Exam Textbook Flashcards
(184 cards)
1
Q
Historically, was a marriage based on love?
A
no
2
Q
What are the 4 dimensions on which love has varied through time?
A
Clutural value: is love a desireable or undesirable state?
Sexuality: should love be sexual?
Sexual Orientation: Should love involved heterosexual or same-sex partners?
Marital Status: should we love our spouses, or is love reserved for others?
3
Q
Why is it that the idea of marrying for love is strongest in North America?
A
Individualism Economic prosperity (allowing young adults to live by themselves) Lack of a ruling class or caste system
4
Q
Sternberg’s 3 building blocks for love
A
- Intimacy
- Passion
- Commitment
5
Q
Sternberg’s Intimacy =
A
Feelings of warmth, understanding, trust, support and sharing that often characterizes loving relationships
6
Q
Sternberg’s Passion =
A
Physical arousal and desire, excitements and need.
|»_space;Often take the form of sexual longing, but it can be any strong emotional need that is satisfied by one’s partner
7
Q
Sternberg’s Commitment =
A
Feelings of permanence, stability, and the decision to devote oneself to a relationship and work to maintain it
8
Q
Commitment is mostly ______ in nature, whereas passion and intimacy are _______
A
Cognitive
Drives or motives
9
Q
Non-love
A
None of passion, intimacy or commitment
10
Q
Liking
A
High intimacy
Low passion and commitment
11
Q
Infatuation
A
Strong passion
No intimacy or commitment
12
Q
Empty love
A
High commitment
No intimacy or passion
13
Q
Romantic love
A
High intimacy and passion
14
Q
Companionate love
A
High intimacy and commitment
No passion
15
Q
Fatuous love
A
High passion and commitment
No intimacy
16
Q
Consummate love
A
High passion, intimacy and commitment
17
Q
Which component of Sternberg’s love varies the most
A
passion
18
Q
Parts of the brain activated by sexual desire, attachment and attraction
A
Sexual desire = hypothalamus
Attraction = reward (dopamine)
Attachment = oxytocin
19
Q
Two-Factor theory of attraction has 2 components
A
1) Physiological arousal such as an increased heart rate
2) The belief that another person is the cause of your arousal
20
Q
Does the type of arousal matter for increased attraction?
A
No, it can be positive or negative
21
Q
What does research say about the phrase “Love is blind”
A
There is evidence for it, people underestimate or ignore their lover’s faults and hold idealized versions of them
22
Q
What are 2 findings of the change in self-concept at the beginning of a new relationship
A
Self-concept becomes more diverse and self-esteem increases
23
Q
Long lasting marriages seem to include a lot of _____ love
A
Companionship
24
Q
More compassionate love is related to more ______
A
relationship satisfaction
25
Compassionate love is rooted in more ______ understandings of our partner's strengths and weaknesses
Accurate
| > Recognize deficiencies but love them anyway
26
Eros:
has a strong physical component, heavily influences by appearance
27
Ludus:
Lack of commitment, often multiple partners at once
28
Storge:
Prefers friendship that gradually grows into lasting commitments
29
Mania:
Demanding, possessive and excitable
30
Agape:
Love is altruistic and dutiful
31
Pragma:
Practical, careful, and logical in seeking a mate
32
People with a secure attachment style experience and express better:
- Intimacy
- Passion
- Commitment
- Compassionate love
33
What is a big difference in the way that older people related to their partners
- More cheer
- Less arousal
- Less intense emotions but overall more positive
34
Are men and women more similar or different when it comes to love?
More similar
35
Which of the three aspects of love is more highly associated with men and with women
Men are highly associated with passion
| Women are more highly associated with commitment
36
Romantic love typically ____ after people marry
Decreases
37
Passion fades over time, this is associated with the decrease in what (3) of long term relationships
The fantasy, arousal, and novelty of a new relationship
38
Even though passion declines with time, what part of love increases
Intimacy and commitment
39
What is a strategy to keep the love alive in a long-term relationship
Engage in novel activities together
40
When are we generally accepting of pre-marital sex?
When it is in the context of a committed relationship
41
Do people prefer "hooking up" or being in a relationship
relationship
42
In terms of sex, how do men and women differ in what they regret?
Women tend to regret the things they did do
| Men tend to regret the thing they didn't do
43
What are 2 reasons people have less negative attitudes towards same-sex couples
1. Gays and lesbians are much more visible to the public
| 2. We understand homosexuality much better now
44
What is a main factor of why people believe that we should be accepting of homosexuality vs not?
Accepting: believe it is biological
| Don't Accept: believe it is a choice
45
Men and women are both just as likely to have sex for emotional reasons. Which gender is more likely to have sex for physical, pragmatic and insecurity reasons?
Males
46
What is the prevalence of infidelity?
