Chapter 4

Question 1

Field of eligibles

Purpose?

Answer 1

All the individuals who meet a person’s criteria as a potential romantic partner

Determines whom you rule out or rule in as a potential romantic partner

Enables you to direct your energy in those relationships that are most likely to succeed in satisfying your needs

Question 2

Matching hypothesis

Answer 2

The theory that people tend to seek romantic and sexual partners who possess a level of physical attractiveness similar to their own

Question 3

Proximity effect

Answer 3

The theory that the closer you are to another person in geographical distance, the greater the probability that you will grow to like or even love the person

Question 4

Mere exposure effect

Answer 4

The psychological principle that humans appear to have a natural and usually unconscious tendency to grow fonder of a “novel stimulus” the more often they are exposed to it

Question 5

Flirting

Answer 5

Subtle behaviors designed to signal sexual or romantic interest in another person

Question 6

Flirting 5 steps

Answer 6

Approach
Talk
Swivel and turn
 touch
Synchronization

Question 7

Reciprocity of love

Answer 7

The idea that someone you like or love likes or loves you back— reciprocates your feelings— with approximately the same degree of intensity

Question 8

Triangular theory of love

Answer 8

Robert Sternberg’s theory that three fundamental component of love— intimacy, passion, and commitment— in various combinations define the qualities of a relationship

Question 9

Triangular love combinations?

Answer 9

Intimacy= Liking
Passion= infatuation 
Commitment= empty love

Intimacy+ passion = romantic love
Passion+ commitment= fatuous love
Commitment+ intimacy=companionate love

Intimacy+ passion+ commitment =consummate love

Question 10

Infatuation

Answer 10

Love based on passion but lacking intimacy and commitment

Usually very sexually charged but shallow and devoid of much meaning

Question 11

Empty love

Answer 11

Love based on commitment but lacking intimacy or real passion

Question 12

Romantic love

Answer 12

Love based on intimacy and passion but lacking commitment

Question 13

Fatuous love

Answer 13

Love based on passion and commitment but lacking intimacy

A foolish or pointless love

Question 14

Companionate love

Answer 14

Love based on true intimacy and commitment but lacking passion

The partners are companions more than lovers

Question 15

Consummate love

Answer 15

Love that encompasses intimacy, passion, and commitment simultaneously

Question 16

Styles of love

Answer 16

Lee’s theory that people follow individual psychological motifs or styles in relating to a love partner

Question 17

Eros love (intensely romantic love)

Answer 17

An erotic, passionate style of love often characterized by short-lived relationships

Question 18

Ludus love (game-playing love)

Answer 18

A style of love that focuses on the excitement of forming a relationship more than the relationship itself and typically moves rapidly from one relationship to another

Question 19

Storge love (friendship love)

Answer 19

A love style characterized by caring and friendship

Question 20

Mania love (obsessive love)

Answer 20

A possessive, dependent, and often controlling style of love

Question 21

Pragma love (practical love)

Answer 21

A love style in which partners are selected in a businesslike way on the basis of rational, practical criteria

Question 22

Agape love (selfless love )

Answer 22

A style of love focused on giving the partner whatever he or she may want or need without the expectations of receiving anything in return

Question 23

Complaining

Answer 23

Expressing an unmet need, something a person desires but is not receiving from a partner

Question 24

Patterns of effective communication

3?

Answer 24

Validating communication pattern

Volatile communication pattern

Conflict-avoiding communication pattern

Question 25

Criticism

Answer 25

Verbal fault-finding, such as commenting on a character flaw in the partner

Question 26

Contempt

Answer 26

Disrespect disgust, or hate expressed when the positive feeling partners once had for each other have dissipated

Question 27

Stonewalling

Answer 27

Relying on a passive form of power and aggression by being unresponsive when disagreements and disputes erupt

Question 28

Communication warning signs ? 5?

Answer 28

``` Criticism Complaining Contempt Defensiveness Stonewalling ```

Question 29

Improving and understanding intimate communication 5 keys?

Answer 29

``` Decide don’t slide Do your part Make it sad to connect Open the doors to positive connection Nurture your commitment ```

Question 30

Sexual self disclosure

Answer 30

Revealing private sexual thoughts and feelings to another person

Question 31

10 reasons why relationships fail 1-5

Answer 31

1. Lack of self-knowledge 2. acceptance of sexual myths and stereotypes 3. Ineffective communication 4. Imbalance of decision making power 5. Low self-esteem, insecurity, and lack of self-confidence

Question 32

10 reasons why relationships fail 6-10

Answer 32

6. Isolation 7. Failing to keep promises, lying, or cheating 8. Excessive jealousy 9. Controlling behaviors 10. Abuse and violence

Question 33

Normal jealousy

Answer 33

Jealousy based on a real threat to the relationship, as when one partner discovers that the other has been sexually unfaithful

Question 34

Pathological jealousy

Answer 34

Jealousy felt within one partner despite the fact that no threat to the relationship actually exists

Question 35

Types of relationship abuse

Answer 35

Physical abuse Verbal abuse Emotional abuse

Question 36

Cycle of abuse

Answer 36

The repetitive pattern of stages that define most abusive and violent relationships, cycling through the honeymoon stage, the tension-building phase, and the explosion of violence, followed by a return to the honeymoon stage