CWOWS Flashcards
(40 cards)
Let us therefore begin our shrinks of Shakespeare’s massive came by rendering them blood bar of his great romantic tragedy down to the bear essentials of smooth teenager with of Romeo and Juliet. Prologue!
Two households both alike in dignity.
In fair Verona where we lay our scene,
From ancient grudge break a new mutiny
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean.
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star crossed lovers take their life,
Whose is misadventured, piteous o’erthrows,
Do, with their death bury their parents’ strife.
Lo, Romeo did swoon with love;
By Cupid he’d been crippl’t:
But Juliet had a loathsome coz
Whose loathsome anne was Tybalt.
Romeo, the love I bear thee can afford. No better term this: thou art a villain. Therefor turn and draw.
Tybalt, I do protest, I never injured thee,
But love thee, better than thou can’t devise.
Thou wretched boy, I am for you!
[die]
O I am slain.
Whatever. He’s a big cheater.
Hey, it takes a real genius to milk five ideas into 16 plays.
Yeah, but I can never tell them apart. Like what’s the one with the shipwreck, the identical twins, and the big wedding at the end.
All of them.
… The comedy of two well measured gentlemen lost in Mary wives of Venice on a Midsummer 12th night in winter or -
Cymbeline Taming Pericles the Merchant in the Tempest of Love As Much As You Like It For Nothing. Or-
The Love Boat Goes to Verona!
O dear father, I am so lonely an pubescent on this island! I am sad, boo hoo. And frisky, rrar.
O precious daughter, watch out for hypersexualized symbol of colonial oppression lurking in the caves!
Meanwhile the dukes long lost son a handsome dashing clueless young merchant is also shipwrecked coincidentally the very same island.
How shall i survive on without funds in this strange foreign land? i know i must needs find a moneylender. behold, here cometh a convenient lala now
Act Two. fearing ravishment, the clueless young princess disguise as herself as a boy and becomes a page to a handsome, dashing, clueless, young soldier
You there boy!
Yes? i mean yes?
You shall woo Kate for me for she is shrewish, and i am sick with love and gender dysphoria!
I too feel both phlegmy and confused down there for a while i may not speak it aloud, i do love thee though i am a boy
I swingeth not that way boy. delivered this letter to Kate the shrew. go hence
whence
hie thee hither from hence to thence
that doesn’t make sense!
because you’re dense
The beautiful clueless young princess arrives in man drag to woo he shrew
It is I Kate the shrew. I am so a woman and you totes a man. Come hither!
whither?
Hither from thither. If you come inside, i’ll show you my zither
….. the faires seduces a rude mechanical named Bottom, who coincidentally has the head of an ass.
Yeah, but I have the ass of a man, and I’m hung like a donkey!
….The merchant recognizes his sister.
My nearly-identical twin!
My long-lost and strangely attractive brother!
“O Brave New World”
The dashing young soldier decides he actually prefers Bottom.
And thereby hangs a sweet tail!
And they all get married and live happily ever after. Now give us your hands if we be friends-
because all is well that finally ends!
… Part One, Part Two-
HUP!
…. but there’s a heavy rush from King John.
“My gross flesh sinks downwards!”
Victory is mine!
But he’s hit immediately by King John. Oh no! He’s cutting Henry the sixth into three pieces. That’s gotta hurt!
This could be the end of the War of the Roses cycle!
…. Looks like he’s out of for the game. Replacing him now is number seventy-two, King Lear.
To Regan and Goneril I’ll had off my kingdom. Cordelia, you go long.
