Leslie

Question 1

Sylvia: I know you are. But even when you behave like a complete asshole I love you completely

Answer 1

Leslie: I must say, Kate, I find it somewhat difficult to counsel married couples when on e of the partners refuses to cooperate. I thought your husband agreed to join us

Question 2

Kate: He promised he would

Answer 2

Leslie: Then let’s simply assume he’s late

Question 3

Kate: Let’s simply assume he’s with Sylvia… Oh, Leslie. Maybe I should just say the hell with the whole thing!

Answer 3

LESLIE: Now now. Don’t give up. We’ve come a long way, you and I. Please sit, Kate.

Question 4

Kate: I wish people would stop telling me to sit

Answer 4

Leslie: All right, stand, then. But let’s take advantage of Greg’s absence to review the bidding (consulting her notes) During our last session, you seemed to suggest that the had actually fallen in love with Sylvia

Question 5

Kate: He has! Totally!

Answer 5

Leslie: Couldn’t you be exaggerating?

Question 6

Kate: He says things to her that he never says to me!

Answer 6

Leslie: Such as?

Question 7

Kate: “You look beautiful, you look wonderful, I love you.” All that stuff

Answer 7

Leslie: Maybe he is speaking to you THROUGH Sylvia, Kate. Maybe Sylvia is simply the medium through which he expresses his love for you

Question 8

Kate: No, this is different, Leslie. Even when we were first married, he never looked at me the way he looks at Sylvia

Answer 8

Leslie: and could you describe that look?

Question 9

Kate: There’s sort of a deep, distant light in his eyes. A sort of… primeval affection

Answer 9

Leslie: do you think… now how shall i put this Kate?… Do you think there is anything physical in his relationship with Sylvia? Now be frank

Question 10

Kate: No!

Answer 10

Leslie: You’re sure? these things happen. There was a couple in here the other day who did very peculiar things with their cat

Question 11

Kate: There is nothing physical between Greg and Sylvia. Oh, there’s a lot of patting and pawing and stroking and licking– THAT goes on ad nauseam. But nothing beyond that. I almost with there were.

Answer 11

Leslie: Why do you say that, Kate?

Question 12

Kate: Because then it would just be an affair. And any wife worth her salt can deal with that! But this! This is much deeper. I feel I’m up against something that has gone on for hundreds of thousands of years – ever since the first wolf came out of the forest and hunkered down next to the caveman by his fire

Answer 12

Leslie: But Kate: don’t you think the cave woman must have had ways of shooing that wolf back into outer darkness.

Question 13

Kate: I’ve tried! That’s why I got the grant to go to England. But all it did was aggravate the issue. Now he loves her even more! He says nothing becomes her like the leaving thereof. So he won’t leave her (noise off)

Answer 13

Leslie: Ah, but I believe I hear Greg (Greg comes in, breathlessly)

Question 14

Kate: We’re not interested, Greg.

Answer 14

No. Let him talk, Kate. You’ve had your say, he should have his

Question 15

Kate: (to Leslie) see? See what I’m up against?

Answer 15

Kate, why don’t you go in the other room and read a magazine? I’d like to talk Greg alone, if I may

Question 16

Kate: Is there a phone out there? Maybe I’ll just go ahead and reconfirm my single seat on British Airlines

Answer 16

No, now trust me, Kate. I’ve been in this business a long, long time

Question 17

Kate: But he won’t listen. It’s impossible to get through.

Answer 17

Sit down, Greg.

Question 18

Greg: Thanks (He sits)

Answer 18

Talk to me, Greg… Say whatever is on your mind

Question 19

Greg: O.K. (Pause) She’s not herself lately

Answer 19

I’m glad you see that, Greg

Question 20

Greg: Particularly these past few weeks

Answer 20

And why do you think that, Greg?

Question 21

Greg: Oh I know exactly why. She resents me.

Answer 21

And why do you suppose she resents you?

Question 22

Greg: Because I made the decision

Answer 22

What decision?

Question 23

Greg: To have her spayed

Answer 23

Ah… You’re talking about

Question 24

Greg: Sylvia

Answer 24

Sylvia

Question 25

Greg: You don't want me to talk about Sylvia?

Answer 25

No I do. If you want to, Greg.

Question 26

Greg: Kate doesn't like me to

Answer 26

Well that's Kate, Greg. As for me, I'd like very much to hear about Sylvia. Because by telling me about Sylvia, you are really telling me about yourself

Question 27

Greg: O.K. well to begin with, she's got great eyes

Answer 27

Sylvia?

Question 28

Greg: Sylvia. I finally understand the word "limpid" now. She's got limpid eyes...--- oh and hey, I found this poem that Shakespeare wrote about her

Answer 28

Shakespeare?

Question 29

Greg (recites): Who is Sylvia? What is she, That all our swains commend her?...

Answer 29

Greg.

Question 30

Greg: holy, fair, and wise is she...

Answer 30

Greg!

