Midterm Part 2

Question 1

What do we want? What is the content? Different ideas about what to do, what decisions to make, where to go, how to allocate resources.
Ex: securing a student loan, more free time, a clean apartment, fashionable clothing, a different job

Answer 1

Topic or content goals

Question 2

Who are we to each other? How do we want to be treated? Define how each party wants to be treated by the other and the amount of interdependence they desire.
ex: I won’t put up with that kind of abuse, I want to be included on projects that affect me.

Answer 2

Relational goals

Question 3

Who am I in this interaction? When it becomes and issue people are less flexible and engage in destructive moves; driver of disputes
Ex: competent, best friend, likeable, responsible, well-organized, trustworthy

Answer 3

Identity or face saving goals

Question 4

What communication process will be used? People often disagree about how to formally or informally conduct a conflict.
Ex: giving each one equal talk time, person decide secret ballot, voting, consensus

Answer 4

Process goals

Question 5

What are TRIP goals?

Answer 5

TOPIC
RELATIONAL
IDENTITY
PROCESS

Question 6

Goals or intentions someone has BEFORE the conflict begins

Answer 6

Prospective goals

Question 7

Goals or intentions someone has During the conflict

Answer 7

Transactive goals

Question 8

Goals or interactions that emerge AFTER the conflict is over

Answer 8

Retrospective goals

Question 9

Image restoration Techniques

Answer 9

Denial
Shift the Blame
Provocation
Defeasibility
Accident
Good Intention
Bolstering
Minimization
Differentiation
Transcendence
Attack Accuser
Compensation
Corrective Action
Mortification

Question 10

I didn’t do that thing. Small child does this…
Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky

Answer 10

Denial

Question 11

We blame someone else.
Who drank my milk out of the refrigerator? I didn’t do it. Johnny did it!

Answer 11

Shifting the blame

Question 12

Scapegoating; We say we were involved, but only as a defense that someone did something to us first, so we had to do it.

Answer 12

Provocation

Question 13

We had lack of information or control.

Answer 13

Defeasibility

Question 14

It wasn’t my fault because something happened outside of me.
The alarm clock, the car, the computer had a problem that didn’t allow me to finish my responsibility

Answer 14

Accident

Question 15

We were trying to do something good; we thought the act would help
Ex: You made your sister cry because you took something away from her that you thought might hurt her.

Answer 15

Good Intention

Question 16

Tell people all the good things we’ve done to help other people.
Ex: Bill Clinton, after it was discovered he lied about Monica L. he related all of the positive things that were going on in the US and assumed responsibility for them.

Answer 16

Bolstering

Question 17

It’s not that bad; You’re making a mountain out of a molehill. Things will get better in a couple of days, don’t worry about it ya know?

Answer 17

Minimization

Question 18

To distinguish the act from a less desirable act;
Ex: Assisted suicide, we’re not killing someone, we’re allowing them to die with dignity

Answer 18

Differentiation

Question 19

Place the act in a different context; make it more palatable, more acceptable in our minds.
Ex: There is murder, which naturally is bad, but murder is taking the life of someone who wants to live. Assisted suicide, we’re allowing someone to die with dignity

Answer 19

Transcendence

Question 20

Make the person who is accusing us look worse than we are by attacking them.
Ex: Bill Clinton, gov’t hired independent investigator Ken Starr and clinton aids began attacking him saying he wasn’t very credible.

Answer 20

Attack accuser

Question 21

Offer payment for the person to stop pestering us, or stop accusing us of what we are doing wrong.
Ex: Michael Jackson was accused and settle out of court.

Answer 21

Compensation

Question 22

Trying to restore the situation to its original state.
Ex: If I break the lamp, I just don’t give them money to replace the lamp, I go and replace the lamp, and I try to find one exactly like the one that I broke.

Answer 22

Corrective action

Question 23

We admit our guilt and ask for forgiveness.
Ex: Alma the younger, once he realized he had done wrong he went around doing all he could to repair the damage he’d done, and part of that was to tell the people he was wrong and that he realized it.

Answer 23

Mortification

Question 24

Designated (power given by your position, i.e. supervisor, parent, president)
Integrative (both/and–each party has to achieve something in the relationship
Distributive (either/or–power over or against the other party

Answer 24

Three definition of power clusters (DID)

Question 24

Designated (power given by your position, i.e. supervisor, parent, president; power we give to someone)
Integrative (both/and–each party has to achieve something in the relationship; shared power)
Distributive (either/or–power over or against the other party; either you have the power or I do)

Answer 24

Three definition of power clusters (DID)

Question 25

Power is a property of the social relationships, a product of the communication relationships; based on one’s dependence on resources or currencies that another person controls, or seems to possess

Answer 25

Relational Theory

Question 26

Resource control
Interpersonal linkages
Communication skills
Expertise

Answer 26

RICE Powers

Question 27

Often comes with one’s formal position in an organization or group. An example is the controlling of rewards or punishments such as salary, number of hours worked, or firing. Parents control resources such as money, freedom, cars, and privacy for teenagers.;( About what we have, what we possess that gives us power)

Answer 27

Resource Control

Question 28

Your position in the larger system, such as being central to the communication exchange. If you are a liaison person between two factions, serve as a bridge between two groups that would otherwise not have information about each other, or have a network of friends who like each other, you have linkage currencies.

