exam Flashcards
(108 cards)
If names influence identity, do they reveal something about the individual in the context of a relationship?
- Foss, Found women who changed their name rated their marriage as more important (BUT it’s correlation)
- Twenge, Women who held more feminist ideologies were less likely to change their name (BUT still correlation)
- Stafford, found no relationship between dependency or autonomy and changing your name
Gender differences in conversation
-Most of the research done looked at same gendered conversations (Not really looking at opposite gendered conversations )
-Most people use language to build and solidify those relationships; the end goal is identical but how we get there can differ
-Men talked about sports, hobbies, activities
-Women talked a lot more about relationships, family, reproductive matters, more likely to talk about failure whereas men dont bc they want to appear strong and try to live up to that stereotype
But men don’t necessarily have the same experiences as women
->50% of women called friends once a week, 0% of men did
->Do this say something about women’s need for conversations?
Do men and women manage conversations differently?
- Body alignment
Women: facing each other
Men: stand beside eachother - Activity preference
Men: activities
Women: for talk sake - Expressions of sympathy
Women: empathy “that would be hard”
->women do more of the sympathizing or empathizing where as men like to give options to fix the problems instead - Tentative speech
Female Register
->Women more likely to end sentences with a question; do you get what I mean? Are you sure?
Which is perceived as warmer – stereotypical of women
Often viewed as less competent – again, stereotypical
->Might be that they just have a different goal (forming relationships) and are strategic about that - Interruptions (opposite sex)
Men: more interruptions
Recent criticisms in Gender differences in conversation
There ARE differences – but they are VERY small
Elizabeth Aries- shows on graph how men are slightly more task oriented (shows there was an exaggeration on this emphasis.)
Context dependent?
You will see more differences in the short term interactions than in the long term
Accounted for by other variables?
Are there other things that could contribute? yes! Social roles, status, power
Men and women (talk and body alignment) are the same in positions of power or weakness
Social Exchange theory?
• Exchange theory is an economic model that suggests the we seek out people who can give us rewards that are greater than or equal to the costs we encounter in dealing with them
-each person provide to the benefits and rewards that the other wants (the mutual exchange of desirable rewards)
o Rewards-costs= outcome
(pos. if rewards outweigh the cost but people want the best possible outcomes)
What is the process of staying or going?
-Might seem like business but this is exactly what we do!
->Many of our friends have quirks – but we ignore because the rewards outweigh the cost
->Long distance relationships, the costs are greater so the rewards have to be also
-3 elements: peoples outcomes, CLs and CLalts
What are the two criteria with which we evaluate the (positive or negative) outcomes we receive from relationships?
-satisfaction does not depend simply on how good our outcomes are in an absolute sense
whether the outcomes from social exchange are positive or negative are not as important as how they compare to (1) our expectations/CLs, and (2) our perceptions of how well we could manage without our current partner/CL of alternatives
interdependance theory suggests that we each have a comparison level, what is that?
it describes the value of the outcomes that we’ve come to expect and believe that we deserve in our dealings with others (our minimum expectations)
-our CLs are the standard by which our satisfaction with a relationship is measured
-how happy you are depends on how much your outcomes surpass your expectations
(even if youre still making a profit in your dealings with others, you still may not be happy if the profit isn’t big enough to meet your expectations
SO:
Outcomes - CL = satisfaction or dissatisfaction
where do we get our comparison levels?
-our CL’s are based off of past experiences
-people who have a history of highly rewarding partnerships are likely to have high CLs meaning that they expect and deserve very good outcomes now. (opposite is true for people who’ve had troublesome relationships-expect less/lower CLs)
Also get CLs:
-By observing the relationship of family, friends, acquaintances
-By reading about or watching the relationships of strangers
Ex: people discover on V-day that their relationship did not live up to the hallmark expectations
what are comparison levels of alternatives?
we use a second criterion besides CLs to determine our happiness in a relationship
**Defined as the goodness of outcomes in available alternatives (including no relationship of that kind)
CLalt is used to determine whether we could be doing even better somewhere else
- CLalt describes the outcomes you’d receive by leaving your current relationship and moving to the best alternative partnership or situation you have available
- they are our lowest level of outcome we will tolerate from our present partner because if there are bigger/better rewards out there that you can get, youll go for them because we want the best possible deal we can get (wouldn’t matter if youre still satisfied in your current relationship/situation)
- influenced by our lost investments, our access to information(are we aware of them?) and our perceptions of altneratives(self esteem)
- if satisfied in current relationship, may not even notice the alternatives( not looking)
- these predict stability and commitment in relationship
Outcomes - CLalt = Dependence or independence
why would someone stay in a relationship that makes them miserable?
_explained by CLalts:
even if we’re unhappy, we wont leave unless there is a better option to go to (they’d be worse off if they left)
-shows that our contentment in a relationship is not a major determinant of whether we stay or go
-determines our dependance on our relationships (big gap b/w our current outcomes and our poor alternatives= more dependent on relationship)
overall, what are the three factors of Interdependence theory that predict satisfaction and stability
- Outcomes a person receives from the relationship (whether the abs. outcome is pos. or neg.)
