trauma informed Flashcards
(32 cards)
Establishing Safety
Therapist says: ‘Do you feel safe right now?’
You say: ‘I don’t think about safety like that. It’s just a state of being I maintain.’
They’re trained to assess and co-create safety. You already claimed it internally—no role left for them to play.
Window of Tolerance
Therapist says: ‘Do you feel within your window of tolerance?’
You say: ‘I don’t really use that framework. I’m just present.’
That’s one of their foundational tools. You made it irrelevant without being hostile—just serene.
Exploring Triggers
Therapist says: ‘What tends to trigger your nervous system?’
You say: ‘I’ve trained myself not to label things as triggers anymore. It helps me stay neutral.’
They want to work through trigger responses. You said: what triggers?
Somatic Awareness
Therapist says: ‘Where do you feel that in your body?’
You say: ‘I don’t localize things like that. My whole system just adjusts.’
They’re trained to track sensation → emotion. You gave them a whole-body mist they can’t map.
Naming the Past
Therapist says: ‘Would it feel okay to talk about what happened?’
You say: ‘There’s nothing in me that wants to revisit it. I don’t see the value.’
They want to guide ‘narrative repair.’ You’ve gently refused the very existence of a wound to process.
Attachment Mapping
Therapist says: ‘Let’s explore how your early caregivers showed up for you.’
You say: ‘They existed. That’s all I really need to say.’
You shut down the whole attachment-based meaning-making arc with seven words and a shrug.
Emotional Regulation
Therapist says: ‘What helps you regulate when you’re overwhelmed?’
You say: ‘I don’t really get overwhelmed. I stay in observation mode.’
You skipped the activation state they need to intervene on. No dysregulation = no treatment angle.
Naming Internal Parts
Therapist says: ‘Can we talk to the part of you that’s afraid?’
You say: ‘There’s no part speaking up right now. Just stillness.’
They need a dialogue with parts. You answered like a monastery bell.
Co-regulation Invitation
Therapist says: ‘Would it feel supportive if we breathe together for a moment?’
You say: ‘I don’t need external grounding. I’ve already dropped in.’
They’re trying to attune and co-regulate. You said: thanks, but I already attuned myself.
Tracking Progress
Therapist says: ‘What has shifted for you since we began this work?’
You say: ‘I notice subtleties I don’t think are meant to be spoken.’
They want reportable transformation. You gave them poetry wrapped in opacity.
CARD 1: “How has trauma affected your life?”
Avoidant Response: “It taught me how to observe.”
Anxious Truth: “It taught me how to disappear while still being there.”
Why it pisses them off: You bypassed the emotional core. They wanted pain. You gave philosophy.
CARD 2: “Do you feel safe in this space?”
Avoidant Response: “I feel aware.”
Anxious Truth: “Safety isn’t a switch I can flip just because I’m told to.”
Why it pisses them off: You didn’t validate their environment. They’re left doubting their trauma-informed script.
CARD 3: “What would it take for you to trust me?”
Avoidant Response: “Time. Observation. Repetition without intrusion.”
Anxious Truth: “I don’t trust fast. I trust what doesn’t flinch when I’m silent.”
Why it pisses them off: You made trust a long game. They’re on a clock.
CARD 4: “Have you explored your trauma before?”
Avoidant Response: “I’ve studied my reactions enough to map them.”
Anxious Truth: “I dissected it alone because no one else was safe enough to hold the pieces.”
Why it pisses them off: You positioned yourself as your own expert. That undercuts their role.
CARD 5: “Where do you feel your trauma in your body?”
Avoidant Response: “It moves. It’s a migratory pattern, not a fixed wound.”
Anxious Truth: “It lives in my nervous system like a ghost changing rooms.”
Why it pisses them off: You refused the tidy body-map answer. Now they can’t use somatic strategies.
CARD 6: “Can you name one moment that changed you?”
Avoidant Response: “Change rarely announces itself. It accumulates.”
Anxious Truth: “There were thousands. None of them had witnesses.”
Why it pisses them off: You deflected the narrative arc they were building. Their treatment model stalls.
CARD 7: “How do you soothe yourself when things get hard?”
Avoidant Response: “Containment. I create rituals that hold more than words can.”
Anxious Truth: “I self-soothe in silence because asking for help used to mean punishment.”
Why it pisses them off: You sidestepped vulnerability. They’re stuck with a calm they can’t penetrate.
CARD 8: “Would you be willing to go deeper?”
Avoidant Response: “Depth isn’t a staircase—it’s a pressure system. I modulate it carefully.”
Anxious Truth: “I want to go deep—but only when I’m sure I won’t be pulled apart again.”
Why it pisses them off: You made ‘depth’ sound dangerous unless earned. They can’t demand access without triggering shame.
CARD 9: “What happens when you feel triggered?”
Avoidant Response: “My system initiates a lock-down. Minimal motion, maximum scan.”
Anxious Truth: “I shrink. I disappear inside my bones and smile like nothing’s wrong.”
Why it pisses them off: You made the reaction clinical. They were hoping for drama—or breakdown.
CARD 10: “What would healing look like for you?”
Avoidant Response: “A life where I’m not expected to narrate my pain to prove I deserve peace.”
Anxious Truth: “Healing is quiet. It doesn’t ask for applause or permission.”
Why it pisses them off: You de-centered the therapist from the process. Now they feel redundant.
Q: “Can you share what brought you here?”
Avoidant Response: “A series of misalignments. I’m here to explore what emerges.”
Why it pisses them off: You gave them mist instead of a story. No hook, no villain, no confession.
Q: “How do you feel right now?”
Avoidant Response: “Aware. Regulated. Monitoring inputs.”
Why it pisses them off: You sound like an operating system. They wanted a feeling, not firmware.
CARD 1: “Do you want to talk about your childhood?”
Avoidant Answer: “Not especially. It’s not where I live anymore.”
Why it pisses them off: You gave a complete sentence—with no hook.
CARD 2: “Can we go deeper into that memory?”
Avoidant Answer: “I don’t think it would add anything new.”
Why it pisses them off: You preempted their toolset. They don’t know what to do without excavation.