A set of currencies dependent on your interpersonal contacts and network of friends and supporters.; power because of who we know more than what we know; ability to network or bridge what you know to other people and things.

Answer 28

Interpersonal linkages

Question 29

Conversational skills, persuasive ability, listening skills, group leadership skills, the ability to communicate caring and warmth, and the ability to form close bonds with others all contribute to interpersonal power.All people need to be related to others, to matter to others, and to be understood by others. Those who communicate well gain value and thus interpersonal power.

AKA Referent power, that a person has sort of charisma.

Answer 29

Communication skills

Question 30

Special knowledge, skills, and talents that are useful for the task at hand. Being an expert in a content area such as budget analysis, computer skills, fixing houses, or local knowledge of real estate choices gives you power when others need your expertise

Answer 30

Expertise

Question 31

Dialogue
Restaint
Interdependence
Calm persistence
Stay actively engaged
Empowerment of low-power by high-power
Metacommunication

Answer 31

Techniques for balancing power

Question 32

conversation is one of the most important ways of establishing equality

Productive conversation involves: speaking to the other with a positive tone, listening, reflect feelings, clarify what you’ve heard, question when needed, summarize

Answer 32

Dialogue

Question 33

high power parties limit their power by refusing to use all the currencies they have

Answer 33

Restraint

Question 34

Lower-power individuals can highlight the parties dependencies as a way to balance power; when two people elevate their dependence on each other, both increase their sources of power

Answer 34

Interdependence

Question 35

Lower power people gain nuisance value if they have patience and avoid giving up out of frustration; when power is unequal, seldom comes about through intense, angry confrontation

Answer 35

Calm Persistence

Question 36

Remaining in a low-power position, assuming your weakness is permanent, and using destructive tactics benefits no one, not even the high power person.

speak up and present a balanced picture of strengths and weaknesses, make clear one’s beliefs, values, and priorities are, then keep behavior congruent with these; stay emotionally connected to significant others even when things get intense, state differences and allow others to do the same

Answer 36

Stay actively engages

Question 37

Higher-power groups or individual purposely enhance the power of lower-power groups or individuals

Answer 37

Empowerment

Question 38

being verbally explicit about the communication; talking about the relationships or about how the parties will handle their conflict, parties can agree about behaviors that will not be allowed.

Answer 38

Metacommunication

Question 39

*Balancing power requires courage and creativity. It requires a certain individual power to be effective people, maximize our abilities, opportunities and use resources to be able to lead the lives we desire. Yet, in relationships, we have to find a balance through productive and creative ways or risk destroying the relationship.

Answer 39

paradox of power

Question 40

accommodation
avoidance
collaboration
competitive
compromise

Answer 40

5 main conflict styles

Question 41

AKA obliging; willing to do a service or kindness, helpful, you oblige to the other’s needs; the individual sets aside his or her concerns in favor of pleasing the other people involved.

Answer 41

Accomodation

Question 42

Denial of the conflict, changing and avoiding topics, being noncommittal, and joking rather than dealing with the conflict at hand. In collectivistic cultures, avoidance represents indirect working through but in individualistic cultures, avoidance represents indirect escalation.

Don’t bring up an issue to people directly, but spend time talking about them to others

A tactic where the emotional content is acknowledged, and the parties defer the other issues to a later time

Ex: not speaking/remaining quiet; refusing to answer; deflecting or changing the topic; talking in abstract terms, physically leaving, joking, smiling or laughing, asking questions about something else, supplying irrelevant information

Answer 42

avoidance

avoid/criticize loop

postponement

Question 43

AKA Integrating. Shows a high level of concern for one’s own goals, the goals of others the successful solution of the problem, and the enhancement of the relationships. Involves not a moderate level of concern for goals but a high level of concern for them. It is an invitation to the other’s so the two of you can reach a joint resolution.

Conflict does not conclude until both parties are reasonably satisfied making the relationship better; involves making descriptive and disclosing statements and soliciting reactions from the other party.

Ex: I like to assert myself, and I also like to cooperate with others.

Answer 43

collaboration

Question 44

Supportive remarks (I can see why that is difficult–we have all been ganging up on you
Concessions (Ok, I agree I need to find new ways to deal with this problem
Acceptance of responsibility (Yes, I have been acting uncooperatively lately)

These tactics move the conflict into a third dimension where partners neither avoid nor blame but deal with the conflict as a joint problem to be solved. Tacts are associated with successful conflict management.

