11

Question 1

Useful problem solving steps

Answer 1

• Identify, define and analyse the problem
• Identify possible solutions
• Select the solution
• Plan who will do what, where and by when
• Take Action
• Evaluate

Question 2

Identify, define and analyse the problem

Answer 2

• Arrive at a mutually acceptable definition and understanding of the problem before trying to find solutions
• Try to develop a mutual understanding of each other’s perspectives
• There are a range of identification, definition and analysis strategies available for completing this step (e.g. conflict mapping; is/is not analysis)

Question 3

Identifying possible solutions

Answer 3

• Solution is ‘plural’
• Assume that no ‘one best solution’ fits the problem at this stage
• It is important to encourage creativity and minimise or avoid evaluation
• It is considered optimal if both parties work co-operatively to generate and publish ‘a shared’ list of possible solutions to the problem

Question 4

Selecting a solution

Answer 4

• Clarify (be specific on your solutions)
• Most appropriate solution/s
• Best meets everyone’s needs
• Consensus preferred (does not always work)
• Assess the consequences to ensure feasibility
• Clear statement, written or oral, of what the agreed solution is before proceeding to the next step

Question 5

Plan who will do what and by when

Answer 5

• determine the specifics of how to implement the solution
• decide who will do what, where and by when
• There are a range of strategies is available for planning the implementation of the solution to maximise the probability of success (e.g., action chart and flowchart)

Question 6

Unhelpful communication patterns

Answer 6

• ascribing motives
• counter-blame
• demand/withdrawal
• spiralling negativity
• stubbornness

Question 7

Ascribing motives

Answer 7

making incorrect/unjust inferences from somebody’s behaviour
“they did this because”

Question 8

Counter-blame

Answer 8

intention to prove that fault/blame lies with the other person
“it’s your fault because”

Question 9

Demand/withdrawal

Answer 9

forcing/withdrawal dynamic

“you have to do this or I’ll do this”

Question 10

Spiralling negativity

Answer 10

an initial mean/hostile comment is matched by the other party

• negative marital spiral
• tired/overwhelmed
• focus on what partner is not doing
• not noticing what partner is doing
• anger/ grumpiness
• negative feelings spread to partner
• back and forth of blame

Question 11

Stubbornness

Answer 11

both parties obstinately cling to their position to save face

Question 12

Is / Is not analysis

Answer 12

Going through each step of the process and testing “is the problem here?” Isolating the issue to begin the solution process
- Process of elimination to find the problem

Question 13

Conflict mapping

Answer 13

Identifying the problem and “mapping out” who it effects and what resources they have.

Question 14

Take action

Answer 14

• It is important to complete your action plan steps on schedule and to avoid over-reacting to another’s non-compliance
• If some people are having difficulty completing their action steps in the required time it is worthwhile trying to determine why the difficulty exists
• It may be that the parties have encountered unexpected factors preventing them from implementing aspects of the plan on time

Question 15

Evaluate

Answer 15

• Evaluate the problem solving process and how well the solution turned out
• This may be conducted during and/or at the end of the problem solving process
• It is important for parties to review their involvement by considering the positive and negative aspects of the problem solving process
• The review may also consider changes that could be implemented to improve future problem solving processes
• It is important for all concerned to assess whether they are satisfied with the outcomes of the implemented process

Question 16

When people do not cooperate

Answer 16

• Not all parties will separate the people from the problem, focus on shared interests, be eager to search for more alternatives, or base decisions on objective criteria
• Individuals involved may realise the importance of being cooperative, but not have the necessary skills for attempting to solve problems

Question 17

Skills to deal with non cooperative parties

Answer 17

• Special ‘people skills’ are often required to deal with avoidant or competitive parties
• Self-management is critical
• act responsibly by managing your emotions rather than simply reacting to someone else’s poor management of their emotions
• Invite the person to choose to enter the problem solving process by considering consequences of various outcomes
• use your sending and receiving information skills to help them
• using 3rd position to put their information/ feelings as priority

Question 18

What to watch out for dealing with non cooperative parties

Answer 18

• If you are emotionally aroused you will be less likely to listen well and deal logically with the problem
• avoiding sending (or receiving) personal attacks and name-calling that are likely to lead to a further deteriorating relationship
• It is up to each individual to decide whether they want to admit that a problem exists, whether they want to try to solve it and if so, what approach they wish to take
• others may not consider the issue or the relationship important enough to do something about it

Question 19

Using escalation when people are non cooperative

Answer 19

• Use escalative assertion: moving from discussing the content or the issue to addressing the process
• This may prove useful for addressing parties who seem to be adopting an avoidant or competitive approach to the problem solving process
• escalating to the process level allows you to re-address the agreements you reached at the outset in negotiating what approach to take in the problem solving process

Question 20

Mediation

Answer 20

• The main difference between mediation and the previous use of 3rd position skills is that a mediator is actually a third person
• An impartial, uninvolved or neutral party that assists two or more people in the management of their conflict
• Mediation can be viewed as an extension or application of skills used in the 3rd position

Question 21

What the mediator does

Answer 21

• The mediator considers what and whose information is important, ensures a balance between sending and receiving information, encourages a co-operative style, and moves the parties through the stages of negotiation and problem-solving
• The primary function of a mediator is to guide the process of conflict management - the participants involved in the conflict remain in charge of the content

Question 22

Before a mediated meeting

Answer 22

• ensure that all parties are willing to have a mediator
• be certain that the participants are aware that you are an independent or neutral person and your role is to assist them in finding a solution to their disagreement
• arrange the seating so there are no opposing sides
• when the participants arrive, clarify your role, set ground rules (confidentiality), discuss commitment to the process, request refraining from blaming, criticising or making demands of each other, and ask that people use “I” messages to own their feelings and emotions

Question 23

During a mediated meeting

Answer 23

• Identifying and choosing whose information and what information is important throughout
• Monitor the balance between both parties of sending and receiving
• Maintain a positive future orientation (each party to imagine a range of positive outcomes)
• Ensure that both parties are given equal and sufficient time when sending information
• Encourage empathy and active listening skills
• Encourage participants to view the situation from another perspective- Assist participants to frame and send direct, specific and concrete assertive messages
• Help participants manage their emotions and control their temper
• Clarify and validate individual differences

Question 24

Concluding the mediated meeting

Answer 24

• note the agreements
• ask participants to decide how they can effectively measure and review their agreement
• set processes in place to ensure that all parties adhere to the agreement
• acknowledge the participation of all parties and together celebrate the conclusion of the process

Question 25

Culture and communication

Answer 25

• The fundamental connection between all human beings, is that we all possess an innate instinct to communicate with each other.
• Every culture establishes, maintains, and adapts rules and symbols that facilitate the human desire to share information, express emotions, convey needs, and entertain.
• We learn the rules and symbols of our own culture from the moment we are brought into our world, and they become so familiar as to feel “natural” and “normal”.

Question 26

Differences in culture

Answer 26

• The rules, symbols, and processes of our communication often seem to be nothing more than “common sense”
• We must realise how inaccurate this idea is
• Interpersonal communication often involves misunderstandings, misinterpretations and conflicts because communication is not as simple or straightforward as mere talking and listening
• Those rules and symbols we take for granted as natural are not permanent and unchanging – we adapt and personalize them in our individual lives, and the ways in which we do so are worthy of examination.