21% of women
| 32% of men
47
What is the motivation for cheating for men and women?
Men want sex
| Women want an emotional connection
48
What demographic cheats the most?
Gay men
49
According to the sociosexuality model, who has a more unrestrictive orientation and is more likely to flirt.
Men
50
Can people guess who is sexually restrictive vs unrestrictive just by looking at them?
Yes
51
What facial characteristics suggest men and women are sexually unrestricted
More masculine and attractive face
52
Do people want to have a relationship with sexually unrestrictive people?
Not a long-term relationship
53
The good-gene hypothesis for the explanation for why women cheat
Some women - particularly those with less desirable mates - can profit from a dual mating strategy where they a) pursue long-term partners who will contribute resources to protect and feed their offspring while b) also seeking good genes for their children with other men
54
Are men or women more likely to switch mates as a result of an affair?
Women
55
Why is there such a large proportion of people who have unprotected sex? (7)
- Underestimate the risk of getting an STI (many do not even ask)
- Faulty decision making - men are much worse at making decisions when sexually aroused
- Intoxication
- People think that it is more accepted by others than it actually is
- Differences in power
- Abstinence-only education
- Sex is more enjoyable without condoms
56
Illusion of Unique Invulnerability
perception that bad things are more likely to happen to others than ourselves
57
Pluralistic Ignorance
When people wrongly believe that their feelings and beliefs are different from those of others
58
Does more satisfying sex come from monogamy or multiple partners?
Monogamy
59
Sex is most rewarding when it fulfills what needs? (3)
1. Autonomy
2. Competence
3. Relatedness
60
How do traditional gender roles affect sexual satisfaction
Decrease it
61
Clear _______ about sex is associated with greater satisfaction
Communication
62
Relational value:
the degree to which others consider the relationship with us to be valuable
63
When is exclusion most painful?
When we wanted to be included by others
64
Is there a difference in the hurt feelings experienced when people don't care about us vs are actively avoiding us?
Not really, it seems that our momentary judgment of our self-worth bottom out when people reject us to any extent
65
Is there a significant boost in self-esteem from being very well liked to being adored?
not really
66
What perception of relation value are we most sensitive to?
Ranging from ambivalence to the low end of active inclusion
67
Decreasing acceptance hurts ____ than just constant rejection
more
68
What attachment styles experience the most hurt with relational devaluation (decreased acceptance)
high anxious
69
What attachment style experiences the least pain with the relational devaluation
Avoidant
70
People with _____ self-esteem get hurt less when rejected
high
71
When we are being ostracized what is our perception of temperature
We think rooms are colder and we prefer warm food and drink
72
What happens to time perception when being ostracized?
Feel that it is slower
73
Those who ostracise others are just as likely to ____ and ____ them as to shame and instruct them
frustrate and anger
74
reactive jealousy an be caused by what types of events
past, present or near future events
75
Do men and women differ in their jealous tendencies in general
No
76
Dependance and jealousy
People who have more dependence (low quality of alternatives) are more prone to jealousy
77
Jealousy increases with feelings of ______ in a relationship.
This is related to a person's ____
inadequacy
Self-esteem
78
Which attachment style experiences the most jealousy
preoccupied
79
People high in what personality trait are prone to jealousy
neuroticism
80
What type of mate rivals cause us to be more upset
Friends (vs strangers)
| If the person has more to offer
81
Are men or women better at detecting sexual infidelity in their partner?
Men
82
Mate poaching tactics of men and women
Men: offer power and willingness to provide resources
Women: offer good looks and sex
83
What type of cheating to family members find most worrisome?
Sexual infidelity
84
If partners cheat with someone of the same sex, what are men most worried about and what are women most worried about:
Men care about the sex only as much as women do (no chance of paternal uncertainty), the affair is less threatening to them
Women think it is equally awful for a homo vs hetero affair
85
What attachment style is most likely going to try to work out problems after learning about infidelity
Secure
86
The different responses to the threat of your partner's ex of men and women
Women: put on a show and gain approval of partner
Men: protect their ego by confronting rival or flirting with others
87
Are men or women more likely to try to get their partner jealous? Why do they do it?
Women
| Do it to test the relationship or to get more attention from partner
88
Ways to reduce their own unwanted jealousy
| 2
Self-reliance: "stay cool" and not dwell
| Self-bolstering: boosting own self-esteem
89
Deception:
intentional behaviour that creates an impression in the recipient that the deceiver knows to be untrue
90
Types of deception: (4)
Outright lying
Concealing information
Diverting attention
Half truths
91
Do we tell more or fewer lies to friends/partners than strangers
fewer
92
Deceiver's distrust:
When people lie to others, they often begin to perceive the recipients of the lies as less honest and trustworthy as a result
93
What type of people tell more lies?
