Exam 2 (11/5)

Question 1

Hill’s ABC-X model

Answer 1

War induced separation and reunion
(A) The stressor event
(B) the family’s resources-strengths, things they draw on
(C) the definition or meaning attached to the event by the family, perception
(x) the stress or crisis-how much stress, degree of stress

Question 2

Hill’s ABC-X model, resources involve traits and abilities of:

Answer 2

o Individual family members
o The family system
o The community (ex: brady bunch, leave it to beaver)

Question 3

Resources also include…

Answer 3

-coping skills o (healthy) communicating with others, direct action, seek expert help
o (unhealthy) substance abuse, withdrawal, denial (Malcolm in the Middle)

-social support

Question 4

Two types of resources

Answer 4

o Internal resources- redefining stressful experience in a way that makes it manageable, sense of family identity and intimacy, good communication styles
o External resources- social support from friends, neighbors, relatives. Spiritual support, communication resources such as classes, shelters, grants, programs, etc.

Question 5

ABC-X shows that what perception is important?

Answer 5

perception of stress

Question 6

McCubbin & Patterson’s Double ABC-X Model

Answer 6

Pre-crisis+post-crisis- long term model

Stress pile up (ex: Car accident)

Question 7

Double ABC-X model types of adaptation

Answer 7

o Maladaptation- deteriorate, defeated
o Bonadaptation- morphogenesis, functional
o Mal-bad, bon-good
o Range

Question 8

The Roller Coaster model of family stress assumptions

Answer 8

o No stress > predictable patterns of activities (morphostasis)
o Developmental and unpredictable stress > changes (morphohenesis)
o Families develop rules
o Family stress occurs when the system doesn’t have enough rules to transform inputs into outputs

Question 9

Impact of major change

Answer 9

Control, loss of control, angle of recovery, return to control

Question 10

Burr & Klein’s levels of family stress

Answer 10

Level 1 stress: Cope by making specific, superficial changes. Simple to fix.
Level 2 stress: Cope by making fundamental changes-long term. Cause you to rethink how to approach things. Ex: married, 2nd shift, strain on marriage
Level 3 stress: Fabric of family in trouble, basic philosophy must be reexamined (ex: Hannah Anderson, San Diego), trust, philosophy changes

Question 11

married prisoners coping with stress study

Answer 11

Marriage=expectations of togetherness
Survey of M and F married prison inmates
Married 3 weeks to 38 years
Spent 8 months to 23 years in prison apart from spouse
Serving 3 months to life
Written, oral history interview
Measures of loneliness, satisfaction, and relational commitment.

Question 12

Results from married prisoners experiment

Answer 12

o Most married prisoners not very lonely
o Relational commitment and satisfaction protect people from loneliness (internal resources)
o Loneliness is not related to length of sentence, total time in prison, or time in prison since married
o Having a good marriage is a source of hope and contentment.

Question 13

defining components of social competence

Answer 13

Successfully and appropriately meeting expectations of social environment
Successfully coping with social situations with no clear norms/expectations

Question 14

parental characteristics that influence competence

Answer 14

authoritative parenting, parental control,

Question 15

Authoritative parenting

Answer 15

element of democracy but in control, cooperativeness, independent, good competence

Question 16

Parental control (positive and negative)

Answer 16

o Positive: firm control, good, 2 types:
 Induction: use of reasoning for expectations, set and explain rules
 Monitoring: knowing child’s whereabouts and child in general
o Negative: excessive control, heavy-handed tactics, bad:
 Punitiveness: verbal or physical punishment excessively without explanation. Builds resentment and is counterproductive
 Psychological overcontrol: manipulating child’s emotions, love withdrawal, guilt induction, fosters lots of problems, like depression

Question 17

support

Answer 17

positive behavior, being responsive, providing advice, emotional support, assistance, children with this tend to feel closer to parents.

Question 18

family dynamics and developing social competence (4)

Answer 18

Observational learning: can be positive or negative, parents are models for children
Family cohesion: moderate
Adaptability: moderate
Conflict: moderate, no conflict-not good, don’t know how to deal with conflicts when they are adults, no problem solving skills, and don’t learn compromise like they do in conflict.

