Confessions of a Facebook Addict

Question 1

Bruce: Hey Man the games about to start…

Answer 1

Carlton: You can not just barge in on a (wo)man when (s)he is on his (her) computer.

Question 2

Bruce: Um this is my house too. I can barge into any room I want. And besides thats my computer… Why? Is that facebook?

Answer 2

Carlton: You have one too.

Question 3

Yes but unlike you I know wen the big game is on it trumps facebook any day.

Answer 3

Carlton: Towch

Question 4

Bruce: Um you mean touche

Answer 4

Carlton: No I mean towch

Question 5

Bruce: psh idiot

Answer 5

Carlton: Excuse me I am…. attending to some very… important friends right now so if you could just…

Question 6

Bruce: Yeah cus you dont have any really friends in the real world

Answer 6

Carlton: Alright let go there. how many friends do you have on facebook?

Question 7

Bruce: Idk like maybe ten

Answer 7

Carlton: You are soo not… cool

Question 8

Bruce: And how many might you have?

Answer 8

Carlton: oh pff only like (cough) 15,000

Question 9

Bruce: You dont even know 15 people. how can you possibly have 15,000 friends?

Answer 9

Carlton: I accept anyone who sends me a friend request. Just come over here and look

Question 10

Looks at computer with bruce.

Answer 10

Carlton: Heres a new request from a girl named Natasha… shes 35 years old… and russian. (pause) welcome to america Ms. Natasha.

Question 11

Bruce: just send me a miracle … send me an angel.

Answer 11

Carlton: Groans loudly

Question 12

Bruce: An angel? Which one is it? Michael? Gabriel?

Answer 12

Carlton: Bruce?

Question 13

Bruce: Lucifer?

Answer 13

Carlton: No… Its Carlton.

Question 14

Bruce: Same thing…

Answer 14

Carlton: Huh.

Question 15

Bruce: Nothing…nothing.

Answer 15

Carlton: Where are we? Why am I tied to a chair?

Question 16

Bruce: How would I know? The last thing I remember is watching the game at the apartment when all of a sudden those FBI agents burst through the door and told us to go with them.

Answer 16

Carlton: You know what? That was weird… I dont think those guys were really FBI agents.

Question 17

Bruce:…No you tink?

Answer 17

Carlton: Yeah, in fact, I bet they were the ones who kidnapped us and tied us to these chairs.

Question 18

Bruce: wow. Sherlock nothing gets by you.

Answer 18

Carlton: (Long pause). Bruce? Are we gonna die?

Question 19

Bruce: No we are not gonna die.

Answer 19

Carlton: (Pause) Were gonna die.

Question 20

Bruce: No! Were gonna get out. Well be fine. Lets just focus on getting out of here now. Try to get to that window over there.

Answer 20

Carlton: How?

Question 21

Bruce: Carlton? Are you okay?

Answer 21

Carlton: I hate you

Question 22

Bruce: Get up

Answer 22

Carlton. Its not working

Question 23

Bruce: Try something else

Answer 23

Carlton: I have an idea… Here

Question 24

Bruce: What are you doing?

Answer 24

Carlton: Just grab my foot and pull me up.

Question 25

Bruce: You know im tied to a chair right.

Answer 25

Carlton: Well... Just...bite it.

Question 26

Bruce: What? are you suggesting that I...

Answer 26

Carlton: Just bite my foot and pull me up with your mouth... please

Question 27

Bruce: let me be clear... There is no way in gods green earth is your foot going into my mouth

Answer 27

Carlton: Were gonna die

Question 28

Bruce: Clam down im coming

Answer 28

Carlton: Calm down. you wnat me to calm down? Im strapped to a chair face suction-cupped to the ground, we may only have a couple minutes to live, ive lost my job, my fiance is expecting me to support a family, and my facebook status hasnt been changed in god know how long.

Question 29

Bruce: C-Carlton just take deep breaths

Answer 29

Carlton: And I just borrowed half a million dollars from a facebook friend.

Question 30

Bruce: You did what?

