Midterm 1 Flashcards
1
Q
Wilmot conflict definition
A
“an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from others in achieving their goals.”
2
Q
Jordan conflict definition
A
“when a difference between two (or more) people necessitates change in at least one person in order for their engagement to continue and develop”
3
Q
Dues conflict definition
A
“discomforting difference”
4
Q
6 elements of conflict
A
Difference Interdependence Opposition Emotion Behavior Context
5
Q
Why is conflict hard to define?
A
Conflict is a process, not an event
Resolution is an outcome
Definition and Scope of “Conflict Management”
6
Q
4 awful truths about conflict
A
-Conflict will occur
-It always involves costs and risks
-Most conflict damage results from dysfunctional conflicts behavior
-Much of the damage is irreversible
Broken trust, lost relationships
Organizational time & resources
7
Q
3 fundamental strategies
A
- fight
- flight
- communicate
8
Q
All conflict strategies…
A
involve choices about communication.
9
Q
where and when do we learn
A
-Where Families Neighborhood, school Organizations Cultures -When Early
10
Q
Wrong lessons in conflict
A
- Conflict should not occur
- Conflict occurs between enemies
- Conflict must not escalate
- All conflicts should be resolved
- “If we could only communicate . . .”
- Winning requires having more power
11
Q
Systems Approach to Conflict
A
- The “Systems Insight”
- Family, Group, and Organizational systems
- Conflict as systems interaction
12
Q
Fundamental attribution error
A
.When it comes to other people, we tend to attribute causes to internal factors such as personality characteristics and ignore or minimize external variables. This phenomenon tends to be very widespread, particularly among individualistic cultures. Psychologists refer to this tendency as the fundamental attribution error; even though situational variables are very likely present, we automatically attribute the cause to internal characteristics.
The fundamental attribution error explains why people often blame other people for things over which they usually have no control. The term blaming the victim is often used by social psychologists to describe a phenomenon in which people blame innocent victims of crimes for their misfortune.
13
Q
Moore’s Continuum of Conflict Management
A
- Private decision making by parties (avoidance, negotiation, problem solving, mediation)
- Private third party decision making (arbitration, grievance, disciplinary action)
- Legal authoritative third party decision making (courts, legislative, enforcement)
- Extralegal coerced decision making
14
Q
Perception problems
A
- goals
- scarce resources
- attributions
15
Q
conflict spirals
A
Destructive Conflict
(Wilmot) “costs exceed gains”
(Dues) “costs greater than necessary”
16
Q
Gottman’s “4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse”
A
Complaining/criticizing
Contempt
Defensiveness
Stonewalling
17
Q
6 key concepts
A
-perception incompatibility -overlapping -interacting -changing -goals, needs, motives
18
Q
K. Lewins field theory, TRIP goals
A
Topic
Relational
Identity
Process
19
Q
Topic Goal types (2)
A
Type A: We want different things
Type B: We want the same things
20
Q
Relational goal examples
A
- How do I want to be treated?
- Independence, Interdependence: Boundaries
- Perceptions & attributions
- Relational needs: (Schutz) Inclusion, affection, & control
- “Relational Dialectics” (L. Baxter)
- Strategies for content & identity goals
21
Q
Identity goal examples
A
- The concept of “face”
- Self Identity
- Goals/needs?
