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week 2 Flashcards

1
Q

what is an attachment figure

A

the person who you go to when you need comfort

  • kids = their parents
  • adults = parents, peer, partner
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2
Q

why we attach in childhood

A

Babies are very weak, helpless

Staying close to parents in childhood promotes survival

Attachment system evolved to promotes infant-caregiver bonding

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3
Q

why we attach in adulthood

A

Pair bonding is also adaptive

The attachment system, which we use to attach to
parents in childhood, transfers to romantic partners in adulthood (Fraley et al., 2005)

We’re evolved to form enduring romantic
attachments

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4
Q

pair bonding

A

selective associations between two individuals of the same species. These strong social relationships are typically observed within breeding pairs of monogamous species; however, pair bonds can exist between animals that are not sexually involved or sexually exclusive.

bonding together = better offspring

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5
Q

is pair bonding rare

A

yes

less demanding children only need 1 parent

only 1/4 mammals
only 1/5 primates

it evolved for offspring who need help from both parentrs

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6
Q

evolution is lazy (bonding)

A

using the same bonding for the cargiver bond and the partner bond

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7
Q

roles of attachment figure (2)

A
  1. secure base (ur not upset or stressed, can pursue goals, silently support and lets you explore, someone to check in w while u explore, buys u ingridients but watches u cook)
  2. safe haven (when u r distressed ur attachment system activates and ur motivated to find ur attachment figure, successful attaxchment figure will calm u)
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8
Q

threats and attachment figure

A

threats prompt us to look for attachment figure

doesnt need to physcial beside u

Threats to our wellbeing prime us to think
about/turn to our attachment figures

E.g., 127 Hours - stuck under rock and thinking of family helped

Soldiers writing to their loved ones

Airwaves get clogged during disasters - wanting to called loved ones

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9
Q

proximity seeking

A

We’re generally
motivated to stay close to our
attachment figures

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10
Q

paradox of seperatiaon and threat and attachment

A

Paradoxically, being separated from
an attachment figure leads to attachment system activation

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11
Q

can u have more than 1 attachmnet figure

A

yes and u should

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12
Q

order of most common attachment figure

A

partner, mother, friend, child, sibling, father

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13
Q

being a good attachment figure

A
  1. secure base - promote freedom and indepdence, respect and support others efforts and decioons, encourage, not being super hands on, letting them do their own thing
  2. safe haven - Be available, perceptive, Respond when the need comfort, affection, active listenong, be a shoulder to cry on
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14
Q

found myself a cheerleader

she is always there when i need her

A

secure base = cheerleader

safe haven = always there

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15
Q

strange situation

A

Secure: comforted by caregiver

Anxious-ambivalent: can’t be comforted

Avoidant: doesn’t seek comfort

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16
Q

avoidant baby

A

is almost angry

very cold

mom is not a secure base

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17
Q

anxious baby

A

cannot stop crying

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18
Q

can attachment style change

A

yes

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19
Q

parent is consistenly responsive

A

Strong model of self, strong model of others

securely attachment

needs r always met

recived support

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20
Q

2 childhood working models for attachment style

A

Model of self: worthy of love?

\Model of others: available and responsive?

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21
Q

If parent is never responsive (or controlling):

A

Uncertain model of self, weak model of others

avoiadnalty attached

never there, controlling, cannot trust othres, learn to be self reliant, dont express emotions

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22
Q

If parents is inconsistent:

A

Uncertain model of others , weak model of self

anxious attach

all over u and then ignoring u

think u hv to work for love

feels unworthy of love

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23
Q

If parent is erratic, abusive:

