Soapies Tragedy

Question 1

WILBURT: Whoa, dude…is Lil Iggy…alright?

Answer 1

I don’t know, dude…he isn’t breathing. Is that, like, a condition or something?

Question 2

LIL GERARD: What is WRONG with you, DUDE!? Call 911, maybe?! God, why is that the first thing on your mind as Iggy is lying dead in front of you!? NINE. ONE. ONE!

Answer 2

Hey man, this is tough for all of us. (wipes fake tears away). Wilburt just lost his toughest skateboarding enemy EVER!

Question 3

LIL GERARD: Don’t disrespect him on this tragic day, my #1 slime just died.

Answer 3

Either way, I mean, Iggy WAS a stupid show-off, but this is still, like, sad n’ stuff.

Question 4

LIL GERARD: Shut up, Crystal.

Answer 4

I TOLD YOU IT’S CRYS-TAHL, not Chrystil!

Question 5

LIL GERARD: Ok. That was actually pretty nice, shawty. PLEASE, GOD, SOMEONE CALL NINE ONE FREAKIN ONE, THOUGH! THIS AIN’T THE FUNERAL SCENE YET! MY DUDE IS, LIKE, ACTIVELY DYING! (LIL IGGY makes dying noises)

Answer 5

WOAH, WHAT THE FREAK? I THOUGHT HE WAS ALREADY DEAD!

Question 6

LIL GERARD: (Sobbing) Crystal, if you don’t call 911, I’ll throw a boulder at you mid kick-flip.

Answer 6

(Sassily) Wow, ok. First of all, kindness. Second of all- (Guiltily pulling out her phone)-yeah, I’ll go call 911.

Question 7

LIL GERARD: What do you mean?? No, he isn’t?? He was just- (breaks down)

Answer 7

The cops should be on their way now. I think I deserve a thank you for saving the day. (She tosses her hair)

Question 8

LIL GERARD: After all of these shreds, why does this have to be the one that takes you away from me? (sobs)

Answer 8

(Patting LIL GERARD on the back) Dude, it’ll be okay, there’s plenty of ollie-ing fish in the sea, don’t worry about it .

Question 9

LIL GERARD: What? But you had so much good advice earlier! You’re just gonna leave me here?

Answer 9

Yeah, bro we got a race to win, and with your team out, which was our biggest competitors, we surely have the win in the bag now

Question 10

LIL GERARD: What?!

Answer 10

You really thought we cared enough about you to lose this race? (She laughs but then stops because she realizes it might be offensive) Nah that’s kinda sad, not gonna lie

Question 11

LIL GERARD: NOOOOOOOOOOO you can just leave me here like this!

Answer 11

C’mon don’t be a baby

Question 12

WILBURT: Hey no need to get all emotional bro

Answer 12

Yeah don’t crash out on us man

Question 13

(LIL GERARD starts hyperventilating)

Answer 13

Uhhh dude? Are you alright?

Question 14

FINAL SCENE: WILBURT: I’ve never seen someone perform so many kick-flips back to back. His aura was unstoppable

Answer 14

After we won that comp I think that Lil Iggy may have been the best skateboarder you guys had. I can’t believe it took me this long to realize that…

Question 15

LIL GERARD: Watch it bro don’t make me break an axel I just got my gang back together

Answer 15

Yeah back off you greasy punk

Question 16

LIL GERARD: Hey that’s not very nice, he’s trying his best here

Answer 16

Yeah let him live you striped fiend what do you know about anything anyway?

Question 17

ELIJAH: Who exactly are you people anyway? I don’t recall seeing you around these parts before…

Answer 17

Well the three of us came here because one of the greatest skateboarders ever, Lil Iggy-

Question 18

STANLEY: I’VE GOT IT in all of my research on Diddy, who never did ANYTHING wrong for the record, the only island that sounds sorta like E.P. Stein would have to be…well…Epstein’s Island!

Answer 18

ALL: (mortified:) WHAT?!