Answer 30

Carlton: Uh...nothing

Question 31

Bruce: But you wouldnt do that... thatd be stupid... right

Answer 31

Carlton: Funny thing Bruce... Remember when we were at the house before the game?

Question 32

Bruce: you are rediculous

Answer 32

Carlton: All I did was chat with him a bit ... then I poked hime

Question 33

Bruce: Borrowed a butt-load of money from him...then you poked him?

Answer 33

Carlton: Thats what friends do on facebook they poke eachother.

Question 34

Bruce: well im sorry to question your wisdom, oh wise guru of the facebook

Answer 34

Carlton: Your forgivin...plus it was only 500,000$

Question 35

Bruce: what on earth were you planning to do with half a million dollars

Answer 35

Carlton: i dont know: pay some bills... Maybe buy a lamborgini, a big house, a pool, servants, a classy door bell... you know the kind that go...(make door bell song)

Question 36

Bruce: and you have no idea wy were here

Answer 36

Carlton: no?

Question 37

Bruce: let me explain it.

Answer 37

Carlton: hey bruce

Question 38

Bruce: there are two types of people in this world

Answer 38

Carlton: Could you help me up first

Question 39

Bruce: There are those who are loan sharks

Answer 39

Carlton: My wrists hurt

Question 40

Bruce: And those who are not loan sharks

Answer 40

Carlton: There bleeding

Question 41

Bruce: you are not a loan shark you are a loan guppy. When the guppies borrow from the sharks, the guppies get kidnapped by fake FBI agents.

Answer 41

Carlton: My wrists still hurt

Question 42

Bruce: Were getting out of here now

Answer 42

Carlton:OWOW

Question 43

Bruce: What

Answer 43

Carlton: you gave me rug burn

Question 44

Bruce: you got me kidnapped

Answer 44

Carlton: towch

Question 45

Bruce: you mean touche

Answer 45

Carlton: no I mean towche

Question 46

Bruce: we are leaving this instant and there is nothing you can do to screw it up

Answer 46

Carlton: What are yu doing

Question 47

Bruce: ready

Answer 47

Carlton: no

Question 48

Bruce: 1

Answer 48

Carlton: why are you counting

Question 49

Bruce: 2

Answer 49

Carlton: stop counting

Question 50

Bruce: 3... when we get out of here im deleting your facebook account

Answer 50

Carlton: (laugh) good one

Question 51

Bruce: im not kidding. say goodbye to your 14,999 friends

Answer 51

Carlton: 15000

Question 52

Bruce: one of them was a loan shark that kidnapped you. does that really constitute friendship

Answer 52

Carlton: towch

Question 53

Bruce: Are you almost done... weve got things to do

Answer 53

Carlton: How far down is it?

Question 54

Bruce: idk it too dark to see

Answer 54

Carlton: We cant just jump

Question 55

Bruce. well i we uh.. i think i here someone coming

Answer 55

Carlton: what. oh no were gonna die

Question 56

Bruce: no we just gotta jump and hope we dont do the the splat

Answer 56

Carlton: splat

Question 57

Bruce: Just truct me. on the count of three. 1 2

Answer 57

Carlton: wait wait bruce before we jump and possibly do the splat.. i love you.. as a brother(sister)

Question 58

Bruce: Im so glad you clarified. okay are you ready

Answer 58

Carlton: yes

Question 59

Bruce: are you sure..

Answer 59

Carlton: yes

Question 60

Bruce: okay on the count of three 1 2

Answer 60

Carlton: wait

Question 61

Bruce: what

Answer 61

Carlton: on three or after three

Question 62

Bruce: carlton we already landed

Answer 62

Carlton: we already landed?

Question 63

Bruce: we already landed we were on the fisrt story

Answer 63

Calrton: we were only on the first floor

Question 64

start to run after dance party

Answer 64

Carlton: wait... you pushed me out of a window.. and you had no idea how high we were

Question 65

Bruce: not now.. I . hope. youve learned. something. from. all .this.

Answer 65

Carlton: I sure have

Question 66

Bruce: And

Answer 66

Carlton: its pronounced touche