- Approval & performance relationship (self confidence, self efficacy)
- Problem of trivializing identity goals
- Identity goals as strategies for content & relational goals
22
Q
Process goal examples
A
The process/content connection
The process/relationship connection
The process/face connection
The process/outcome connection
23
Q
changing goals
A
Prospective goals
Transactive goals
Retrospective goals
Conflicts about conflict management
24
Q
Needs and Motives
A
- Goals = limited concept
- Conscious intent not a requirement
- Living organisms & systems theory
- “Motive” = rich, complex concept
25
Application
- Goals = limited concept
- Conscious intent not a requirement
- Living organisms & systems theory
- “Motive” = rich, complex concept
26
Power definition
"Ability to cause or influence an outcome"
27
Three parts of power
- control: source of trouble
- ability to force: an outcome, unlikely
- influence: on outcomes and other people
28
ways we view power (5)
- ethical: "rights", "power trips" "weakness as moral failure"
- distributive view vs. integrative view: D: either/or, I: both having it together (better)
- power as identity (potency)- doesn't feel good to be powerless
- power as responsibility: if you have the power, responsible for outcome, burdensome
- powerlessness as innocence- nothing I could do about it, not my fault
29
4 kinds of power
- relational (relative): straight for interdependence, best for conflicts
- personal (inner): depends on person, clarity, more of this leads to leadership, less leads to attaching yourself to someone with more
- situational: power arises from situation
- official: legitimate- sanctioned somehow
30
All power is exercised
- conciously
- unconciously (more often)
- directly
- indirectly (more often)
31
All give away power
- to be liked, hired, promoted, pleased, served, loved
- to escape responsibility
- to avoid effort
32
4 power currencies and bases
- Raven and French
- Kipnis
- Folger, Poole, Stutman
- Wilmot and Hocket
33
Raven and French (1956)
- reward
- coercive-punish
- legitimate- assigned to be in charge
- referent- who I know, relate to
* *Expert
34
Kipnis (1976)
- threats- if coercive power
- promises- if reward power
- informational control- expert
- reinforcement control
35
Folger, poole, stutman (1993)
- skills and abilities
- expertise about the task
- attractiveness and likeability
- control over rewards and punishments
- formal position (legitimate)
- allies (referent)
- persuasion skills
- possessions- stuff is power
36
Wilmot and Hocket (1995)
- resource control
- interpersonal linkages
- communication skills
- expertise
37
Power in specific conflict (paper 1)
- focus of relational currencies
- leverage
- be aware of, accept, assess, use strategically, and responsibly
38
EXAM QUESTION: Leverage, Dues definition
"The other party's stake in my being satisfied with the outcome of this conflict
39
When you have less power...
- assess your leverage
- assess the others leverage (what is my risk here)
- persistance (calm, hang in there)
- allies
- structural protections and resources
40
When you have more power...
- recognize others leverage
- use it to motivate negotiation, not dictate solutions
- the difference between legitimate power and real power
- avoid damaging relationships (drive to be equal)
- do use it when necessary
41
Status
- relational concept
- social rank or place
- formal or informal
- both a valued "end" and an instrumental "means"
- present in all social relationships
- subject of ongoing negotiation
- a form of power
42
Managing status in/during conflicts
- be aware of yours and the other partys
- avoid threats to status if possible
- can use status as leverage
- HUMILITY really helps
43
Emotion and conflict dealing with subjective facts
- basic dimension of life
| - how we survive and thrive-steered by our feelings
44
difference between feelings and emotions
F-more fleeting
E- bigger, deeper, more permanent
* often used interchangably
45
3 components of emotion
1. ) felt, physiological experience
2. ) based on interpretation/.appraisal: meaning you attach to it
3. ) expression
46
6 ideas about emotion in western culture
1. ) Plato
2. ) Aristotle
3. ) Age of Reason
4. ) Romantic Age
5. ) Just Science (Skinner)
6. ) Neuroscientific revolution (Damasio)
* look up more info on these all
47
Conflict and emotion (5)
- emotions motivate.arousal
- events trigger emotions, responses
- intensity varies
- identity is at stake- messes with sense of who you are, so you push back during conflict (ex: rigorous)
- emotions define relationships- def. nature of relationship
48
arousal definition
energy to act
49
Triggers and Patterns
- situations trigger complex patterns of emotion
- emotion patterns trigger behavior patterns
- which trigger emotion patterns
* can help us adapt
* can induce us to behave badly
50
How triggers work (4)
- perceive an event-perception of an event
- attribution/judgment
- emotional responses
- multiple, conflicting emotions
51
During the conflict process, emotions are:
- multiple
- conflicting
- changing
also: -hard to recognize
- harder to articulate (hard for all humans to speak emotion, harder for men for men)
52
Wrong ideas (Wilmot)
- emotion-irrational
- should ignore to resolve conflict
- hinder decision making
- emotion=weakness
- emotions don't belong at work
- must be justified
- must be repaired (by me)
- anger means I don't respect or love
53
Emotion/Stress/Conflict
- stress=arousal in response to challenge
- short term (built in)
- long term
54
Distress vs. eustress
eustress=good stress
55
life events and stress, stress scale
- death of spouse
- death of family member
- divorce
- marriage
- moving
- job loss
- job change
- financial loss
56
stress and coping (5)
- consumes attention and energy
- increase emotional reactions
- tends to interfere with listening
- increases the threat value of negative messages
- reduces behavioral flexibility
57
problematic emotions
- motivate/hinder solving problems
- anger
- fear
- sadness/hurt
58
useful rules (4)
- treat emotions as internal facts
- report relevant emotions
- never "should" or "object" to an emotion
- control behavior, not emotions (no excuse for abuse)
59
ON TEST: 5 requisites of expressing emotions constructively ***
1. ) access- recognize what I'm feeling
2. ) self-esteem- self respect, "I have a place by virtue of being, I am who I am, deserve what everyone else has"
3. ) safe environment
4. ) communication skills
5. ) willing/able receiver
60
emotional residues
"relational transgressions" (Melts)
- perceived event
- tied to "rules"
- requires at least explanation
- produces lingering emotional responses (resentments)= "emotional residues"
61
more work to do?