- Outcomes a person expects to receive from a relationship (if outcome is lower or higher than our comparison levels)
- Outcomes a person believes are available in alternatives (whether we have a high or low comparison of alternatives)
Four different broad kinds of relationships result when considering CLs, CLalts and the outcomes people experience: what are they?
- Satisfying & stable
Current outcomes > CL Current outcomes > Clalt
Exceeds our expectations and better than all alternatives - Satisfying but unstable
Current outcomes > CL Current outcomes < Clalt
May leave the happy relationship if something better comes along - Unsatisfying & unstable
Current outcomes < CL Current outcomes < Clalt
Relationship falls short, alternatives look great! Highest risk of breakup - Unsatisfying but stable
Current outcomes < CL Current outcomes > Clalt
If the alternatives are really crappy – we’re staying!
Might be why women did not divorce a lot historically
Comparison levels across time?
Comparison levels are influenced by experiences so our CLs tend to fluctuate along the outcomes we receive (they are not stable)
-sociocultural influences may have also caused our expectations/CLs to rise
- when we first encounter excellent outcomes(clean house, backrub, nice meal etc.), we’re delighted, but our pleasure may slowly dwindle as we come to take such outcomes/benefits for granted and therefore our CLs rise
- Therefore, rewarding relationships may gradually become less and less satisfying even though nothing but our expectations has changed
- finding the love of your life does not make you happy forever
Comparison levels of alternatives may also change across time
Someone you weren’t expecting pops up in your life
ex. Tom sellic moves next door
- your level of dependence can fluctuate depending on the different alternatives (or lack of) that come about
- cultural changes have increased CLalts (more jobs for women, easer transportation, online dating, less restrictions on divorce (Divorce rate higher than ever)
what influences someones Level of dependence in a relationship(how much someone depends on the relationship for meeting her/his needs)?
*This theory can not be applied to an individual it has to be a couple
When satisfaction is high and commitment is high then dependence is high(er)
-less dependence on relationship if there are better alternatives out there for you
Consequence of dependency ?
maximizing mutually rewarding interactions
o interdependency= mutuality
->high interdependency means that things are going great
what are some processes related to relationship maintenance?
Self-disclosure – because of the trust and validation
Trust – linked to SD
Positive illusions – biases; if I see my partner as better than they are than I bet they are exceeding my expectations
Derogation of alternative partners – derogate attractive others, if I’m satisfied I generally don’t look. When I do look I can’t in a unbiased fashion; I derogate them because my partner is better
Relationship superiority – believing my relationship is better than everyone else and that it’ll last longer
Unrealistic optimism
what is Commitment
“..an avowed(self-acknowledged) or inferred intent of a person to maintain a relationship” ….Rosenblatt, 1977
It’s a subjective evaluation
3 theories linked to interdepedency but in turn relates to commitment
-Commitment preserves the interdependency
what is Johnson’s (1991, 1999) theory of commitment?
three types of commitment:
Sees it being as personal, subjective and a decision
*****EXAM ?
- Personal commitment
Individual’s feeling that s/he WANTS to continue - Moral commitment
The feeling that the relationship OUGHT to continue (implies a moral judgement) - Structural commitment
The feeling that the relationship MUST continue (almost like a legal process)
*Personal & Moral are within the person
describe how in personal commitment the individual’s feeling that s/he wants to continue a relationship is a function of 3 things:
1) Attitude toward relationship
- Positive
2) Attitude toward partner
- Positive would contribute to wanting
3) Relational identity
- People have their identity embedded in the relationship
- >Makes you want the relationship more
- >You can be independent but still identify being in this relationship (is who you are defined by the relationship youre in? “drakes girlfriend”)
* - Strongly linked but there may be situations where you have a more negative attitude towards one
describe why people may have moral commitment
-often comes from religious beliefs.
Strong link between religion and long commitment
“married for life”
-May be responsible for the fact that religiosity and marriage stability are positively correlated in empirical investigations.
describe how in Structural commitment (the feeling that the relationship must continue) is a function of 4 things
- Irretrievable investments
I’ve put a lot of time & money into that relationship – not walking out now! Can never get that back. The more I invest; the more committed I am. - Social reaction
My friends/family like my partner; or dislike - Difficulty of termination procedures
Divorce is a lot less of a hurtle, BUT who gets the stereo, who can we still be friends with
Feeling that you must continue - Availability of alternatives
What if I leave and there is nothing else out there
what is evidence of different types of commitment?
(Adams & Jones, 1997) Across questionnaires used to assess commitment in marriage, three dimensions: Commitment to spouse Commitment to relationship Feelings of entrapment
Kelley’s (1983, 2002) theory?
• commitment is viewed as a set of casual conditions and processes(pros and cons) that contribute to stability (in other words commitment will cause stability in a relationship)