Act 2 Flashcards
(33 cards)
Reeny
(finding her voting card)Oh – er …
John
Come on, Mum.
Ted
Right. Good. Now we turn to John. Give us your marks on the juggler, Johnny Perry.
John
For Content – I can only give Johnny Perry five marks.
Ted
Five? Five?
John
Well, there was nothing original in his act, was there?
Ted
Do you know how difficult it is to learn the art of juggling? Do you?
John
(after a pause, sighing)All right – six for Content.
Ted
OK. Presentation?
John
I’ll give Johnny Perry seven for Presentation. He did dress very well, and I think that’s important.
Ted
Good, good. Now. Star Quality?
John
Four for Star Quality.
Ted
You can’t just give him four.
John
Why?
Ted
We’ve got to give encouragement to up and comin’ stars – that’s why. Imagine what he’s going to feel like when I send our votes in and he sees that someone somewhere thought he was only worth four votes.
John
But it is Star Quality we’re talkin’ about, Dad, and jugglers never get to be stars. It’s a speciality act.
Ted
Six for Star Quality …
John
No, four – I said …
Vera
(at length)I love Christmas! (Another pause. Quietly.)I love Christmas! (Another pause. Quietly.)Oh, Reeny!Peter’s gone. You’ve got rid of the budgie!
John
We had to get rid of him, didn’t we, Mum?
Reeny
Never. Mind you, it’s her own fault. If she’d kept her eye on that girl it mightn’t have happened.(Pointing to John.)He brought a girl home about six months ago, didn’t you? He thought the sun shone out of her. But she didn’t fool me – I could tell straightaway she was no good. A very murky girl, she was. It upset him like, didn’t it, John?
John
(absently, still glued to the television)Mmm.
Tommy
(suddenly)Hey John – I’ve got just the thing for you. Have y’ got a Krooklock on your car?
John
There was no point me keepin’ it, Uncle Tom. It was daft really, like me mum said. I mean I could always go out in their car with them. There was no point in having two cars parked outside.
Vera
Very distinguished, Betty.
John
Mum, me Uncle Tommy said can he have a drink?
Reeny
(looking at him in disgust)Are you still in?
John
(puzzled)What?
Reeny
You’re always stuck in this house, you are. Why don’t y’ get y’self out now an’ then an’ find yourself a nice girl.
John
(still puzzled)I’m watchin’ telly. Can me Uncle Tommy have a drink?
Tommy
Has your mother suddenly developed a sense of humour?
John
(going back to look at the television)I think she’s in a bad mood.
Tommy
(to the others, with eyebrows raised)Well, that’s no bloody excuse is it? I mean, I suppose I love our Vera, but if she started upsettin’ me I’d soon bat her one in the mouth.
John
(still looking at the television)She’s got to run away
Syd / Ted
Pardon?
John
You’d all try and stop her.
Ted
Who?
John
You – the family, me Aunty Betty, me mother …
Ted
(a little upset)What are you on about at all?
John
(still looking at the television)I’m just tellin’ y’, Dad.
Ted
Just tellin’ me what?
John
Just tellin’ y’ that y’ll try and stop Sandra goin’ away
Syd
Who’s said anythin’ about stoppin’ her goin’ away, John?
John
See, you never let people do what they want; you never even let yourselves do what you want.
Ted
(outraged)’Ey, ’ey, ’ey. Who d’ y’ think you’re talkin’ to, clever arse? When have we ever stopped you doin’ anythin’ y’ wanted to do?
Silence.
Well?
John
I don’t know.
Ted
I don’t think y’ do know. I don’t think you know y’ arse from y’ elbow
John
I do.