- may linger
- may require forgiveness (letting go)
- may signal need to do initial or additional "resolving" work on a conflict.
62
Invention of the Adversary system
- 6th century bc
- costs of fighting to settle disputes
- replace physical combat with verbal
- trusted 3rd party to judge
- beginning of "court system"
- arrival of democracy in Athens- after very bad tyrants as leaders
- spread in time
63
Adversary system had an overload on what?
reasoning, dysfunction of adversary system
64
focus on reasoning elaboration
- Greeks viewed themselves as primarily reasoning human beings, with powerful emotions that needed to be managed
- Aristotle invented logic
- value of skill in argument and persuasion
- a market for teaching and study of rhetoric
- Socrates and Plato object
- Aristotles response
65
Roman and Western Civ
- Aristotle won: Athens kept adversary system
- Rome (a republic) conquered Greece
- Romans built rhetoric into their education system as one of the "seven liberal arts"
66
Western civ build education, dispute resolution, and governments on the concept that
man as reasoning being and adversary system
67
Downside of adversary system
- Plato did have a point: Winning is often priveledged over truth or justice
- in law
- in politics
- persuasion becomes more a psychology study and a study of sound argument
68
deep flaws in adversary system for conflict management
- view of man as reasoning being, with problematic emotions
- assumption that conflict is competitive
- tends to unnecessarily escalate conflicts, harming relationships and hiding optimal solutions
69
Adversary system today
-is and will remain important
'-need for compotence and skill in argument
-get compotent help when useful
-be aware of the downside
70
strategies
general set of behavior, based on assessments or assumptions about a conflict, aimed toward a conflict mgmt goal
71
tactics (Wilmot)
"Individual moves people make to carry out a general approsach"
72
Styles (Thomas and Kilmann)
Habitual, default strategies
73
Modes (Thomas and Kilmann)
current term for "styles"
74
a "gold standard" for handling conflict
- direct comm. among the parties
- win-win if you can
- compromise when its the best solution available
- compete if you must
- clear agreement to settle issues
- follow through
75
5 conflict styles
- competition
- avoidance (most common)
- compromise
- collaboration (best)
- accommodation
76
dysfunctional strategies
- avoidance- problem doesn't get solved, builds up over time
- withdrawal (reduced communication)
- imposition (covert or overt)-impose a solution, covert-without telling them
- manipulation-often used, damaging to relationships
- absolute framing- big in politics
- pay back- revenge, has to do with perception of hurt
- bargaining and compromise-assumes it's competitive
- triangulation- IMPORTANT ONE (victim and rescuer), talking to a third party instead of the person you're mad at
- games/control
- deception
- score keeping
77
low interdependence and high affiliation
moving with
78
low interdependence and low affiliation
moving away
79
high interdependence and high affiliation
moving toward
80
high interdependence and low affiliation
moving against
81
relationship qualities?
- trust
- transparency
- good will
82
conflict definition
a discomforting difference
83
dispute definition
that difference that is causing the discomfort
84
4 truths about conflict
1. ) conflict WILL occur
2. ) conflict always involves costs, risks, and sometimes opportunities
3. ) most of the harm and missed opportunity results from handling conflict poorly
4. ) handling conflict constructively is an important part of every human relationship
85
"constructively" usually means (3)
1. ) direct, honest conversation between the parties involved
2. ) aimed at solving the problem
3. ) resulting in mutual agreements for which the parties can hold one another responsible (that you both want)
86
principled negotiation (4 parts)
1. ) focus on interests, not positions
2. ) generate a variety of options
3. ) base decisions on objective criteria
4. ) separate people from the problem
87
Seven useful steps
1. ) define the problem
2. ) consider your goals
3. ) decide whether to try negotiating
4. ) request a meeting
5. ) meet
6. ) contract a resolution
7. ) follow through
88
1 define the problem (do's and donts)
DOS: -focus on behavior
-present or future tense
DONTS: -object to feelings
-judge characters (examples in notes)
89
2 consider your goals (interests)
-content goals
-relational goals
-identity goals
NOTE: goals focus on the present and the future, NOT the past
EXAMPLES:
Content: “I want to use the kitchen without having to clear someone else’s mess from the sink.”
