Lecture 19-20: Sex and Infidelity Flashcards
(28 cards)
Why is Sex Hard to Study?
- Unlike almost every other relationship construct, it cannot be directly observed.
- Mostly self-report; subject to individual inhibitions and social taboos. ( people may feel embarrassed).
- Very little experimental control; We cannot randomly assign sex conditions.
- Hard to discover whether sex causes certain things in relationships.
- Viewed as an important part of relationships, but not more important than other constructs.
Reasons for Sexual Decline
Habituation, children, getting older, satisfaction, religion.
Sexual Decline: Habituation
- Longer term relationships report less sexual desire and arousal.
- After establishing intimacy, you don’t need to do it anymore because you already have it.
- Repeated exposure, getting used to it, deleptes arousal to it.
Sexual Decline: Chidlren
- Pregnancy is uncomfortable and tiring.
- Reestablishing sexual intimacy less important to women after childbirth.
- Kids are exhausting (was sleep too tired divided attention.
Sexual Decline: Getting Older
- Aging; fragile, tired more.
- Very large factor.
STUDY: MACNEIL AND BYERS (2009); Communication and Sexual Satifaction
Found: Most couples don’t communicate about sex.
- Partners who reported more sexual self disclosure, also reported greater sexual satisfaction.
What Factors Predict Good Sex?
Relationship quality and actual sex.
Good Sex Predictors: Relationship Quality
- Happier couples more satisfied with sex.
- Feelings of love; Attachment security; Commitment.
Good Sex Predictors: Actual Sex
Sexual satisfaction derived from:
- More frequent sex.
- Greater variety of sexual activity.
- Occurrence and consistency of orgasm (especially female).
- Communicating about sex (reciprocity in initiating, acceptance; disclosure.
STUDY: Why Do People Have Sex?
- Each day, p’s indicated: Relationship well-being (feelings of closeness, satisfaction, conflict) and Sexual behaviour.
- Motives for sex: approach motives, avoidance motives.
- Found: When people had sex for approach-motivated reasons, they experienced more satisfaction, closeness, and less conflict; When they had sex for avoidance- motivated reasons, they experienced less satisfaction, closeness, and more conflict.
Motivations for Sex: Approach Sexual Motives
Aimed toward obtaining positive outcomes.
- “To pursue my own sexual pleasure.”
- “To feel good about myself.”
- “To please my partner.”
Motivations for Sex: Avoidance Sexual Motives
Aimed toward avoiding negative outcomes.
- “To avoid conflict in my relationship.”
- “To prevent my partner from becoming upset.”
- “To prevent my partner from losing interest in me.”
Predictors of Hooking-Up
- More alcohol use.
- More previous hook up experience (particularly positive experiences).
- Less relationship awareness (e.g., “I usually weigh the pros and cons before allowing myself to take the next step in relationships.”)
- Religiosity.
- Gender (52% of women, 68% of men..).
- Loneliness.
Consequences of Hooking-Up
Condom use
- Women who reported greater condom use reported fewer positive emotions and more negative emotions.
- Men’s condom use did not predict positive emotions, but associated with fewer negative emotions.
- Used condoms make women think their partner doesn’t want intimacy.
Alcohol
- More alcohol use associated with fewer positive and more negative emotions.
STUDY: KRUGER ET AL., 2013; Infidelity: What is Cheating?
- Gave participants each of the 27 items and asked them to rate to what extent it constituted cheating.
- Most representative: penile-vaginal intercourse (m=97.7).
- Least representative: giving $ 5 to other person (m=8.1).
STUDY: YARAB, SENSIBAUGH, AND ALLGEIER, 1998; What is Cheating Cont.
- Asked people to list as many behaviours as they could that might be considered “unfaithful” if they or their primary partner engaged in them in a dating relationship.
- Found: General agreement on what defines cheating. some ambiguity for less commonly sided behaviours.
STUDY: DRIGOTAS, SAFSTROM, AND GENTILITY, 1999; How Many People Cheat?
- Study 1:14 men, 60 women, all exclusive
daters; Completed infidelity questionnaire. - 72% of people reported emotional infidelity; 48% reported physical infidelity.
Prevalence of Infidelity: Good and Bad News
Bad News:
- Rates of cheating relatively high.
- Despite the fact that it’s hard to get accurate estimates due to self-report biases.
- People don’t want to admit, cheating.
- Also maybe differences in how one finds cheating.
Good News?
- No gender differences.
- The most extreme behaviours are at least common.
STUDY: Cheating Among Married Couples; What Did They Find?
Cheating is less common among married
couples than dating couples.
Predictors of Cheating: Three Factors
Demographic factors.
Interpersonal factors.
Personality factors.
Demographic Factors of Cheating
- GENDER: Most commonly studied, men tend to report cheating more than women in early studies, but more recent studies show no differences.
- RELIGIOUSITY: Routinely found as predictor of infidelity, people report being more religious tend to cheat less.
- EDUCATION: Highly educated individuals more likely to report infidelity than less educated individuals.
- INCOME: Individuals with higher income, more prone to infidelity, likely have more opportunities to do so.
Interpersonal Predictors of Cheating
- Relationship quality: Low marital satisfaction associated in many studies with infidelity.
- Commitment: Less committed people more likely to cheat. Because they are less satisfied have higher quality of alternatives and less investment.
STUDY: BUSS AND SHACKELFORD, 1997; Who Is Most Likely To Cheat?
- 107 newlywed couples completed a number of personality measures for themselves and their partners.
- Asked to indicate how likely it was that they would engage in 6 types of cheating behaviour in the next year: Flirting, passionately kissing, date, etc.
Self predictors:
- Narcissism
- Conscientiousness (negative).
- Impulsivity low self-control.
Partner predictors:
- Partner, sexualizing others (commenting on others attractiveness).
- Partner is jealous and possessive.
- Partner withhold sex.
- Partner, abuses alcohol.
Contextual predictors:
- Marital dissatisfaction.
- Sexual dissatisfaction
Cues for Physical Infidelity
- Physical evidence - e.g., partner contracts STI, partner smells like sex.
- Partner gets caught or admits it.
- Partner becomes uninterested in sex.
- Partner changes normal routine (clothes, diet, sleep).
- Partner displays more sexual interest than normal; acts overly affectionate.
