Trevor

Question 1

ON WITH THE SHOW (singing)

Answer 1

Trevor. Where’s the microscope?

Question 2

That’s Walter Stiltman. He lives next door.

Answer 2

I was able to collect the specimen pretty quick thanks to 7-B.

Question 3

I guess since his mom’s divorced, she has to buy this weirdly elaborate underwear out of magazines.

Answer 3

Do you think Cathy wears stuff like this?

Question 4

She wears a flannel navy nightgown with long sleeves. I’ve seen it.

Answer 4

Lucky.

Question 5

Hardly.

Answer 5

Woah! Get over here!

Question 6

It’s not fair. Why is Mrs. Kerr in charge of putting together The Talent Show? She can’t even put together an outfit. You know?

Answer 6

I like what Mrs. Kerr wears. Especially that green dress with the loose button.

Question 7

Okay.

Answer 7

Would you just look at this already.

Question 8

It looks like tadpoles.

Answer 8

Here: your turn.

Question 9

But: we already observed yours.

Answer 9

It’s a scientific experiment. We can’t learn anything from just one specimen. You’re the second variable.

Question 10

What are we learning again?

Answer 10

I’m working on a hypothesis that mine are abnormally strong. Like, top ten percent strong. But given that i have limited data; my adjusted hypothesis is that mine are just way stronger than yours.

Question 11

No they’re not.

Answer 11

Prove it.

Question 12

… is it true it can make me go deaf?

Answer 12

No. Trust me.

Question 13

Do I need to use the same girl as you?

Answer 13

I was very happy with my choice. You should be equally happy with yours.

Question 14

THEY GO WITH HER BRA (singing)

Answer 14

Okay.

Question 15

AND WITH THAT STRAP ACROSS HER THIGHS (singing)

Answer 15

… i guess.

Question 16

BUT WOULDN’T IT ITCH SITTING ON STRAW? (singing)

Answer 16

She’s in a barn.

Question 17

THAT SEEMS A LITTLE UNWISE (singing)

Answer 17

So what?

Question 18

Walter. I don’t want a girl who isn’t smart.

Answer 18

Trevor…

Question 19

Like inner beauty, you mean?

Answer 19

Not at all. No.

Question 20

Mom. Saying “knock, knock” after you walk in isn’t actually knocking.

Answer 20

Hi, Mrs. Nelson.

Question 21

What are you guys up to?

Answer 21

Science.
Homework.
Nothing.

Question 22

Well. I just popped our Swanson Dinners in the oven. Pot roast! Or pot pie? Pot something. They’ll be ready in time for The News, so finish up what you’re doing and come downstairs.

Answer 22

Yes, ma’am.

Question 23

TURN, TURN, TURN (singing)

Answer 23

Uch-gross!

Question 24

What?

Answer 24

The last two pages have underwear for guys. He looked like Pinky Farraday.

Question 25

Which one?

Answer 25

The one on the tractor. It’s pretty disgusting.

Question 26

That’s crazy. She can’t even sing.

Answer 26

Hey. Trevor. Where did you put the-

Question 27

Put what?

Answer 27

The… uh science magazine

Question 28

And then come downstairs. You can do science in the living room.

Answer 28

She’s onto us. Let’s just go to the Frosti-Freeze. Cathy’s working there with her mom tonight. Maybe she can get us free stuff.

Question 29

I can’t. I’ve got rehearsal. For the Talent Show.

Answer 29

Mrs. Kerr let you in?

Question 30

No. Pinky Farraday is letting me work with them.

Answer 30

No he’s not.

Question 31

How about I meet you at the Frosti-Freeze tomorrow after we finish? Tonight’s our first rehearsal. So i feel like I should stay until-

Answer 31

Hold on. You’re actually serious? You’re doing the Talent Show with Pinky Farraday.

Question 32

Creating, directing, and choreographing.

Answer 32

But: I thought they just danced around in those tutus every year while everyone laughs at them?

Question 33

Hey. You’re still waiting for Trevor?

Answer 33

Nope! Here. Want a melted sundae?

Question 34

Walter, you know he’s super busy. For his golden dream.

Answer 34

Yeah, but. Aren’t you a little worried about, you know- those people. and Trevor. Together.

Question 35

You mean that Frannie’s gonna like him? I know! But you don’t think he’ll like her back, do you? I mean; I watched every Tony Awards with him since 1976!

Answer 35

What? Uh, no. I don’t think that will happen. I don’t think that at all.

Question 36

But. Frannie is like… Strawberry Bubbliciois.

Answer 36

Huh… ?

Question 37

… I haven’t had gum in a really long time.

Answer 37

Nineteen months and twenty-three days!

Question 38

What? (c)

Answer 38

Since you got your braces.

Question 39

O.. kay.

Answer 39

I.. just. I always remember, cuz- That’s the day I started growing out my mustache and beard. See?

Question 40

Yeah, well I wouldn’t worry, Walter. There must be a logical explanation.

