Final Class 1-3 Flashcards
(118 cards)
What do we mean by family is a flexible concept?
Because there are different types!
Nuclear,
Single parent families
Two parent families
Blended families
Divorced families
Adopted families
Foster families
LGBTQ2A+ families
Extended families
Polygamous families
What is a found/chosen family?
Why does it happen?
- It is a group of people, unrelated to your family who you are close with, tied together more then a regular group of friends.
All shared the same background: distant or no family. - Well, we don’t have to same experience with family. Some may have a + relationship with them so may have a (-) relationship.
Name and explain four main concepts about the importance of family?
- Caregiving: -attachment style - hoepfully secure. Meeting basic needs for children: physical necessities, learning, self-respect, peer relationships, harmony and stability.
- Socialization:
a. Teaching social skills from parents but sibling can influence.
b. Integration into society: making sure they have friends to play with, going to school. Parents’ job to make sure their child have social experience. It can be extracurricular activities too. - Rituals and Routiness:
a. rituals:
- Religious observance: christmas
- Family celebrations: celebrating achievement.
- Rites of passage (ex. Communion, driving liscence)
b. routines:
Day-to-day activities: you want to train kids for a long time. When you are small, the world is very big. Routine helps predictability is safe for the child, helps with security, protective, less fearful. Kids up to high school. Helps with kids self-regulation too. Adults have a role to set their children up to success. - Stories: shared history.
Transmission of family values
Reinforcement of family bonds
Storytelling families
Note: Attachment requires effort. Difficult to quantify.
Shared history: in this family we help each other, or we like to do things with our hands, helps feeling connected.
Family bonds: very hard with a foster kids for instance.
Ex. repeating the same bedtime stories, that your grandma told your mom who told you. Helps with the connection.
what is the family system thoery? couple system? and its impact on a child.
Family system: Interconnections between different family relationships
Examples:
Marital
Parent-Child
Siblings
Couple system:
When parents support each other, more likely to also support the child
Model appropriate and healthy relationships
Married, to a couple. The adults raising the children.
Even if the parent are separated if they are still taking care of each other, more likely to support well their children.
Adults respects and care for each others = kids are more likely to have this expectation towards their future relationships.
Let’s discuss parental conflict. What are direct and indirect effects?
- Direct effects: inward. (I’m the problem)
Watching conflict
Poorer mental health, more likely to blame self
Tension, kids feel the ‘vibe’. If we are stressed out = take a toll physically and psychologically.
At a young age, kids are egocentric, trouble to understand the situation so they think the conflict is about them. Even as adult if they have trouble to regulate might think like that.
- Indirect effects (outward) (mad, react loudly, mimic what they).
Effect of ongoing conflict on parenting practices
Children tend to have difficulty interacting with and regulating conflict with others
try to do something to get attention. Act out to get attention. Even at school, we don’t teach social skills because prof teach academic info only… and at home the child might not have the support to learn… snowball effect. = mimic the adults.
describe the graph of parental conflict - indirect effect
Hostile marital conflict–> child emotional insecurity –> child behavior problems.
Indirect effects of parental conflict- discuss social learning theory. attachment theory (how would they feel toward their family), cogniitve theory
Social learning theory:
Learning behaviour from parents and replicating in other relationships
If the parent react with hostility, kid will mimic it to their siblings or friends (they won’t necessarily know why)
Mimic = don’t know how to apply it appropriately.
Attachment theory:
-Children experience emotional arousal and distress
-Leads to emotional insecurity
-Leads to poorer relationships with others – internal model of attachment
Cognitive theory:
- understand conflict.
-Conflict is threatening: withdrawn – internalizing disorders. Less problem solving
-Conflict is due to child: act out – externalizing disorders
Children won’t understand the conflict, nor the motivation behind it. What they understand, people are upset. Try to have either two explanation: 1. This is scary and i can’t control the conflict so they will try to control everything about them (internalizing disorders - anxiety, scare to trigger conflict, control their food etc.) 2. If the conflict is about me, but I’m being blamed for something i don’t know i did… so externalized disorders: i’m gonna fight too, conduct disorders. Really hard time with regulation and socialization.
Discuss three concepts under parenting?
Socialization
Discipline: not punishment. It is setting boundaries. Kids are not necessarily good at long-term thinking. Ex. can’t let a kid eat candies for dinner every day.
Modelling: think about the worst case scenario: conflict. But it is also about ’saying thank you’ (explicit thinking), Implicit: you put your shoes when going outside the house so your kid do it too. Kid are watching you.
How do we define parenting style?
Parenting behaviours and attitudes that set the climate for parent-child relationships.
It is flexible
Two dimensions:
-Warmth and responsiveness
-Parental control and demandingness
What is Diana Baumrind (1973) graph?
Role of the Family I slide29
Discuss one of the four parenting style: authoritative.
- Authoritative (the best). (gentle parenting is an adaption of that).
High demandingness and high warmth/responsiveness. Allow autonomy – respect and consider children’s perspective
kids:
-High social and academic competence
-Self-reliant/ independent
-Good relationships with others
-Copes well with stress
Balance between boundaries and autonomy.
