Conflict and IPV / Ch. 11 & 12 - pp.482-492

Question 1

What are the 5 most common topics in marriages?

Answer 1

– Children (Differences in parenting styles, discipline, childcare duties)
– Chores (who does what)
– Money (spending, wages, bills, etc.)
– Free Time (spending together, vs activities)
– Communication (Spouse not listening, understanding)

Question 2

Frequent conflict lowers _______

Answer 2

relationship quality

Question 3

T/F: most fights arise from nothing

Answer 3

True

Question 4

What is the most important thing about conflict?

Answer 4

How it is handled

Question 5

Who developed the four horseman based on observing couples for 30 years?

Answer 5

Gottman

Question 6

T/F: Gottman’s work is empirically tested?

Answer 6

False

Question 7

What are gottman’s four horsemen?

Answer 7

1. criticism
2. comtempt
3. defensiveness
4. stonewalling

Question 8

Four Horsemen: Criticism

Answer 8

– Attacking partner’s personality and character
– “Kitchen-sinking”

Question 9

Four Horsemen: Contempt

Answer 9

– Trying to insult or psychologically abuse partner
– Name-calling, sarcasm

Question 10

Four Horsemen: Defensiveness

Answer 10

– Seeing self as victim
– Cross-Complaining
– “Yes-butting”
– Mind-reading (e.g., “I know how you think.”)
– Rubber Man/Woman (e.g., “I’m rude - YOU’RE rude!”)

Question 11

Four Horsemen: Stonewalling

Answer 11

– Stony silence, removing self physically
– Withdrawa

Question 12

What is kitchen sinking? (associated with four horsemen: criticism)

Answer 12

when couples are fighting about one thing, but someone starts throwing a bunch of other things in the mix to fight about

Question 13

What is often the first step in the demand/withdraw pattern?

Answer 13

Stonewalling

Question 14

What is the demand/withdraw pattern?

Answer 14

demanding criticizes, nags, makes demands; withdrawer avoids confrontation, withdraws, becomes defensive

Question 15

Demand/withdraw patterns are strongly linked to _____

Answer 15

gender

Question 16

What are two “accounts” associated with gender and demand/withdraw patterns?

Answer 16

sociostructural and physiological

Question 17

What are two gender-related sociostructural accounts (demand/withdraw)

Answer 17

– Women are more likely than men to ask their partner to change
– Women are often thrust into the demander role and men respond
with withdrawal

Question 18

What are common demands that women make?

Answer 18

help with household chores, child care, and express more intimacy

Question 19

What is one physiological account (demand/withdraw)

Answer 19

Men tend to get more aroused by conflict with their partners and
tend to withdraw to regulate this arousal

Question 20

What are 3 things that demand/withdraw is associated with?

Answer 20

relational outcomes
wellness outcomes
communication outcomes

Question 21

What is one of gottman’s quotes that is the main takeaway of conflict?

Answer 21

Not whether you fight, its how you fight that matters

Question 22

Name the ways to resolve conflict from most destructive to most constructive (5)

Answer 22

separation
domination
compromise
integrative agreements
structural improvements

Question 23

Name the ways to resolve conflict from most constructive to most destructive (5)

Answer 23

structural improvement
integrative agreements
comrpomise
domination
separation

Question 24

What is the most destructive way of “resolving conflict”?

Answer 24

separation

Question 25

What is the most constructive way of resolving conflict?

Answer 25

structural imrpovement

Question 26

What is separation? (resolving conflict)

Answer 26

Withdrawal of one or both partners without conflict being resolved

Question 27

What is domination? (resolving conflict)

Answer 27

One partner continues to pursue his or her goals, while the other gives in

Question 28

What is compromise? (resolving conflict)

Answer 28

Both partners give up their original ideal in favor of a mutually acceptable alternative

Question 29

What is integrative agreements? (resolving conflict)

Answer 29

Satisfy both partners’ original ideals

Question 30

What is structural improvement? (resolving conflict)

Answer 30

When argument results in fundamental positive change in the relationship

Question 31

Conflict can be good, but can vary depending on personality of the individuals such as ________ and ________

Answer 31

self-esteem and attachment style

Question 32

Conflict can be good, but can vary as a function of a person's implicit theories such as _______ vs. _______ beliefs

Answer 32

growth vvs. destiny

Question 33

Conflict can be good, but can vary depending on ______ and _____ to accomodate partners bad behaviour

Answer 33

motivation and ability

Question 34

conflict can be good, but depends on (4)

Answer 34

personality implicit theories whether conflict is resolved motivation and ability to accomodate partner

Question 35

What are the four types of accommodation responses?

