Partridge Flashcards
(1 cards)
“Jet from Gladiators to host a millennium barn dance at Yeovil aerodrome. Properly policed. It must not, repeat not, turn into an all-night rave.”
“No offence, Lynn, but your life is technically not worth insuring.”
“Actually, Chris Rea lives in the area. I could have had him over. ‘Alright Chris!’, ‘Hello Alan I didn’t know you’d moved in’, ‘Yeah, just moved in, last week. I’m having a barbecue, fancy coming over?’, ‘I’d love to! Do you mind if I bring my guitar?’, ‘I’d rather you didn’t, it’s not that kind of area. Do you like Mini Kiev’s?’, ‘I love them! But my wife’s vegetarian’, ‘Doesn’t matter. She can have fish’, ‘No she won’t eat that either’, ‘Oh forget it!. You people’.”
Very nice. Like little tears, little wax tears dripping from your ears because they’re sad. Don’t cry ears, you’re on the side of a lovely head!
I just hate the general public.
‘Swallow’ A detective series based in Norwich. Swallow is a detective who tackles vandalism. Bit of a Maverick, not afraid to break the law if he thinks it’s necessary – he’s not a criminal – but he will, perhaps, travel at 80 miles an hour on the motorway if, for example he wants to get somewhere quickly. No one had heard of Oxford before ‘Inspector Morse’. This will put Norwich on the map.
Guess which one of you two ladies I’m gonna make love to now?
The temperature inside this apple turnover is over 1000 degrees. If I squeeze it, a jet of molten bramley apple will squirt out. Could go your way; could go mine. Either way, one of us is going down!
Certainly enough room to swing a tiger in here isn’t there? Wouldn’t want to though – unless it’d been stunned. Even then it’s going to weigh the best part of a tonne.
You are a big posh sod with plums in your mouth, and the plums have mutated and they have got beaks. You make pigs smoke. You feed beef burgers to swans. You have big sheds, but nobody’s allowed in. And in these sheds you have 20ft high chickens, and these chickens are scared because they don’t know why they’re so big, and they’re going, ‘Oh why am I so massive?’ and they’re looking down at all the little chickens and they think they’re in an aeroplane because all the other chickens are so small. Do you deny that? No, I think his silence speaks volumes
Can I just shock you? I like wine
“Depending on your point of view, Bernard Matthews is either responsible for the biggest ornithological genocide of recent times or he’s the greatest farmyard to table strategist of the last one hundred years.”