Question 19

family interaction patterns that promote adolescent social competence and positive values, study:

Answer 19

Studied about 10,000 6-8th grade students.
Positive family communication: “I have lots of good convos with my parents” 1-5, “Important concerns would you talk to your parents about it?” definitely-no, “How often does one of your parents talk to you about what you’re doing in school?”

Question 20

Findings from family interaction patterns study:

Answer 20

Positive values: supportive family, maintaining standards in family, positive family communication (e.g. caring, equality, integrity, honesty, responsibility, restraint justice, etc.).
*Positive family communication: strongest predictor of values. Positive family communication also predicted higher social competence (planning and decision making, getting along with friends, resistant skills) in adolescents

Question 21

family structure and adolescents’ confidants (shift from early to middle adolescence, nonparental confiding and risk behaviors), study and findings

Answer 21

Confidant seeking is an attachment behavior
Seek emotional security in times of stress
Safe haven or secure base
Studied 4100 ages 12-14 (early adol.), followed through ages 14-16 (middle adol). “emotional problem, who would you turn to first?” Also assessed risk behavior (running away, theft, selling drugs, carrying a gun)
Confidants: mother is number 1, decreases with age however. As older, romantic partner increases. Went from mom 12-14, romantic partner 16-18, everything else stayed pretty constant.
Kids from single mother families were most likely to name moms as primary confidant. Girls from mother-step dad families more likely to report romantic partners than those from two biological parent families. Adolescents who preferred romantic partners as primary confidants over mothers showed higher levels of delinquency and substance use. Same is true of those who nominate friends over mothers.

Question 22

effects of interparental conflict on adolescents (impact on dating aggression)

Answer 22

Social learning theory-observe role models
391 adolescents mostly 15-16 years old. About 115 engaged in aggression in relationships, physical aggression, romantic relationship aggression.
Parental modeling effect for boys but not girls. Girls internalize, while boys externalize.

Question 23

family communication and adolescents’ life satisfaction, study in Scotland

Answer 23

6000 11-15 year olds in Scotland
How easy is it for you to talk to the following people about things that bother you (e.g. mom, dad, stepdad)
Family structure and family affluence > life satisfaction
Ease of FAMILY COMMUNICATION had strongest association with life satisfaction
Ad: communication, the anti-drug

Question 24

family communication and problem drinking in college freshmen

Answer 24

About 750 freshman at Penn State
Report on their family communication and drinking daily for 14 days
More time in communication with parents >fewer drinks consumed, 32% less likely to engage in heavy drinking.
Especially true on weekends where those who drank consumed an average of 5.45 drinks
Suppressant effect

Question 25

Effects of parenthood on marriage: changing marital satisfaction

Answer 25

Start off with high satisfaction (honeymoon phase), then declines with the birth of 1st child (stress), then eventually increases again when child grows up and/or moves out (but never to level of honeymoon period again)

Question 26

Effects of parenthood on marriage: confound between child bearing and duration of marriage

Answer 26

Childbirth is usually confounded with marital duration, usually happens 2-5 years into marriage

Question 27

Effects of parenthood on marriage: expectations for division of labor (what are they? what actually happens?)

Answer 27

The husband is used to taking care of household duties while the wife is pregnant, but then assumes the wife will go back to them after the child is born. However, the wife needs his help even more now since a baby is a lot of work and she doesn't have time for everything

Question 28

Effects of parenthood on marriage: increase in conflict/ changes in leisure

Answer 28

stress, being tired, sleep deprived, and short on time

Question 29

Effects of parenthood on marriage: decreased intimacy

Answer 29

being tired, sleep deprived, short on time, spend less time coversing, their relationship becomes less central to what is important in their lives now

Question 30

The spillover hypothesis for the effect of marriage and parenthood

Answer 30

Quality of marriage effects quality of parenting. Marital disharmony leads to child behavioral problems

Question 31

socialization hypothesis

Answer 31

Parents are not providing good socialization skills

Question 32

stress and role strain hypothesis

Answer 32

Marital strains create system problems, adult pair bond serves dual function. "what goes around, comes around"

Question 33

nature of sibling relationships (most enduring, intragenerational, etc.)