A

Weak model of both self and other

double wammy
high anxiety and high avoidance

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24
Q

attachment not patholigizedd

A

evolutionary, adaptive, a time in ut life when this wasd useful

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25
I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I don't oftenworry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close to me
secure
26
am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficult to trust them completely, difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, and o>en, love partners want me to be more in?mate than I feel comfortable being.
avoidant
27
find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I o>en worry that my partner doesn't really love me or won't want to stay with me. I want to merge completely with another person, and this desire some?mes scares people away
anxious
28
threat -> attachment figure close by
feeling secure attachment system deactovated can start problem solving and coping
29
threat. -> no attachment figure
anxiety first if no proximity avilable then deactive attachment system and nhibited emotionad if yes proximity then hypervigilent anf attachment system remains activated
30
is attahcmnet just a category
no its a scale of many thifs
31
De-activating strategies
“Checking out mentally” when your partner is talking to you. * Keeping secrets and leaving things foggy- to maintain feeling of independence * Avoiding physical closeness (walking ahead of partner) * Forming relationships with an impossible future, such as with someone who is married. * Focusing on small imperfections in your partner: the way they talk, dress, eat. * Pulling away when things are going well (like after an intimate date)
32
anxious intimiacy
Strong need to be close, accepted, supported, and reassured
33
anxious in relationship
Clingy, needy, controlling, jealous, often seeking reassurance
34
anxious associated w
Low self-esteem, sensitivity to rejection, neuroticism
35
anxious info processing
hyperactivity of negative thought and emotion
36
anxious physcial intimacy
Use sex as a tool for intimacy
37
avoidant intimacy
feel uncomfortable with: closeness, disclosing about themselves, feeling & expressing intimacy
38
avoidant in relationship
expect relationship failure & averse to commitment
39
avoidant assocoated w
Narcissism, valuing work and freedom
40
avoidant w info processing
suppress upsetting thoughts & memories
41
avoidant and physical intimacy
+ views of casual sex, sex to avoid fights
42
secure and intimacy
Comfortable with closeness, trust others. Turn to others when upset.
43
secure in relationship
More stable and satisfying relationships
44
secure associated w
good stuff
45
secure info processing
Positivity bias. Allow self to feel all emotions
46
secure physcial intimacy
Better communicators, more satisfied
47
anxious behv
Strong need to be close, accepted, supported, and reassured Attachment system hyperactivation -Hyperactivity of negative thought and emotion - Hypervigilant focus on attachment figures -Minimize distance from attachment figures -Clinging and controlling Intense ambivalence Intense need for closeness, combined with intense fear of abandonment (e.g., Joel, MacDonald, & Shimotomai, 2010)
48
excessive reassurance seeking
Seeking reassurance when it has already been provided - Vicious cycle – reassurance isn’t reassuring specifically because it was forced - Anxious attachment predicts ERS which in turn predicts depression
49
avoidant behv
feel uncomfortable with closeness, self-disclosure, feeling & expressing intimacy - self-described independent, low desire for social bonds - Strong desire to avoid closeness, weak desire to approach closeness (Locke, 2008 attachment system deactivation - Avoiding intimacy by not acknowledging distress - Suppressing distressing thoughts & memories Expect relationship failure; averse to commitment (Birnie et al., 2009) - Feel higher levels of attraction when interacting with potential alternatives (Overall & Sibley, 2008)
50
Secure behaviour
Believe distress is mangeable Learned that proximity leads to support protection and relief of distress - turning to others when distressed Acts anxious or avoidance when situation requires - activate attachment only when necessary More stable and satisfying relationship
51
Secure info processing
Positivity bias/optimistic bias Assumes the best, not too sensitive to negativity Attachment is only primsed by threat
52
Anxiety info processing
Always on the lookout (hypervilginat) Ruminating to negatkve events of percoved negative events Attachment conditions and worries chronically accessible
53
Avoidant info processing
Attachment based words and cognition are not particularly accessible even under conditions of threat Skilled at suppressing rejection Less attn to negativity and don’t encode it Not interested in info abt partners thoughts and feelings
54
Do avoidant ppl care
Yes, they just try to protect themselves 1. Avoidant who receive positive social feedback report higher positive affect and state self esteem 2. Avoidant who interact w warm validating interaction report highest connection
55
Avoidants avoid situations in which true intimacy, closeness is possible
Avoidantly attached participants perceived lower potential for intimacy with, and lower romantic interest in responsive targets
56
š Circumvent the attachment system:
avoid potential for intimacy
57
Why date someone insecure
Insecure people have features that are appealing during relationship initiation š Participants were led to believe that they were interacting with a possible date (competing with others to win a date) š Anxious attachment: š Talked more, used humour, seemed more willing to share, greater variety of self-disclosures, seemed more interesting š Avoidant attachment: š Used humour, physical touch, eye contact with camera
58
Can attachment style change
Yes Get in good relation means less avoidant Breakups make secure ppl insecure Newly weds become secure over time
59
Partner decreases in avoidance
You decrease at the same time and in the future
60
Partner increases avoidance or anxiety
You increase in avoidance because ur partner got worse at responding to ur needs so u feel like u cannot trust
61
Someone who rlly wants to be in a relationship
Anxious
62
Someone w good communication
Secure
63
Is attachment universal
In 79% countries studied, secure attachment was most endorsed (Schmitt et al., 2004) š Preoccupied more prevalent in East Asia š Insecure in areas where resources scarce Ideal attachment in Taiwan & US (Wang & Mallinckrodt, 2006)

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