Wrong Long

Question 1

In a science experiment in an orchard…

Answer 1

… a butterfly in a lab coat attempts to test a parachute entirely made of apples, but when it jumps off on the way down because the apple parachute of course doesn’t work it hits a pig buzzing around in the air like a bee (knocking the apples out its trotters), and forcing the pig to smash into a small pig-sized Portaloo (full of apples, breaking its fall luckily) (the butterfly of course can’t use the apple parachute but isa butterfly to flies down to safety, cursing the apple parachute for not working)

Question 2

A Not Lines meet in 1 or 2 places

Answer 2

So it must meet at more
Not 1 diagonal
M (285) B (230) W (60)

Question 3

In an office in an orchard, all the desks made out of apple trees, apple tree themed, computers with leaves sprouting from the tops…

Answer 3

… Osama (who has been pretending to be a normal office worker on a computer) pulls out a sword hidden in one of the apple computers (aha) (hidden where the handle is like the tree sprouting from the top of the computer), and swings at a V because he is trying to cause havoc and of course doesn’t like public exposedness (as he is wearing a toga), however the V is actual owned by a quite small Plato, who was hidden in a pile of apples, so he turns round, apples flying, covers himself up, grabs another apple sword and starts fighting Osama

Question 4

A Not Vertical line

Answer 4

A diagonal line in it
2 Diagonals
V (205) Y (100)

Question 5

In a church in an orchard, a big Jesus statue carved from an apple tree in the middle, the pews etc. made of dark apple wood…

Answer 5

… Big Shaq climbs out from the wooden Jesus tree statue dunking a wooden devil in his cup of tea (he must have found it In the statue) (and eats it like a biscuit)

Question 6

A Not Touch more than 1 place

Answer 6

But there are 2 straight lines in it
T (1487) L (1087)

Question 7

In an explosion in the sea…

Answer 7

… three baby triplets ride down Jesus like a rollercoaster (Jesus in a yoga position to be shaped like a rollercoaster) (Jesus obviously touched the ground creating the big explosion in the sea, a bit like Moses), and at the bottom pluck the leaves & algae of an old WW2 atom bomb (a bit like an old sea mine) (obviously it hasn’t gone off so actually didn’t cause the explosion, Jesus was probably trying to be benevolent by removing it and clearing the water away), and in doing so uncover in the bomb an apple which had made its home in the bomb (a bit like SpongeBob, makes sense as the triplets would like kids shows like that), who was inside extremely half-heartedly hanging a tiny Plato from the roof of the bomb (probably because it he was asking why he wasn’t a sponge, as they normally live in a house under three sea)

Question 8

C Not No diagonal lines

Answer 8

3 bits
Diagonal sloping down
Touch more than one place
No curves
More than 1 diagonal
A (538) K (50) Y (11)

Question 9

In an archery competition in the sea…

Answer 9

… all done by sea snakes (a bit like krakens) (as humans wouldn’t do an archery competition in the sea), one uses a gun to just shoot one of the snakes (not a bow aha), knocking the doughnut out its hand (probably was angry this snake wasn’t paying attention), making the snake point at him with an small hand (after all snakes don’t usually have arms at all) (‘why have you done this?’) then jumps into a bucket of sea water floating in the sea, which already had the doughnut floating in it from before) (ironically the sea was all around but it missed all that and landed in the bucket of sea water)

Question 10

C Not Straight line in it

Answer 10

Not S
O (794) U (160)C (83)

Question 11

In a church in the boys’ changing room, the windows being stained glass and pews instead of benches…

Answer 11

… King Kong (wearing a towel after his shower) shines a torch on the midget devil who is hiding in one of the showers (probably for devilish pedo reasons), making the devil disappear with devil magic. (King Kong is some sort of school security guard (he’s bulky enough for it) but who also takes showers in the boys’ changing rooms)

Question 12

D Not Touch more than 1 place

Answer 12

Vertical line
I (93) L (32) Y (25)

Question 13

In a spotlight on a fairytale stage in Far Far Away…

Answer 13

… a fairytale Venus flytrap in the audience chucks a small Uncle Sam (who was on the stage trying to recruit fairytale creatures for Loar Farquaad’s army) into an oven (where Gingie says hi as he was in the oven too)

Question 14

E Not Not a vowel

Answer 14

Curve
O (73) U (31)

Question 15

In a siege in Far Far Away, all the siege equipment run by Shrek characters

Answer 15

… an animated gold miner (like the one in Clash Of Clans) wearing armour picks the spikes off an animated man with a mohawk (they are spikey and oversized, being animated, so would make good catapult ammunition) (with the help of his pickaxe), sets them on fire for extra damage, but it gets too hot for the miner so he dunks the burning mohawk spikes in a teacup not very full of coom to put them out

