Ch 10 Attraction and Relationships: From Initial Impressions to Long-Term Intimacy

Question 1

One determinant of interpersonal attraction is proximity.

Answer 1

Sometimes also called propinquity

Question 2

Propinquity Effect

Answer 2

The finding that the more we see and interact with people, the more likely they are to become our friends

Question 3

The Person Next Door: The Propinquity Effect (3 of 5)

Answer 3

41% of the next-door neighbors indicated they were close friends
22% of those who lived two doors apart
Only 10% of those who lived on opposite ends of the hall

Question 4

Functional distance

Answer 4

Refers to certain aspects of architectural design that make it more likely that some people will come into contact with each other more often than with others

Question 5

Mere Exposure Effect

Answer 5

The finding that the more exposure we have to a stimulus, the more apt we are to like it
The more we are around a person, the better we like them.

Question 6

Similarity

Answer 6

“Birds of a feather flock together” (similarity)
What about “opposites attract” (complementarity)?
Research overwhelmingly supports
Similarity
Not complementarity

Question 7

Greater similarity leads to more liking
Newcomb (1961): College men became friends with those who were similar in

Answer 7

Demographics
Attitudes
Values

Question 8

Interests and Experiences

Answer 8

Situations you choose to be in expose you to others with similar interests.
Then, when you discover and create new similarities, they fuel the friendship.
Close friendships are often made in college, in part because of prolonged propinquity.

Question 9

Similarity in Appearance

Answer 9

Seek physical proximity to those similar in appearance
Seek others with similar degree of physical attractiveness

Question 10

Similarity in Genetics

Answer 10

Friends have more similar DNA than strangers
Average friends share the same generic similarity as two people who share a great-great-great grandparent!

Question 11

Similarity in Committed Relationships Versus “Flings”

Answer 11

For committed relationship
Choose a similar partner
Relationships based on differences can be difficult to maintain
Perceived similarity more important than actual similarity
Low level of commitment (fling)
Choose dissimilar partners

Question 12

Reciprocal Liking

Answer 12

We like people who like us
For initial attraction, reciprocal liking can overcome
Dissimilarity in attitudes
Attentional biases to attractive faces

Question 13

Physical attractiveness

Answer 13

Plays an important role in liking
No big difference between men and women in this regard

Question 14

Physical attractiveness Gender’ differences

Answer 14

Gender differences?
Differences are larger when attitudes are measured
Men more likely than women to report attraction is important
Gender similarities in behavior

Question 15

Physical Attractiveness (3 of 3)

Answer 15

The finding that we like people who like us suggests that the strategy of “playing hard-to-get” can sometimes backfire.
Recent research suggests that the strategy tends to decrease how much another person likes you, all the while potentially increasing how much that person wants to be with you.

Question 16

Female Faces—What Is Attractive?

Answer 16

Large eyes
Small nose
Small chin
Prominent cheekbones
High eyebrows
Large pupils
Big smile

Question 17

Male Faces—What Is Attractive?

Answer 17

High attractiveness ratings are associated with:
Large eyes
Prominent cheekbones
Large chin
Big smile

Question 18

Cultural Standards of Beauty

Answer 18

Facial attractiveness perceived similarly across cultures
Symmetry is preferred
Size, shape, and location of the features on one side match the other side of face
“Averaged” composite faces preferred
Lost atypical or asymmetrical variation

Question 19

The Power of Familiarity (1 of 2)

Answer 19

Familiarity may be crucial variable for interpersonal attraction.
People prefer faces that most resemble their own.