Question 31

Greg: The heavens such grace did--

Answer 31

GREG!

Question 32

Greg: Yes?

Answer 32

I'm afraid we're confined to the fifty-minute hour

Question 33

Greg: Sorry. I get carried away.

Answer 33

(leaving the desk, standing in front of him) Greg, I'm going to do something here which I normally do much further along in the therapy process. I'm going to put myself into the picture

Question 34

Greg: Yourself?

Answer 34

What's my name, Greg?

Question 35

Greg: Kate said it was Leslie

Answer 35

Leslie it is, Greg. Now am I a man or a woman?

Question 36

Greg: You're a .. (hesitates) Woman.

Answer 36

You hesitated, Greg

Question 37

Greg: Yes. Well. Sorry

Answer 37

No, no. I wanted you to hesitate. I wanted you to select my gender. That's why I call myself Leslie. It's a name which works either way.

Question 38

Greg: it does, doesn't it?

Answer 38

And that's why I wear these ambivalent clothes. I may be a man pretending to be a woman, or I may be a woman pretending to be a man. I let my patients select my gender, Greg

Question 39

Greg: I thought you were a woman

Answer 39

Because you wanted me to be a woman

Question 40

Greg: I did?

Answer 40

We project our needs onto the world, Greg. Life is shapeless and absurd. We use words, names, and categories to give us a sense of shape. We need that sense of shape to get through the day

Question 41

Greg: O.K.

Answer 41

You even see it in the Bible, Greg. God has Adam name the animals. So that Adam can construct his own order out of the chaos around him

Question 42

Greg: Hmmm

Answer 42

Which brings us to your dog, Greg

Question 43

Greg: Sylvia

Answer 43

Sylvia. You wanted your dog to be a woman, too. That's why you named her Sylvia

Question 44

Greg: She was already named Sylvia

Answer 44

But you embraced the name. Because you needed a woman

Question 45

Greg: I already have a woman. Her name is Kate

Answer 45

(Becoming impatient) You wanted another KIND of woman, Greg. You wanted the subservient little wife you once kept in the suburbs. You wanted the worshipful daughter who once hung on your every word. You wanted a Sylvia, Greg. If Sylvia didn't exist, you would have had to invent her

Question 46

Greg: You may be right, Leslie

Answer 46

(Sardonically) I think I am, Greg. (all business) Now these are what we therapists call "the dangerous years"

Question 47

Greg: The dangerous years

Answer 47

The years between the first hint of retirement and the first whiff of the nursing home

Question 48

Greg: Oh God

Answer 48

No, we should make the most of these years, Greg. I, for example, am exploring the boundaries of gender identification. Kate is moving beyond child-rearing to a career in the public classroom. You, on the other hand, seem to have retreated into a kind of pastoral nostalgia

Question 49

Greg: Pastoral nostalgia?

Answer 49

By acquiring Sylvia

Question 50

Greg: You think that's true?

Answer 50

I do, Greg. And I think it's time to move on. It's time for you to accept the challenges that come with later life

Question 51

Greg: Maybe so

Answer 51

Drop the leash, Greg, and once again take hold of your wife's hand. See if you are capable of walking with her, side by side, toward the setting sun

Question 52

Greg: Thank you, Leslie. This all makes a lot of sense

Answer 52

I think it does, Greg. I think it makes a great deal of sense. (Gets up, stretches) I must say I'm exhausted. This has been a long, tough haul for all of us (Smiles/cross) Well. Now may I bring Kate so we can all sit down together and work through a few specifics

Question 53

Greg: Aren't you forgetting one thing?

Answer 53

What thing, Greg

Question 54

Greg: Sylvia

Answer 54

Sylvia?

Question 55

Greg: you've seen Kate, you've seen me, don't you think you should see Sylvia?

Answer 55

You want me to hold a session with your dog?

Question 56

Greg: Not a session, Leslie! Jesus, what kind of a nut case do you think I am? No, I just think you should pat her, maybe play with her a little, possibly take her for a short walk. Because then you'll see, Leslie...

Answer 56

See what?

Question 57

Greg: Then you'll see that Sylvia is more than just a name, or a gene, or a psychological symptom... Our dogs, Leslie! Our dogs. (Long pause)

Answer 57

(Quietly) Greg.

Question 58

Greg: Yes?

Answer 58

I'd like you to leave right now. quickly if you would. And send Kate in on your way out

Question 59

Kate: What hap--

Answer 59

Kate, I want you to do several things

Question 60

Kate: several...?

Answer 60

First I want you to divorce Greg

Question 61

Kate: Divorce--?

Answer 61

Take him for every nickel he's got!

Question 62

Kate: Oh I couldn't

Answer 62

Then I want you to get a gun

Question 63

Kate: A gun?

Answer 63

To shoot Sylvia. I hope you get her right between the eyes

Question 64

Kate: But...

Answer 64

Sorry. I'm late for my shrink (Exits quickly tearing up the case folder)