Question 16

E Not No horizontals

Answer 16

No diagonals
No curves
1 vertical
L (530) T (413) F (123)

Question 17

In a massive animated fairytale church in Far Far Away…

Answer 17

… an animated Venus flytrap who was sitting in the pews between 2 of the pigs gains an animated hand to slap a giant animated fairytale snake (who has slithered into the church and is scaring all the fairytale creatures) (so it had to be a giant church the snake was in) into a tiiiny bucket of sea water held up (a bit like how the chalice of wine is held up, I suppose in Far Far Away they use sea water instead of wine as it’s a kids show) by a queue of the Shrek characters (who are queuing for communion at the altar and didn’t see the giant snake) (a Venus flytrap is best at slapping the snake because it can use its whole stalk to get more power)

Question 18

E Not Touch more than 1 place

Answer 18

Curve
C shape
S (1339) C (50) Q (22)

Question 19

In an office in Far Far Away, with Farquaad’s flags on the walls and fairytale suits of armour, all the workers being fairytale creatures from Shrek…

Answer 19

… an animated Osama (obviously picking the office as it is the most densely populated area in Far Far Away to cause terrorist damage) tries to terrorise the office by standing on a desk and pooing out one of the Shrek pigs, covered in poo, onto a small animated philosopher sitting at one of the desks (probably as a way of saying the philosopher is a capitalist pig, as he doesn’t like freedom of expression)

Question 20

E Not Vertical line

Answer 20

Diagonal
W (100) M (74) Y (30)

Question 21

In a fairytale science lab in Far Far Away, involving fairytale creatures from Shrek in lab coats, a big fairytale potion cauldron in the middle being lit by a Bunsen burner…

Answer 21

…an animated Osama is in the middle of cooking a stylised animated pirate (a pirate is I suppose a kid friendly depiction of a terrorist (which would be needed on Shrek)) on a spit over the cauldron (which is a bit stupid because it won’t get much heat, but maybe he is going to put it in the cauldron afterwards), and is currently rubbing just a tiny bit of his poop from his but on the pirate (hat, eyepatch and all) as marinate (in a racist way maybe that is the culture) (as Osama is religious I suppose he can’t eat all the animals so has to eat a human)

Question 22

E Not Lines meet in 1 or 2 places

Answer 22

Diagonal
M (300) R (200) W (17)

Question 23

In a church in a horse race, the little horses running round the church like it was a track and gamblers shouting from the middle…

Answer 23

… professor Sprout (wearing more priestly robes but shouting with cash in her hand like the rest of the gamblers, trying to use magic to create fake money so she can gamble more) King Kong (the security guard) sees her from where he watches in the rafters, swings down and blows Mrs Sprout up with TNT (for cheating), but inside her is just Hellish Flames (probably because she was cheating at gambling, the devil helped set her more on fire), leaving nothing but her eyes (and maybe witches hat) (it being both gunpowder as well as the fires of hell so burns more strongly), which plop into a cup of tea with a hiss

Question 24

G Not Touch more than 1 place

Answer 24

Vertical
No diagonals
No curves
L (61) I (30) T (15)

Question 25

In a spotlight in my bedroom…

Answer 25

... the hairdresser I have in Earling dunks a really tiny devil (whose hair he was cutting) into a our spotty mug of tea, destroying the devil (made of fire) with a hiss (the hair was getting everywhere in my room, the crowd on my bed watching the performance start cheering, the devil probably made fun of the haircut so the hairdresser had enough, especially if he was getting self conscious it being a hairdressing demonstration to a crowd (potentially of my toys))

Question 26

H Not Vowel

Answer 26

2 or 3 straight lines in T (130) L (13)

Question 27

In a spotlight in the opticians…

Answer 27

… the evil triplets who were pretending to help Homer Simpson do his eye test demonstration by pretending to be a (hells angels) bike helmet on his head drop off in the heat (breaking it) causing homer (embarrassed) to burst though Uncle Sam like a door (but and muscly like a door) (because Homer is blind (without his fake bike helmet))

Question 28

I Not Not a vowel

Answer 28

Not 3 bits Not one straight line O (835) E (385) U (17)

Question 29

In a church in the opticians, big eye test letters on the tapestries instead of saints, a piece of eye testing equipment as the altar and electric reclining dentist chairs instead of pew seats…