Relational: “I want to feel that my needs and wishes are respected. I don’t want you to feel like I’m trying to police or control you.”
Identity: “I don’t want to feel like a chump.”
90
3 decide whether to try negotiating
- Consider the importance of your goals
- Assess the emotions (yours & other party’s)
- Consider the risks, rewards & odds of success
- Decide (promptly)
- Take responsibility for your decision
91
4 request a meeting (arrange to meet)
-Approach directly and privately
-State the problem
-State your wish for a mutually agreeable solution
-Ask for a meeting
-Reassure and persist if necessary
-What if the other party won’t meet?
WHAT IFS
Other party:
-Begins discussing the issue in response to your approach?
-Wants to discuss the issue immediately?
-Is reluctant to pick a time?
-Brings up other issues and wants to discuss them too (for first)?
-Simply refuses to discuss the issue, and cannot be persuaded to meet?
92
5 meet and talk
-Use “Principled Negotiation” (Fisher & Ury) as a guide
-Focus on problems, not persons
-Focus on interests, not positions
-Generate options for mutual gain
-Choose based on objective criteria
-Begin by thanking the other party
-Keep your goals in mind
-Focus on understanding, then on solutions
-Come prepared and willing to listen
WHAT IFS
Other party:
-Tries to redefine or change the issue?
-Evades or refuses to accept responsibility for his/her behavior?
-Insists on adding other issues to the meeting’s agenda?
-Is defensive about his/her behavior and refuses to adjust?
-Both party’s try, but fail to find a win-win solution?
93
6 contract a resolution (make a contract)
-Agree on who will do what (behavior)
-State the agreement clearly
-Make sure both parties clearly agree
WHAT IFS
Other party:
-Does what she/he agreed to do?
-Fails to do all or part of what he/she agreed to do?
You:
-Do what you agreed to do, but other party doesn’t seem to notice?
-Fail to do all or part of what you agreed to do, and are concerned about this?
94
7 follow through
-Do what you agreed to do
-Pay attention to whether the other party complies
If they do: give positive feedback
-If they don’t: negotiate again, escalate, leave, or give up
95
Listening when in conflict-not impossible, but really hard How hard is it?
- problem of meaning and lenses
- apparent need for defense
- lingering influence of the adversary system-supposed to be able to argue back, need proof
96
What to understand about listening
- listening is 80% of our communication activity, most don't do it well
- hearing is not listening
- listening is not passive, it's active
97
all messages are mixed (4)
- sense (surface, what the words say, "I don't want to go to lunch with you")
- feeling- care a lot, care a little
- tone- relational message tone, how it's said
- intention- good/bad why?
98
listening well means...
- we got the message the speaker actually meant to send, and we let the speaker know we got it
- or, we asked questions to clarify meanings...etc
99
Challenges of listening
- what you say is not what I hear
- differences in meaning are greater when about values and feelings
- emotional arousal interferes
- bad news= hard to hear
- speakers emotional state adds to negativity
100
what listeners can do
- appreciate difficulty of task
- appreciate speakers trust
- focus (eliminate noise and no multi-tasking)
- set time limits
- equal responsibility/ speakers meaning
- give feedback
- check perceptions
- respond
101
How speakers can help
- appreciate listener's willingness and trust
- show appreciation
- avoid face challenges
- I statements ("I feel")
- partner with listener
102
Conflict in close relationships-up close, more important, less comfortable. (3 traits)
-significant interdependance-they affect my life and vice versa
-emotional involvement-strong feeling
-involve identities- tangled up with it, affects self identity
= conflict is more likely and consequences matter most
103
Goals carry different weights
- topic goals may be proxies- for what's bothering us
- relational goals are often paramount
- identity is constantly being negotiated-what conflict says about it
- conflict processes have more to do with relationship and identity
* example: owe me an apology, you should come to me first, process concern
104
sustaining close relationships- harder than it used to be
- live longer, last longer
- outside interests and attractions
- individual interests and social support to pursue them- anything you want
- more and more apparent alternatives
105
critical comm. contexts, destabilizing event
- something happens that changes things
- changes: roles, power and power bases, freedoms/opportunities, needs-shift, identities
- generates stress
- creates conflict
- much harder and much necessary to communicate intimately
106
