Psych Unit 11 and 12 Flashcards
(73 cards)
Sociological Perspectives
two people sitting at a restaurant and one person pays the bill
- we knew this was a date. because it follows a script
- we get alarmed when something happens that is not in the script
Heterosexual Script
a lot of dating scripts are shaped by heterosexual scripts
- the best way for a girl to attract a guy is by using her body
- guys like to play the field and won’t stay with one partner for a long time
- guys are more interested in physical relationships and girls are more interested in emotional relationships
Women Heterosexual Script
be sexual gatekeepers (decide when sex happens)
- be sexy for men
- put in a lot of effort
- be passive, flirty, and use sexual innuendos
- Women-on-women sex is more appropriate for men’s sexual pleasure
Men Heterosexual Script
men always want sex
- value women for their bodies only
- don’t get weighed down by relationships
- make the first move on everything
- avoid doing anything “gay”
How People Meet: Straight Couples
*data between 2005-2010
- 30% thru friends
- 20% in school
- 20% online
- 5% family, bars, church
How People Meet: Same-Gender Couples
*data between 2005-2010
- 70% met online bc public is a more heteronormative space
– people also feel safer meeting online bc of discrimination in public
- 20% in bars
- 10% thru friends
Most Recent Dating Info in the US Stats
- 47% of Americans say it’s harder to meet people now than it was 10 years ago
- inflation (ppl are choosing less expensive things to do on dates)
- men find partners more than women can
- college-educated women don’t want to date people who don’t align with them on political views
- half of adults think mental health is more important than marriage
What People are Looking for in a Romantic Partner
Mate Preferences: the qualities that people desire in potential sexual or romantic partners
- don’t differ much by gender or sexual orientation
- typically, people want a loving, caring, stable partner who has similar traits to them
*no gender differences on how people prioritize these qualities
Do Attractive Women marry Rich Men
today, less support for this data
- people mate with someone who matches them on characteristics instead
Mere Exposure Affect
the tendency to like a person more if you have been exposed to them repeatedly
ex: people you go to school with, live close to, anyone they see a lot
The Matching Phenomenon
we tend to choose romantic partners who are similar to us (in areas like attitudes, intelligence, and attractiveness)
ex: why college-educated people often marry other college-educated people
experimental reserach: Bryne
1. participants got a questionaire that matched their beliefs and the other group got a questionaire that didn’t match their beliefs
2. participants rated how much they liked the other person
results: **people like the person who’s attitudes are similar to them
**this is because people like positive reinforcement from similar people
- we feel better about ourselves when people agree with us and we think we have more positive interactions with that person
Homophiliy
tendency to have contact with people who are of equal social standing
ex: race, religion, education – each these identities have a level of power associated to them
Percent of US Marriages that are Homophilus
race: people tend to mostly date people from their own race
- usually bc that person can relate to their social status
- Asian people are the least likely to marry someone outside of their race
Education: 2nd most important factor
- could be bc of the mere exposure affect bc if u go to college, than you see that person regularly
- religion
Queer Couples:
- they don’t go into public places as much so they’re less likely to meet someone
- they rely less on homophily
**queer couples do less homophiliy
Attraction
people tend to like others who are physically attractive
- who we find physically attractive depends on the culture
ex: in the US, Victoria Secret models are attractive - in Western Uganda, they like women who are heavier
- the US values thinness and light skin
*couples usually end up together if the people are similar levels of attractive
Porn Study
2002 -
Black, Latina, and White women have very different perceptions of beauty
- white women think thinner women are better
- white women are more unaware of racism that is in certain beauty standards (ex: light skin)
**different standards of attractiveness that is different across US SUBCULTURES
Attraction Online
different websites are for different clients
match.com = singles 30 and older who want to settle down
eHarmony = people who want to take it slow
Tinder/Grindr= someone who is close for casual sex
- sites have different algorithms for matching
- dating sites are somewhat successful (44% end in serious relationship)
Bryne’s Law of Attraction
we like people who give us a lot of reinforcement and few punishments
- we like lots of rewards and few punishments
practical implication: spend time having fun together
- these people report higher relationship satisfaction
- people who like the same things, do the same things, agree on the same stuff
- you want to associate your partner with rewards not punishments
Evolutionary Theory: Sexual Strategies Theory (Buss)
evolutionary theory: about successful mating and offspring
- physical attractiveness is a guide to fertility
- men are attracted to younger women bc they are more fertile
- women are attracted to healthy men and men who can contribute resources to them and their kids
ex: lumbar curve theory
- they thought that women who wear heels are more attractive
- it’s actually the lumbar curve that they have when wearing heels that makes them more attractive (evolutionary optimal angle)
Debunking Sexual Strategies Theory
- historically, high heels were not attractive on just women, men wore them too
- the data doesn’t support that women just value income/earning potential and men value physical attractiveness
- both men and women are influenced by the attractiveness of potential partners
Sociocultural Perspective
when women couldn’t work, they had to be with partners who could support them financially
- when men went to work, they benefited from women who stayed home and cooked and cleaned (bc women couldn’t work)
- men and women’s gender differences in mate preference are weaker now than they were historically (they now have similar qualities they seek in their partners)
- roles between women and men have grown closer as women can now work
Intimacy
- commitment
- feelings of closeness (emotional and cognitive)
- self-disclosure:
- telling personal things abt yourself
- promotes intimacy
- leads to reciprocation (partners trust each other more now, can cause them to imitate the partner who shared more
—- they may do this maintain balance/equity in the relationship
Sternberg’s Theory
3 parts to love:
- intimacy (emotional part)
- passion (motivation or drive part)
— physical attraction
- decision/commitment (cognitive part)
—– short term: realizing I love you
—— long term: moving in together, marrying
Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
- uses this to predict sexual satisfaction
- people who are the most aligned on all 3 parts will experience the most relationship satisfaction
ex: if one person cares a lot about intimacy but the other person cares a lot about passion they might have lower relationship satisfaction bc they don’t match up well
**it’s not just about the 3 parts but the kinds of behaviors that go along with them
- ex: buying them a wedding ring to show them you want to get married for decision/commitment
Showing Love
1st study: when asked to describe the ways that people in their gender show love
- straight men are more likely than women to mention acts where they show off resources (buying gifts, dinner)
- straight women are more likely than men to show acts that they are committed to the man only in public through sexual acts or hand holding