Judaism: Marriage ✅ Flashcards

1
Q

Explain the significance to the individual by Observing Mitzot law as a result of their Jewish marriage. + two quotes

A
  • Certain mitzvot only apply to married couples, e.g. having children (a boy and girl)
  • If possible, one should try and have as many children as possible
  • “He did not create [the world] for a waste, he formed it to be inhabited” (Isaiah 45:18)
  • “Adding a Jewish soul is equal to building an entire world” (Jewish scholars/sages)
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2
Q

Definition: Tallit

A

Prayer shawl

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3
Q

Definition: The honour of being called up to read the Torah in a synagogue

A

The Aliyah

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4
Q

List the five significance’s for the community through Jewish marriage

A
  • The home is the basic unit for the Jewish community
  • New voices are added to the Jewish community
  • It is a commitment to the Jewish community and its preservation
  • It provides a sense of identity and community
  • It provides community experience of the tradition through ritual
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5
Q

Definition: Jewish matchmaker

A

Shadchan

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6
Q

Definition: The Aliyah

A

The honour of being called up to read the Torah in a synagogue

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7
Q

Definition: Simultaneous receptions held by the bride and groom, for the guests.

A

Tisch

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8
Q

What happens during the bedekken?

A
  • After the tisch, the groom is escorted by all the members of his tisch to the bridal reception area.
  • The groom approaches the bridal throne and covers the bride’s face with a ‘dektich’ (veil).
  • He is then escorted back to his reception room to prepare for the chuppah ceremony (public marriage ceremony).
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9
Q

How does the covenant life in marriage connect to the beliefs of Judaism? + Quote

A
  • Jewish marriage is also a complex legal arrangement by which the man and woman make a mutually binding commitment. The rituals and customs of Jewish marriage come from the spiritual themes and from its legal requirements.
  • Jews believe that marriage is a contractual bond between the husband, wife and God.
  • Marriage is a reaffirmation of the Covenant with God, represented by the chassan, and the Jewish people, represented by the kallah.
  • “Making a reaffirmation with another human being is part of fulfilling our covenant with God.” (What does Judaism say about marriage? Page 25)
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10
Q

Definition: Dektich

A

Wedding veil

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11
Q

Definition: Wedding veil

A

Dektich

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12
Q

Outline the significance of forming a sense of identity and community as a result of marriage

A

• Marriage rituals and Jewish values lived out within the family create links between past, present, and future generations

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13
Q

List the four pre-marriage rituals

A
  • Matchmaker
  • The Aliyah
  • Mikvah
  • Fasting
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14
Q

Quote - The Tallit

A

“If a man shall take a woman… you shall make for yourself fringes” (Deut 22)

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15
Q

Definition: Is yiddish for the veiling ceremony.

A

Bedekken

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16
Q

Definition: Niddah

A

Ritual impurity while the wife is menstruating

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17
Q

Definition: The ceremonial circling

A

Hakafot

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18
Q

Definition: A canopy with 4 open sides under which a wedding ceremony takes place.

A

Chuppah

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19
Q

Definition: Tallit

A

Prayer shawl

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20
Q

Definition: Hakafot

A

The ceremonial circling

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21
Q

Definition: Ben Din

A

A rabbinical court, usually consisting of three judges responsible for making judgement on matters of halalach.

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22
Q

What is the significance of the ring?

A
  • The chassan (groom) places a gold ring on the forefinger of the Kallah’s (bride) hand saying:
    “Behold you are consecrated to me with this right according to the Law of Moses and Israel”
  • There is no need for a response from the Kallah as the physical acceptance of the ring is shows she accepts the contractual agreement
  • Non-Orthodox Jewish marriages sometimes have a reciprocal ring given to the groom and she makes a statement; A common statement being:
    “I am my lover’s and my lover is mine” (Song of Solomon 6:3)
  • The couple is formally married at this point.
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23
Q

Definition: Religious Court

A

Ben Din

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24
Q

Definition: Bride

A

Kallah

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25
Q

Outline the pre-marriage ritual of fasting

A
  • Depending on the community most Jewish couples fast on the day of their wedding
  • This is to atone for any sins.
  • The couple may eat again after the wedding ceremony.
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26
Q

Definition: A rabbinical court, usually consisting of three judges responsible for making judgement on matters of halalach.