Question 20

Propinquity

Answer 20

Gain familiarity through mere exposure

Question 21

Similarity

Answer 21

If similar will also seem familiar

Question 22

Reciprocal liking

Answer 22

People we who like and get to know become familiar

Question 23

Assumptions About Attractive People
(1 of 3)

Answer 23

Benefits of beauty
Beauty has been associated with:
better health outcomes for infants in hospitals
better earnings
better teaching evaluations
winning elections

Question 24

Assumptions About Attractive People
(2 of 3)

Answer 24

Physical beauty affects attributions
Halo Effect:
A cognitive bias by which we tend to assume that an individual with one positive characteristic also possesses other (even unrelated) positive characteristics

Question 25

Assumptions About Attractive People (3 of 3)

Answer 25

“What is beautiful is good” stereotype The beautiful are thought to be more: Sociable Extraverted Popular Sexual Happy Assertive

Question 26

Culture and the “What Is Beautiful Is Good” Stereotype

Answer 26

Korean, American, and Canadian cultures share these: sociable, extroverted, happy, popular, well-adjusted, mature, poised, sexually warm, responsive, friendly Additional American and Canadian cultures share: strong, assertive, dominant Additional Korean culture traits: sensitive, empathetic, generous, honest, trustworthy

Question 27

Attractive People and the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy (1 of 2)

Answer 27

Highly attractive people: Do develop good social interaction skills Report having more satisfying interactions with others Self-fulfilling prophecy The beautiful receive a great deal of social attention Helps them develop good social skills

Question 28

Attractive People and the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy (2 of 2)

Answer 28

Can a “regular” person be made to act like a “beautiful” one via the self-fulfilling prophecy? Yes! If men talking to women on the phone believe she is attractive Elicit warmer, friendlier responses Same for women

Question 29

Evolution and Mate Selection (1 of 5)

Answer 29

Evolutionary Psychology The attempt to explain social behavior in terms of genetic factors that evolved over time according to the principles of natural selection

Question 30

Evolution and Mate Selection (2 of 5)

Answer 30

Evolutionary approach to mate selection Men and women are attracted to different characteristics in each other that maximize reproductive success Women are attracted by men’s resources Reproductive success: raising offspring to maturity Greater resources increases chances of survival

Question 31

Evolution and Mate Selection (3 of 5)

Answer 31

Evolutionary approach to mate selection Men are attracted by women’s appearance Reproductive success: maximize number of offspring Symmetrical faces indicates positive health and “good genes”

Question 32

Evolution and Mate Selection (4 of 5)

Answer 32

Evidence for evolutionary approach: Asked more than 9,000 adults in 37 countries desirable marriage partner characteristics Women: valued ambition, industriousness, and earning capacity more than men Men: valued attractiveness more than women Top characteristics for both the same: honesty, trustworthiness, pleasant personality

Question 33

Evolution and Mate Selection (5 of 5)

Answer 33

Evidence for evolutionary approach (cont.): When women are near their ovulation and fertility peak: Greater preference for men who exhibit signs of reproductive fitness Symmetrical face, masculine face, muscular physique

Question 34

Alternate Perspectives on Sex Differences

Answer 34

Gender differences are status differences Women often have less power and wealth Difficult to disentangle “nature” from “nurture” “Evolved” gender differences due to dating paradigms where men approach and women are approached

Question 35

Making Connections in the Digital World

Answer 35

How are attraction and social connection affected by modern technology? Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, Tinder, text, virtual reality Example: Field experiment of 100 real-life interactions Pairs with mobile device rated connectedness and empathy lower than pairs without devices

Question 36

Attraction 2.0: Mate Preference in an Online Era

Answer 36

Propinquity In Internet world, not that many degrees of separation Similarity People seek others with similar “popularity” in online dating sites Familiarity Liking decreased after meeting (compared to liking based on online profile) Inaccuracy of online information

Question 37

The Promise and Pitfalls of Online Dating (1 of 2)

Answer 37

Benefits Aggregates a large number of profiles Provides opportunity for communication Matching users based on analyses of compatibility But success rate not higher than other “old-fashioned” methods

Question 38

The Promise and Pitfalls of Online Dating (2 of 2)

Answer 38

81% provide inaccurate information in their profile for at least one characteristic Lies about weight, age, height No gender differences Deceptive, misleading photos

Question 39

The Promise and Pitfalls of Online Dating (2 of 2)

Answer 39

81% provide inaccurate information in their profile for at least one characteristic Lies about weight, age, height No gender differences Deceptive, misleading photos

Question 40

Companionate Love

Answer 40

The intimacy and affection we feel when we care deeply for a person Do not experience passion or arousal in the person’s presence.

