Scenes 3 & 4: A Little Tangled (pg. 16-24) & Hansel and Gretel (pg. 24-31)

Question 1

Enchantress: …I want you to try all these radioactive hair care products and see what happens.

Answer 1

So Rapunzel was locked away-

Question 2

Rapunzel: That’s cool, I’ve got my cell phone and-

Answer 2

In a tower with no cell phone service-

Question 3

Rapunzel: Noooooo!

Answer 3

And her hair grew and grew. Mutated really. She became a mutant. Actually, if you’re into comic books there’s this superheroine named Medusa who lives on the moon and can make her hair do all this crazy stuff, like it reaches out and grabs people and smashes them in the face and stuff-

Question 4

Narrator 1: You know this is why you aren’t dating anyone, don’t you? Cause you’re a dork.

Answer 4

I’ve spent a lot of time alone.

Question 5

Narrator 1: Just continue the story.

Answer 5

Fine. And for no apparent reason, the Enchantress decided to use her hair as a ladder.

Question 6

Rapunzel: Why don’t you use your magical powers to fly up here?!

Answer 6

So up climbed the Enchantress.

Question 7

Enchantress: Hey um…what is my motivation here?

Answer 7

(looking at book) Um…doesn’t really say.

Question 8

Rapunzel: Maybe you were abused as a child.

Answer 8

Yeah, there’s really no reason for it.

Question 9

Enchantress: Huh. All right, I guess I’m just some kind of sadistic witch.

Answer 9

Like my ex-girlfriend.

Question 10

Rapunzel: Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

Answer 10

But just at that moment, a prince happened to be wandering by.

Question 11

Rapunzel: Mostly I just sit here in my tower. Actually that’s all I do. Sit here and comb my hair.

Answer 11

Okay stop. What’s the problem?

Question 12

Rapunzel: I’ve been locked in a tower for nine years!

Answer 12

You fall in love at first sight.

Question 13

Rapunzel: I have a very detailed journal.

Answer 13

Stop it. This is a fairy tale. We’re trying to get through them all. You fall in love at first sight. Okay? Bam! You’re in love.

Question 14

Rapunzel: I want him to be taller.

Answer 14

Bam! Love.

Question 15

Rapunzel: Oh. Maybe that was it.

Answer 15

Bam! Love.

Question 16

Prince 2: That’s good enough for me!

Answer 16

And they fell in love. But their time was short.

Question 17

Enchantress: Which is what makes this all the more difficult.

Answer 17

And with two snips.

Question 18

Enchantress: Yes. And now I’m going to banish you to a desert where you can wander for the rest of your life and think about how you disappointed me.

Answer 18

Now, I know what some of you out there are thinking:

Question 19

Narrator 1: She needed a haircut.

Answer 19

You’re thinking: that was some pretty harsh parenting.

Question 20

Father: …It’s awesome! Thanks What to Expect When You’re Expecting to Live in a Fairy Tale!

Answer 20

Can we get back to our story please?

Question 21

Prince 2: I am a mighty prince and I will defeat you!

Answer 21

And with that, the Prince jumped out the window. And fell. A long way.

Question 22

Prince 2: Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ouch. Ooh.

Answer 22

And as luck would have it he hit a thorn bush which poked out both his eyes.

Question 23

Enchantress: Turning a man into a golden goose. That should be rewarding.

Answer 23

And so the Prince wandered around blind.

Question 24

Prince 2: Sorry about that. Sorry. Pardon me. Ouch. Hope that’s not valuable. I didn’t mean to touch you there.

Answer 24

Until he coincidentally wandered into a desert.

Question 25

Prince 2: Is it getting hot out here?

Answer 25

Where he ran into-you guessed it.

Question 26

Rapunzel: My prince!

Answer 26

And she cried on his eyes and that magically healed him. And they lived happily ever after. In the desert. With no kingdom or hair care products. The end.

Question 27

Narrator 1: Moral of the story:

Answer 27

Yeah, the moral of the story is…What did you put in your paper for college?

Question 28

Narrator 1: …Yeah, I was making that stuff up. That’s what you do in college.

Answer 28

But…our story is not even remotely finished.

Question 29

Narrator 1: No wait, it is finished. It’s not yet begun.

Answer 29

That’s right. So let’s go back to that girl - Rapunzel’s mother.

Question 30

Narrator 1: …Who would grow up to make a deal with several supernatural entities who would eventually imprison her daughter in the tower.

Answer 30

But.

Question 31

Narrator 1: There’s always a but.

Answer 31

One question remains:

Question 32

Narrator 1: Where did the witch come from?

Answer 32

Funny you should ask. You see it all started a long time before this. In a little village near the ocean.