stresses and strains

Question 1

define

relational value

Answer 1

the degree to which others consider their relationships with us to be valuable, important, or close.

Question 2

define

maximal inclusion

Answer 2

others seek us out and go out of our way to interact with them

Question 3

define:

active inclusion

Answer 3

others welcome us but don’t seek us out

Question 4

define:

passive inclusion

Answer 4

others allow us to be included

Question 5

define:

ambivalence

Answer 5

others don’t care if included or not

Question 6

define

passive exclusion

Answer 6

others ignore us but not avoid

Question 7

define:

active exclusion

Answer 7

others avoid us; tolerate if absolutely neccessary

Question 8

define:

maximal exclusion

Answer 8

other banish, send us away

Question 9

define

ostracism

Answer 9

when you are ignored by those around you

Question 10

list

consequences of ostracism

Answer 10

• painful, stressful
• ostracized partner may end the relationship
• antagonistic reactions

Question 11

list

types of jealosy

Answer 11

• reactive jealousy
• suspicious jealousy

Question 12

define

reactive jealousy

Answer 12

jealousy occurs when someone becomes aware of an actual threat to a valued relationship

Question 13

define

suspicious jealousy

Answer 13

jealousy that occurs when one’s partner hasn’t misbehaved and ones suspicions do not fit fact at hand

Question 14

list

who is prone to jealousy

Answer 14

• people with low Clalts
• feelings of inadequecy
• low self-esteem
• insecure attachment styles
• high in neuroticism
• low in agreeableness

Question 15

answer

which gender is more likely to be jealous of sexual infidelity?

Answer 15

men

Question 16

answer:

which gender is more likely to be jealous of emotional infidelity

Answer 16

women

Question 17

list

responses to jealousy

Answer 17

• lash out in harmful ways
• spying/restricting partners freedom, derogating/theratening rival
• express concerns/make themselves a better partner

Question 18

answer:

women work to preserve what?

Answer 18

relationship

Question 19

answer:

men work to preserve what?

Answer 19

ego

Question 20

define:

deception

Answer 20

intentional behavior that creates an impression in the recipient that the deciever knows to be untrue

Question 21

list

types of deception

Answer 21

• outright lying
• conceal info
• divert attention from vital facts
• mix truth and lies to create half-truths

Question 22

Answer:

what percentage of people lied to their partner in the last week

Answer 22

97%

Question 23

define

recievers distrust

Answer 23

we distrust people we lie to

Question 24

Answer

who is more likely to think their lie is harmful; the recipient or the liar

Answer 24

the recipient

Question 25

# list risk factors for lying

Answer 25

* extraverted/high self monitor * concerned with impression management * insecure attachment styles

Question 26

# list people who are better at lying

Answer 26

* good social skills * people who don't have much to lose

Question 27

# true or false there are unique behaviors attributed to deceit

Answer 27

false

Question 28

# define: truth bias

Answer 28

assume partner is telling the truth

Question 29

# list types of betrayals

Answer 29

* infidelity * gossiping behind back * spending too much time elsewhere * lying * teasing in hurtful way * breaking promises * failing to support * abandoning relationship

Question 30

# list risk factors for betrayal

Answer 30

* being a social science, education, business or humanities major * youth * low levels of education * not religious * being unhappy/maladjusted

Question 31

# list two sides of betrayal

Answer 31

* betrayer often thinks the actions are harmless * betrayed thinks they are harmful

Question 33

# list reasons that revenge doesn't work

Answer 33

* unbalanced perceptions of how bad wrong doing was * cycle of harm created * revenge isn't satisfying

Question 34

# describe vengence seekers | personality traits

Answer 34

* high neuroticism * low agreeableness * greedy * manipulative * less happy

Question 35

# define forgiveness

Answer 35

giving up the right to retaliate for others wrongdoing

Question 36

# Answer ?/5 men have cheated on their spouse

Answer 36

3

Question 37

# Answer ?/5 of women have cheated on their spouse

Answer 37

2

Question 38

# list good apology characteristics

Answer 38

* identifies exact behavior that was problematic * recognizes how behavior was harmful * express regret (but dont dwell on own feelings) * makes a promise about how it will not happen again * includes a statement about why the relationship is important