Lecture 13-14: Communication Flashcards
Encoding
Sending Message
Decoding
Making inference/judgement
of the message.
STUDY: NOLLER; Encoding and Decoding in husbands vs. wives
- Wives were better encoders than husbands, especially when the messages were positive.
- However, women 60% of the time did not encode well.
- Men (90%) bad at encoding, specifically positive messages.
- Men who did well in the task reported being in more satisfying marriages.
Accuracy in Communication: NOLLER Encoding vs. decoding (In class excercise results)
- Noller had a separate group of participants observe the interactions and serve as decoders.
- If encoding problem, neither spouses nor strangers should be accurate.
- If decoding problem, spouses should be less accurate than others.
STUDY: NOLLER 1981; Are encoding and decoding partner abilities generalized to others?
- Married people served as decoders for
someone who was not their spouse. - Marital satisfaction & decoding abilities were unrelated!
- Unhappily married = problems decoding from spouses.
- Dissatisfied couples show differences is performance, not in skill; Those with low marital quality are worse at decoding their spouse than decoding strangers.
***EXAM QUESTION
STUDY: KLEIN AND HODGES 2001; Motivation or ability?
- 107 undergraduates (53 women, 54 men) all watched a video of a female discussing an academic problem.
- Completed empathic accuracy procedure.
- Three conditions:
~ Control condition.
~ Feedback condition - told they were going to be given feedback on their performance.
~ Money condition - told they would get $ 2 for every ‘correct’ response. - Found that women were more accurate, men did slightly belter when they think they are going to be evaluated, and men were most motivated by money, but women were still significantly better.
- Motivation (either being evaluated or receiving money) eliminates gender differences between men and women’s decoding.
- Extra motivation (money) makes people more accurate.
Empathic Accuracy
The ability to correctly infer another person’s thoughts and emotions.
STUDY: What do men and women find attractive?
- Male and female students interviewed by an attractive opposite-sex person for a potential date.
- Group 1: rated amount of time each
participant spent smiling, making direct eye contact, open body posture, tilting head, etc. - Group 2: rated each participant on 34
attributes representing five general
factors; Social Engagment/Dominance and interest/comfort/provacativness.
Women find attractive: Open body posture, more engaged/dominant, smiling.
Men find attractive: Smiling, eye contact, open body, head tilt, flirtacious glances.
Flirt Face
Scientifically proved to be most flirtatious.
- Eye contact, head tilt, smile.
Pick up lines?
- People generally prefer direct pick up lines.
- Opening lines that are intended to be cute
or flippant are consistently rated as the least appealing. - Women rate sexually loaded pickup lines
even more negatively than direct requests
for sex.
STUDY: CLARK AND HATFIELD 1989; Pick up lines in men vs. women
- Undergraduate confederate hired to
approach opposite sex peers on campus. - Script: I have been noticing you around
campus. I find you to be very attractive.
~ Condition 1: “Would you go out with me
tonight?”
~ Condition 2: “Would you come over to
my apartment tonight?”
~ Condition 3: Would you go to bed W me?
Found:
- Men more receptive than women to direct
requests for sex, whereas opposite for women.
Explaination: CLARK AND HATFIELD 1989; Pick up lines in men vs. women
Men more receptive than women to direct
requests for sex. Why?
- Evolution: men are more comfortable with
casual sex than women are.
- Socialization: women are socialized to be
sexually conservative.
- May have more to do with the gender of the proposer!
- Women perceive men who make sexual
propositions as more dangerous, more likely to have an STD, and less likely to pleasure them sexually, relative to now men
perceived women who offer them the same
propositions.
STUDY: MACNEIL AND BYERS 2009; Sexual disclosure in relationships
- 104 couples: mean relationship length 14.5
years, 84% married. - Given sexual self-disclosure questionnaire; how much have you told your partner about: The way you like to be kissed, touched, have intercourse, oral sex.
- Also rated sexual satisfaction.
- Found: Most couples don’t communicate about sex; partners only understood 62% of each others “likes” and “dislikes.”
Communication for Fornication: Direct vs. Indirect
How people communicate to initiate sex.
- Directly: Do you want to have sex?
- Indirectly: Are you sleepy?
Also use a lot of nonverbal communication.
- Start removing clothing, Touch a partner seductively, Lying on a bed, Initiate hugging & kissing.
- **Most happens non-verbally.
Benefits of Talking About Sex
- Couples who communicate well with one another about sex tend to feel happier about their sex lives, and happier about their relationship in general.
- Talking about sex = better feelings about relationship.
- Partners who reported more sexual self- disclosure reported greater sexual satisfaction.
Why Don’t Most People Communicate About Sex?
Not everyone finds it easy to communicate about sex.
- People may worry their partners may not share their preferences.
- May also believe discussing sex is unnecessary.
- Ashamed or embarrassed to admit their preferences.
- May be concerned about making partner feel inadequate.
Social Penetration Theory
Relationships develop through changes in communication.
As relationships develop:
- Increase breadth: the number of topics people talk about.
- Increase depth: the personal meaning of the topics they discuss.
Social Penetration Theory: Increase Breadth
The number of topics people talk about.
Social Penetration Theory: Increase Depth
The personal meaning of the topics they discuss.
Interpersonal Process Model of
Intimacy
- Just disclosing is not enough to build intimacy.
- People must be responsive - understanding, validating, and caring; encourages people to listen.
Communication Styles: Direct Positive
Rational Reasoning: Use and seek factual/accurate information, use logic and rational arguments, explain behaviour and POV, use logic/facts with reason.
- “I need you to stop spending money.”
Communication Styles: Indirect Positive
Soft Positive: Soften persuation attemps (minimize problem, point out partner’s strengths), encourage partner to explain their POV, validate partners views, use humour.
- “You work really hard, I just wish you had more time to spend with me.”
Communication Styles: Direct Negative
Coercion: Derogate partner (belittle, insult, criticize), threaten partner (withhold love), display negative affect (anger, irritation), acuse/blame partner.
Autocracy: Demand partner to think, behave, or feel a certain way, talk from position of authority, attempt to exert superiority.
- “I am and know better than you, you should feel and behave different.”
Communication Styles: Indirect Negative
Manipulation: Attempt to make partner feel guilty, remind them of past favours and their past transgressions, appeal to partner’s love and conern.
Supplication: Express emotional hurt (tears, pouting), debase self (portray self as less wroth than partner), ephasize negative consequences of situation for partner.
- “Your behaviour is killing me.”
