Scene 11: The Devil’s Grandmother (pg. 57-62) Flashcards
Snow White: Thank you.
And they had a son, Walt, who grew up to be a very handsome young man. Like most teenagers, however, he was rebellious and didn’t like to do chores. Which would have been fine, but unfortunately for the royal family, they had forgotten about the witch.
Which witch?
The witch which watched Walt’s wish.
Narrator 1: What?
Watch.
Narrator 1: I thought she got stabbed to death.
You only thought she got stabbed to death. In reality she escaped by sending her soul fifteen years into the future.
Narrator 1: I’m not sure this makes a whole lot of sense.
Do you want to get through all of these or not? So Walt became a talking frog and moved to a nearby pond and remained there until he found a golden ball and was kissed by a princess. But the true secret origin here is of Dwarf #2. This is a little story I like to call #95: The Devil’s Grandmother.
Narrator 1: The Devil has a grandmother?
Everyone has a grandmother. And you need to call yours. Before she dies.
Narrator 1: I have a phone call to make.
I thought she would never leave. Now before I start this very special story, I’d like us all to think about that special old person in our lives. You know the one. And imagine what it would be like to be old for a day. You already know, sir.
Imagine how it must feel to have your best days behind you and only really be waiting for the welcoming arms of death. To feel your body decay, your mind collapse. Tell us about it sir.
This man is so old he can’t even speak.
You must be his caretaker. I pity you.
Well…this is a very special story brought to you by the Hallmark Channel. Could we get some warm soft fuzzy lighting please? Maybe a kind of soft warm glow around everyone onstage?
Could you try that again please?
What is your problem? Yeah I’m talking to you! We’re trying to have a very special moment here! You’re ruining the special moment! What did you just say to me?! This is a family show you walking pile of putrescence! You don’t even know what putrescence means do you? You know why you don’t know? Cause you went to public school and they don’t teach vocab anymore! Hey, where did you get that picture of my mom?
(Reacts in horror)
You’re dead!
Devil 2: So next time you’re in Disneyland and you see Chip and Dale walking toward you-
And I’m back to prevent lawsuits.
Narrator 1: But of course we can’t really understand that story until we know where the Devil’s Grandmother came from.
Can we just pause for a second?
Narrator 1: What.
Is that really how the Brothers Grimm recorded that story?
Narrator 1: …Nobody gets killed in the end. I just thought the title was funny.
Fine. But now we have to fit that into our storyline.
Narrator : No problem. Because long before she was the Devil’s grandmother, she was a little girl.
That’s deep.