Answer 33

Normative consensus for parents, not siblings, more ambigious Most enduring relationship Intragenerational: span of one generation First studied by Sir Francis Galton

Question 34

multiple siblings and schooling

Answer 34

more siblings, less schooling

Question 35

family resources and multiple siblings (resource dilution hypothesis)

Answer 35

Parental resources spread thin Less time for interaction Low verbal ability in big families

Question 36

diffusion of responsibility and multiple siblings

Answer 36

more siblings, less frequent contact with parents more siblings, less responsibility for parental care ex: 19 and counting in families with impaired parent 47% of women who were only children provided care vs. 25% of all daughters 25% of men who were only children v. 90% of all sons

Question 37

marriage, widowhood, and sibling bonds

Answer 37

Poor health/death of parents strengthens sibling bond Marriage loosens sibling bond Widowhood/divorce strengthens sibling bond Parental marital conflict= more negativity in sibling relationship

Question 38

effect of differential treatment from parents on sibling bonds

Answer 38

more negative sibling relationship

Question 39

contact and closeness with siblings (e.g., race, sex, what proportion list sibling as closest friend)

Answer 39

50% have contact once a month 2/3 report sibling amongst their closest friends Higher education=greater sibling contact Blacks have most sibling contact, Asians least Women have more contact than men Greatest impact of life: same sex sibling Ties to full siblings are closer than to half or step

Question 40

carryover model

Answer 40

people with close siblings also have closer friends. Sibling warmth=positive peer relationships

Question 41

scaffolding theory

Answer 41

practicing cognitive skills, people in our lives provide structure, supporting, reasoning. Cons: siblings give us less superior advice/skills than parents would. But it is generally viewed as good and important. Both conflict and support from siblings is important.

Question 42

types of sibling relationships (e.g., caretaker)

Answer 42

Caretaker- 24%, parental type role for sibling, usually older sibling Buddy- 22%, good friends, degree of mischief involved often ex: Beaver and Wally Casual- 28%, older views younger as kind of uninteresting, prefers friends, doesn’t feel great sense of responsibility to younger sibling None of these- 25%, detached, quarreling, competition, sometimes open hostility, trapped between loyal and hostile, least cohesion.

Question 43

changes over the lifespan + Cantor’s hierarchical-compensatory model+decreases and increases in sibling contact over the lifespan

Answer 43

Cantor’s (1979) hierarchical- compensatory model Charts online Sibling proximity declines More education= less proximity Dissolution of marriage= closer proximity Children, new marriage=decreased contact Contact drops with age Giving aid drops with age then increases at age 70

Question 44

association between education and sibling proximity

Answer 44

more education=less proximity

Question 45

association between widowhood or divorce and contact with siblings

Answer 45

more contact following widowhood or divorce

Question 46

communicating commitment to siblings (e.g., social support, intimacy expression, direct expression)

Answer 46

social support: fulfilling ongoing social needs intimacy expression: engaging in every day talk on a regular basis and engaging in activities together direct expression: verbal or nonverbal expression of commitment *protection*: most common, looking out for siblings best interests, protecting them, not letting others disparage them Intimate play: playful behaviors that are specific to the participant and sibling

Question 47

assumptions of Fitzpatrick’s typology

Answer 47

Different interaction styles and ideologies in different marriages Couples can be classified into different distinct marital types

Question 48

conceptual dimensions (autonomy/interdependence, etc.)

Answer 48

Autonomy (less connection+sharing, ex: long distance)/interdependence (companionship+sharing+organizing lives around each other)= connectedness Conventional/nonconventional ideology (ideology of traditionalism vs. ideology of uncertainty and change). Noncoventional=unpredictability is important, novelty, spontaneity Conflict engagement/avoidance

Question 49

couple types (e.g., traditional, independent)

Answer 49

Traditionals, independents, separates. Classifies 60% in these, others are mived (40%)

Question 50

communication behaviors of different couple types

Answer 50

Traditionals: few disagreements, not assertive, high self-disclosure within marriage, generally highest in reported satisfaction Independents: avoid discussion of big issues, negative disagreements, assertive, highest in jealousy, still pretty satisfied Separates: less talk, avoid contact, try to “top” each other