Answer 44

Collaborative tactics

Question 45

AKA Dominating. Power over style characterized by aggressive and uncooperative behavior–pursuing your own concerns at the expense of another. Attempt to gain power by direct confrontation, by trying to win the argument without adjusting to the other’s goals and desires. Winning is the goal.

Most commonly used dominating tactic is a threat (Do you homework or your grounded!)

Answer 45

competitive

Question 46

An intermediate style resulting in some gains and some losses for each party; moderately assertive and cooperative; Give a little and get a little; requires creative solutions and flexibility

Ex: tactics-fairness (I gave in last time, now it is your turn”), split the difference (I have come down $10k and if you would come down by a similar amount, we could complete the sale), change roles ( you did it last time, now it is my turn to lead), meet in the middle (We both have to give something to get something–I suggest a middle ground), temporary solution (Since we don’t have time to work out all the details, how about we agree on all the major points and set a time for working on the rest.)

Answer 46

compromise

Question 47

A form of communication violence; rather than using a threat or warning, you attack the self-concepts of the other; character attacks (you are just a rotten wife), insults (well, I suppose someone with your intelligence would see it that way), rough teaching, ridicule, and profanity; common in individualistic cultures;

a precursor to and predictor of physical aggression in adolescents and in marriage and other romantic relations.

Answer 47

Verbal aggression/Verbal abuse

Question 48

Ongoing, persistent badgering, harassment and psychological terrorizing…that demoralizes, dehumanizes and isolates those targeted; can occur in any social setting, including the internet.

Usually begins as incivility or consequence of unmanaged incivility, rudeness and injustice

Women are affected more than men; most are bosses (72 percent)

Answer 48

Bullying

Question 49

Any verbal or physical strategy that attempts to convince control, or compel others to your point of view; occurs when conflict interactions move beyond threats to verbal abuse and verbal aggressiveness.

Ex: throwing something at someone, twisting arm or hair, push or shove, break bones, used force like hitting, holding down, or using a weapon, grabbed, choking, kicking, etc.

Answer 49

Violence

Question 50

Meets two criteria: the source of the threat must control the outcome and it must be seen as negative by the recipient. (Touch those cans again or I’ll lock you in the trunk of the car!)
vs
If the source does not control the outcome (If you don’t get your paper in on time, it will hurt your grade.)

Answer 50

Threat vs Warning
- & -

Question 51

If the source controls the outcome and the recipient sees the outcome as positive, the threat is…

Answer 51

Promise vs Recommendation
+ & +

Question 52

The idea that people change their communication style based on the demands of different situations. Those who can change and adapt.

Five communication characteristics:
Comfortable altering their roles in response to the behaviors of others
Avoid stylizing their communication behavior, so they are able to adapt
Develop skills to deal with different audiences and are able to withstand the pressure and ambiguity of constant adaptation.
Are able to monitor talk with others to make it purposive rather than expressive. They speak not so much to spill their guts as to solve problems
Adapt and alter behaviors in a rational and orderly way.

Answer 52

Rhetorical sensitivity

Question 53

Wholeness, Organization, Patterning

Answer 53

Systems Analysis of Conflict

Question 54

If a conflict were a car with a problem…
The mechanic would look at hte car type. Is it prone to certain types of problems?

We must look at the entire system, not just a collection of individual behaviors. Every individual is embedded within a relational system.

Answer 54

Wholeness

Question 55

If a conflict were a car with a problem…
The mechanic would look at specific parts—tires, engine, hoses

It is true that the unit is made up of individuals, but it functions as a unit. Each unit has its own patterns of…what is the overall picture?

Answer 55

Organization

Question 56

If a conflict were a car with a problem…
The mechanic would look for patterns. If the driver does______then_______.

What patterns seems connected. What patterns are predictable, and what functions do these patterns serve?

Answer 56

Patterning

Question 57

If you experience a conflict with John and you talk to Julia about it, you are participating in a ____?

Answer 57

Conflict triangle

Question 58

This forms when some are closer to each other than they are to others. A private bond emerges.

Ex: In a family, you may be the outsider, the last to hear of important family events.; groups are work that work together and exclude other groups

Answer 58

Coalition

Question 59

A set of unstated but very powerful behaviors that limit genuine change; sometimes no matter what content is being discussed, the outcome is the same. They are the way things are done, in a family, a business, a department, or a group of friends; a followable prescription that indicates what behavior is obligated preferred, or prohibited in certain contexts.

When in context X, Y must/must not occur
When Father shows sadness or anger, Mother must soothe him

Answer 59

Interaction Rules

Question 60

Repetitive loops of observable interpersonal behaviors…with a redundant outcome. Similar to rules, but are descriptive, not prescriptive, of behavior. Clusters of behaviors organized into structurally repetitive
episodes.

Answer 60

Microevents