Scene 3

Question 1

CQ: the Nina right? I wanna talk to you.

Answer 1

What? Why? Can’t you see I’m working?

Question 2

CQ: what kind of work can you do from the back of a shitty bar?

Answer 2

I build websites. I can do it from anywhere

Question 3

CQ: you don’t have to quit your job for the season

Answer 3

People quit their jobs to play air guitar?

Question 4

CQ: no one’s leaving their job at the pentagon or anything.

Answer 4

And what job did you quit to be here tonight?

Question 5

CQ: mostly right now, I just do air guitar. And I’m married

Answer 5

So it’s his money that keeps you in leather pants and hair extensions?

Question 6

CQ: if more of us who are competent join the circuit eventually they’ll have to let one of us win.

Answer 6

I don’t want your help

Question 7

CQ: you one a those bitches who can’t be friends with other girls?

Answer 7

I’m friends with plenty of girls

Question 8

CQ: you have to be really careful not to give the crowd everything.

Answer 8

What does that even mean?

Question 9

CQ: don’t let them use you as entertainment?

Answer 9

Entertainment?

Question 10

CQ: your freestyle in Staten Island was nonsense.

Answer 10

I’m working on something new

Question 11

CQ: what

Answer 11

Heart

Question 12

CQ: come on it’s so cliche

Answer 12

Hey, Nancy Wilson’s guitar playing basically defined the sound of the 70s and 80s. But I’m also working on some Joan Jett

Question 13

CQ: if you want to play with the boys think like the boys

Answer 13

Or you know think for yourself

Question 14

CQ: if you’re gonna do this, actually do it. The right way.

Answer 14

Joan Jett made me want to play guitar! Anyway why do you care? Why are you lecturing me?

Question 15

CQ: this is how mean people make friends- we instruct

Answer 15

You and I are not gonna be friends

Question 16

CQ: what’s your damage?

Answer 16

You’re married! You’re married and you’re fucking D vicious aren’t you?

Question 17

CQ: are you a little D Vicious fan girl?

Answer 17

No I’m his fiancé

Question 18

CQ: WHAT

Answer 18

Or. I was.

Question 19

CQ: I didn’t know he had a fiancée he never told me.

Answer 19

Would you have cared if he had told you?

Question 20

CQ: yes I don’t poach.

Answer 20

You cheat on your husband

Question 21

CQ: it doesn’t mean I go around scamming on other girls dudes.

Answer 21

Well you scammed on mine. And you still are, aren’t you? You’re still dating him.

Question 22

DV: fucking hell nina?

Answer 22

It’s the Nina now

Question 23

DV: what is this, some kind of ambush?

Answer 23

Oh calm down. It’s not an ambush. I didn’t even know you’d be in Boston.

Question 24

DV: I could be anywhere

Answer 24

I haven’t seen you at any of the other qualifiers.

Question 25

DV: how many of these competitions have you been to?

Answer 25

All of them. All over. Facebender’s victory in San Diego last week? I was there. I helped him pick his new song. We’re friends now

Question 26

DV: and now you’re suddenly on the circuit.

Answer 26

My persona is the Nina

Question 27

DV: are you trying to get me back

Answer 27

No

Question 28

DV: this is about my sprite commercial isn’t it?

Answer 28

No! That stupid commercial was online only anyway. And nobody likes sprite!

Question 29

DV: people fucking love sprite

Answer 29

You didn’t win the goddamn Nobel prize.

Question 30

DV: you can’t just he supportive, you always know better

Answer 30

Oh, I have problems with being supportive? Says the guy who bailed out of nowhere.

Question 31

DV: sure you go ahead and tell yourself that.

Answer 31

I came home one day and all your stuff was gone. No call no note just you give love a bad name blaring on repeat.

Question 32

DV: there was no point in having another fight when you had stopped listening.

Answer 32

When you started to get good at air guitar you checked out of our relationship

Question 33

DV: because I suddenly remembered what it was like to be around people who wanted to be around me.

Answer 33

I loved you! I loved our band and our apartment and our life. I loved you.

Question 34

DV: I don’t want our old life and I don’t want you. You’re fucking awful.

Answer 34

Oh this is your favorite. This moment when I feel stupid and say too much and you have all the power. You love this.

Question 35

DV: you act like you don’t need help from anybody, but blame everyone else when you fail.

Answer 35

I’m not doing this to get you back.

Question 36

DV: then why are you here Nina.

Answer 36

Because. When someone breaks your heart you find what they love most in the whole world. Then you take it from them.

Question 37

DV: you are very dark inside

Answer 37

You’re damn right. And whose fault is that?

Question 38

DV: your terrible parents

Answer 38

You broke up our real band. You broke up our real relationship. And for what? To fuck somebody else’s wife and spend every night in shitty bars with people who think you’re cool because you’re the best at IMAGINARY GUITAR? To play pretend with a gaggle of second rate unfuckable losers who couldn’t be contributing members of society if they tried? This is your kingdom? This is where you’re god? You ruined my real life and you get to be happy in pretend land? Fuck that and fuck you. It may be shitty, it may be imaginary but I’m here to take it from you.

Question 39

DV: see you in New York.

Answer 39

Guys guys! I didn’t mean that stuff I didn’t! He gets into my head. Please.