Insecure attachment
People who are concerned about what others think of them
People who are social
94
Truth bias
Assuming our partner is telling the truth
95
Do men and women differ in their tendency to betray
no
96
Who are men and women more likely to betray?
Men: romantic business partners
Women: friends and family
97
What are 3 main problems with revenge?
1. It can turn into a cycle of hurting each other
2. It is less satisfying than expected
3. Being vengeful keeps the hurt alive and does not allow us to heal
98
Why do people with secure attachment forgive more?
They ruminate less
99
What factors make forgiveness easier?
1. Sincere contrition
2. Victim's empathy
3. No rumination
100
Forgiveness is associated with ______ relationship satisfaction when the partner rarely misbehaves and _____ relationship satisfaction when the partner frequently betrays
higher
| lower
101
When does conflict occur
When one's wishes or actions actually obstruct or impede those of someone else
102
Dialetics
Partners differing goals that will always be in conflict with each other by nature
103
Typical dialetics in relationships: (4)
Stability and change
Integration and separation
Openness and closedness
Autonomy and connection
104
Personalities that encounter more conflict>
High neuroticism
105
Attachment style that encounters more conflict
Insecure
More anxious
Especially with an anxious and avoidant diad
106
Age and experiences of romantic conflict
Peaks in mid 20s and then decreases
107
Similarity of partners and conflict
People who are less similar have more conflict
108
Sleep and conflict
People get in more conflicts when they have slept poorly
109
Alcohol and conflict
Intoxication makes people less agreeable and more conflict prone
110
What are the 4 common categories of things that instigate conflict
1. Criticism
2. Illegitimate demands (unjust/unreasonable expectations)
3. Rebuffs
4. Cumulative annoyance
111
Attributional conflict
fighting over whose version of events is correct
112
Attributional biases we have for ourselves that contriute to conflict (2)`
Actor observer bias
| self serving bias
113
When compared to unhappy couples, happy couples regard their partner as being ________ motivated and as behaving ______ with ______ intent
selfish
unfair
negative
114
When a person thinks that their partner's bad behaviour is changeable, what are they more likely to do?
More likely to voice their discontent and constructively try to solve it
115
Avoidance in conflict occurs when?
when both partners wish to evade the issue, happens more often when it is not a big deal or does not seem worth it to get into it
116
4 types of direct nastiness in conflict
1. Criticism
2. Demands of compliance
3. Antagonistic questions
4. Sarcastic put-downs
117
Negative affect reciprocity
Partners trade escalating provokations back and forth
118
Two possible reasons for the gender differences in the demand-withdraw pattern
Gender differences : women expected to be expressive, men expected to be independent
Social Structure: comes from the differences in power between men and women --> Men have more power, and if you are getting your way you are likely to resist change
119
Which is more beneficial, voice or loyalty?
Voice
120
Whem are people more likely to exit rather than work through a problem
when there is an attractive alternative
121
Why do volatile, validating and avoidance conflict styles all work?
Because the good outweighs the bad
122
Ratio of good to bad that is required for a happy relationship
5 good for 1 bad
123
Which conflict style gives the most relationship safisfaction
both validating
124
Can you change your conflict style?
It is possible, but less than half manage it
125
Social power:
the ability to influence others and resist their influence
126
To have power you do not always need to HAVE the resource, but rather, you need to:
control the access to it
127
Principle of Lesser interest
In any partnership, the person who has less interest in continuing and maintaining the relationship has more power
128
The influence of alternatives on power
If a person has more alternatives they have more power than their partner
129
Why may the avaliability of alternatives affect the power realtionship for working dads and stay at home moms?
Working men have more access (contect) to alternatives and the means (money) to pursue them
130
Fate control
When one partner controls the other partners outcomes no matter what the partner does (eg. is the only source of the resource they want
131
Behavioural control
Altering your partners behaviour by changing your own behaviour (eg. tit for tat)
132
Counter power
When partners influence over each other is matched
133
3 types of social norms that lead to legitimate power
1. Reciprocity - obligation to return a favour
2. Equity - obligation to put in the same amount of work
3. Social responsibility - be generous to those who depend on us
134
Who is the dominant one in most heterosexual relationships
man
135
Why do men typically have more power over women?
- Have more resources (make more money, employed in positions of power)
- Social norms (powerful women are looked down on)
-
136
Universal resources
Resources that can be exchanges with almost anyone
137
Particularistic resources
resources that are valuable in some siuations but not others
138
Women usually get their way for the small things in a relationship (household matters and kids) but who makes the big decisions (where to live)
Men
139
Even when women make more money than men, who does more of the house work
women
140
Casual sex views of powerful people
They expect that their subordinates will find them sexually appealing and judge others to be more sexually available
141
Power in conversations with men and women
Women will display less power in a conversation with a man than she would with a woman (let him interrupt her more)
142
Non-verbal body language of powerful people: (4)
- larger interpersonal distance
- more intense facial expressions
- postures are less symetrical
- take up more space
143
Who is better at decoring emotions and being more aware of emotions
women
144
Who needs to keep track of the emotions of the other, someone with more or less power
Less powerful people need to keep track of the emotions of powerful people
145
What desire getting technique is used the most in happy relationships?
