Chris Voss Flashcards
What is black swan in negotiation?
Negotiation - Seemingly innocuous information that if revealed that can make the world of the difference.
How to set myself up for success and learn these skills
- Use the techniques shamelessly. You have nothing to be ashamed of when you’re trying to be a better Person
- Be willing to make mistakes and realize mistakes are a learning accelerator. Make your mistakes faster !!
As you become better at tactical empathy, you build more _____z
Trust based influence. Why does this matter?
- ppl reveal what they are afraid to reveal bc they trust you
Trust that you know their problems / what they’re afraid of.
- how do they know you know what they are afraid of? You called it out in a fearless manner. You call out the elephant in the room —-> Simone does this
2 skills for establishing trust at work (rapport accelerators)?
- Mirroring
- Labeling
If it feels difficult and awkward it is a sign that you’re leaning and really moving forward! That is a good.
Idea is to build trust and rapport in a faster way that is lasting/ durable. These skills hit their core and gut instinct to feel understood and heard. This accelerates trust
Mirroring - what is it? And what is the goal?
When you… Repeat last 1-3 words they say
Goal: you want the person to feel like you got the words but they need to expand.
Proactive listening: Listen for things that need clarity, or a different point of view needs to be taken on, or that you REALLY need to understand before you move forward. Mirroring is proactive bc it’s about where are we going together.
If someone acts as a great sounding board for us. When we say things out loud we realize it doesn’t always make much sense. One of values of being a sounding board is you help ppl think. Bc you helped them think and they feel understood the side benefit is they trust you and neurochemicals get released like Oxytocin. The bonding neurochemical.
Get them to think out loud with you. It needs to be THEIR idea.
Mirror triggers completely different type of thinking - you don’t want to ask them “when would be a good time?” Instead you want ppl to think out loud —> dive into each idea “new partners now?” Or “partners now?” —> let them suggest when the better time is or the better partner looks like
This Anticipates the moment when you need to exercise their trust.
Important - don’t go in with any kind of preconceived notion. Listen and soak in what they’re saying. Keep encouraging them. Don’t overthink what’s happening. Just soak it in with a clean slate.
(Easier to pull w ST memory/ buys you time/ helps the other person think)
Late night FM DJ Voice
Smooth downward inflecting voice / news anchors use this voice
(Deep chin down)
What is an emotional intelligence hack?
Be genuinely curious / ask questions in a curious tone —> inflection matters
“I’m genuinely curious where you’re coming from?”
No one can be angry with you when you’re showing genuine curiosity on their mindset.
You REALLY want to know what is causing that person to feel that way.
Being approached with genuine curiosity makes them more willing to talk and ensures they do not get defensive.