A

Ben Din

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27
Q

Definition: Chassan

A

Groom

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28
Q

Definition: Tzitzit

A

Specially knotted ritual fringes, or tassels found on a tallit (prayer shawl)

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29
Q

Outline the significance of a commitment to the Jewish community and its preservation as a result of marriage

A
  • Marriage is a spiritual union. It connects people more closely to the covenant and reflects relationships between God and the Jewish people.
  • Marriage is a commitment to the Jewish community and its preservation as the Chosen People of the Covenant.
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30
Q

Outline the significance of new voices being added to the Jewish community as a result of marriage

A
  • Celibacy has little importance in Jewish communities and opinions of single people are seldom valued.
  • Married couples are added to the community to speak on issues relevant to the community and to society in general.
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31
Q

What happens during the Kallah’s Tisch?

A
  • This is usually the livelier one.
  • The bride sits on an attractive throne surrounded by her attendants, family, friends etc.
  • She receives guests and well wishes, as musicians play, and friends play.
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32
Q

Definition: A raised platform in the synagogue where services are led

A

Bimah

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33
Q

Definition: Shadchan

A

Jewish matchmaker

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34
Q

Definition: Ceremony

A

Nissuin

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35
Q

What is the significance of the ketubah?

A
  • Marriage contract
  • It includes:
    - Husband’s obligations and responsibilities to his
    - wife
    - inheritance information
    - requirements should the couple divorce.
  • It is the spiritual connection both parties have with the traditions and beliefs of Judaism. It is an affirmation of the stated responsibilities of God’s love and justice to the people of israel.
  • Reform Jews typically do not have a ketubah and simply replace it with a marriage certificate.
  • It is signed immediately before the marriage ceremony and is witnessed by two people.
  • The ketubah reminds the couple to protect each other with insurance, wills, trusts, and other documents of financial security.
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36
Q

Definition: Prayer shawl

A

Tallit

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37
Q

Definition: Get

A

A formal Jewish bill of divorce

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38
Q

How does the fulfilment of commandments in marriage connect to the beliefs of Judaism? + Quote

A

• Jews believe that marriage is a religious duty that is central to Jewish life. To marry and have children is the first command given in the Torah. God’s command to be fruitful and multiply is regarded as one of the greatest mitzvot.
“Be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:27)
• When the prophet Hosea wrote about his marriage to Gomer, he likened God’s relationship with his people as a marriage and Israel as his bride.
• The Talmud says them a man presents himself in the after-world, he will be asked three questions:
- Did you trade in good faith?
- Did you set time for study?
- Did you raise a family

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39
Q

Quote - Divorce

A

“The very altar weeps when a man divorces the wife of his youth” (rabbinic saying)

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40
Q

What are the six ways Jewish marriage demonstrates the beliefs of Judaism?

A
  1. Fulfilment of commandments
  2. Completion and wholeness
  3. Path to sanctification (kiddushin)
  4. Covenant life
  5. Preserves the Jewish nation
  6. Expresses beliefs through ritual
41
Q

How does the preservation of the Jewish nation in marriage connect to the beliefs of Judaism? + Quote

A
  • Jews are expected to marry Jews.
  • For Orthodox Jews, an interfaith marriage constitutes a violation of the covenant because it introduces a gentile partner into the relationship.
  • “You shall not intermarry with them [gentiles]” Deuteronomy
42
Q

Definition: Bimah

A

A raised platform in the synagogue where services are led

43
Q

Definition: Wedding jeseter

A

Badhan

44
Q

Definition: Is a bath used by Jews for ritual cleaning, or spiritual cleansing

A

Mikvah

45
Q

Outline the process Isaac and Rebekah underwent to go married.

A
  1. Contract/Betrothal
    - An offer of marriage is proposed. The offer is accepted and Rebekah is married by contract.
    - Rebekah is asked if she consents to the marriage.
    - Gifts and money are given both to the bride and the parents of the bride.
  2. Ceremony/Consummation
    - Rebekah and Isaac go into the tent
  3. Celebration
    - There is no mention of a wedding feast, but one likely happened according to the accounts of Jacob’s marriage to Leah and Rachel.