Answer 29

… a gold miner (in more priestly cassocks and wearing massive nerd glasses) is charming a snake in the front of the church as entertainment (he was so blind he didn't realise this wasn't the street where he would normally busk with it), the snake comes out dancing but when he realises the gold miner is blind he gives up and pulls another snake (maybe a snake biscuit) out of the basket, dunks it in a cop of tea and relaxed, in a but of a huff as his skills were not actually needed as the gold miner couldn't see him dancing

Question 30

I Not Touch more than 1 place

Answer 30

No diagonals Near S in alphabet S (1128) T (1123)

Question 31

In an archery competition in hell, shooting flaming arrows at the souls of the damned…

Answer 31

… in a spotlight following him round, Homer Simpson dramatically points at each of the hit (slightly smouldering) souls of the damned like a gameshow host

Question 32

L Not Straight line in it

Answer 32

Vowel O (387) U (100)

Question 33

In a garden in hell, all the trees on fire…

Answer 33

… a male stripper (sinful of course) stabs (maybe with his D) a small princess and the pea princess (the only non-evil thing left), who was wearing a pirate took to try and blend in

Question 34

L Not No curves

Answer 34

D shape D (253) P (19) R (10)

Question 35

In a hairdressers in hell…

Answer 35

… a miner (looking a bit like a gremlin with its hood), cuts Shrek's (also a bit like a demon so fitting to be in hell, though maybe the hairdressing is a punishment because he has no hair) hair with fiery hellish scissors, being so hot on Shrek's (bare) head that he opens his eyes so much his comically small eyes fall out their sockets

Question 36

L Not 2 or 3 straight lines in

Answer 36

No diagonals E (829) I (200)

Question 37

In a church in an abattoir, meat on all the pews and hanging from the ceiling…

Answer 37

… the Dalai Lama shines an opticians light into Plato's eye (as if doing some Buddhist magic to look bank into what he saw in the past), before dramatically pointing at him "you are the one who took all the meat from my temple and brought it here, maybe out of some sort of spite for Buddhism, you being an atheist philosopher I assume, but then why bring it all to a church? Do you as a philosopher judge the religions that much?"

Question 38

M Not Touch more than 1 place

Answer 38

(**removed Y**) No touches I (75) U (45)

Question 39

In an explosion on the farm, mud, farm animals and feathers flying everywhere

Answer 39

Oppenheimer (very used to explosions) is cutting bob the builder's hair nonchalantly - Bob is a bit more confused but I suppose working on a building site makes him slightly used to it too (Bob being a minimum wage worker has to go to the cheapest hairdresser around - the one on the farm) - as this is happening and Bob has obviously had to put his helmet on the ground, an apple from the explosion flying past from the nearby cowshed knocks it flying, to the annoyance of Bob, but before it lands, a member of the KKK materialises in front of the helmet, catches it, and materialises away again (seeing the helmet get knocked away by the apple shrapnel he saw his moment to steal a much needed helmet, if you are going in a lot of riots and getting lots of tomatoes thrown at you in marches)

Question 40

N Not No diagonal lines

Answer 40

More than one diagonal 2/3 straight lines 3 straight lines A (347) Y (58) K (52)

Question 41

In a science experiment (dissecting chickens) on the farm…

Answer 41

A lightbulb (being used to look further into the chicken) sees Uncle Sam trying to come and find out the (probably Uncle Sam is hoping nuclear) secrets they are investigating, so turns round and shoots him, who falls into Lord Farquaad (probably also trying to find the secrets for his army against the dragon), who realises he won't be able to steal the secrets now, so takes out Uncle Sam's eyes (as you would in a fairytale) now they are not of use and bakes them in the oven as a snack (maybe he can see what Uncle Sam sees through his eyes so find out the military secrets of the inside of a chicken)

Question 42

N Not Lines meet in 1 or 2 places

Answer 42

Vowel Not a U E (692) O (465) I (100)

Question 43

In a cartoon church in Springfield (where Rev Lovejoy works)…

Answer 43

… The Witcher pours water from a watering can on a cartoon Uncle Sam barely riding a tiny snake, making him sprout leaves and so disable him (that is the best attack for a Witcher to disable a snake-riding propaganda person, who was terrorizing the people of Springfield as anyone who went in the church were brainwashed to join the navy and if the refused were batted into the sky by the tiny cartoon snake)

Question 44

O Not Touch more than 1 place

Answer 44

Doesn't cross Curve in it U (870) G (70) S (30)

Question 45

In a (nuclear) science experiment in Springfield (in the power plant)…

Answer 45

… a cartoon Osama takes some of the uranium and kills a (spider) pig wo was pooing on his favourite model of a pirate ship (he has to have a hobby as not much terrorism happens in Springfield, and pirates are a bit like terrorists of an earlier age so he felt a connection with them)

