Interpersonal Exam #3 Flashcards
(101 cards)
1
Q
interpersonal attraction
A
a relational force that draws people together
the things that draw us to our friends are the things that draw us romantically
2
Q
task attraction
A
when you are attracted to someone based on their ability to help you complete a task or accomplish a goal
3
Q
physical attraction
A
being attracted to someone based on the way they look
4
Q
social attraction
A
being attracted to someone because we enjoy being around them and interacting with them
5
Q
elements of interpersonal attraction
A
similarity proximity physical appearance complimentary characteristics credibility reciprocity
6
Q
similarity
A
number one force of interpersonal attraction
7
Q
proximity
A
we are attracted to people that are physically close to us
we have increased opportunities to interact with these people
8
Q
physical appearance
A
a piece of beauty is not in the eye of the beholder
2 indicators that are true cross-culturally
-symmetry
-proportionality
often times, beauty is tied to whatever is affluent
9
Q
complimentary characteristics
A
the other person has skills and abilities that complement you in a relationship
doesn’t work when talking about things such as beliefs or values
10
Q
credibility
A
we are attracted to people who are competent, confident, credible, and capable
not cocky
11
Q
reciprocity
A
we are attracted to people who are attracted to us
pupil dilation
-when we look at someone beautiful, our pupils dilate
-when our pupils are larger, we are seen as more attractive
12
Q
Duck’s Filtering Theory of attraction
A
tells us who we will and won’t be attracted to
each step acts as a filter to eliminate people we won’t be attracted to
steps
-sociological cues
–deals with our opportunity to meet people
-pre-interaction cues
–things that happen before we actually talk with a person (looks, dress)
–determines our approach behavior
-interaction cues
–things that happen when we meet and interact with the person
-cognitive cues
–how the person thinks, what they believe
13
Q
social exchange theory
A
takes a business or economic model and applies it to a relationship
we want our rewards in relationships to outweigh our costs
14
Q
rewards and costs
A
rewards -any sort of profit or gain from a relationship -people value rewards differently costs -exchanged resources that result in loss -people incur costs differently
15
Q
outcomes
A
rewards minus costs
we want our rewards to exceed our costs
16
Q
comparison level - CL
A
our expectations about the types of outcomes we believe we should be receiving
our expectations for romantic relationships come from three sources
-past relationships
-parents
–if parents are positive it raises our CL
-media
satisfaction
-outcome minus CL is positive = satisfaction
17
Q
comparison level of alternative - CLalt
A
the types of alternatives you perceive outside of your current relationship
often occurs in romantic relationships
-what could you be doing instead of being in this relationship
–spend time with friends
–pursue a hobby
18
Q
commitment/stability
A
outcome minus CLalt is positive = commitment/stability
19
Q
social exchange breakdown
A
outcome > CL and CLalt = satisfying, stable
CLalt > outcome > CL = satisfying, unstable
CL > outcome > CLalt = dissatisfying, stable
-common in abusive relationships
CL and CLalt > outcome = dissatisfying, unstable
20
Q
characteristics of friendships
A
voluntary equality assistance and support -there for each other emotionally activity sharing -common interests disclosure and confidentiality
21
Q
Knapp’s Stage Theory of Relationships assumptions
A
coming together is not necessarily good
coming apart is not necessarily bad
stage theory simplifies a complex process
stage theory is oriented towards romantic relationships
22
Q
movement in stage theory
A
related to rewards and costs
23
Q
stages in coming together
A
initiating experimenting intensifying integrating bonding
24
Q
initiating
A
first greeting time
positive impression
demographic information
superficial
25
experimenting
```
can move quickly
self-disclosure
-not much depth
impression management is important
people are exchanging information to find a connection
```
26
intensifying
more gradual
self-disclosure deepens and broadens
commitment is growing and time together is increasing
declarations of commitment occur
27
integrating
occurs if people feel there is a solid base of affection
both people begin to fuse their personalities
breadth and depth of disclosure increases
people expect to see you together
28
bonding
making the relationship public
making it entirely exclusive
for friends
-bridesmaids/groomsmen
29
stages in coming apart
```
differentiating
circumscribing
stagnating
avoiding
terminating
```
30
differentiating
both people begin to emphasize their differences over their similarities
may begin to argue over these differences
a lot of healthy friendships can cycle thorough this stage
31
circumscribing
occurs when you rope a topic off as off limits
because you don't talk about it, communication lacks breadth and depth
may resemble small talk
-purpose is to separate
32
stagnating
relational standstill
33
avoiding
characterized by physical and psychological separation
34
terminating
the end of the relationship
