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Flashcards in Final Exam- Chapter 12 Deck (87):


Self-disclosure and the sharing of private thoughts are hallmarks of intimacy


Erikson: Intimacy vs. Isolation

1. Intimacy should occur after one is well into establishing a stable and successful identity
2. Intimacy is finding oneself while losing oneself in another person; requires a commitment to another
3. Failure to achieve intimacy results in social isolation


Intimacy and Independence

1. Balance between intimacy and commitment, and independence and freedom
2. Young adults who have not sufficiently moved away from parental ties may have difficulty in interpersonal relationships and a career


Generativity—moving toward middle adulthood

1. A motive or need to contribute to society
2. Can be met through one’s vocation or avocation, child rearing, community service, etc.
3. Includes productivity and creativity
4. Desire and accomplishment- and found that the desire for generativity is quite strong even in early adulthood and actually declines through middle and late adulthood


Researchers have linked several dimensions of childhood temperament with characteristics of adult personality

1. Easy and difficult temperaments
2. Inhibition
3. Ability to control one’s emotions
-Link between childhood and adult temperament may depend on aspects of the environment (Wachs, 2000)


Simpson & Rholes (1998)

Provide an organizational framework to conceptualize 2 traditions


Nuclear Family Tradition

1. Examines the outcome of a person’s attachment to his primary caregivers in infancy, once the person becomes an adult
2. How do early attachments endure throughout life?


Peer/Romantic Partner Tradition

1. Focus on peer attachments of adults
2. How do early attachments impact the quality of romantic and friendship relationships in adulthood?


Romantic partners fulfill some of the same needs for adults as parents do for children

Adults may count on their romantic partners to be a secure base


Childhood attachment is linked with adult attachment in romantic relationships

Link can be lessened by stressful and disruptive experiences (Lewis, Feiring, & Rosenthal, 2000)– death of a parent, instability of caregiving


Adult Attachment Interview (AAI)

1. Developed by Main and Goldwyn (1984)
2. Composed of a series of 18 open-ended questions:
-memories of relationships with mother & father
-recollections of stressful events such as separations loss, harsh discipline, or abuse, interpretations of parental behaviors
-evaluations of the effects of these early events on then interviewee’s later development


Adult Attachment Styles- Main and Goldwyn (1984)

1. Autonomous (secure) (also earned secure)
2. Dismissing (insecure)
3. Preoccupied (insecure)
4. Unresolved (insecure)
5. Cannot classify
-a child’s attachment status can become more or less secure if he or she has either positive or negative experiences with close relationships after the infant-toddler period
-When participants have reached adolescence or young adulthood, people can “earn” security by experiencing later supportive relationships or can develop insecure representations of attachment if they experience negative life events after early childhood
-Adults who were secure as children can later demonstrate insecure states of mind because of intervening, highly stressful events such as parental loss, divorce, abuse, illness, or psychiatric disorder


Autonomous (secure)

1. Coherent & collaborative report with sufficient detail and evidence
2. Ability to integrate & monitor their thinking, summarize answers, & return the conversation to the interviewer
3. Less egocentric & good perspective taking skills
4. Genuine & authentic expression of feelings
5. Able to reflect on past difficulty realistically---called earned secure



1. Reports marked by low levels of detail and coherence
2. Describe parents as very positive or idealized, but did not support with evidence
3. Tend to minimize or avoid discussion of attachment-
related issues & downplay the importance of close relationships
4. When discussing non-emotional topics, the person is able to talk at length
5. Failure to remember is often cited for impoverished answers
6. Tend to have children in the avoidance attachment category



1. Typically violated the rules of the collaboration with the AAI interview
2. Person provided very long, incoherent, egocentric responses that shift from topic to topic
3. Perform in ways that suggest that they are overwhelmed by the emotional memories elicited
4. Speech may sound angry, fearful, or sad
5. Parents may be remembered as intrusive or egocentric
6. Enmeshment & preoccupation with parents



1. Demonstrate marked lapses in logical thinking particularly when discussing loss or other traumatic memories
2. Children of unresolved adults tend to show a higher frequency of disorganized attachment patterns


Cannot classify

1. Used when protocols do no meet criteria for other categories


Adult Attachment Styles (Hazan and Shaver, 1987;1994):

1. Secure Adults
2. Avoidant Adults
3. Anxious Adults


Secure Adults

1. Have a positive view of relationships and find it easy to get close to others
2. Are not overly concerned with or stressed out about romantic relationships
3. Tend to enjoy sexuality in the context of a committed relationship


