Red Flags - Andrea

Question 1

cue to start

Answer 1

You guys will never guess what just happened to me!

Question 2

Yeah, what. Don’t tell me you-

Answer 2

I found the love of my life!

Question 3

Really? That’s surprising

Answer 3

Yeah! He just doesn’t know he’s the love of my life yet. That’s the only issue.

Question 4

Girl what?

Answer 4

Yeah!

Question 5

So he doesn’t know he’s, who even is this?

Answer 5

Chad Chaddington! We’ve been talking, he’s literally the hottest guy on campus.

Question 6

Okay but isn’t he also the biggest a-hole on campus

Answer 6

No! He’s just misunderstood

Question 7

How did it go when you talked to him?

Answer 7

well…

Question 8

… I would low-key die for you

Answer 8

He’s so skibbidi

Question 9

I’m the manliest man you’ll ever find

Answer 9

He is so charming and matcho right? Also I once asked him to get me a class of water and he said-

Question 10

Because nothing ever goes wrong on tinder

Answer 10

Let me speak! He’s really sweet and he said he’s famous! He’s like a rapper or smth!

Question 10

… your the woman

Answer 10

Like he said, I have limbs and he would only know that is he looks at me a lot and memorizes my features like that! he even noticed my expertise in cooking! He just, gets me!

Question 11

You said you had other options, what about them?

Answer 11

fine. Oh there is another guy I’ve been chatting with on tinder!

Question 12

And how was the text conversation?

Answer 12

Well I said “Oh my gosh I’m so in love with you” and he said…

Question 12

What’s his name?

Answer 12

He said his name is D. Piddy

Question 13

And you’ve never met him?

Answer 13

No, just texted. and a voice chat or two!

Question 14

… Gorgeous woman?

Answer 14

So I said yes and sent him five grand

Question 15

You did what????

Answer 15

I sent him money! anyways then he said…

Question 16

… expensive nowadays. Ya know?

Answer 16

To which I replied yes again because I don’t mind being a sugar mama

Question 16

Tell me you didn’t send D. Piddy the money

Answer 16

No, not yet!

Question 16

Thank God, how much did he ask for?

Answer 16

Only 110,00 dollars

Question 17

Girl a plane ticket does not cost that much?!

Answer 17

I know but he asked like such a gentleman, he said…

Question 18

I didn’t do anything wrong tho… other than a few criminal cases

Answer 18

enough! he is not cheating me out of my money and his name is hot!

Question 19

He’s literally asking for money then not visiting you.

Answer 19

Well, maybe he is but I have two more options anyways.

Question 20

Dear god

Answer 20

Okay so there’s this one guy who is pretty rich and loves animals, I met him in person and I think he could really support me and a family financially!

Question 21

Yeah, what are his hobbies?

Answer 21

He's actually so quirky and not like other guys, He doesn't like sports or any of the basic manly stuff, he likes collecting and gathering!

Question 22

Collecting and gathering what?

Answer 22

Like a bunch of useful stuff people just toss out. Like half eaten yogurts and old, moldy cardboard school projects. He's an environmentalist really! Very one mans trash is another mans treasure core!

Question 23

What did he say to you?

Answer 23

Well I asked him where he gets his materials and he said-

Question 24

Does he smell bad?

Answer 24

Yah, but hes perfect in every other way so I can look past it!

Question 25

Wait the 9th? How many racoons has this guy had?

Answer 25

I don know, he just loves animals!

Question 26

... off the table we are not doing this today

Answer 26

Whyyyyyyyy

Question 27

What is the last option?

Answer 27

Okay so this last guys is like so hot its unreal. Like hotter than Ryan Reynolds or Theo James!

Question 28

That's a streatch

Answer 28

No you don't understand!

Question 29

Help us understand then!

Answer 29

He's already been with so many ladies he's definetly sought after too

Question 31

And what happened with them?

Answer 31

Strangely enough, none of them were ever heard from again.

Question 32

WHAT-

Answer 32

I'm sure they're fine he has the materials to protect them from danger. so yeah I'm sure they're okay, he seems like the protective type.

Question 33

Wdym by has the materials?

Answer 33

I saw he had knives and ropes in the back of his car!

Question 34

again, WHAT

Answer 34

He also has guns and what seems like women's clothes, he must keep memories of his past relationships! how romantic!

Question 35

have you talked to him yet?

Answer 35

Yeah! He was kind of playing hard to get tho, but he's really creative in his pursuits!

Question 36

How so?

Answer 36

Well I asked him if I was pretty and he said-

Question 37

And your blood is probably a decent shade of red...

Answer 37

So dreamy right!?He has such a way with words, I think he was an English major or something. he's such a poet how romantic.

Question 37

I think he's trying to kill you

Answer 37

I mean a man like that? he can stab me all he wants

Question 38

You would look kind of ugly on my wall tbh

Answer 38

Like nobody has ever said that about me before!

Question 39

What did you just say?

Answer 39

Yeah, he's just so mysterious, have you seen the size of his knife?

Question 40

It's perfectly average if you ask me, I mean once you get to know me that's all you really care abt right?

Answer 40

Like okay I like living on the edge but he's just so, unique its like we were made for each other!

Question 41

So your fine with him being a killer?

Answer 41

Well those are just allegations, nothings confirmed yet so I think he's still a good person

Question 42

... What if he kills you next?

Answer 42

Look if you got to meet him you would know he would never kill anyone and he just looks like he would with his white van and location always off on his phone, but like I respect a boundaries king!

Question 43

... people who look hot

Answer 43

he has such a kind soul, come on just meet him i'm sure you'll love him!

Question 44

What are these for?

Answer 44

Well we love the element of surprise, he wouldn't let me come over if I didnt break in myself! Duh!

Question 44

No I am not going to a serial killer's house!

Answer 44

Please just give him a shot! here take these!

Question 45

SEE ANDREA HES OBVI A KILLER

Answer 45

Stop being so judgemental, hes a performance artist too!

Question 46

.. your sisters?

Answer 46

Yeah these are my sisters, they wanted to meet you!

Question 47

Well that's good enough for me!

Answer 47

Woah man that's not cool

Question 48

Huh?

Answer 48

hey I think we should probably break up, killing my sisters is a little far so either we break up or you kill me too

Question 49

Yeah lets just break up okay?

Answer 49

Oh, okay I guess that works too

Question 50

what?

Answer 50

I mean why don't you want to kill me too?

Question 51

Because like your face wouldn't match the collection's aesthetic!

Answer 51

How come! put me next to the collection so you can see if I'll match!

Question 52

yeah I don't think you match the vibe.

Answer 52

Okay that is it we are over!