NOTE: In the time of these historical Jewish marriages, these stages occurred over the course of many years (depending on the contract ect.). Today, these three stages are combined into one ceremony.

46
Q

Definition: Bedekken

A

Is yiddish for the veiling ceremony.

47
Q

Definition: Mikvah

A

Is a bath used by Jews for ritual cleaning, or spiritual cleansing

48
Q

Explain the significance to the individual of a new identity as a result of their Jewish marriage.

A
  • Because marriage is a divine union, he/she takes mutual responsibility for the other’s physical and emotional wellbeing
  • Two individuals gain a new identity, status, and voice within the Jewish community
  • Prior to marriage, they were individuals from seperate families, now they’ve created a new family responsible for each other, their children and the Jewish nation.
49
Q

Quote - Children taking care of their parents

A

“See that they [your parents] eat and drink, and take them where they need to go” (Talmud)

50
Q

What is the significance of the Hakafot?

A
  • Circling
  • This is the tradition of the bride circling the groom seven times
  • This is seen as the bride creating a wall of protection around the groom
  • Some couples today circle each other to symbolise equality, especially in reformed Judaism.
51
Q

Where are Jewish marriage customs grounded?

A

The 613 Mitzvot and the Talmud.

52
Q

Definition: Kallah

A

Bride

53
Q

Outline the significance of children and parenting for a married Jewish couple.

A
  • It is commanded for a Jewish married couple to have children. A family is considered complete when they have one male and female child. One who does not fulfil this mitzvah to have children is considered analogous to a murder for he has depleted life.
  • Jewish values are central to family life and often protect them from many broken family situations e.g. Shabbat
  • Parents are expected to feed, clothe and educate their children and see they can support themselves
  • Children are expected to take care of their parents
  • Naturally, parents are only human and sometimes make mistakes. Judaism insists that children are to be as tactful as possible when pointing out their parent’s wrongdoings.
54
Q

Definition: Nissuin

A

Ceremony

55
Q

Quote - Chuppa

A

“Gather the people, consecrate the assembly; bring together the elders, gather the children… Let the bridegroom leave his room, and the bride her chamber.” (Joel 2:16)

56
Q

How does Path of sanctification in marriage connect to the beliefs of Judaism?

A
  • Sanctification in Judaism is described as kiddushin which is the blessing of marriage.
  • Fulfilling God’s mitzvot to marry enables a Jewish couple to express holiness in their daily lives.
  • Because kiddushin is sanctification, it signifies that the couple is raised to a new level of holiness as God is a part of their home.
  • Marriage sanctifies the relationship of husband and wife and establishes their obligations to each other, the Jewish people and God.
57
Q

Quote - Hakafot

A

“A woman encompasses a man” (Jeremiah 31:22)

58
Q

On what grounds can a wife appeal for a divorce?

A

A Jewish religious court can compel the husband to grant a divorce when there is a just case, such as when a husband refuses to have marital relations, when he doesn’t not provide adequately for her support, when he is unfaithful etc.

59
Q

What stories in the Bible is Jewish marriage based off?

A

Isaac and Rebekah and Jacob and Leah

60
Q

Definition: Kiddushin

A

Betrothal

61
Q

Definition: Sheva Brachot

A

Seven wedding blessings

62
Q

Definition: Yichud

A

The few minutes that the Chassan and Kallah spend alone together immediately after the wedding ceremony.

63
Q

Definition: Marriage contract

A

Ketubah

64
Q

What happens during the Chassan’s Tisch?

A
  • It is held at a table full of food and drinks.
  • Seated adjacent to the groom is his father, and the bride’s father, who are surrounded by rabbis. Around the table are male guests, relatives and friends of the groom who toast the groom and sing.
  • In many Hasidic circles, a ‘badhan’ (wedding jester) is employed to entertain the assembled guests by toasting the groom in rhymed couplets sung in traditional tunes.
  • The most crucial procedure at the groom’s reception is the completion of the marriage contract (Ketubah), which is carefully reviewed by the rabbi, to ensure that the details are correct.
65
Q

Quote - Two quotes about the Importance of getting married

A

“Any man who has no wife is no proper man” (Yebamoth 63a)

“A man who has no wife is doomed to an existence without joy” (Yevamot 62b)

66
Q

What are the six significant applications/benefits of the individual in relation to the marriage ceremony?