Question 51

association between commitment and satisfaction in different couple types

Answer 51

Personal commitment: wanting the relationship to last, having a future orientation Dedication commitment: wanting to sustain the relationship in order to benefit both members Constraint commitment: feeling that you would lose something if you left the relationship or that you are in the relationship because of poor alternatives. The association between marital satisfaction and commitment (personal and dedication) was highest in the separates and lowest in the traditional Separate: if I’m happy, staying. If I’m unhappy, I’m out. Driven by rewards Traditional: not comm. For rewards, comm.. because of ideology. More likely to stay in bad marriage than separates

Question 52

Gottman’s marital typology | regulated vs. nonregulated marriages

Answer 52

Two classes of marriage: o Regulated- keep a grip on negativity, more positive than negative, keep conflict under control o Nonregulated- when fight, negativity gets out of control and does damage.

Question 53

the behavioral balance theory of marriage:

Answer 53

set point/balance between positive and negative. 5:1 ratio of positive to negative in successful marriage

Question 54

Gottman: research method

Answer 54

couples have three 15-minute conversations, convos coded for + or – communication behaviors, 4 years later, 92% recontacted. Are you still together? Are you happy with your marriage?

Question 55

Gottmans couple types

Answer 55

Regulated: conflict engagers o Volatile- high level of negativity, higher level of positivity and passion, 5:1 ratio o Validating- medium amount of negativity, more positivity, at least 5 times more o Avoiders- conflict avoiders, little negativity and positivity, just enough positivity to outweigh negativity Unregulated: o Hostile- failure to meet 5:1 ratio, lots of negative, high levels, not enough pos to outweigh neg., still passionate o Hostile/detached- failure to meet 5:1 ratio, cobra, dangerous, not as aggressive, checked out, not real emotional about it, take it or leave it, no passion.

Question 56

Couple types influence attempts and emotional expressiveness-most likely to last (Fitzpatrick)

Answer 56

Volatile- begin influence attempts right away o Most emotionally expressive o Positive and negative affect freely expressed o Strong, passionate individuals o High levels of disagreement as well as affection and humor Validating- influence attempts peak during middle of interactions o Emotional expressiveness in moderation, at the right time, and only on really central issues o Emphasis on we-ness and companionship Conflict-avoidant- minimize importance of a problem o Emphasize strengths in their relationship o All happy, low likelihood of divorce, balance of 5:1

Question 57

comparison of Fitzpatrick’s and Gottman’s typologies (e.g., validator = traditional)

Answer 57

Validator=traditional Volatile= independent Avoider= separate

Question 58

changes in negative and positive affect in interactions

Answer 58

Increases in neg. and dec. in pos. affect in parent adolescent interactions

Question 59

changes in parent-adolescent conflict over time

Answer 59

Increasing parent-adolescent conflict as the child physically matures during adolescence.

Question 60

effect of physical maturity and privacy invasions

Answer 60

Privacy invasion is a strong predictor of subsequent parent-adolescent conflicts

Question 61

differences between adolescents’ and parents’ reports of parent-adolescent conflict parentification

Answer 61

Adolescents report greater increases in conflict engagement over time with mothers than with fathers. But their mothers and fathers both reported decrease in conflict with adolescents Change in positive problem solving and conflict engagement, move to horizontal relationship

Question 62

association between parentification and parental conflict and youth behavior problems

Answer 62

Parentification: role reversal, children meet parents need for support and companionship, happens in dysfunctional family Peak in mid-adolescence ex: Mackenzie Phillips, Pretty in Pink Commonly provided by daughters, received by mothers Parental conflict association with more parentification Parentification leads to youth tendency to intervene in parental conflicts and leads to decrease in parental warmth and support Maternal parentification leads to increased youth behavior problem.

