Flashcards in Week Four Deck (23):
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U= IQ+EG+CQ
intelligence + emotional intelligence + cultural intelligence.
our communication style is a culmination of our personality, culture and training
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directors
- Extroverted and task oriented
- Driven by results, recognition and challenges.
- Confident
- Takes lead
- Effects change
- May appear arrogant under pressure
- May use adversarial approaches
- Not always good team players
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how to communicate with a director
- Capture their interest
- Gain their respect
- Avoid direct challenges to their control
- Focus on facts, concrete concepts.
- Active listening
- Compliment and recognise
- Don’t waste their time, waffle or be hesitant
- Avoid focus on feelings and emotions.
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what to work on for directors
- May need to work on active listening skills
- Empathy
- Focus on being a team player
- Delegation to others.
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influencers
- People oriented extrovert
- Like change, new ideas, cooperation
- Fear disapproval
- Outgoing, enthusiastic and optimistic
- Big picture oriented
- Not good at details
- May appear disorganised
- May speak too much and listen too little
- May speak before they think.
- Act on impulse
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what to work on for influencers
- Thinking things through before they speak
- Sticking to the agenda
- Focusing on budget etc.
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communication with influencers
- Match their optimism and enthusiasm
- Take a big picture perspective
- Offer an alternative idea instead of being critical
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stabiliser
- Introvert
- People-oriented
- Reserved but work well in teams
- Accommodating of others
- Slow to recover if hurt
- Prefer steady as oppose to sudden change
- Need security, fear isolation and standing out
- Patient, loyal, tactful.
- Might be prone to procrastination.
- Good at finding information
- Lots of tact and loyalty for team decisions
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to work on for stabilisers
Assertive behaviour
- Saying no
- Be prepared to take more risks
- Tend to be more cooperative and thus need to be careful when dealing with directors, as to not yield to pressure.
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communication with stabilisers
- Take time to develop a rapport
- Ask for ongoing feedback
- Be patient
- Make them feel values
- Expect things to be taken personally
- Minimise risk (let them take advice or confer w others)
- Lead them with a systematic approach
- Explain your position clearly
- Expect them to take adversarial approaches personally.
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conscientious
- Introverted and task oriented
- Need high standards, to be appreciated, to produce quality work
- Well prepared
- Analytical
- Fanatically cautious
- Can appear inflexible and resistant to change
- Often fear criticism
- Reserved and focus on the immediate task
- Systematic approach to work
- Prefer to plan for change
- Can be cautious and inflexible
- Need help to adapt and think creatively and work outside an adversarial framework.
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to work on for conscientious communicators
- Look to big picture
- Consider opponents feelings
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when communicating with a conscientious person
- Be punctual, organised, prepared, ethical and thorough.
- Use an agenda and follow through
- Focus on concrete concepts and facts
- Support ideas with evidence
- Emphasis the quality of your argument
- Deliver what you promise
- Expect them to take criticism personally
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high/low context cultures
○ English is low context, thus, most meaning is communicated through words.
○ High-context cultures use intonation, non-verbals etc.
○ Better to speak to those from high-context cultures in person so no meaning is lost.
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individualist/competitor
Individualist expresses their own needs
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collectivist/co-operator
○ Collectivists worry about the group
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non-verbal communication skills
- Posture
○ Sit open as a mediator
○ Sit to both people so no one thinks they are being ignored.
- Eye contact
- Use of voice
○ Tone
○ Pace
○ Vocal variation
- Body language
- Active listening
○ Not only about listening but also about checking what you have heard.
○ The biggest problem with listening is that we don’t listen to understand, we listen to reply.
○ People who are talking are not learning anything.
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active listening skills
- Attending skills
○ Being with the client physically and psychologically, making them feel heard.
- Following skills
○ Indicating that the speaker is understood and being followed.
- Reflecting skills
○ Giving feedback and interpreting what the speaker has said.
- Acknowledging
○ Empathy, not sympathy.
○ It is important to acknowledge emotions in mediation otherwise the party may keep repeating themselves.
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examples of reflective skills
Examples of Reflective Skills:
- 'you sound like'
- 'its seems that'
- Etc.
Do say
- I can see that you're upset
- I can see that you are frustrated
- I can see that you’ve had a bad time recently
Don't say
- I understand how you feel
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restating
○ Provide a compact, neutral and organised version of discussion
○ Pick up and highlight key issues
○ Remind the parties progress is being made
○ Provide acknowledgement of perspectives, needs and interests.
○ Keep them on track.
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interests and positions
- Often parties will tell the mediator what they don’t want rather than what they do want.
- Position is what they want
- Interest is why they want it
○ Needs, wants, concerns and fears.
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questioning
-open
-closed
-focused (directing answer to a particular topic).
- clarifying
empathetic
probing
leading
suggestive
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