Avoidant Adults

1. Are hesitant about getting involved in romantic relationships
2. Tend to distance themselves from their partner


Anxious Adults

1. Demand closeness; are less trusting
2. Are more emotional, jealous, and possessive


Bartholomew & her colleagues (1991, 1998) proposed a new conceptual framework consisting of 4 categories across 2 dimensions

People thought to develop expectations about how reliably their significant others will behave in close relationships, as well as expectations about how worthy or unworthy they are of care or support
-4 categories of attachment orientation are
◦ Secure, Dismissing, Preoccupied, and Fearful



-People have internalized a positive sense of themselves along with positive models of others
-They expect others to be available & supportive of their needs in close relationships
-Comfortable with emotional closeness, but are reasonably autonomous



-Hold positive models of others, but negative models of themselves
-Marked by emotional demandingness, anxiety about gaining acceptance from others, fear of hypervigilance to cues of rejection, & excessive preoccupation with relationships.



-Characterized by a positive model of the self but a negative model of the other.
-Denying the need for close relationships permits these adults to maintain a sense of superiority while devaluing the importance of others to their well-being



-Product of negative models of both self and others
-Attachments are desirable but seen as out of reach
-Their desire for close relationships is thwarted by fear of rejection, & they ultimately withdraw.


Benefits of Secure Attachment (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2007)

1. They have a well-integrated sense of self-
acceptance, self-esteem, and self-efficacy
2. They have the ability to control their emotions, are optimistic, and are resilient
3. They activate cognitive representations of security, are mindful of what is happening around them, and mobilize effective coping strategies


Attachment insecurity places couples at risk for relationship problems

-Avoidant-Avoidant and Anxious-Anxious pairing are rare
-Secure-Secure and Avoidant-Anxious pairings more likely


Attachment-Relationship satisfaction

1. Secure: reported more positive emotion, trust, commitment, & interdependence
2. Avoidant: Less interdependence & less committed to their partners
3. Anxious: relationships lacked trust


What Motivates Attraction?

1. Familiarity is necessary for a close relationship
-People seek others who are similar to themselves, but opposites do attract in certain instances
--Consensual Validation
2. Physical attractiveness is important, but the link is not clear-cut
-Also, standards of what is attractive change over time & across cultures
-Matching Hypothesis


Consensual Validation

Our own attitudes and values are supported when someone else’s are similar to ours


Matching Hypothesis

We tend to choose partners who match our own level of attractiveness
-Recent research suggests that once married, attractive husbands were less satisfied & both behave more positively when the wife is attractive


Types of Love

1. Romantic love
2. Affectionate love


Romantic love

1. passionate love, or eros
-Strong components of sexuality and infatuation
-Different emotions: anger, fear, passion, sexual desire, joy, jealousy
-Sexual desire is an important component


Affectionate love

1. companionate love
-Based on a deep and caring affection
-Passion tends to give way to affection


Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love

1. Passion
2. Intimacy
3. Commitment



Physical and sexual attraction to another
-erotic attraction or feelings of being in love



Emotional feelings of warmth, closeness, and sharing



Cognitive appraisal of the relationship and the intent to maintain the relationship even in the face of problems


Consummate love

the strongest form of love; involves all three dimensions


Friendship provides people with:

1. Companionship
2. Intimacy/affection
3. Support
4. Source of self-esteem


Friendship is...

1. important throughout the life span
2. are often chosen based on criteria such as loyalty, trustworthiness, & support
3. Adult friends usually come from the same age group


Communication Style & Conflict Resolution

1. Contain one or more subtexts: love, loss, trust, abandonment, etc.
2. Elicit strong emotions & can trigger patterns of emotion regulation learned in the earliest of attachment relationships


Simpson, Rholes, & Phillips (1996): Communication Style and Conflict Resolution

1. Secure individuals were less defensive than insecure ones and held the most favorable views of their partners after discussing a major problem
2. Avoidant persons kept the most emotional distance; gender differences
3. Ambivalent: reacted with the most negative emotion; displaying high levels of anxiety & stress & feelings of hostility & anger


Gender Differences in Friendships

1. Women have more friends than men; female friendships involve more self-disclosure and exchange of mutual support
2. Women’s relationships are characterized by depth and breadth; “talking companions”
3. Men tend to engage in activities, especially outdoors
4. Men share useful information but keep a distance
5. Men are less likely to share weaknesses; they seek practical solutions to their problems rather than sympathy
6. Male relationships are more competitive


