Ch.10, Attraction Flashcards
(33 cards)
Williams, Ostracism Study
When need to belong is thwarted by acts of excluding/ignoring
Ostracism has worse effects on children than bullying
Ostracized people show deficits in brain mechanisms that inhibit unwanted behavior
Cyberostracism
Cyberostracism: ostracism on social media, occurs when you feel ignored on social media,
Friendship and Attraction: Proximity
Proximity: powerful predictor of whether any two people will become friends
Proximity can also bring hostility, but usually prompts liking
Anticipatory Liking:
expecting that someone will be pleasant and compatible; increases the chance of a rewarding friendship
Mere Exposure Effect
Familiarity fosters fondness
People prefer things they have seen more frequently
Violates the common-sense myth of boredom: decreased interest with exposure
Mere exposure effects even occur when people have received the stimuli previously without awareness
Zajonc and Instant Emotions
amygdala acts before cortex
Emotions are often more instant than thinking
Emotions are semi-independent of thinking: affect may precede cognition
When does physical appearance matter less in dating
PHYSICAL APPEARANCE MATTER LESS AMONG COUPLES WHO WERE FRIENDS BEFORE THEY STARTED DATING
Physical-Attractiveness Stereotype:
People tend to select people who are similar to their level of intelligence, popularity and self-worth
Physical-Attractiveness Stereotype: what is beautiful is good
Evolution and Attraction
Beauty signals higher fertility; this is found to be true
Social Comparisons and attractiveness
After we see someone unattractive, we rate ourselves as more attractive and vice versa
False Consensus Bias:
assume others share our attitudes
We tend to see those we like as being like us
Attitude alignment helps promote and sustain close relationships
Cultural racism
Complementarity:
may evolve as a relationship progresses, how opposites complement each other, yet most people tend to gravitate toward people similar to them
Ingratiation:
when someone gives us a compliment but it is really just self-serving to themselves?
Self esteem and self-fulfilling prophecies in relationships
People with low self-esteem tend to underestimate how much potential partners will like and accept them, then they act as less outgoing and warm than people with high self esteem (kind of brings about a self-fulfilling prophecy effect)
Reward Theory of Attraction
those who reward us, or whom we associate rewards with, we like
Conditioning creates positive feelings towards things and people linked with rewarding events
Proximity is rewarding: lives close by
Others have similar opinions = we feel rewarded because we presume they like us in return
We like those who like us
Difference between passionate and compassionate love
Passionate: Functions on testosterone, dopamine, adrenaline
Compassionate: Functions on oxytocin and attachment
Vassopressin
Genes associated with vasopressin activity predicts marital stability; vasopressin produces good feelings
Attachment styles and internal working models, causes of attachment styles
Secure attachment: distress when leaves, run to mother when comes back, then relax
Avoidant: doesn’t care
Anxious attachment: distress when leaving, be indifferent or hostile when comes back
Internal Working Models: characteristic ways of thinking about relationships from young age
THERE IS INTERGENERATIONAL CONSISTENCY OF ATTACHMENT STYLES
MAY BE PARTIALLY BASED IN INHERITED TEMPERAMENT
EQUITY Principle of Attraction pg. 376
What you and your partner get out of a relationship should be proportional to what you each put into it
Long term equity
Those who perceive that they are in an equitable relationship are typically content
Those who perceive more inequity are less happy
Self-Disclosure/ Disclosure Reciprocity effect
Free to open up about ourselves without fear of losing the other’s affection
Self disclosure in general is correlated with being happier
Disclosure Reciprocity Effect: disclosure begets disclosure, we reveal more to those who have been open with us
Passive vs active responses to relational distress
Passive Responses to relational distress: loyalty by awaiting improvement and neglect by ignoring partner
Active Responses to relational distress: voice, seek to improve relationship or exit and end relationship
Two factor theory of emotion
The two-factor theory of emotion suggests that in a romantic context, arousal from any source, even painful experiences, can be steered into passion.
Communal Relationships:
giving and receiving is based on the principle of need, you expect these relationships to be longterm, relationship where you feel special responsibility for the wellbeing of that person; Family members, romantic partners, friends