Question 63

corrosive marital conflict behaviors (e.g., demand-withdrawal, cross-complaining)

Answer 63

demand-withdrawal, cross-complaining, summarizing self, mind reading

Question 64

Demand-withdrawal

Answer 64

o Complain, demand, criticism > withdrawal, defensiveness o Common in divorcing couples o Unresolved closeness-distance dilemma o Marker of marital dissatisfaction o Willingness to engage in conflict is generally positive

Question 65

cross-complaining

Answer 65

o “what about you syndrome” o Respond to partner’s complaint with complaint of your own o Does not acknowledge partner’s original complaint o Unlikely that either issue will be dealt with

Question 66

Summarizing self

Answer 66

o Failure to acknowledge other’s point of view o Continual restatement of own position o Battle of wits o No movement toward resolution or partner’s position

Question 67

mind reading

Answer 67

o Partners attribute intent and motivation to each other o Righteous indignation o Introduced with “you always” or “you never” o Mind reader presumes to know more about partner’s psychological state than what is evident to the naked eye o More confident in their own interpretation

Question 68

conflict (constructive and destructive behaviors) in newlywed couples and divorce proneness

Answer 68

Newlywed couples followed for 16 years Destructive conflict behaviors: predicted greater likelihood of divorce by year 16. Constructive conflict behaviors: useful at preventing divorce, only if used by BOTH spouses. Constructive behavior is useless at preventing divorce if used in a relationship where the other spouse uses withdrawal

Question 69

verbal aggressiveness vs. argumentativeness and marital violence

Answer 69

V.A: the tendency to attack another person’s self-concept rather than their position on a topic Argumentativeness: attacking partner’s position on a topic V.A.: an argumentation skill deficiency-adhomanon ex: Cancun vacation Argumentativeness (-) leads to less marital violence Verbal aggression (mental midgets) (+) leads to more marital violence

Question 70

why are some people verbally aggressive? social learning of marital conflict through observation of parents

Answer 70

Family conflict resolution task observed when child was 14 17 years later, measured marital adjustment, observed marital conflict resolution in a 31 year old Higher in time 1 family of origin hostility, predicted more marital hostility in time 2. Pos. engagement in family of origin predicted more positive engagement in time 2 marital interaction Hostile family comm. At time 1 predicted more mental hostility at time 2 Family of origin conflict interactions patterns are learned by adolescents and reenacted in their later adult marriages

Question 71

stability

Answer 71

longevity of a marriage, duration or persistence

Question 72

satisfaction

Answer 72

subjective evaluation of the quality of the marriage

Question 73

distress

Answer 73

opposite of satisfaction

Question 74

are satisfaction and stability perfectly correlated?

Answer 74

no

Question 75

natural changes in marital satisfaction over time (what are some reasons for this?)

Answer 75

Marital satisfaction declines over 3-5 years of marriage Hypotheses: presence of children (added stressor) and honeymoon effect wearing off Satisfaction rebounds in 15-20 years 30% of husbands and 15% of wives show increased satisfaction during early years

Question 76

models of changing satisfaction (e.g., emergent distress)

Answer 76

emergent distress, disillusionment model, enduring dynamics model

Question 77

emergent distress

Answer 77

marriage starts out happy, antagonistic behaviors erode positive aspects of marriage

Question 78

disillusionment model

Answer 78

couples start out happy, idealized views become difficult to sustain over time, increasing interdependence makes it hard to conceal problems and maintain exaggerated affection

Question 79

enduring dynamics model

Answer 79

courtship is not a time of idealized or extreme impression management, newlyweds are aware of each other’s strengths and weaknesses, patterns of behavior emerge out of courtship and continue into marriage, the fate of a relationship is determined before marriage

Question 80

the role of aggression and positive emotional expression in predicting and upward or downward trajectory in satisfaction

Answer 80

About 87% of husbands, 80% wives evidenced downward trajectories in marital satisfaction over the first 4 years of marriage Importance of aggression decreases, importance of positive emotional expression flat lines In first 5 years of marriage, negative communication decreased for both distressed and nondistressed couples.

Question 81

how do positive and negative communication behaviors change over time in distressed and nondistressed couples?