Cross-gender friendships

1. more common among adults than among elementary school children
2. Can provide both opportunities and problems
-Learning more about common feelings and interests
-Acquiring knowledge and understanding of beliefs and activities of the other gender
-Different expectations
-Unclear sexual boundaries


Single Adults

1. Dramatic rise in the last 30 years (73% of men & 62 % of women ages 20-29; CDC, 2006)
2. Associated with many myths and stereotypes “swinging single” to “desperately lonely”
3. Common problems:
-Forming intimate relationships with other adults
-Confronting loneliness
-Finding a place in a society that is marriage-oriented


Earned secure

The person has come to terms with the less than optimal early experiences—possibly with the help of a secure partner


Advantages of single adults

1. Having time to make decisions about one’s life
2. Freedom to make autonomous decisions and pursue one’s own schedule and interests
3. Opportunities to explore new places and try out new things
4. Privacy


Cohabiting Adults

1. Percentage has increased in recent years
2. Some couples choose to cohabit permanently, rather than get married
3. In the U.S., cohabiting arrangements tend to be short: 1/3 lasting less than 1 yr; less than 1 in 10 lasts 5 yrs.
4. Relationships between cohabiting men and women tend to be more equal than those between husbands and wives


Cohabiting Adults Problems

1. Disapproval by parents and other family members
2. Difficulty with legal and financial issues


Cohabiting Adults Research

1. Research suggests either no difference or worse outlook for couples who cohabit before marriage
-Timing seems to be key: couples who cohabited only after being engaged had better marital outcomes
3. May be a selection effect: people who are likely to cohabit may be less conventional and may not believe in marriage in the first place
4. May be that cohabiting changes people’s attitudes and habits in ways that increase their likelihood of divorce


Marital Trends

1. Marriage rates have declined in recent years
2. Marriage in adolescence is more likely to end in divorce
-Getting married in the U.S. between 23 and 27 resulted in a lower likelihood of divorce
3. Average duration of marriage in the U.S. is just over 9 years
4. Percentage of married persons who said they were “very happy” declined from 1970s to 1990s, but recently began to increase
5. Men report being happier in marriage than women


Premarital Education

1. Premarital education can improve the quality of marriage and reduce the chances of divorce
2. Recommended to begin 6 months to 1 year before marriage


Benefits of a Good Marriage

1. Happily married people live longer, healthier lives
-Less physical and emotional stress


Some groups have a higher incidence of divorce

1. Youthful marriage
2. Low educational level
3. Low income level
4. Not having a religious affiliation
5. Having divorced parents
6. Having a baby before marriage



1. Divorce typically occurs within the 5th to the 10th year of marriage
2. Divorced men and women complain of loneliness, lowered self-esteem, anxiety about unknowns, and difficulty forming new intimate relationships


Remarried Adults

1. Most adults remarry within four years after divorce
2. Stepfamilies come in many sizes and forms
3. Remarried adults are more likely to have higher levels of depressive symptoms than adults in intact, never-divorced families
4. Many remarry not for love but for financial reasons, help in rearing children, and to reduce loneliness
-Remarried couples experience more stress in child-rearing


Gay Male and Lesbian Adults

1. Are similar to heterosexual relationships in satisfactions and conflicts
2. An increasing number are creating families that include children
3. Many misconceptions:
-Masculine/feminine roles are relatively uncommon
-Only a small segment of the gay male population have a large number of sexual partners
-Typically prefer long-term, committed relationships


Parenting Trends in the U.S. Today

1. The age at which individuals have children is increasing
2. As birth control is common practice, many consciously choose when they will have children, and how many
3. The number of one-child families is increasing
4. Women are having fewer children and are working outside the home more
5. Fathers are increasing their participation in household chores
6. There is widespread institutional childcare (day care)
7. Women are becoming mothers later life, a large number after they are 35 years of age


Advantages of Having Children Early

1. Parents are likely to have more physical energy
2. Mother is likely to have fewer medical problems with pregnancy and childbirth
3. Parents may be less likely to build up expectations for their children


Advantages of Having Children Later

1. Parents will have had more time to consider life goals
2. Parents will be more mature and will benefit from their life experiences
3. Parents will be better established in their careers and typically have more income


Rapport talk

Women prefer rapport talk: the language of conversation; a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships


Report talk

Men prefer report talk: designed to give information, which includes public speaking


Women's Development

1. Women place high value on relationships and focus on nurturing connections with others
2. A large part of women’s lives is spent actively participating in the development of others
3. It is important for women to maintain their competency in relationships but to also be self-motivated
4. Critics argue that this view is too stereotypical