physical termination is pretty abrupt
psychological distance can be more gradual
35
reasons for relationship termination
```
context
-geographical
-social
--what do friends and family thing
--friends and family generally see our relationships with less bias than we do
lack of fulfillment
-needs and desires not met
precipitating events
-cheating
-deception
-big conflict
-loss of child
boredom
-number 1 reason
-"lost the spark"
```
36
relational maintenance strategies
positivity
-most important for satisfaction
-the number one thing people look for in a relationship is warmth
openness
-being willing to self-disclose
-romantic relationships need to be able to talk about the relationship
assurances
-assuring the other person of your commitment to the relationship
-typically verbal
social networks
-greater social circles merge together
sharing tasks/activities
-tasks: doing your fair share of the relationship
--the friend who always reaches out to set up times to hang out
37
dialectical theory (Baxter's Dialectical Approach)
assumptions
- relationships are never stable, instead they are constantly changing
- dialectics are the push-and-pull of contradictory needs
- how you manage dialectic tensions will determine the change/direction of the relationship
38
dialectical internal tensions
within the relationship
connection vs. autonomy
-draw away from others vs. being drawn closer to others
-interdependent vs. independent
-plays out in how much time a couple spends together
predictability vs. novelty
-desire to reduce uncertainty vs. desire for spontaneity
openness vs. closedness
-need to be known vs. need for privacy
39
nonverbal intimacy components
```
indicate that we are either in a close relationship or want a close relationship
close proximic distance
forward lean
eye contact
direct body orientation
smility
touch
vocal expressiveness
```
40
verbal intimacy components
self-disclosure
-especially true when sharing information that we wouldn't normally share with anyone else
-indicates a deep sense of trust and connection
-primary way that we create trust through language
altercentrism
-focused on others
relationship talk
-using language to show your care for the relationship
-similar to assurance - this is more about showing you care about the relationship rather than the future
inclusive pronouns
-used to build stronger relationships with others
-shows how people think about things
casual forms of address
-nickname
41
Lee's Love Styles
```
eros
storge
ludis
mania
agape
pragma
```
42
eros
physical love
finding someone physically attractive/beautiful
maintaining a sense of eros in a long term relationship is important
43
storge
companionate love
love based on friendship
high degree of sharing tasks and activities
44
ludis
game playing love
see relationships as casual and playful
avoid commitment
like to play the field
45
mania
possessive love
love that is demanding and dependent (on being in a relationship)
always need to be in a relationship
high degree of need to be in control
tend to experience extremes in relationships
46
agape
unselfish love
you're more focused on giving than receiving
in line with 1 Cor. 13
goal is to meet the needs of the other person
can lead to your needs not being met
can be taken advantage of
can cause a lot of guilt in the other person
47
pragma
practical love
look for an individual that meets the characteristics you think will work well with you
common sense approach to love
rational
48
sex differences with love styles
women score higher in storge, mania, and pragma
| men score higher in ludis
49
what is conflict
an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive that they have incompatible goals
50
conflict myths
conflict always damages relationships
-negative conflict can hurt a relationship
-productive conflict can hurt a relationship
conflict can always be avoided
conflict always occurs because of misunderstanding
conflict is always the sign of a poor relationship
conflict can always be resolved
51
conflict styles
```
based on two things
-concern for self
--scale of passive to assertive
-concern for others
--scale of uncooperative to cooperative
avoiding
accommodating
competing
compromising
collaborating
```
52
avoiding
denial of conflict
changing topics, making jokes
lose, lose situation - won't cooperate but won't assert yourself
53
accommodating
lose, win
- don't assert individual needs
- put others before yourself
54
competing
win, lose
| -can come off as uncaring
55
compromising
moderately everything
| trade-offs and exchanges
56
collaborating
win, win
high in assertiveness and cooperativeness
most constructive
like to create a new solution that satisfies both parties
takes a lot of time and energy
involves coming up with a new and creative solution
both parties have to collaborate
57
if used on a regular basis...
competing and avoiding put a negative strain on relationships
-erodes commitment, trust, and satisfaction
collaboration, compromising, and accommodating nourish relationships
-result of a high concern for others
58
conflict goals
content
relational
identity/face-saving
process
59
content
```
deal with "what do we want?"
can be listed and described
2 struggles
-we want different things
-we wand the same thing
```
60
relational goals
who are we to each other?
