Lecture 10 -> Attraction and the need to belong Flashcards
(26 cards)
Overview
The need to belong
The basics of interpersonal attraction
Physical attractiveness
Gender differences in attractiveness and sexual attitudes
The need to belong
How do we know we have an inerhent need to belong?
- the need to belong can be satisfied
- when the need too belong is satisfied, people thrive
Psychological meed:
- a mechanism for regulating behaviour to acquire the tangible or intangible resources necessary for survival and well-bering
- Hierarchy of needs
When the need to belong is unmet:
- mental and physical health decline
Need to belong is undermined by:
- loneliness
- social rejection
Increased loneliness during lockdown:
- lower self-control
- predictive of alcohol-related harm among younger adults
- linked to poorer health and mortality among older adults
Loneliness in the lab:
- computer programme
- throwing a ball
- experimental condition “other ppts” left out the ppt
- more likely to consume more alcohol when excluded than included or in the control condition
Why do we need to belong?
Evolutionary perceptive
- the motive to belong is universal
- behaviours seen in children worldwide
- rejection can hurt (e.g. take paracetamol, studies have shown that it can reduce emotional pain)
- reproduction is successful in stable, close relationships
The role of proximity
The propinquity effect
- relationship development requires physical closeness
Increasing familiarity (mere exposure effect)
- proximity leads to grater comfort and attraction
- only is stimulus/person is initially neutral or positive
The role of reward
Reward model of liking (conditioning)
- people oink others whom they associate with positive stimuli and dislike others whom they associate with negative stimuli
- people can also like or dislike someone simply because they happen to b around when they were feeling good or bad
Transference (Freud…)
- transferring feelings from someone you know to a new person who resembles that person in some way
Attraction as fulfilling needs
Attitude similarity
- strong determinant of attraction is similarity of attitudes
- sharing attitudes and interest validates our view of the world
- friends, lowers, spouses, etc tend to be similar in:
~ socioeconomic status
~ age
~ geographical location
~ ethnic identity
~ personality
The norm of reciprocity
- being liked is a strong initial factor in attraction
- people are more likely to like someone who likes them
- people anticipate rewards from those who like the
being liked by others bolsters self-esteem
- further fills psychological needs (Maslow)
Flattery
- humans often like people who flatter them
- flattery is not effective in an ulterior motive is obvious
- compliments and liking increase attraction ore if the person giving them out seems discriminating
Do opposites attract?
Highly masculine mend tend to prefer highly feminine women
We tend to prefer people who complement us (opposites) in terms of dominance and submissiveness and fiscal habits
Dissimilar others are attractive for short-term, low-commitment relationships; differences are novel and exciting
Strengths in different domains can help friendships
Physical attractiveness
Physical attractiveness
- can influence political decisions, popularity and dating frequency
- most important factor influencing whether there’s a second date
Why is physical attractiveness important?
- it is pleasant to look at attractive people (reward)
- it is the first attribute by which a person is identified
- contributes to sexual appeal
- inclfunced by culture/media
Todorov et al. (2005) chose pictures of politicians at random
- ppts rates on competent by one group and attractiveness in the other
- candidates who looked more competent were more likely to be chosen in doc election by another group of ppts
Physical attractiveness is the best indicator of swiping right on a dating app
Halo effect:
- assumption that people with one positive attribute (attractiveness) must have other positive traits
- cuter premature infants are treated better
- young children prefer attractive peers
- attractive babies get more attention into primary
- teachers view attractive children as more intelligent
- attractive defendants are less likely to be found guilty
Culture underpins importance of physical attractiveness
- images, stories, and interactions provide clear and simple message about good and ugly looking people
- role of media exposure
- variation between culture
The role averageness
The allure of “average” faces
- composite face is digital average of several faces
- the more real faces that are used to create the composite face, the more attractive a composite face is perceived
- evolutionary psychologists argue we are attracted to “average” faces because they indicate good health and maintained fertility
Gender differences
Women
- waist-to-hip ratio often studies
- 0.7 has remained constant across time, depicted in media
Men
- women prefer younger partner, large eyes, small nose, small chin, full lips, combined with features that signal maturity
- when women are ovulating, they prefer more masculine-faced, deep-voice, assertive, confident men
Women
- sex as part of emotionally intimate relationship
- ambivalent about sex
- less likely to regret not pursuing sex
- want sex later, less often
Men
- causal sex outside committed relationship
- cannot wait to lose virginity
- regret not pursuing sex
- want to begin sex sooner, more often
Issues with research on attraction
Often based in evolutionary perspective
- the size of observed gender differences can be small
- four on heterosexual and cisgender relationships
- often the research relies on self-report methods
- preconceived notions can alter interpretations
Overview of close relationships
Compontents of close relationships
What is love?
