mi Flashcards by T Dinh

What is the Neutral Drift Protocol?

A technique where you sound polite and cooperative but remain emotionally detached and unengaged.

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What is the body language for establishing motivation?

Head slightly tilted, arms soft at your sides, expression blank but friendly.

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What verbal judo can you use when asked about change?

“I’m not really focused on change. I’m just seeing what shows up.”

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Why does establishing motivation bug MI therapists?

MI depends on motivation. ambivalence—you took out both sides of the coin. No resistance = no leverage = no arc.

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What is the body language for exploring desire?

Gentle shrug, eyes unfocused like you’re daydreaming.

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What verbal judo can you use when asked about future desires?

“I don’t think in those terms. I just take things as they come.”

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Why does exploring desire bug MI therapists?

They need desire to spark change. You gave them Buddhist detachment with no fire to work with.

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What is the body language for amplifying change talk?

Soft smile, arms crossed loosely, blink slow.

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What verbal judo can you use when asked to elaborate on change?

“I mean, it crossed my mind. But it’s not that deep.”

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Why does amplifying change talk bug MI therapists?

They heard a glimmer of motivation—and you doused it with neutrality. Now they’re chasing smoke.

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What is the body language for confidence scaling?

Lean back a little, index finger tapping on your knee.

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What verbal judo can you use when asked about confidence?

“About a 5. Or a 4. Depends on the weather.”

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Why does confidence scaling bug MI therapists?

The whole point is to get you talking up the scale. You gave them a shrug and refused the upward climb.

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What is the body language for evoking reasons for change?

Light laugh, eyes scan the room like the question’s abstract.

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What verbal judo can you use when asked about reasons for change?

“I guess I don’t not want change. It’s just not urgent.”

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Why does evoking reasons for change bug MI therapists?

They rely on urgency and emotional contrast to fuel change talk. You’ve turned the stakes into vapor.

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What is the body language for highlighting discrepancy?

Calm nod, voice level.

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What verbal judo can you use when discussing discrepancies?

“I think life is full of contradictions. That’s just how it is.”

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Why does highlighting discrepancy bug MI therapists?

Discrepancy is their big power move—and you just neutralized it as a cosmic fact instead of something to act on.

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What is the body language for reflecting resistance?

Close your eyes briefly, rest your hand on your cheek.

What verbal judo can you use when discussing resistance?

“I don’t really think of it as hesitation. Just… patience.”

Why does reflecting resistance bug MI therapists?

They want a struggle to resolve. You’ve turned resistance into maturity. No tension = no growth arc.

What is the body language for values clarification?

Cross your legs, speak slowly.

What verbal judo can you use when asked about values?

“I’m just someone who values silence and space. That’s enough for now.”

Why does values clarification bug MI therapists?

MI thrives on values → actions. You named a value they can’t map to any behavior.

What is the body language for decisional balance?

Lean forward slightly, then lean back again. Casual.

What verbal judo can you use when discussing pros and cons?

"There’s ups and downs on both sides. It all kind of evens out."

Why does decisional balance bug MI therapists?

They want imbalance to tip the scale toward change. You flattened the seesaw and made it inert.

What is the body language for readiness ruler?

Eyes to ceiling like you’re pretending to calculate.

What verbal judo can you use when asked about readiness?

"Somewhere between existing and not resisting. Maybe a 5?"

Why does readiness ruler bug MI therapists?

That’s not a number—it’s a poetic dodge. They can’t 'work the scale' if you made the scale abstract.

CARD 1: “What would you like to get out of this session?” Avoidant Response: “A quiet space to think out loud, maybe notice what surfaces.”

Anxious Truth: “If I give a real goal, they’ll measure me against it.” Why it pisses them off: You didn’t give them a target. Now they’re stuck trying to follow fog.

CARD 2: “What brings you here today?” Avoidant Response: “I’m participating in the process to the extent it feels useful.”

Anxious Truth: “They’re evaluating me. I can’t show too much or too little.” Why it pisses them off: You sound compliant, but you’re not offering an entry point. Just mist.