Question 41

Passionate Love

Answer 41

An intense longing we feel for a person, accompanied by physiological arousal When our love is reciprocated, we feel great fulfillment and ecstasy, when it is not, we feel sadness and despair

Question 42

Companionate Love

Answer 42

Nonsexual relationships Close friendships Sexual relationships Psychological intimacy without “heat” and passion

Question 43

Passionate Love

Answer 43

Intense longing for another person, characterized by: The experience of physiological arousal The feeling of shortness of breath Thumping heart in loved one’s presence

Question 44

Passionate and Companionate Love Across Cultures

Answer 44

Americans value passionate love more than the Chinese The Chinese value companionate more Taita of Kenya value both equally

Question 45

Culture and Love (1 of 3)

Answer 45

Love is a universal emotion Cultural differences about love Think about Define Experience Example: Romantic love viewed as more crucial in individualistic cultures compared to collectivistic ones Japanese amae Totally passive love object, indulged and taken care of by one’s romantic partner Chinese gan qing Achieved by helping and working for another person Korean jung Connection that ties people together Romantic love universal Cultural rules alter: Experience Expression Memory

Question 46

Attachment Styles in Intimate Relationships

Answer 46

Attachment Styles The expectations people develop about relationships with others, based on the relationship they had with their primary caregiver when they were infants There are three styles of attachment: Secure Anxious/Ambivalent Avoidant

Question 47

Secure Attachment Style

Answer 47

Trust, a lack of concern with being abandoned View that one is worthy and well-liked

Question 48

Anxious/Ambivalent Attachment Style

Answer 48

Concern that others will not reciprocate one’s desire for intimacy Results in higher-than-average levels of anxiety

Question 49

Avoidant Attachment Style

Answer 49

Suppression of attachment needs, because attempts to be intimate have been rebuffed People with this style find it difficult to develop intimate relationships

Question 50

Measuring Adult Attachment Styles Avoidant (2 of 3)

Answer 50

25% Somewhat uncomfortable being close to others Find it difficult to trust them completely, Difficult to allow myself to depend on them Nervous when anyone gets close Love partners want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being

Question 51

Measuring Adult Attachment Styles Anxious (3 of 3)

Answer 51

19% Others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn’t really love me or won’t stay with me. I want to merge completely with another person, and this desire sometimes scares people away.

Question 52

Early Attachment Styles Stay With Us (1 of 2)

Answer 52

Key assumption of attachment theory: Attachment style learned in infancy becomes schema for all relationships Secure Attachment: More likely to develop mature, lasting relationships

Question 53

Attachment Style Is Not Destiny

Answer 53

If people had unhappy relationships with their parents, they are not doomed to repeat this! People’s experience in relationships can help them learn new and more healthy ways of relating to others. People may develop more than one attachment style over time.

Question 54

This is Your Brain… in Love (1 of 2)

Answer 54

Recruited college students in love IV: Participants brought in two pictures Beloved and acquaintance DV: Images on fMRI scanner Results? When looking at their beloved Participants who self-reported higher levels of romantic love showed Greater activation in the brain’s ventral tegmental area (VTA) and caudate nucleus Reward and motivation brain circuits -- also fires when people eat chocolate!

Question 55

Assessing Relationships: Satisfaction and Breaking Up

Answer 55

Theories of relationship satisfaction: Social Exchange Theory People’s feelings about a relationship depend on perceptions of rewards and costs, the kind of relationship they deserve, and their chances for having a better relationship with someone else Is an economic model of costs and benefits!

Question 56

Social Exchange Theory (1 of 3)

Answer 56

Basic concepts Rewards Positive, gratifying aspects of relationship Costs Negative aspects of relationship Outcome Comparison of rewards versus costs Comparison level Expectations People’s expectations about the level of rewards and punishments they are likely to receive in a particular relationship. Relationship satisfaction depends on your comparison level.