Role-strain view

Pleck’s role-strain view: male roles are contradictory and inconsistent
-Men experience stress when they violate men’s roles and when they act in accord with men’s roles; conflicted


Men experience considerable stress in

1. Health
2. Male-female relationships; evolving roles
3. Male-male relationships
-Men often lacking in father and male role model to balancecompetition & power with compassion & nurturing


Reconstructing Masculinity (Ron Levant, 2002)

1. Reexamine beliefs about manhood
2. Separate out the valuable aspects of the male role
3. Get rid of masculine roles that are destructive
4. Involves becoming more “emotionally intelligent”
-Becoming more emotionally self-aware
-Managing emotions more effectively
-Reading emotions better
-Being motivated to improve close relationships


Holland's Theory of Personality- Environment Types

1. By early adulthood each individual has a modal personal orientation – a typical and preferred style or approach to dealing with social and environmental tasks.
-Most can be classified as having one of six modal orientations
2. A job or career typically makes demands on an individual that are compatible with one or more of these interactive types.


Super's Developmental Approach

Describes the developmental processes that determine both the emergence of one’s vocational self-concept and the multiple factors that influence job choices over the life span.


Vocational self-concept

1. is a function of 2 things
-A person’s view of his or her personal or psychological characteristics
-How he or she assesses his life circumstances, such as the limits or opportunities created by economic conditions, socioeconomic status, family, friendships, and community
2. Series of life stages in the development of vocational self-concept and experience, beginning in childhood.


Growth stage

children are developing many elements of identity that will have a bearing on vocational self-concept, including ideas about their interests, attitudes, skills, and needs.


Exploratory Stage

adolescence to young adulthood, vocational self-concept is tentatively narrowed down, but often career choices are not finalized


Erikson- Importance of Industry

Both a belief in a child’s ability to master the skills and tolls needed to be productive and a sense of “the pleasure of work completion but steady attention and persevering diligence.”


Bandura’s “self-efficacy beliefs”

beliefs about our ability to exercise control over events that affect our lives


Mastery orientation

1. Orientations to failure
-Move forward optimistically even when they fail.
-Assume that they can succeed with further effort.
-Construe failure as a challenge rather than as an obstacle.
2. Likely to be incremental theorists


Helpless pattern

1. Another orientations to failure
-Begin to denigrate their abilities when they encounter failure and typically stop applying themselves or trying to improve their performance.
2. Likely to be entity theorists


Incremental theorists

seeing intelligence as a dynamic and malleable quality that can be increased by hard work and instruction


Entity theorists

See intelligence or ability as a fixed, concrete thing
-"You can only have a certain amount of it, so you'd better show that it's enough and you'd better hide it if it isn't."


Stereotype threat

Affecting self-efficacy for women and other minority group members
-Fear that a stereotype might be true or that one will be judged by that stereotype
-Increased stress and reduced performance


Job Crafting

One intriguing area of research on person-job fit explores how employees can actively improve fit by shaping their jobs to some extent
-Employees may initiate change in a number of different ways: by the kinds of tasks they choose or projects they launch, by negotiating with employers to modify job content, by proactively seeking feedback, by changing aspects of their jobs that involve relationships, and so on.


Vacational self-concept

Part of one's total identity
-Includes ideas about which qualities of the self would (or would not) provide a match to the requirements of an occupation
-Is a function of two things: first, a person's view of his personal or psychological characteristics, and second, how he assesses his life circumstances, such as the limits or opportunities created by economic conditions; by his socioeconomic status; by his family, friendship network, and community; and so on.



General vocational goals are formulated in the earlier part of this stage (crystallized), gradually leading to the identification of more specific vocational preferences (specification), and finally to the completion of education along with entry into full-time employment (implementation)


Establishment stage

1. From about 25 to 44, work experiences provide the laboratory within which the matching of vocational self-concept and job settings is tried out, sometimes reevaluated, sometimes confirmed, and eventually stabilized (stabilization)


Maintenance stage

1. From about 45 to 64
2. An individual makes ongoing adjustments to improve his work situation, often achieving more advanced status and seniority (consolidation)
3. If not, this can also be a time of increasing frustration with work.


Decline stage

1. Right before and after 65 for most people
2. The career winds down, with retirement planning and actual retirement taking precedence over career advancement and consolidation


Forgotten half

1. Name given by the William T. Grant Foundation Commission on Work, Family, and Citizenship (1988) to 18- to 24-year-olds who do not go to college.
2. These were just under half of the total young adult population in the United States in 1988.