Question 46

O Not Lines meet in 1 or 2 places

Answer 46

Diagonal M (546) W (330) R (277)

Question 47

In the Princess And The Pea's bedroom in a castle that has been converted into a church - stained glass windows shining light onto the bed…

Answer 47

... a fairytale gold miner (looking a bit like the person from Clash Of Clans) uses his (hellish) magic to set fire to the old man who was lying in the bed (as he is obviously an agent of the devil in has cloak and this is a church), making the old man points very half-heartedly at him. 'So it was the devil's acolyte who actually put the pea under the bed!' (though the gold miner was more annoyed that the wrong person - the old man - was sleeping in the bed not the princess).

Question 48

P Not Touch more than 1 place

Answer 48

No diagonals L (263) T (106) U (25)

Question 49

In an archery competition on a pirate ship, the sails being used as targets and some pirates shooting their flintlock pistols at the targets too in excitement…

Answer 49

… an lighting electrician with light bulbs on his belt (not being the cleverest) puts his WW2 howitzer in to bake in the oven, thinking it would help improve its aim in the competition (trying to one-up the pirates who stopped using bows and started using gunpowder weapons)

Question 50

R Not Straight line in it

Answer 50

Vowel O (727) U (100)

Question 51

In a garden on a pirate ship…

Answer 51

… the robot villain from Spider Man who is terrorizing the ship (with lots of arms a bit like the Kraken, holding onto tree branches with his many arms) (but is actually on the pirate's side against the swarm of dicks coming aboard so they can dog in the bushes - they have swam there a long way because it is the only ship in the ocean with a garden to dog in) stabs a dick with a dick on a spear (using its own power against it - clever) (with one of its many robot arms - others holding on to the mast, attacking other dicks etc.), making it turn 2D (if it doesn't then it blows up into a big Bee shaped balloon), causing it to float away but just manages to grab a pan (offered like the cartoons, by another D) with his now 2D pirate hook

Question 52

R Not No curves

Answer 52

Not just one bit D shape Just 1 (curve) B (27) D (189) R (121) P (42)

Question 53

In a hairdressers on a pirate ship…

Answer 53

… a businessman in a suit getting his haircut (he is on-site auditing the pirate ship's treasure) sits on an old quintessentially British man with a top hat (he wants to feel like he is a successful businessman even though he is on a pirate ship so feels good having more authority than the man), the old man shines an opticians light into the brig underneath him to ask the philosopher Plato what the meaning of his life is, if he is just a throne for wealthy businessmen to sit on as they have their haircuts on the ship

Question 54

R Not 3 or 4 straight lines in

Answer 54

Vertical In the middle T (362) I (200) Y (50)

Question 55

In a siege on a pirate ship, the catapults rocking the ship side-to-side when they fire…

Answer 55

… a Portaloo rocking around on the ship (holding the precious pig livestock cargo - pigs liking poo and as a defence against the attacking KKK, and pirates often keeping livestock on their ships for long voyages) gets shot by a sniper from the opposing besieging ship (who is run by the KKK, another pirate group, but who are very hungry as being used to mainland America with food they didn't pack any livestock), falling over from the rocking from the catapults, forcing the pig inside to throw what farm animals would have) corn onto the KKK midgets (small due to starvation) attackers (who were the other 'pirate' ship attacking, who are now boarding the ship thinking they had assassinated the most important cargo - the pig for their dinner) (pigs also like to eat poo hence his living on a Portaloo on the ship, making the (hungry) KKK members get distracted by the corn (from corn fields aha) and eat that instead of attacking the pig (allowing him to escape)

Question 56

R Not Horizontal line

Answer 56

Not a W M (175) N (160) K (45)

Question 57

In an explosion in the tall grass…

Answer 57

… a pig (who got really fat from eating all the grass and the snakes in the grass - pigs eat everything) is exploded so far up he is as high as big ben, who chomps the pig like an apple then poos it out his mechanical bum

Question 58

S Not No diagonal lines

Answer 58

Meet 3 places A (218) M (65) W (24)

Question 59

In an archery competition in the long grass, arrows flying dangerously in all directions because no one can see the targets…

Answer 59

… an octopus gets assassinated by a sniper (the dangerous archery competition was meant to make it look like an accident but the sniper still used bullets so it was quite obvious), making a snake (the actual target was the snake (who actually lives in the long grass) but the tentacles looked like snakes from a distance) grab uncle Sam and throw him into his oven (to eat later, as snakes eat people after all, the snake was just deciding which person to eat and chose Uncle Sam as he assumed he shot the octopus being the only person with a (WW2) gun, which was a good reason to eat him)