Answer 81

Decreased more for nondistressed couples Positive communication increased over time for nondistressed couples But it decreased over time for distressed couples

Question 82

reciprocity of negative affect

Answer 82

Negativity= disagreement, criticism, guilt induction Negative affect reciprocity Anger, disgust, contempt, sadness, fear Experience of negative affect in conflict interactions predicts declines in satisfaction

Question 83

sentiment override

Answer 83

Tendency to respond to partner behavior based on a general sentiment rather than anything about the behavior itself More common on negative, but not positive, affect

Question 84

*when are the communication behaviors that predict marital distress first evident?

Answer 84

PREMARITALLY

Question 85

stability of satisfaction vs. communication behaviors

Answer 85

Satisfaction changes over time Communication patterns are stable Negativity, dysfunctional, conflict, criticism, poor communication skills can be identified premaritally

Question 86

sleeper effect

Answer 86

Kicks in later on, why? Not looking at reality, see it but ignore it.

Question 87

unrealistic expectations and marital distress

Answer 87

People enter marriage with romanticized and idealized expectations When reality falls short, distress follows Failure to meet expectations lead to complaints

Question 88

complaints lead to

Answer 88

conflict

Question 89

relationship-specific optimism and conflict behaviors

Answer 89

Newlyweds asked about their optimism for improvement in their relationship. E.g. “I expect my partner and I will always be able to resolve our disagreements” “I expect my partner will always be affectionate”, etc. High relationship-specific optimism was associated with less adaptive problem solving behavior during conflict Especially when the topic was very important

Question 90

optimism about future marital satisfaction and actual future marital satisfaction

Answer 90

“over the next four years, do you expect that your overall feelings about your marriage will become…” 1-much worse, 5=much better *most couples exhibited declines in satisfaction Forecasts are INVERSELY associated with actual marital trajectories Believing the relationship will get better may set spouses up for disappointment when it does not Believing marriage will improve may explain why many couples proceed to get married despite experiencing premarital doubts

Question 91

potential media influences on unrealistic expectations

Answer 91

Viewing “romance genre” TV (e.g. soap operas, reality based relationship programming, romantic comedies) lead to unrealistic beliefs about marriage

Question 92

divorce rate

Answer 92

50% of all 1st marriages will end in divorce | 60-65% of all 2nd marriages end in divorce

Question 93

crude vs. refined divorce rate

Answer 93

Crude: number of divorces per 1000 in the population (includes everyone, even infants, not that reliable) Refined: number of divorces per 1000 married women over age 15

Question 94

change in divorce rate over time

Answer 94

Sharp increase in divorce in the 1960s-1970s 1974 was the first year in history that more marriages ended in divorce vs. death Death now causes 78% as many marital dissolutions as divorce Divorce rate dropped slightly from 4/1000 in the population in 2000 to 3.5/1000 in the population in 2010 During the same time period, marriage rate also dropped from 8.2 to 6.8/1000 in the population

Question 95

divorce rate in AZ

Answer 95

AZ has a high marriage rate and high divorce rate In 2009, AZ had 8th highest divorce rate in the country Divorce rate in Maricopa County is estimated at 65-70%

Question 96

societal factors in divorce (e.g., attitudes toward divorce, economic changes for women)

Answer 96

Societal attitudes- divorce much more accepted now Economic changes- i.e. earning status of women individualism

Question 97

individual risk factors for divorce (e.g., unrealistic expectations, age, premarital pregnancy)

Answer 97

unrealistic expectations age premarital pregnancy and birth race (highest: black, medium: latino, lowest: asian) children- presence of children, biological lower divorce, stepchildren higher divorce premarital cohabitation parental divorce socioeconomic status (SES): education, income, etc. remarriage (2nd marriages 60-65% divorce rate, first 50%) religion As divorce rate changes, marriage rates are also changing

Question 98

family issues that change with the divorce rate (e.g., marriage rate, single parent households)

Answer 98

While the divorce rate increases, the number of marriages decrease; people don’t view marriage as an essential part of life anymore, they live longer so they stay single Female headed households are much more common than male only households Uncoupled child rearing with marriage

Question 99

marital interactions predictive of divorce (e.g., low intensity negative affect, husband’s refusal to accept spouse influence)

