Scene 2

Question 1

GT: to be perfectly frank, I’m impressed you came out tonight.

Answer 1

According to my research, I can still qualify for nationals this year.

Question 2

GT: and you can make a comeback in New York.

Answer 2

If the gods of air are willing.

Question 3

GT: because qualifiers are thin on the ground in Montana.

Answer 3

So this…is where the magic happens ?

Question 4

GT: this is where I touched the divine.

Answer 4

Very cool. You and Shreddy and everybody seem really close. Y’all hang out a lot?

Question 5

GT: we’re so spread out, we only see each other at competitions.

Answer 5

Bummer

Question 6

GT: but the group text is fire.

Answer 6

I’m sure

Question 7

GT: but you could work out some kinks, try some stuff out before NYC.

Answer 7

Uh no, I’m doing recon.

Question 8

GT: the only way to really get better is to perform.

Answer 8

I know about audiences. What I don’t know about is air guitar.

Question 9

GT: the harder it’s going to be to get back on that horse.

Answer 9

I got lower scores than the guy who performed as resurrected Jesus.

Question 10

GT: so what are you working on for your comeback?

Answer 10

Got a couple things in the hopper. Tell me what you think.

Question 11

GT: okay

Answer 11

Two princes. By the spin doctors

Question 12

GT: baby stuff

Answer 12

The rhythm guitar part in that song is irresistible. Everybody loves that song.

Question 13

GT: what else?

Answer 13

Smells like teen spirit

Question 14

GT: okay yeah, Nirvana is always a solid choice.

Answer 14

But?

Question 15

GT: that sends a message to the crowd, instead of just being fun for you?

Answer 15

Last but not least, I’ve been working on some choreo for American Girl, Tom Petty

Question 16

GT: I get it

Answer 16

Because I’m…I’m an American girl I guess.

Question 17

GT: no no it makes sense. Were you raised by white people?

Answer 17

Hey!

Question 18

GT: no no, I get it.

Answer 18

But?

Question 19

SE: how is sixty seconds of one of those songs an extension of your soul and only your soul?

Answer 19

Dude, how is I don’t want to grow up an extension of your soul?

Question 20

SE: Nina, that song is my entire life

Answer 20

Yeah yeah yeah, how?

Question 21

SE: what about your persona, been working on that?

Answer 21

Oh yeah

Question 22

SE: and?

Answer 22

What do you think of, Kate Middle finger?

Question 23

SE: who is she?

Answer 23

My persona? It’s like a play on the royal family?

Question 24

SE: no one in the royal family plays rock guitar.

Answer 24

Okay, what about Ruth Slayer Ginsburg. Get it? It’s a pun!

Question 25

GT: you don’t get points for puns

Answer 25

Oh shut up. I think it’s harder for girls. Who are my role models?

Question 26

SE: cannibal queen

Answer 26

I hate that c*nt

Question 27

SE: did CQ do something to you?

Answer 27

F*ck off

Question 28

GT: and he always invites her to the San Diego finals but she never comes. Until tonight you guys.

Answer 28

Whoa

Question 29

GT: his charisma marks have to be off the charts.

Answer 29

Ooh! It doesn’t matter if the crowd loves you or hates you, as long as they’re making a lot of noise. Like TV wresting!

Question 30

GT: surely you’ve seen his routine?

Answer 30

Oh I’ve seen it. Up close

Question 31

SE: from another century or a story or…

Answer 31

He’s Don Quixote. A man out of time. He dreams the impossible dream

Question 32

SE: uh huh

Answer 32

Is he gonna play Simple Man for the freestyle round again?

Question 33

GT: he’s been playing it all season

Answer 33

That’s why he hasn’t qualified yet. He’s Don Quixote playing like a Huckleberry Finn song

Question 34

SE: Nina’s got a great eye for what’s going on under the hood of a routine

Answer 34

I have a good coach

Question 35

GT: what’s the greatest thing about air guitar?

Answer 35

Oh i want to know this.

Question 36

FB: I have a dread in my bones

Answer 36

A dread?

Question 37

FB: why should I expect it to triumph this nigh?

Answer 37

You think the song will fail you?

Question 38

CQ: he’s just, we’re just, whatever.

Answer 38

You’re married!

Question 39

CQ: I’m usually the only vagina in the room

Answer 39

I’m…um…

Question 40

SE: she’s still working on a persona

Answer 40

The…

Question 41

SE: she’s not competing again until NYC so she has some time.

Answer 41

Nina!

Question 42

CQ: are you backed by the Pinta and the Santa Maria?

Answer 42

The Nina.

Question 43

CQ: exactly

Answer 43

He’s not really going to be here tonight, is he? David cooper?

Question 44

SE: let me guess you saw his sprite commercial?

Answer 44

No, I mean yes I saw it, I just…do you really think he’ll be here?

Question 45

SE: that dude used to be a friend now he’s just…

Answer 45

The competition?

Question 46

GT: he’s still conflicted about Simple Man

Answer 46

Okay Facebender look me in the eyes. Take a deep breath in, now hold it, now a deep breath out. Good. Now another deep breath in, hold it, anddddddd out. You’re doing great.

Question 47

SE: what are you a first responder?

Answer 47

Nope. I’m a web developer. And I’m about to troubleshoot the shit out of this situation.

Question 48

FB: I put myself entirely in your hands the Nina.

Answer 48

We have four hours till the show. Plenty of time for you to choreograph a performance for a new song, if it’s the right song and if we all contribute.

Question 49

GT: whatever I can do to help Bender Buddy

Answer 49

Okay. First let’s consider our audience. What do west coast people like?

Question 50

GT: they all eat organic food and drink green juice and almonds are like part of that.

Answer 50

Okay, so what we’re circling around here is a culture of people, including you Bender, who like the sun, and the wind in their hair, and who want to live forever.

Question 51

FB: yes yes!

Answer 51

And then, there’s a special person in the room. There’s a specific, special person in the audience that you want to reach, even more than the judges, isn’t there? How do you reach her? What is the song that feels like sunshine, that speaks directly from you to her?

Question 53

GT: oh, this is some voodoo

Answer 53

No. It’s targeted advertising. It’s not about whether or not the judges get it. It’s about the magic in the crowd.

Question 54

GT: if you can grab Sophia by the soul, the judges will have no choice but to go along for the ride.

Answer 54

You’re her father. What’s the sound?

Question 55

ANN: FACEBENDER!

Answer 55

What do you get if you win the world championships anyway?

Question 56

SE: limited edition custom flying Finn electric guitar.

Answer 56

A real guitar? A real guitar is the grand prize?