Question 60

S Not Straight line in it

Answer 60

Not a C S (405) O (398) U (250)

Question 61

In an explosion in a stately home, swords and armour flying everywhere…

Answer 61

… a stuffed minotaur taxidermy gets blown into three mini minotaurs, which try to escape the explosion by jumping onto the window ledge and synchronised diving into the pool below, but mess it up because their horns all get caught in each others, (so they land on a pirate carrying a stature of Socrates out (stealing it as it is valuable and that's what pirates do - steal valuable stuff when there is a commotion and distraction in the form of the explosion)), (and being a hungry fantasy evil creature who hasn't eaten for centuries wen it was pretending to be stuffed) so chomps on the pirate holding the stature of Socrates (also stopping the pirate from stealing stuff from the house where the minotaur lives)

Question 62

T Not No diagonal lines

Answer 62

Not just diagonals 3 bits No parallel lines A (530) R (426) Y (127)

Question 63

In an archery competition in a stately home, arrows hitting armour with a clang and hitting the valuable antiques…

Answer 63

… an octopus in the animal section gets shot by a sniper (with the archery competition as a bad cover for it), (homer Simpson was drooling at it and was about to take it and cook it so is now angry it has got shot) so homer Simpson strangles Uncle Sam, as he was the only person with a (WW2) gun that could have done it, Homer thought

Question 64

T Not Straight line in it

Answer 64

Not a C O (1041) S (337) U (200)

Question 65

In an office in a stately home, the computers all very steampunk, dark wood desks and suits of armour around the walls…

Answer 65

… Superman (who being a superhero would have a very fancy office like this one, who is taking some time off from saving the world looking at meme videos on his computer) laughs and points at the funny video he is looking at on his computer, minimised extremely extremely small (because he has super sight I suppose) of a snake dancing around in the ocean (everyone likes funny animal videos and stuff in sunny beaches and maybe he didn't realise snakes do in fact live in the ocean)

Question 66

T Not Vertical line

Answer 66

Just one bit U (55) C (1) S (1)

Question 67

In a garden in a stately home, very fancy with topiary, statues and a fountain…

Answer 67

… a tornado sucks up Uncle Sam who was boiling his D in one of the tiny (and hot) fountains (I think everyone is happy the tornado did that, and I suppose he was outside in a garden where you are exposed to the elements, there is always the risk of a rogue tornado and in such a big garden there is nowhere to hide)

Question 68

T Not No curves

Answer 68

One curve U (20) P (4) D (1)

Question 69

In a spotlight in a WW2 battlefield…

Answer 69

Robin hood (the only soldier tough enough to do it, being an archer from an earlier more brutal medieval age), pulls the eye out of lord Farquaad (also fitting for robin hood to do it as Farquaad is also medieval) (lord Farquaad is a baddie on the other team in the WW2 battle) and munches on the eye like an apple (in the spotlight as it is a symbol to show what happens to enemies they capture)

Question 70

U Not Not a vowel

Answer 70

Straight line A (136) E (147) I (101)

Question 71

In a toilet church, all the pews being loos, sinks on the outside and stained glass windows of toilets…

Answer 71

Superman (taking the place of Jesus as Jesus is now dead) flies in and knock over Homer Simpson as he flies with his fist, who was shining a little light at a little snake on the loo (superman was doing God's work because he thought Homer was being a voyeur but in reality Homer was just curious how snakes go to the loo, and was acting as security for the church (with his torch) (in case rough people come in, so Homer wasn't to pleased about being punched in the face by a flying superman while doing his job guarding the toilet-church)

Question 72

W Not Touch more than 1 place

Answer 72

Just one bit O (222) I (74) S (35)

Question 73

In a garden in a cave, plants carved out of stalactites and stalagmites and benches made out of rock…

Answer 73

... (lord Farquaad and one of his knight cronies are in hiding in the cave for being evil - it is a fantasy place where a fantasy villain like lord Farquaad would hide, the knight is passing the time by doing what you would do in a normal park - throwing a basketball around) a knight throws his large basketball at lord Farquaad, who is sitting on a bench brooding, but the ball just bounces off him with a comical boing and clatter of his armour as lord Farquaad is shining a small light on his small cup of tea he was brooding with (worrying some rock dust has fallen in it, brooding because he is in hiding and can't go out, and too depressed to play ball so just having a cup of tea patiently to pass the time)

Question 74

Y Not Curve in it

Answer 74

Horizontal At the top E (93) I (20) T (17)