A
  • A New Identity
  • Personal Yom Kippur
  • Mitzvot Observances
  • Roles and Responsibilities
  • Relationship with Spouse’s Parents
  • Experience of Marriage Rituals
67
Q

Outline the significance of Niddah

A
  • Judaism strictly forbid sexual relations during menstruation.
  • From the time of her period starts until she has immersed in a mikvah or ritual bath, a wife is in a state of ‘niddah’ or seperated from her husband; it is never less than 12 days.
  • To an outsider, this may seem as though it would put a strain on the relationship, however couples often find the reverse is true. In being separated, they learn how to express their love in non-physical ways and when they are reunited their bond is stronger than before.
68
Q

Definition: Betrothal

A

Kiddushin

69
Q

Definition: Badhan

A

Wedding jeseter

70
Q

Outline the pre-marriage ritual of the ‘Mikvah’

A
  • Is a bath used by Jews for ritual cleaning, or spiritual cleansing
  • In the week before the wedding, the kallah (bride) visits the mikvah. There, the Kallah immerses herself in the water, while saying a special prayer. This spiritually cleanses her so that she can enter the marriage relationship in a state of purity.
  • For the Kallah, the ritual mikvah is the gateway to her future life. (an act of ritual purification, marking life’s transitions)
71
Q

Definition: Tisch

A

Simultaneous receptions held by the bride and groom, for the guests.

72
Q

Definition: Chuppah

A

A canopy with 4 open sides under which a wedding ceremony takes place.

73
Q

How does completion and wholeness in marriage connect to the beliefs of Judaism? + Quote

A
  • Jews are obligated to seek out a person who will bring them completeness. Based in the second account of creation, it is the belief that the husband and wife join together to form a single soul. Without each other, they are spiritually incomplete.
  • “Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24)
74
Q

Explain the significance to the individual of a personal Yom Kippur as a result of their Jewish marriage.

A

• The Jewish individual experiences a personal Yom Kippur (most spiritual holiday of the Jewish calendar) on their wedding day. On this day, all sins are forgiven.

75
Q

Definition: The few minutes that the Chassan and Kallah spend alone together immediately after the wedding ceremony.

A

Yichud

76
Q

Describe the wedding attire and its significance

A

The veil

  • Traditionally used to symbolise the woman covering her face in public with a veil during the year between the traditional kiddushin (betrothal) and nissun (ceremony)
  • It symbolically represents the added level of modesty the bride is expected to adopt with the elevated position of married state.
  • It also symbolises the fact that the beauty of the bride is reserved for the husband alone
  • Some people also see the veil as something that takes the value of physical beauty and places emphasis on character and the heart.
  • It also symbolises Rebeka veiling her face before her marriage to Isaac.

Tallit

  • Prayer shawl. It is a large rectangular shawl made of cotton, wool or synthetic fibres. In each four corners are strings tied in a particular pattern called a ‘tzitzit’
  • This is given to the groom by the bride for the daily prayers after marriage.
77
Q

Outline the significance of the smashing of the glass

A
  • An empty glass is then wrapped in a napkin and placed under the groom’s right foot, he then breaks it as a symbol of the destruction of the first and second temple.
  • The smashing of the glass is often in place of the kiss at the end of the ceremony.
  • After the glass is smashed, everyone says ‘mazel tov’ which means congratulations.
  • It is also a reminder that in the midst of joy, there is also sadness and sorrow and the couple has a responsibility to try and repair in a spiritual sense.
  • This is common to all branches of Judaism.
78
Q

Outline the pre-marriage ritual of the ‘Aliyah’

A
  • Literally means ‘going up’
  • The honour of being called up to read the Torah in a synagogue
  • This refers to when a person who is going to get married physically ascends to the bimah (A raised platform in the synagogue where services are led). The person ascends to the bimah where the Torah is read and is honoured to recite the blessings over the Torah
  • To have an Aliyah one must be Jewish and have reached the age of bar mitzvah (when a boy turns 13 and is responsible for his own actions, for girls it is 12)
  • On the Shabbat preceding the wedding the groom is called to read the Torah in the synagogue
  • After reciting the blessings the couple leave the synagogue and are showered with candy and raisins, symbolising sweetness, and fruitfulness.
79
Q

