Relational Communication Flashcards
(85 cards)
1
Q
The nature of the relationship is defined by ___?
A
The communication between its members.
2
Q
Relationships and the communication between people have an __?
A
Interaction effect
3
Q
Relationships are usually defined as __, rather than ___.
A
Implicitly; Explicitly
4
Q
Two types of messages:
A
Content
Relational
5
Q
Content Message
A
What is said
Explicit
The “message”
6
Q
Relational Message
A
How it is said
Implicit
The “meta-message”
7
Q
Meta-message
A
the relational message
EX. a little boy saying “I love you, mommy” vs. A man getting down on one knee and saying “I love you” to his loved one.
8
Q
Four dimensions of the Relational/meta-message
A
- Arousal, composure, formality
- Intimacy
- Immediacy
- Submission/dominance
9
Q
Psychological ____
Degree of ____
Degree of ____
A
Arousal, composure, formality
10
Q
Four dimensions of the Relational/meta-message: Intimacy
A
Emotional closeness
Ex. Children and their parents
Best friends
Siblings
11
Q
Four dimensions of the Relational/meta-message: Immediacy
A
Indicates someone likes someone or not
Interpersonal attraction
Don’t want to develop intimacy
Stays at surface level
12
Q
Four dimensions of the Relational/meta-message: Submission/dominance
A
Power dynamics
Who is in charge
Some married couples experience this
13
Q
Five Stages of Coming Together
A
- Initiating
- Experimenting
- Intensifying
- Integrating
- Bonding
14
Q
Five Stages of Pulling Apart
A
- Differentiating
- Circumscribing
- Stagnating
- Avoiding
- Terminating
15
Q
Initiating
A
Greetings and indicating there is an opening for communication
16
Q
Experimenting
A
Small talk
Stage of ALL relationships that we don’t get past.
17
Q
Intensifying
A
Increasingly personal self-disclosures.
Things feel emotionally compelling
Getting past the small talk.
if we like this then we fall in love
18
Q
Integrating
A
Coupling Pet names Develop a way of being together Refer to ourselves as a "we" Normalizing happens
19
Q
Bonding
A
Public expression of a commitment – marriage
Making it legal
20
Q
Differentiating
A
Point out and experiencing differences
Start to notice how different you are from your partner
21
Q
Circumscribing
A
Holding back self-disclosures
“Return of the stranger” stage
22
Q
Stagnating
A
Binding one’s time for a better opportunity
23
Q
Avoiding
A
Creating/tolerating situations that detract from the relationship
Spending more time apart
24
Q
Terminating
A
Ending the relationship
casting the relationship into a new form
25
Theory of Self-Disclosure
Healthy and ideal relationships require that people allow others to experience themselves fully and to be open to experiencing other fully
26
Too much self-disclosure early on in a relationship may be perceived as ___ and ___.
Threatening; burdensome
27
Social Penetration Theory
The process of increasing disclosure and intimacy
28
Breadth
an array and variety of topics
29
Depth
amount of info regarding each topic
30
Outer shell of SPT
Visible levels of info
31
Deeper layer of SPT
More personal thoughts, beliefs, and experiences
32
Relational Perception Theory
In every communication with another person there is both behavior and experience involved
33
Behavior
Observable actions
| outward and public
34
Experience
Internal perception
| Inward and Private
35
Two levels of Perspective-Taking
Direct
| Meta-Perspective
36
Direct perspective
When we observe and interpret another person's behavior
37
Meta-perspective
When we assign meaning to what we imagine the behaving person's experience is
Interpreting based on their current and past behavior
38
Spiral
A prolonged misperception/misinterpretation that leads to misunderstanding
We think we know it but actually we misunderstood
39
Two types of Spirals
Unilateral
| Bilateral
40
Unilateral Spiral
When 1 party's perception cause a spiral
41
Bilateral Spiral
When 2 or both parties are engaged in misperceptions that perpetuate the relational misunderstanding
42
Perceptual accuracy
When one's misperception is aligned with the other's experience
43
Four Dialectical Principles in Friendship Communication
1. The freedom to be dependent and independent
2. Using the friendship for affection vs utility/instrumentality
3. Sometimes we feel judgmental toward a friend, but believe that friendship should be about acceptance
4. Expressing openly vs protectively
44
Marriage is characterized by:
Conventionality
Companionship
Conflict
*The Three C's*
45
Conventionality
A variable involving conventional vs. Non-conventional notions of family
How traditional a couple is.
46
Companionship
A variable reflection dependence vs. autonomy in marriage
How much time you spend together.
Do you like doing things together all the time or do you like to have your time apart?
47
Conflict
A variable reelecting the amount of open disagreement expressed in the marriage.