managing organizational conflict-conflict and its costs
- Inherent in every workplace
- 25% of managers job
- Affects quality of work life
- Affects productivity
- Too often handled poorly
107
Poorly Handled Conflict Costs the Organization
- Time and effort (on the clock)
- Opportunity costs
- Damaged communication
- Damaged relationships
- Reduced motivation
- Turnover
- Litigation
- More time and effort
108
Poorly Handled Conflict Costs Individuals
- Time and effort
- Stress
- Damaged self identity
- Damaged relationships
- Damaged performance
- Reduced motivation
- Hindered career development
- Reduced income
109
Organizations are Social Realities
- Created by people
- Based on idea
- Built and sustained by communication
- Real, with real consequences
110
Theories of Management
- Establish and control roles and relationships
- Establish and control rules of communication
- Establish and control methods and rules of conflict management
111
Management Theories
- Respond to conditions
- Apply existing knowledge
- Based on assumptions
- Both enable and limit
- Have both intended and unintended consequences
112
20th Century Management Theories
-Classical
-Human Relations
-Human Resources
Systems
-Cultures
-Each has its own advantages and baggage when it comes to conflict management.
113
Classical Management & Conflict (assumptions)
```
Assumptions:
Boss knows & rules
Top-down communication
Define everything and follow procedure
Status with hierarchy
Keep everything impersonal
External, not internal
```
So how do we handle conflict
114
Human Relations (assumptions)
Assumptions
Classical assumptions apply EXCEPT
Friendly relationships help productivity
Top management sets up communication system/middle managers solve problems/workers take orders and work
So how do we handle conflict with this approach?
115
Human resources (assumptions)
```
Assumptions:
People are the main resources
Motivation is key to productivity
Must match individual goals with organization goals
Teams & participative decision making
```
So how do we handle conflict with this approach?
116
Systems (assumptions)
Human Resources assumptions apply EXCEPT:
Everything affects everything
Must identify and work with all stakeholders
must always measure outcomes, and continually improve
So how do we handle conflict with this approach?
117
Cultures (assumptions)
Assumptions
Organizations create/become cultures
Cultures organize, influence, & control behavior and relationships
Culture = “the way it’s really done here.”
How do we handle conflict with this approach?
118
Organizational conflict management- the old way
- the boss decides
- take your complaint to supervisor
- collective bargaining
- take it to court
- disciplinary procedures
- grievance procedures
- arbitration
- public relations (telling our story)
119
shortcomings of the old way
- boss doesn't know
- supervisor won't help, or will rescue
- compromise not= win win
- court and arbitration are adversarial and expensive
- internal formal procedures are adversarial, expensive, and harmful
- PR can't fix it after the fact
120
Management "to-do's":
- model
- set policy
- create formal structure/procedures
- create and nurture informal processes
- set policies, expectations, and provide accountability
- avoid creating unnecessary conflict
- help with mending
121
emerging Informal Approaches: ADR
Mediation
- "neutral"
- guides process and some content
- on the record
- required step in formal process
122
Organizational Ombudsmen: standard of practice
- informal
- voluntary (cant be required)
- confidential (off the record)
- "neural" (cannot advocate)
123
Coaching and training
- executive coaching
- "abrasive executive" coaching
- conflict coaching
- assessment
- training
- O D
124
managing the conflict climate
-roles of individuals, culture, and climate
-general approaches to organizational climate:
R. Levering
-trust management
-the work matters
-enjoy colleagues
125
conflict climate definition
climate=how it feels to be and work here
conflict climate= the influences of the organization's climate on its members behavior in managing their conflicts
REMEMBER: it is how individual members manage every day conflicts that have the greatest effect
126
16 elements of conflict climate
- power/status differences
- risk of disclosure
- positive feedback
- personal stake in the organization
- supervisor relationship
- sharing organizational information
- stress levels
- bullying?
- listening and responding
- outcome expectations
- confront/avoid
- direct/triangulate
- collaborate/compete
- agree/impose
- forgive/payback
- informal assistance
127
To do for individual members (5)
- check existing policies and procedures
- check on accountability
- observe actual practice
- assess climate for yourself
- observe norms, but nudge them in the right direction
