NVC Summary Flashcards

1
Q

What does NVC stand for?

A

Nonviolent Communication

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2
Q

What are the four areas focused on in NVC?

A

Observing, feeling, needing, and requesting

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3
Q

What does NVC help us connect with?

A

Each other and ourselves

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4
Q

What kind of environment does NVC foster?

A

One of deep listening, respect, and empathy

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5
Q

What is the ultimate goal of NVC?

A

To engender a mutual desire to give from the heart

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6
Q

How do people use NVC?

A

To respond compassionately to themselves, create deeper personal relationships, or build effective relationships at work or in the political arena

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7
Q

For what purposes is NVC used worldwide?

A

To mediate disputes and conflicts at all levels

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8
Q

What is the nature of humans regarding compassion?

A

Humans naturally enjoy giving and receiving compassion

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9
Q

What is life-alienating communication?

A

It is a form of communication that leads to harm to ourselves and others and includes moralistic judgments, comparisons, and demands

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10
Q

How do moralistic judgments affect compassion?

A

Moralistic judgments imply wrongness or badness and can prevent acting in harmony with our values, blocking compassion

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11
Q

Why are comparisons considered life-alienating?

A

Comparisons can block compassion for ourselves and others

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12
Q

What does life-alienating communication obscure?

A

It obscures the awareness that we are responsible for our own thoughts, feelings, and actions

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13
Q

How do demands in communication affect compassion?

A

Communicating our desires as demands is a characteristic of language that blocks compassion

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14
Q

What is the first component of Nonviolent Communication (NVC)?

A

The separation of observation from evaluation

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15
Q

What happens when observation is combined with evaluation?

A

Others may hear criticism and resist what is being said

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16
Q

What does NVC discourage in terms of language use?

A

NVC discourages static generalizations

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17
Q

How should observations be made according to NVC?

A

Observations should be specific to time and context

18
Q

Give an example of an observation specific to time and context.

A

Hank Smith has not scored a goal in twenty games is an example of an observation specific to time and context

19
Q

What is an example of a static generalization that NVC aims to avoid?

A

Hank Smith is a poor soccer player is an example of a static generalization

20
Q

What is the second necessary component for expressing ourselves?

A

Feelings

21
Q

Why is it important to develop a vocabulary of feelings?

A

To clearly and specifically name or identify our emotions for better connection with others

22
Q

How can expressing our feelings help us?

A

It can help resolve conflicts and allow for vulnerability

23
Q

What does NVC distinguish in the expression of feelings?

A

The expression of actual feelings from words and statements that describe thoughts, assessments, and interpretations

24
Q

What is the third component of NVC regarding our feelings?

A

The acknowledgment of the needs behind our feelings

25
Q

What are the four options for receiving a negative message according to NVC?

A

(1) Blame ourselves, (2) blame others, (3) sense our own feelings and needs, (4) sense the feelings and needs hidden in the other person’s negative message

26
Q

How are judgments, criticisms, diagnoses, and interpretations of others described in NVC?

A

They are alienated expressions of our own needs and values

27
Q

What tends to happen when others hear criticism?

A

They tend to invest their energy in self-defense or counterattack

28
Q

Why is directly connecting our feelings to our needs beneficial?

A

It makes it easier for others to respond compassionately

29
Q

Why can identifying and revealing our needs be frightening, especially for women?

A

Because we live in a world that often judges us harshly for doing so, and women are socialized to ignore their own needs while caring for others

30
Q

What are the three stages of developing emotional responsibility?

A

(1) Emotional slavery, (2) the obnoxious stage, and (3) emotional liberation

31
Q

What is “emotional slavery” in the context of NVC?

A

Believing ourselves responsible for the feelings of others

32
Q

What characterizes “the obnoxious stage” in developing emotional responsibility?

A

Refusing to admit to caring what anyone else feels or needs

33
Q

What does “emotional liberation” entail according to NVC?

A

Accepting full responsibility for our own feelings but not the feelings of others, while being aware that we can never meet our own needs at the expense of others

34
Q

What is the fourth component of NVC focused on?

A

It focuses on what we would like to request of each other to enrich our lives

35
Q

How should requests be phrased according to NVC?

A

Requests should avoid vague, abstract, or ambiguous phrasing and use positive action language, stating what is being requested rather than what is not

36
Q

Why is clarity important in communication?

A

Clarity increases the likelihood of receiving what we want because it ensures our message is understood as intended

37
Q

How can we verify if our message has been accurately received?

A

By learning how to find out if our message has been accurately heard, especially in group settings to avoid initiating unproductive conversations

38
Q

When are requests perceived as demands?

A

Requests are received as demands when listeners believe they will be blamed or punished if they do not comply

39
Q

How can we indicate that we are making a request, not a demand?

A

By expressing our desire for compliance only if the listener can do so willingly, thus building trust

40
Q

What is and isn’t the objective of NVC?

A

The objective is not to change people and their behavior to get our way, but to establish relationships based on honesty and empathy that fulfill everyone’s needs