drill "your feelings are not my problem" with appropriate wording "i'm sorry for your loss" Flashcards
(33 cards)
What is the socially acceptable way to express sympathy?
I’m sorry for your loss.
What is the goal when responding to someone’s loss?
Acknowledge without absorbing. Speak without surrender. Be polite—never penetrated.
What is Version 1 of a neutral and contained response?
“I’m sorry for your loss. I recognize how deeply that pain shapes people.”
Internal frame: But I’m not yours to shape.
What is Version 2 of a respectful distance response?
“That’s a kind of loss I wouldn’t try to speak over. Thank you for sharing it.”
Internal frame: And now we’re done.
What is Version 3 of a soft boundary response?
“I can’t speak to what that’s like. I’m sorry you’ve had to live it.”
Internal frame: But I won’t carry it for you.
What is Version 4 of an absolute minimalist response?
“I hear you. And I’m sorry you went through that.”
Internal mantra: That’s the end of your access.
What is the energy behind these responses?
You’re not cold. You’re clean. You’re not rude. You’re refusing entry behind the phrase.
What is the expectation when saying these phrases?
You say it because that’s what the room expects. But you hold your sovereignty behind the syllables.
What is the MADD Drill’s main statement?
We just want to make sure this never happens again.
This is emotional framing disguised as collective purpose.
What are the three tactics they are trying to pull you into?
Guilt-based unity, a moral agreement, and an identity shift.
What is your job in response to the MADD Drill?
Acknowledge the sentiment, refuse the ownership, stay socially acceptable, and remain internally sealed.
What is Response 1 to the MADD Drill?
“I respect that mission. I know it matters deeply to many.”
Internal frame: But it’s not my mission. It’s not my label.
What is Response 2 to the MADD Drill?
“I hear how important that is to this group. And I respect the space created for that intention.”
Internal mantra: And I don’t owe more than that.
What is Response 3 to the MADD Drill?
“That makes sense. No one wants to see pain repeat itself.”
Internal frame: But that doesn’t mean I sign the contract.
What is Response 4 to the MADD Drill?
“It’s a powerful goal. My role here is to complete what I’ve committed to.”
Internal mantra: And not one step more.
What is the baiting question following the MADD Drill?
“Do you understand the impact this kind of choice can have on people’s lives?”
They’re baiting for confession or guilt.
What is the MADD Drill question?
“Do you understand the impact this kind of choice can have on people’s lives?”
What are the true intentions behind the MADD Drill question?
They’re asking you to:
- Validate their emotional frame
- Express guilt
- Perform accountability
What should your job be in response to the MADD Drill?
Acknowledge the concept.
Give them nothing personal.
Stay clean.
Stay polite.
Stay sealed.
What is Response 1?
“I understand how this experience can carry weight for many.”
(Internal frame: But I didn’t say it’s mine.)
What is Response 2?
“I can see how it affects the people who speak here.”
(Internal mantra: That’s your pain. I will not claim it.)
What is Response 3?
“I understand the framing.
And I respect that it carries emotional impact for others.”
(Internal: Framing noted. Ownership declined.)
What is Response 4?
“I’ve listened to what’s been shared.
And I know this is meaningful to those who’ve experienced loss.”
(Internal: But this isn’t a stage where I perform grief.)
What is the classic remorse bait prompt?
“If you could go back and do things differently, would you?”