Ex. you can’t go outside at night at 10 o clock. Vs. you trying it out and something bad happens. But yes, you can go to the sleep over… flexibility with boundaries and easier to explain + child do not feel uncertain. They can ask help but they understand how far they can go with the limits.
Benefits of authoritative parenting
-Self-reliance and independence
-Intellectual development
-Better attachment with caregiver
—> kids better self regulate later on and have better attachment bound.
Discuss one of the four parenting style: authoritarian.
High demandingness and low responsiveness. (high risk for abuse. Also sneaky kid)
-Oriented towards obedience and authority
–Enforced through parental power and use of threats and punishment
-Give children less autonomy
-Non-responsive to child’s needs
‘My way or the highway’.
‘I tell them what to do because I want them to be safe’ but kids are experience learner… they need to learn it. This type of parenting fails to provide autonomy. The child follow the rules but not because they understand…. Because there is threat (ex. I won’T love you)
Ex. i can’t return home before curfew, I have a flat. Authoritative… ‘ i get it’ now ‘no, you should have plan for it’.
-High risk for abuse and maltreatment
-Unhappy, moody, fearful
-Low self-confidence, low self-regulation
-Greater risk of hostility and deceit
-Aggression and withdrawal
-Poorer social/academic outcomes
If they fail the parents can get upset and punish them? Kid ‘I work so hard and I got one B is this is what I get’? They dont try to achieve success for themselves but for their parents.
what is permissive parenting?
-High responsiveness and low demandingness
-Responsive to child needs
-Do not require children to regulate themselves
-High risk for impulsivity and criminality in children
-Lack of self regulation
If the kids to whatever they want: ‘no learning about boundaries, limits’ and their a fit. As an adult… still do it…
No impulse control.
Kourtney K ‘s kids. Biting nannies…
-Lack of self regulation
-Aggression, noncompliance
-Quick anger
-Lack of goals and aspirations
-High risk for impulsivity and criminality in children
What is uninvolved parenting?
Low demandingness and low responsiveness
Do not set limits
Rejecting or neglectful
Focused on own needs
High risk for abuse and neglect
Antisocial behaviour and internalizing disorders
Low self-esteem
Poor social skills
Note: Kids will ask for attention and the parents will react in anger.
→ nobody care about me so why would I care about others? Survival mode.
Parents expect their children to raise themselves
Graph abut parenting style and child characteristics
Authoritative: energetic-friendly
Authoritarian: Conflicted-Irritable
Permissive: Impulsive-Aggressive
Uninvolved: Impulse-Aggressive-Noncompliant-Moody
Why do different parenting styles occur?
Quality of couple system: if there is unresolved conflict.
Parental personalities: Extraverted vs intro.
Parental mental health: if struggle or lack support = difficulty to help their child.
Parental education : Doesn’t mean they are ‘bad’, it can increase their risk to have trouble with their children
Financial resources: Lack of time with their kids.
A lot of these issues would be resolved with the government would financially help the families more.
Discuss gender stereotype
Male: breadwinner, seen as the authority
Female: caring, stay at home etc.
When you step out of this, the world is very different.
Man if they are close to their child: seen a too close… giving up your career.
Female: if you work… what about your child?
Discuss the role of sibling system? and birth orders.
A very unique relationship
Peers
‘Extra parent’
Rivals
Birth order
Eldest:
Adult oriented
Helpful
Self-controlled, conscientious
Later children:
Less fearful
Better coping mechanisms
More self-confidence
Birth order: Sibling interactions
Caregiving
Social learning
–Good behaviours
–Poorer behaviours
Protectiveness
What is parentification?
A child is obliged to act as a parent to their own parent or sibling
Instrumental parentification: kid need to bring their younger siblings to schools, medical appointments,
Emotional parentification: taking care of others
why are some kids more popular then others? i
what are some traits that are less likely to be popular…
Children that are cooperative and friendly tend to be more well-liked
With age, power imbalances can begin to influence popularity
Neurodivergent, shyness, can struggle with this.
What affects peer acceptance?
6 POINTS
- Behavior.
- Biological predispositions 🡪 temperament.
Anxious - behavioural inhibition kids - Socio-cognitive skills:
If i’m rude to someone I can hurt their feeling. Very difficult for neurodivergent kid because they won’t understand why. - Goals: Tends to match with people who have the same interests.
- Physical appearance:
We are bias. We want to make friends with people who dress better. - Blending in :
Ability to blend in. if you are different can make you stand out which is bad. Ex. you need to teach your kid about disability.
What are two types of popularity?
- Sociometric popularity 🡪 how well-liked the individual is
–Usually linked to social skills - Perceived popularity 🡪 how much status the individual has
–Determined by norms
–Ever changing
What happened when a child is unpopular & what type of behavior can occur?
(3 points)
Neglected 🡪 Ignored but not openly rejected
Aggressive-rejected 🡪 Disliked because of their aggression
Poor emotional regulation. If they don’t like me, why should I like them? outwards.
Withdrawn-rejected 🡪 Disliked because of their shyness. Inwards.