Answer 40

Testosterone.

Question 41

No. I mean for Trevor.

Answer 41

Trevor!? Logical?

Question 42

What your father means to say is… Sometimes. Around your age, things get confusing. And. Well, maybe you… Look at farming magazines that are a little-

Answer 42

Farming Magazines!?

Question 43

Someone needs to learn to knock.

Answer 43

Please don’t tell my mom!

Question 44

Your mom?

Answer 44

About the magazine. She gets them in the mail, and - we just- we thought it was funny. That’s all. I swear.

Question 45

Good.

Answer 45

Trevor. First you ditch me and now you’re gonna get me grounded for the rest of my life!

Question 46

I’m sorry, Walter. There’s just: a lot going on right now. Like: have you heard of the Quality Courts?

Answer 46

That hotel they’ve been building forever on Route 9?

Question 47

Thanks!

Answer 47

What are you talking about?

Question 48

Do you want to go there? With me?

Answer 48

WHAT!? No!

Question 49

CANT WAIT TO TELL YOU SOMEHOW (singing)

Answer 49

Hey. Did you and Cathy have a fun time last night?

Question 50

Walter. I’m sort of busy right now with something a little more serious than-

Answer 50

Something serious? Really!? Oh, you mean like: living in a daydream all week? Or do you mean obsessing over this talent show. Or maybe like- … writing Pinky’s name on your diary?

Question 51

It’s not a diary. Walter! Just because you’re jealous-

Answer 51

Jealous!? Of Pinky!? Have you completely lost it!!?

Question 52

I can’t right now. It’s really important day and-

Answer 52

No it’s not! It’s the Lakeview Talent Show: Who cares!? I mean what do you think is gonna happen? You’re not even in the show.

Question 53

I am in the show. It’s my vision, and when people see what I did, they’ll all know.

Answer 53

Know what?

Question 54

Hey. Is that Trevor’s?

Answer 54

Uh…?

Question 55

You’re his friend, right?

Answer 55

I don’t know about that anymore.

Question 56

True. Trevor’s friends with Pinky Farraday now. I guess he can’t be hanging around with anyone who’s so… weird.

Answer 56

Me!?

Question 57

Well, that’s what Trevor told Pinky. Right?

Answer 57

But! I’m not the one who… I mean, talk about weird.

Question 58

What do you mean?

Answer 58

He-! Uh…

Question 59

Walter. He went to the Quality Courts with Cathy. He’s not being a good friend.

Answer 59

You found it in his chair if anyone asks.

Question 60

I JUST KEEP ON RELIVING IT AND THEN I WANNA DIE (singing)

Answer 60

Trevor. I’m sorry that Pinky didn’t do your dance. While everyone watched. After you worked so hard on it all week. Cuz, if everyone had just seen it, it would have made everything happen for you. But, instead…

Question 61

Walter. Cathy. You guys need to talk to Trevor.

Answer 61

We’re not really talking.

Question 62

Cathy. I’m sorry things have changed, okay. But we still all know Trevor. And someone has to get him to stop asking about Pinky’s note.

Answer 62

Why?

Question 63

Frannie told you about Pinky’s note, didn’t she?

Answer 63

Trevor, I can’t talk to you.

Question 64

Walter. I’m sorry. I know I haven’t been a good friend. I know it. But that doesn’t mean-

Answer 64

You’re sorry? Now? Cuz you need something from me.

Question 65

Walter, please: Pinky might have said something really important to me and I-

Answer 65

He didn’t.

Question 66

You know?

Answer 66

Trevor, trust me-

Question 67

Trust you? After you showed my notebook to everyone!?

Answer 67

Well I didn’t know it got so much worse past the cover. I mean, jeez, why do you have to act so weird all the time? We’re not kids anymore, can’t you just start acting like a normal person and stop?

Question 68

Can’t I act normal!? You’re the one who looks at your sperm under a microscope!

Answer 68

Trevor-

Question 69

You wanted to look at mine too-

Answer 69

Shut up.

Question 70

-for your “experiment”!

Answer 70

Fine Trevor. Fine. Here is your wonderful, important letter from your best, best, best friend.

Question 71

OR COULD IT BE? (singing) [scene change]

Answer 71

Hey.

Question 72

Hey.

Answer 72

It’s late. The bus. So, you didn’t miss it.

Question 73

Oh. Good.

Answer 73

I thought you moved or something. You were gone so long. Nothing changed. Except Frannie’s hanging out with Cathy now instead of Mary. Pinky’s hanging out with Mary now instead of Frannie. And I’m hanging out with no one now instead of you. And. I’m sorry.

Question 74

Walter…

Answer 74

Yeah?

Question 75

Besides, I don’t kiss people who my other best friend wants to kiss.

Answer 75

Trevor! I don’t know what he’s- He must have another other best friend, because-

Question 76

Nope. Still Walter!

Answer 76

Oh. What is she doing!?

Question 77

Here

Answer 77

What is-?