| deal with "how do I want to be treated; how much time do we spend together"
61
identity/face-saving goals
when our goals focus on us in the interaction
-"who am I in this interaction"
goal is to protect self from humiliation, embarrassment, exclusion
62
process goals
how we deal with conflict
what process will be used to manage conflict
questions
-how formally/informally will conflict be dealt with
63
attributions and conflict
```
giving a cause to people's behavior
attributions in conflict
-attributions for negative behaviors
--internal/external
-who caused the conflict
--irony of the situation
--"your fault"
---leads to avoiding/competing
--"my fault"
---leads to collaborating/compromise/accommodating
-avoid undue negative attributions
```
64
rules for positive conflict management
```
define the problem and the goals
avoid evaluative stagements
-focus on descriptive statements
avoid gunny-sacking
-storing up problems and unleashing them all at once
-two responses
--get defensive
--gunny-sack back
manage emotions
perspective taking (other oriented)
```
65
types of communication at work
upward communication
downward communication
horizontal communication
outward communication
66
upward communication
subordinate to superior
diluted communication
-make yourself look better
67
downward communication
superior to supordinate
68
horizontal communication
```
communication among peers
people with similar power
more casual
more disclosure
gossip
```
69
outward communication
someone inside the organization to someone outside the organization
exemplified in sales position
polite
informative
70
types of power
```
what is power
-ability to influence others
-ability to resist others' influence attempts
legitimate
referent
expert
reward
coercive
```
71
legitimate
power based in the position
| respect for the position
72
referent
power based in attraction
| due to being likeable, charismatic, physically attractive
73
expert
power based on a person's knowledge, experience, or skills
| everyone is an expert in something
74
reward
ability to give a reward/satisfy a need
| one of the most underutilized types of rewards is praise and recognition
75
coercive
the ability to punish
76
leadership styles
the behavioral patterns a person enacts when they are trying to lead
task-oriented
person-oriented
Laissez-Faire style
77
task-oriented (authoritarian)
exercise direct control over people
specify what needs to be done and how to do it
more effective when the leader is the expert
accomplish more work
78
person-oriented (democratic)
suggest ways of proceeding
encourage groups to determine what will actually be done
stronger relationships are formed under this style
more time but more creativity
79
Laissez-Faire style
do nothing
| the worst style
80
family defined
traditional
-husband, wife, children all living in same house together
-focuses on blood and legal relationship
a system with two or more interdependent people who have a common history, a present reality, and who expect to influence each other in the future
81
communication rules in families
conversation orientation
| conformity orientation
82
conversation orientation
the degree to which a family favors an open climate of discussion
high conversation orientation family
-interacts frequently nd freely
-feel comfortable talking to parents about a whole host of issues
low
-some topics may be off limits/taboo
83
conformity orientation
the degree to which the family stresses uniformity
typically in beliefs, values, behaviors
high
-hierarchical
-expectation that the family comes first
low
-stress individuality, independence, equality
-up to the individual to determine their path
-accepted to do what is best for you first
84
family types
consensual
pluralistic
protective
Laissez-Faire
85
consensual
high conversation, high conformity
| manage the tension between these two things
86
pluralistic
high conversation, low conformity
talk about a low but few rules
can look more like a friendship
87
protective families
```
low conversation, high conformity
communication is to emphasize rules
stereotypes
-military
-religious
```
88
Laissez-Faire
low conformity, low conversation
lack of involvement
sometimes not by choice but because that's the way it has to be
89
family type trends
a lot of families shift as children grow
-begin as protective
-move to consensual
-move to pluralistic
the conformity orientation is much less important than the conversation orientation
-when there is conversation, self-esteem increases, children are less likely to engage in high-risk behaviors, and better performance in school
90
Fitzpatrick's Marriage Types
traditionals
independents
separates
91
traditionals
highly interdependent
-share a lot of time and space
see themselves as a couple opposed to two individuals in a relationship
tend to believe that sometimes independence has to be sacrificed for the good of the relationship
tend to engage traditional gender roles
tend to not be overly assertive in conflict
tend to emphasize stability over spontaneity
most satisfied
-closest relationship
92
independents
share and exhibit some companionship, but less so than the traditionals
allow each other individual space and time
the relationship itself shouldn't limit personal freedoms
have androgenous gender roles
-male/female responsibilities are shared
more spontaneous than traditionals
deal better with change
engage conflict head on
93
separates
spend very little time together
-share very little companionship
very independent
maintain a distance with their relationship partner
relationship can be seen as a convenience
tend to avoid conflict
94
Gottman's Four Horseman of the Apocalypse
if these 4 behaviors are seen in a marriage, there is a 93-96% chance the marriage will end in divorce
criticism
-making personal attacks on character
defensive
-ward off personal attack
-"it's not my fault"
-whine
--present themselves as an innocent victim
contempt
-any statement you make to your partner from a superior place
-contempt is primarily an emotion
-when you display contempt, it causes a physiological response in the other person
-most damaging of the four behaviors
stonewalling/avoidance
-listener withdrawal from the conversation
-type of avoidance
-elevated heart rate predicts stonewalling
95
definitions of sex and gender
```
sex
-biological differences
-male/female
gender
-psychological/social differences
-masculine/feminine
```
96
feminine communication is
communal - for the purpose of building relationships
| caring
97
masculine communications is
assertive
straightforward
content-oriented
instrumental - goal/achievement-oriented
98
alpha and beta bias
```
alpha
-the assumption of differences
-can miss similarities
-can exaggerate differences
beta
-the assumption of similarities
-can miss differences
we have an alpha bias in relation to sex differences
```
99
challenge of cross-sex friendships
emotional bond challenge
-generally, men and women are socialized to see each other as potential romantic partners
-it can create a lot of uncertainty in the relationship
--occurs because there is the potential for a romantic relationship to occur
sexual challenge
-men and women are socialized to see each other as potential sexual partners
-bigger issue for men
public presentation challenge
-"Whitworth Challenge"
-when people see you together, they assume something romantic is happening when there isn't
100
how LDR's are different
```
idealization
-tend to put best foot forward
-more positivity
-minimize differences
--picture painted of the relationship that is not as clear as it could be
mediated communication
-the relationship is primarily built on talk and self-disclosure
conflict avoidance
-feeds into idealization
```
101
strategies to improve LDRs
be intentional