Direct
146
More powerful people use bilateral or unilateral techniques for getting what they want?
bilateral
147
Is it more gender or power level that predicts influence type
Status/power
148
ratio of men and women who have experienced domestic violence
women: 1/4
| Men 1/7
149
Situational couple violence
when there is a heated argument, usually mutual
150
Intimate terrorism
When one partner uses violence as a tool to control the other
151
Violent resitance
A partner forcibly fights back against intimate terrorism
152
8 ways intimate terrorists control their partners
- coercion and threats
- intimidation
- emotional abuse
- econimic abuse
- isolation
- minimizing, denying, blaming
- using children
- using male priviledge
153
Who are more likely to engage in physical violence with their partners
women
154
3 categories of situational couple violence
1. instigating triggers - cause both partners to be on edge
2. Impelling influences - make it more likely that partners will experience violent impulses
3. Inhibiting impulses - encourage partners to refrain from violence
155
2 possible reasons for intimate terrorism
1. Bad at communication and violence is the only way they can make them stay
2. They are antisocial and like inflicting harm
156
Characteristics of abusing men:
- feel intellectually inferior to partner
- low self esteem
- poverty
157
Why don't women leave abusive relationship?
They dont think they would be better off if they left
158
Low income predicts more or less divorce
more
159
Cohabitating before marriage predicts more or less divorce
more
160
What are the 2 main barriers that distinguish couples who divorce with those who dont?
1. Dependence on spouse
| 2. Religious beleifs
161
Stress spill over
Stresses felt outside of the home are brought home and create conflict
162
Enduring dynapics model predicts how ______ a couple will be
happy
163
2 big conclusions from the PAIR project:
1. The ____ and ____ of changes in romance best predict divorce
2. The psoblems couples bring into a relationship determine how ____ a divorce will occur
1. Size and speed
| 2. quickly
164
Preserving indirectness in breaking up
Gradual dissatisfaction that led to one partner to make repeated efforts to dissolve the realtionship without ever announcing the intention and without engaging in any attempts to improve or repair the relationship
165
5 general stages of relationship breakup
1. Personal phase - feelings of frustration
2. Dyadic phase - unhappy partner reveals discontent
3. Social phase - partners publicize distress
4. Grave dressing phase - getting over loss
5. Resurrection phase - re-entering single life
166
We can correctly predict how long it will take to get over a break up but over estimate what?
The pain of the initial breakup
167
Do people feel better or worse after divorce
Usually better when it is a long time coming
168
Womens and mens standard of living after a divorce
Women goes down (more mouths to feed with less money) and men's goes up (less mouths to feed, more money)
169
Well being of children of divorced parents
Lower well being
170
If parents are constantly fighting, is it better or worse for the parents to divorce?
Better to divorce
171
Cognitive interdependence
Percieve greater over lap between partners lives and use more plural pronouns
172
Positive illusions
Idealizing each other and percieving the relationship in the best possible light
173
Percieved superiority
Thinking one's relationship is special
174
Inattention to alternatives
Not paying attention to other alternatives
175
Derogation of tepting alternatives
Percieving other potential partners as less attractive than their own
176
5 cognitive relationship maintenence mechanisms
1. Cognitive interdependence
2. Positive illusions
3. Percieved superiority
4. Inattention to alternatives
5. Derogation of tempting alternaties
177
7 behavioural relationship maintaining mechanisms
1. Willingness to sacrifice
2. Prayer
3. Michelangelo phenomeon
4. Accomodation
5. Self control
6. Play
7. Forgiveness
178
Michelangelo phenomenon
helping the other to become who they want to be
179
8 strategies to stay content in a relationship
1. Positivity
2. Openness
3. Relationship talk
4. Assurance
5. Understanding
6. Sharing tasks
7. Sharing social networks
8. Joint activities
180
Of the 8 strategies to stay content in a relationship, which 3 are most important?
Positivity
Assurance
Sharing tasks
181
Traditional behavioural couple therapy encourages partners to behave in what way?
Be more pleasant and rewarding partners
182
Integrative behavioural couple therapy builds on traditional therapy how?
Encourages partners to accept incompatabilities they cannot change
183
Emotionally focused therapy teaches couples what?
To identify maladaptice cycles and replace them with more constructive interactions
184
Insight oriented therapy
Strives to help people understand hoe their habits are creating difficutly in the relationship