Cost-benefit perspectives on relationships
The time course of romantic relationships
Components of closeness
Interdependence
- a situation in which what each person does significantly influences what the partner does over long periods of time
Mutuality
- partners’ acknowledgment that their lives are intertwined and thinking of themselves as a couple (“us”) instead of as operate individuals
Commitment
- partner’s investment of time, effort, and rescues in their relationship, with the expectation that it will continue indefinitely
Other components
- knowledge
- caring
- trust
Relationships that include all six of these components are the most satisfying
Parasocial relationships
Relationships with people in the media
- celebrities, TV characters, athletes, podcast hosts
Can include
- knowing
- caring
- commitment
Importance of relationships
Costs of close relationships
- can be demanding
- may require sacrifice of personal desires or aspirations
- can be sources of stress, frustration and emotional pain
Benefits of close relationships
- facilitate day-to-day activities
- allow us to pool rescues and share labour
- provide advice and consolation
What is love?
Pope (1980): romantic love is preoccupation, deep desire, despair in operation and joy in reunion
Berscheid (2006): love is a strong, positive feeling we have toward someone/something we care deeply about
Fisher (2004): a beloved is focus of attention, feelings, desire, source of meaning and value; joy and despair
Neuroscientific research: increased activity of dopamine (reward) areas occurs when loved one is contemplated
Cultural influences
- what love looks like
- whom people love and when (e.g. marriage)
- how to act on feelings of romantic love
Cultures vary
- how love is associated with marriage (e.g. primary bases; arranges marriage)
Attachment theory:
- romantic relationships as source security
- original child-parent bonds affects subsequent close relationships
Terror management theory
- love and close relationships help us to buffer the dread of being aware of our mortality
Self-expansion model
- love relationships often are valuable paths to personal growth
Attachment theory
Three major forms of attachment are associated with particular patterns of child-maternal interaction
- secure ~ 60%
- anxious-ambivalent ~ 20%
- avoidant ~ 20%
Subsequent research confirms this general distribution of attachment styles which persist into adult relationships
This approach provides insight into how people’s attachment feelings relate to”
- view of romantic love
- approach to sex
- how their parents raised them
Relationships are more likely to be satisfying, stable and long-term with:
- secure attachment styles for both members
- anxious women and avoidant men
Attachment style stability
- considerable stability from infancy to adulthood
- can be altered by life experiences
Terror management theory
Romantic partners:
- help each other manage the threat of mortality by giving life meaning and reinforcing self-worth
- replace religion as the primary source of meaning and value, providing a sense of transcendence
- enhance self-wroth, validate worldview, and aid in managment of mortality concerns
- help in dealing with personal mortability by having children and thereby living in some way
Self-expansion model
Romantic relationships serve the desire to expand the self
The romantic partner is incorporated into and expands the self (e.g. self-schema)
History of close relationships
1700s to mid 1800s:
- marriage geared toward resolving practical concerns and meeting pragmatic goals
Mid 1800s to mid 1960s:
- breadwinner model dominated
Mid 1960s to present:
- marriage is forum for experiencing greater sense of life satisfaction and self-growth and actualisation
Course of romantic relationships
Self-disclosure
Rose-coloured lenses
Adjusting to interdepndecy
Martial satisfaction
Breakup?
Self-disclosure
Stimulus stage
- sharing small talk
Value stage
- sharing attitudes and beliefs
Role stage
- major life attitudes and plans
Levels of intimacy (lowest to highest)
- physical
- social
- emotional
- intellectual
- spiritual
Rose coloured lenses
People hope to heave a perfect romantic partner
- reality does not make this possible
To reduce dissonant feelings, an ideal perception of a romantic partner may occur (positive illusions)
- ignoring or discounting negatives of partner
Such positive perceptions can strengthen commitment
- if illusions are too positive, may result in heartbreak
Adjusting to interdependency
The beginning of a romantic relationship typically is marked by a rapid rise in satisfaction
Satisfaction levels off, adjusting to increasing interdependence
After turbulence, satisfaction increases at a gradual rate
- romantic love likely to dip at 27, as life views change
