Why relationships end (but also Gottman)

Question 1

Fatal Attraction Theory

Answer 1

Introduced by Felmlee, it argues that what attracts us to our partner initially, may end up being the reason that the relationship ends.

Question 2

Fatal Attraction Theory - 3 common fatal attraction theory patterns

Answer 2

1. Fun to foolish (Having sense of humor to being someone that lacks maturity, often using humor to avoid solving problems in the relationship or humiliating one’s partner)
2. Strong to domineering (Partners who show self-confidence and have leader-like qualities to being someone that is uncompromising, authoritarian and potentially, abusive)
3. Spontaneous to unpredictable (To living in the moment and exhibiting exciting spontaneity to having a lack of seriousness, lack of organization and planning and potentially, cheating on the spouse and lack of commitment)

Question 3

Felmlee (1995)

Answer 3

QUALITATIVE RESEARCH

Aim: Investigate whether the attractive qualities that a participant’s partner had initially, where the reason for the end of the relationship.

Sample: 301 university students who were asked about their most recent romantic relationship that had ended.

Method: Correlational research

Procedure: Participants were asked to list the qualities that had initially attracted them to their former partner. Then they were asked what qualities in their partner eventually led them to breakup.

Results:
88/301 cases, what had once seen as an attractive trait, ended up being the reason for the split.

Findings:
She found three common fatal attraction patterns:

1. Fun to foolish
2. Strong to domineering
3. Spontaneous to unpredictable

Question 4

Gottman (2 pros, 2 cons)

Answer 4

• Data triangulation was used, collecting not only observational data of couples interacting, but also physiological data.
• The study made use of multiple coders/observers increasing inter-coder reliability and ultimately, the internal validity of the study.
• Sampling method is self-selected because participants who volunteer may have specific, unique traits that make them willing to participate, reducing external validity..
• The approach is rather reductionist, arguing that it is mainly the communication style that leads to the success failure of a relationship. The ignoring of potential extraneous variables may lead the internal validity of such longitudinal research to be problematic.

Question 5

Role of communication in why relationships end

Answer 5

Communication plays a key role in the health of a relationship, therefore consistent negative communication patterns can lead to the break-up of a relationship. Gottman proposed that there are 4 communication styles that threaten a relationship: Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.

Question 6

4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse

Answer 6

Criticism - Attacking your partner’s character to show that you are right

Contempt - Insulting your partner’s character and seeing them as inferior.

Defensiveness - Arguing about the concerns of your partner and seeing yourself as the victim.

Stonewalling - Withdrawing from the relationship to avoid conflict.

Question 7

Carrere and Gottman (1999)

Answer 7

Aim: Determine whether psychologists could accurately predict if a couple in marriage counseling would up divorced, after only a few minutes of conversation.

Participants: 124 newlywed couples (recruited using a purposive sampling method)

Procedure: Each couple initially completed a survey separately about their relationship. They then discussed these survey results with a researcher to help identify 1 or 2 main problems in their relationship.

These issues then served as the bases for a 15-minute discussion between the couple which was video recorded and then coded, by trained observers, using a coding system developed to measure both positive and negative communication patterns. Additionally, couples were both connected to instruments that measured physiological factors like galvanic skin response, fidgeting and heart rate. Couples were then checked once a year for six years to determine if they were still together.

Findings:
From the results, Gottman argued that communicated styles play a key role in the ending of a relationship as the results made it clear that partners who were divorced after exhibited a higher degree of negative communication patterns like contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling during the first 3 minutes of the 15-minute taped discussion.

Question 8

Felmlee 3 critical thinking point (1Pro, 2 cons)

Answer 8

pro:
Relatively large sample size of 301 participants improving the transferability of findings of the study to the population of university students

cons:
- Sampling bias because it used only university students, meaning it is difficult to transfer the findings beyond university students and other age groups
- Study is retrospective in nature, meaning it is impossible to verify whether what a participant states is true and there is also the possibility of memory distortion.