Answer 35

exit (active/negative) voice (active/positive) loyalty (passive/positive) neglect (passive/negative)

Question 36

What is the exit strategy?

Answer 36

Separating, moving out of a joint residence, actively abusing one's partner, breaking up, divorcing, threatening to leave, or screaming at one's partner

Question 37

What is the voice strategy?

Answer 37

Discussing problems, seeking help from a friend or therapist, suggesting solutions, changing oneself, or urging one's partner to change

Question 38

What is the loyalty strategy?

Answer 38

Waiting and hoping that things will improve, supporting the partner in the face of criticism, or praying for improvement

Question 39

What is the neglect strategy?

Answer 39

Ignoring the partner or spending less time together, avoiding discussing problems, treating the partner poorly (being cross with him or her), criticizing the partner for things unrelated to the real problem, or just letting things fall apart

Question 40

What is the passive/negative accommodation behaviour?

Answer 40

neglect

Question 41

What is the active/negative accommodation behaviour?

Answer 41

exit

Question 42

What is the passive/positive accommodation behaviour?

Answer 42

loyalty

Question 43

What is the active/positive accommodation behaviour?

Answer 43

voice

Question 44

What are people's automatic accommodation response?

Answer 44

negative

Question 45

To respond with positive accommodation, it requires __________ and _______. Give an example.

Answer 45

self control and time (e.g., counting to ten)

Question 46

Both partner's tendency to accommodate linked with _______ ________ _______

Answer 46

higher relationship quality

Question 47

Both ____ and _____ are constructive, and work for accommodation

Answer 47

loyalty and voice

Question 48

both _____ and _______ are destructive and do not work

Answer 48

exit and neglect

Question 49

are pro-relational responses to provocations always a good thing? (hint: aggression)

Answer 49

no. Aggressive hunsbands + less forgiving wives = less aggression over time Aggressive husbands + forgiving wives = no change

Question 50

Females are ___x more likely to be victims of IPV

Answer 50

2x (or 3x) - lecture inconsistent

Question 51

What age range of girls most likely to be victims of IPV?

Answer 51

12-24

Question 52

Women who are victims of IPV are more likely to result in ______. a) getting upset b) leaving c) injury d) PTSD

Answer 52

Injury

Question 53

___% of intimate partner homicide victims are women

Answer 53

79%

Question 54

Study: Dating Violence Study (Straus) What was the study about?

Answer 54

university students asked about minor (e.g., shoving) and major assaults (e.g., choking, punching, knife)

Question 55

Study: Dating Violence Study (Straus) What did they find?

Answer 55

29% of students report physically assaulting partner 10% report severe assault more women report assaulting partner women more likely to be injured

Question 56

T/F: findings on IPV are controversial based on gender and perpetrating violence

Answer 56

True

Question 56

Is assault more common in married or dating couples?

Answer 56

Dating

Question 56

T/F: Among couples where only one partner is violent, men are more likely to be perpetrators

Answer 56

False

Question 56

T/F: men and women report assaulting partners at equal rates

Answer 56

True

Question 57

Most studies on IPV come from _______ data.

Answer 57

self-report

Question 58

Survey data misses out on _____/_____ aspect of IPV

Answer 58

coercive/controlling

Question 59

What are the two types of IPV?

Answer 59

Situational couple violence/intimate terrorism

Question 60

What is situational couple violence?

Answer 60

Arises in the context of specific arguments that turn aggressive, then violent

Question 61

Who is most to blame for situational couple violence?

Answer 61

50/50 - gender symmetrical

Question 62

Is situational couple violence more likely to occur in same-sex or opposite-sex relationships?

Answer 62

Equally likely

Question 63

What is intimate terrorism?

Answer 63

Arises from one partner using violence to coerce or exert control over the other

Question 64

What gender is most likely to perpetrate intimate terrorism?

Answer 64

over 90% men

Question 65

Is intimate terrorism more likely to occur in same-sex or opposite-sex relationships?

Answer 65

heterosexual

Question 66

Where is date collected for intimate terrorism?

Answer 66

shelters, hospitals, police records

Question 67

Is intimate terrorism or situational couple violence more common?

Answer 67

situational, however it is less intense than intimate terrorism