Outline the significance allowing the community to experience tradition through rituals as a result of marriage

A
  • The Tisch lets women of the community receive the kallah with joy and encouragement similar to the men and the chassan. Later the community receives the newly-married couple whose previous sins are now forgiven due to a personal Yom kippur.
  • Parents and sometimes grandparents escort the chassan and kallah to the chuppa. Each celebration brings the generations together.
  • Every person participating can feel involved by singing and dancing.
80
Q

Outline the order of Jewish wedding events

A
  1. The Tisch
  2. The bedekken
  3. Signing of the ketubah
  4. Hakafot
  5. Placing the ring
  6. Seven wedding blessings
  7. Smashing of the glass
  8. Yichud
81
Q

Conclusory statement

A

The importance that Judaism has placed on marriage has contributed to Jewish survival over the generations. In spite of the oppression of Jews throughout the centuries, they have succeeded in preserving their religious and cultural heritage. This is partly due to the spiritual basis for marriage and the commitment to the family.

82
Q

Definition: Groom

A

Chassan

83
Q

Definition: Prayer shawl

A

Tallit

84
Q

Definition: Specially knotted ritual fringes, or tassels found on a tallit (prayer shawl)

A

Tzitzit

85
Q

Quote - The Veil

A

“And she [Rebekah] took the veil and covered herself.” Genesis 24:65)

86
Q

Definition: Ben Din

A

Religious Court

87
Q

Outline the significance of the yichud

A
  • The newly-married couple enter the yichud room. In Juwish law, this finalises the marriage ceremony.
  • At one time this is where the marriage was consummated.
  • Today, yichud symbolises the necessity of taking time for each other amidst the hustle and bustle of life.
88
Q

Quote - Parents teaching children

A

“Teach your son a trade, or you teach him how to be a robber” (Talmud)

89
Q

Outline the significance of the home as the basic unit of the Jewish community as a result of marriage

A
  • Jews have the responsibility to marry and raise a family within Judaism
  • When children are born, the community is strengthened and the number of Jews increases. Reproduction is an important aspect of continuing the religion from generation to generation.
90
Q

Explain the significance of experiencing marriage rituals to the individual

A
  • When the chassan places the veil over the kallah’s face in the bakken ritual, he indicates that he loves her more for her inner qualities
  • When the kallah enters the chuppa and circles the chassah, she symbolically creates a wall of protection around her husband and their marriage. The chuppah symbolises their new home will be open to all around them.
  • The chassan presents the kallah with a gold ring to represent their everlasting and unbroken union of marriage.
  • The chassan presents the kallah with the ketubah; it states the husband’s obligations to his wife: providing food, clothing, home and emotional needs. The ketubah is often framed in their home to remind them of their contract.
91
Q

Explain the significance to the individual of a personal relationship with the spouse’s parents as a result of their Jewish marriage.

A
  • The individual is required to treat his or her spouse’s parents with the same respect and courtesy shown to their own.
  • The wholeness and completion provided by marriage means that, to some extent, one spouse’s parents are also the other person’s parents.
92
Q

Quote - Ketubah

A

“She is not yours to vex and grieve” (Talmud)

93
Q

Definition: A formal Jewish bill of divorce

A

Get

94
Q

Definition: Ketubah

A

Marriage contract

95
Q

Definition: Seven wedding blessings

A

Sheva Brachot

96
Q

Definition: Ritual impurity while the wife is menstrating

A

Niddah

97
Q

What is the significance of the chuppa?

A
  • A canopy with 4 open sides under which a wedding ceremony takes place. A basic chuppah looks like a square piece of fabric supported by four poles, however they can be decorated with flowers or other sentimental ornaments.
  • The Chuppah signifies the house or home the couple will make. This stems from the Torah
  • Ancient Rabbis compared it to the tent of Abraham who was famed for his hospitality; his tent had entrances on all four sides to signal a message of welcome to travellers coming from any direction.
98
Q

Outline the pre-marriage ritual of the matchmaker

A
  • Traditionally engagement was organised by a third person called a ‘shadchan’ (matchmaker). This was a paid position within the community.
  • Individuals involved are not forced into an unwanted marriage contract.
  • Apart from traditional circles this is no longer how Jews meet their partners.