Answer 99

Results of negative affect: Husband and wives high intensity negative affect (belligerence, defensiveness, contempt) in the conversation predicted divorce Wives only low intensity affect (whining, anger, sadness, domineering, disgust, fear, stonewalling) predicted divorce Results of interaction process: Negative affect reciprocity (wives): wives who redirect/diffuse negative affect of husbands will decrease divorce Refusing to accept influence from spouses (husbands) increase in divorce Failure to de-escalate low intensity negative affect from spouse (skills husbands need to learn)

Question 100

the general interaction pattern predictive of divorce (e.g., negative start up from the wife)

Answer 100

negative start up from the wife (wife presents complaint to husband) refusal to accept influence from her by the husband wives reciprocity of low intensity negativity (she would get angry right back) (couples heading to happiness, the wife would be more calm and not get more angry) the absence of de-escalations of negativity by the husband (he lets her go off and get more and more angry without doing anything to settle things down a little bit)

Question 101

what is the cascade model?

Answer 101

Cascade: once it starts in full force, future stages are inevitable (phenomenon)

Question 102

Four horsemen of the apocalypse

Answer 102

complain/criticize defensiveness contempt stonewalling

Question 103

complain/criticize

Answer 103

identify the spouse or spouses behavior as problematic or defective, way of complaining that suggests something’s wrong with their spouse. o Masters complain but they complain about themselves, what they feel, and what they need o When complaints become criticism that’s the beginning

Question 104

defensiveness

Answer 104

attempts to ward off or protect the self from perceived attack (denial of responsibility or counter blame); warding off attack o Righteous indignation- act like an innocent victim, whine o Masters accept part of the problem, “you did something” good point I did, I’m sorry o No conflict resolution

Question 105

contempt

Answer 105

insult, mockery, sarcasm, disapproval, and put down of the spouse, sending the message of hatred. o Calling partner names or directly insulting them “you’re a jerk, you only talk about yourself” o Single best predictor of divorce o Masters: create a culture of appreciation o Built by scanning environment for things you can praise and appreciate

Question 106

stonewalling

Answer 106

listener withdrawal, no feedback or eye contact, more peaceful because both members have checked out, not interested anymore. It’s over with, emotional withdrawal from conflict. Speaker feels like they aren’t getting through

Question 107

the distance and isolation cascade (e.g., flooding, perception of problems as severe)

Answer 107

Flooding > emotional disengagement > parallel lives >loneliness >divorce Flooding is the first step, when flooded, unable to effectively listen. No one is really hearing each other As a response to disengagement, start doing things separately.

Question 108

positive and negative premarital communication and risk for divorce

Answer 108

?

Question 109

Bohannan’s six stations of divorce (e.g, emotional divorce, legal divorce)

Answer 109

1. ) emotional divorce- experience a change in their feelings towards their partner 2. ) legal divorce- working through the legal dissolution of the marriage, a lot of negotiation, couples communication actually increases 3. ) economic divorce- division of your accounts and your assets 4. ) co-parental divorce- optional, you only go through this if your parents, the primary task is the resolution of how the kids will be supervised and raised and who will have responsibility of their welfare 5. ) community divorce- when you tell your parents, friends, co workers, etc. Sometimes comes first, sometimes last 6. ) psychic divorce- psychological closure on their marriage, they no longer think of themselves as married (usually the last stage but harder with couples with kids), accept the fact that they are single

Question 110

legal vs. physical custody

Answer 110

Legal- human being who has responsibility for the child, in a “normal divorce” both husband and wife can have legal custody Physical- there are some parents who have legal custody and don’t have physical custody

Question 111

sole vs. joint custody

Answer 111

Sole- child lives with one parent Joint- both parents share physical and legal custody, children in joint are better adjusted than those in sole custody and equal those intact families.

Question 112

from movie: good and bad conflict in marriage

Answer 112

masters vs. disasters

Question 113

3 things for friendship to increase

Answer 113

love maps (feeling like your partner is interested in you and your stressors and dreams), fondness and admiration, and bids for emotional connection (don't turn away), ask open ended questions

Question 114

What override do you want?

Answer 114

positive sentiment override not negative (chip on shoulder), you want shared meaning with partner.