Questions and Responses Flashcards
She talks to another guy:
You: “Stop trying to make jealous!” [sarcastic]
You: “Are you cheating on me?”
She touches you in any way
You: “Whoa, are your hands clean?”
She has a similar interest as you:
Her: “I love golf too!”
You: “That’s so cool! Even if I didn’t slightly consider dating you I’d still hang out with you.”
She’s staring at you in the bar:
I know, I know. I look familiar. I’ve heard that one before.
You should talk to me if you’re going to stare at me
Staring contest, Go!
She opens you:
You: “Is that your pickup line?”
You: “Did you come over just to flirt with me?”
Her: “You’re too young for me.” [and she’s also young]
You: “Girls age faster than guys. Models peak at 17 and are past their prime at 19. You’re 21, meaning you’re way over the hill.”
Her: “You’re too young for me.” [and she’s older]
You: “You’re so right, most older women can’t keep up with me but I am a good escort up and down stairs. Let me know when you need me to walk you to your car.” “Well you’re practically a senior citizen. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m an active guy and I’m not sure that you could handle me with your cane and all. I should introduce you to my grandfather.”
Her: “How tall are you?”
Are you asking an innocent question to find out something naugty about me? (point down).
If she’s tall:
You: “6’2. But my mom’s only 5’2 and she wants me to date shorter girls.”
If she’s short:
You: “6’2. But my mom’s only 5’2, like you, and she always wants me dating shorter girls, so therefore I date tall girls.”
Her: “What nationality are you?”
You: “Native American but don’t be afraid when I act like a savage with you ;) [or whatever you are], but sorry my mom only lets me dates other true red-blooded americans” (she might respond “I am a quarter Native American!” to which you could then get into the boyfriend/girlfriend frame and say “Oh we’re perfect for each other” then to the other friend “Don’t we make a cute couple?” as you hug the original target).
Her: “I like your shirt/pants”
You: “Thank you. But just because you like my shirt/pants doesn’t mean they’re coming off.”
Her: “Where are you from?”
You: “your innermost fantasy”. “Heaven” “Obviously not the trailer park that you’re from” [only if she’s a 9 or 10 and you already have some attraction]. “Kentucky/Owensboro, but you can’t come home with me. My Mom doesn’t like fast women.”
Her: “What do you ultimately want to do?”
You: “Be a stay at home husband. So you better be smart.”
Her: “What do you do?”
You: “Why would I spoil the facebook stalking you’re going to conduct later?”
If she buys you a drink:
You: “Did you put roofies in my drink?” “Did you spit in my drink? No. Ok, no worries, I just wanted to know if we were going to swap spit now or later.” Or “I don’t need beer goggles to find you attractive.”
Her: “You’re not drinking anything tonight?”
You: “No, girls take advantage of me when I drink.”
Her: “I need a drink”
You: “I’ll play you a game for who buys first round.” 5 Question bar bet.
Her: “I have a boyfriend”
You: “I have a math test tonight.” “What?” Oh, I thought we were talking about things we were going to cheat on later.” “Who, me? I mean we just met, but okay.” “And I have a goldfish. So what?”
Her: “How old are you?”
You: “Is age just a number to you or is it right up there with what car I drive?” “I want you to guess. If you’re within 4 years I’ll buy you a drink.”
If she’s singing along to the music:
You: “Who sings this song?”
Her: “……….”
You: “Oh really? You should probably let them sing it.”
She gives you LMR:
You: “You’re right, we should stop. I’d rather you think about this all day tomorrow than getting everything you truly want right now.
She says something you don’t like or opposite your preference:
You [text]: “We are so broken up? I want my CD’s back.”
She bumps into something:
You: “I hope you didn’t hurt the table/chair/my elbow” “Stop thinking about our future, stay with me in the present.”
She gives you serious attitude:
You: “I kind of have a thing for feisty girls – we’re so getting married in Vegas tomorrow.”
She’s unusually young:
You: “Do your parents know where you are?”