Question 57

Social Exchange Theory (3 of 3)

Answer 57

Relationship satisfaction also depends on your perception of the likelihood that you could replace it with a better one! Comparison Level for Alternatives People’s expectations about the level of rewards and punishments they would receive in an alternative relationship

Question 58

Investment Model of Commitment

Answer 58

People’s commitment to a relationship depends not only on their satisfaction Also depends on investment and what would be lost by leaving it

Question 59

Will People Stay in Love?

Answer 59

To predict whether people will stay in an intimate relationship, we need to know: Their level of satisfaction in the relationship What they think of the alternatives The degree of their investment in the relationship

Question 60

Theories of Relationship Satisfaction

Answer 60

Equity Theory Equitable relationships are the happiest and most stable Rewards and costs are roughly equal

Question 61

Equity Theory (1 of 2)

Answer 61

In inequitable relationships, one person feels: Over-benefited Lots of rewards, few costs Devote little time or energy to the relationship In inequitable relationships, one person feels: Under-benefited Few rewards, high costs Devote a lot of time and energy to the relationship Inequity is more important to person who is under-benefitted

Question 62

Exchange and Communal Relationships

Answer 62

Exchange Relationships Relationships governed by the need for equity (i.e., for an equal ratio of rewards and costs) Communal Relationships Relationships in which people’s primary concern is being responsive to the other person’s needs

Question 63

Communal Relationships and Equity

Answer 63

Communal relationships unconcerned with equity? Not necessarily Distress when intimate relationships inequitable Equity takes different form in communal relationships Partner more relaxed with what concerns equity at any given time Feel imbalanced, then relationship may end

Question 64

The Process and Experience of Breaking Up: Endings Are Common

Answer 64

American divorce rate is nearly 50% of the current marriage rate. Romantic relationships between unmarried individuals end every day.

Question 65

The Process of Breaking Up (1 of 3)

Answer 65

Is the breakup moral? If you find yourself in a romantic relationship and your partner seems inclined to break it off, try to end it mutually. Your experience will be less traumatic because you will share some control over the process (even if you don’t want it to happen).

Question 66

The Process of Breaking Up (2 of 3)

Answer 66

Relationship dissolution not a single event, but process with many steps Four stages (Duck, 1982) Intrapersonal: thinks about dissatisfaction Dyadic: discusses breakup with partner Social: breakup announced to others Intrapersonal: recover by thinking about why and how it happened

Question 67

The Process of Breaking Up (3 of 3)

Answer 67

Fatal Attraction 30% of breakups Qualities that attract are the qualities that are disliked the most at break up. This phenomenon demonstrates importance of similarity.

Question 68

Behavior in Troubled Relationships (1 of 4)

Answer 68

Destructive Behaviors Actively harming the relationship Abusing the partner Threatening to break up Actually leaving Passively allowing relationship to deteriorate Refusing to deal with problems Ignoring the partner or spending less time together Putting no energy into the relationship Constructive behaviors Actively trying to improve the relationship Discussing problems, trying to change Going to a therapist Passively remaining loyal to the relationship Waiting and hoping that the situation will improve Being supportive rather than fighting Remaining optimistic

Question 69

The Experience of Breaking Up (1 of 3)

Answer 69

Can we predict the different ways people will feel when their relationship ends? Responsibility for breakup important factor “Breakers”: high level of responsibility Least painful, upsetting, stressful “Breakees”: low level of responsibility Miserable—lonely, depressed, angry “Mutuals”: same level of responsibility Not as upset as “breakees” but more stressed than “breakers” Other factors that affect experience of breakup: Gender Women report more negative reactions than men Do people stay friends after break up? Heterosexual men not interested in friendship, regardless of role in breakup Women more interested in remaining friends, especially if “breakee” More interested in remaining friends if satisfaction and investment in the relationship were high