This is inevitable
48
Married couples tend to cluster into 3 distinct groups:
1. The Traditionals
2. The Independents
3. The Separates
49
The Traditionals
Conventional in their views
Place more value on stability and certainty in role relations
Strong interdependence
Highly companionable
Not prone to disagree, but don't avoid conflict
Power and decision-making are distributed
50
The Independents
Unconventional
Don't rely on each other
Less companionable
Value their own autonomy
Often have separate rooms in the house
Relationship is having to be negotiated frequently
More conflict because they have more independent goals between individuals
51
The Separates
Conventional but seem ambivalent about their roles and the relationship
Not interdependent
Don't share much
"Emotionally Divorced"
Retreat from conflict
Not very expressive
Don't understand their partners' emotions very well
52
5 Love Languages
1. Acts of service
2. Verbal affirmation
3. Gifts
4. Touch
5. Quality time
53
Attribution Theory
Ordinary people in their ordinary lives seek explanations and reasons for others' and their own behaviors
54
We actively seek the answer to the question...
WHY?!
55
What is the equation for Behavior?
```
The person's character
X
The situation
=
Behavior
```
56
The attribution process is related to ____ processes
Conflict Management
57
When we attribute SITUATIONAL factors to others' behaviors we tend to approach conflict with them ____.
Cooperatively
58
When we attribute TRAIT/CHARACTER factors to others' behaviors we tend to approach conflict with them ____.
Competitively
59
It's recommended that we attempt to give others what?
The benefit of the doubt
60
What is related to Attribution Theory
Accounts in social construction
61
Accounts are ways of?
Justifying/Explaining one's behavior
62
Accounts, for the SENDER
- A way to save face, accomplish goals, preserve relationships
- Enable the violator to frame events by creating context in which to interpret those events
63
By giving account we attempt to control ___ _______ __ ___ _________.
The meaning of the situation
64
Accounts, for the RECEIVER
Enables them to "move on" because they are given the answer to the "WHY"
65
Interpersonal Conflict
An expressed struggle between at least 2 interdependent parties who perceive:
- Incompatible goals
- scarce resources
- interference from the other party in achieving their goals
66
The Three "I's" of Conflict
1. Interdependence
2. Incompatible Goals
3. Interation
67
Characteristics of Interpersonal Conflict
1. It's Natural
2. It can be direct or indirect
3. It can be harmful or beneficial.
68
Most common sources of conflict
```
Personal criticisms (20%)
Finances (13%)
Household chores (10%)
```
69
Studies have shown that the major topics of conflict are ______ __________ for gal, lesbian, and heterosexual couples.
nearly identical
70
The Four Horsemen
Criticism
Contempt
Defensiveness
Stonewalling
71
The Four Horsemen: Criticism
The expression of complaints about another party
72
The Four Horsemen: Contempt
The expression of insults and attacks on another's self worth
*Primary leader to divorce*
73
The Four Horsemen: Defensiveness
The tendency to deny the validity of criticisms directed at the self
74
The Four Horsemen: Stonewalling
The behavior of withdrawing from a conversation or and interaction
75
Why are they labeled the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse"?
The behaviors are predictive of divorce
76
Other signs of relationship troubles:
Withdrawal and avoidance
Invalidation
Negative interpretations
Escalation
77
Arguers as Rapists
```
Aggressors
Done by dominating
Hostility
Name calling
Wants to win
```
78
Arguers as Seducers
Manipulators
Wants to win by twisting things
Guilting a person
79
Arguers as Lovers
The "Scientists"
| seek to use the discussion to learn and as a means to discover the truth or best solution to the issue
80
Styles of Conflict Management
```
Competing
Avoidance
Accommodating
Compromising
Collaborating
```
81
Low concern for other
| High concern for self
Competing
Focus on MY side of the issue and winning the argument
Use whatever means i have to win
Use my resources to get what I want
82
Low concern for other
| Low concern for self
```
Avoidance
Stay away from topics of disagreements
When disagreeing, keep to self
Tend to avoid situations that will lead to conflict
Try to avoid conflicts whenever possible
```
83
High concern for other
| Low concern for self
```
Accommodating
Make the other person happy
Usually give in to the other person
Important that the other person is satisfied
Usually do whatever the other suggests
```
84
Moderate concern for other
| Moderate Concern for self
Compromising
Thinks everyone in the conflict has to give up something to find an acceptable solution
Tries to find a solution that will be close to what everyone wants, but not exactly
believe compromising is essential to managing conflict
Don't expect to get exactly what we want but something that is close to what I want.
85
High Concern for other
| High Concern for self
Collaborating
Goal in conflict = find solution everyone likes
Usually try to find a "win-win" solution
Share info and ideas so an acceptable solution can be found
Prefer to come up with a resolution that everyone is pleased with.