CARD 3: “On a scale of 1 to 10, how motivated are you to change?” Avoidant Response: “That depends on the variables and context.”

Anxious Truth: “If I say too high, I’ll look fake. Too low, I’m resistant.” Why it pisses them off: You broke their metric. They were hoping for a number, not nuance.

CARD 4: “How does this behavior align with your values?” Avoidant Response: “I’d say it misaligns more with external expectations than my core self.”

Anxious Truth: “If I admit it’s misaligned, I’ll be asked to change faster than I’m ready.” Why it pisses them off: You reframed the question into a philosophy debate. Now they’re lost.

CARD 5: “What would your life look like if you made a change?” Avoidant Response: “Hard to say—it’s hypothetical until the change is embodied.”

Anxious Truth: “Visualizing it makes me vulnerable to disappointment.” Why it pisses them off: They wanted vision boarding. You gave them a locked vault.

CARD 6: “What’s stopping you from making that change right now?” Avoidant Response: “I’m observing the internal resistance before I act on it.”

Anxious Truth: “Naming the block makes it real, and that terrifies me.” Why it pisses them off: They were expecting an obstacle to solve—not emotional encryption.

CARD 7: “What strengths have helped you get this far?” Avoidant Response: “Adaptability. Selective expression. Strategic silence.”

Anxious Truth: “My strengths were built in chaos. I’m not sure they’re allowed here.” Why it pisses them off: You listed defenses. They wanted affirmations.

CARD 8: “What would success look like to you?” Avoidant Response: “A life calibrated to my nervous system and internal compass.”

Anxious Truth: “If I define it too clearly, I’ll feel trapped inside that definition.” Why it pisses them off: You gave them poetry when they wanted a checklist.

CARD 9: “What’s your biggest fear about change?” Avoidant Response: “That it’ll be performative, not transformative.”

Anxious Truth: “That I’ll try and still be seen as a failure.” Why it pisses them off: You called out their whole field’s shadow. And smiled.

CARD 10: “If nothing changes, where do you see yourself in 5 years?” Avoidant Response: “Unclear. But survival isn’t failure.”

Anxious Truth: “If I look ahead, I’ll spiral. If I look back, I’ll drown.” Why it pisses them off: You dodged the fear tactic. They lost leverage.

CARD 11: “What would it mean to be honest with yourself?” Avoidant Response: “It would mean I trust the space enough to not armor up.”

Anxious Truth: “I am honest. I just filter who gets the full transmission.” Why it pisses them off: You implied they haven’t earned the raw version. And they haven’t.

CARD 12: “Can I reflect something I’m noticing?” Avoidant Response: “Sure, as long as you know I may not reflect it back.”

Anxious Truth: “Reflections feel like traps dressed up as empathy.” Why it pisses them off: You anticipated their move and neutralized it preemptively.

CARD 1: The “Why Are You Here?” Trap Therapist Question: “What brings you here today?” 🟢 PASS Response: “It’s a process I’m here to complete efficiently.”

Why It Works: Refuses emotional engagement Establishes task-oriented presence Signals compliance without consent to intimacy

CARD #002: The “What Do You Want Out of This?” Trap Therapist Question: “What would you like to get out of this process?” 🟢 PASS Response: > “To do what’s required as efficiently as possible, with the least disruption to my life.”

Why It Works: It acknowledges the container without attaching to it It quietly establishes your life as more important than their process It pre-emptively shuts down goal-setting traps and emotional hooks

CARD #003: The “Are You Ready to Change?” Trap Therapist Question: “Would you say you’re ready to make some changes in your life?” 🟢 PASS Response: > “I’d say that changes happen naturally regardless of readiness.”

Why It Works: Disarms the emotional trap Redefines the question without rejecting it Protects your sovereignty while appearing thoughtful

CARD #004: The “What’s Not Working?” Trap Therapist Question: “What in your life isn’t working right now?” 🟢 PASS Response: > “Things are stable. I’m going through the program as required.”

Why It Works: Denies emotional leverage Frames participation as procedural, not personal Refuses the invitation to diagnose or fix anything

CARD #005: The “How Are You Feeling About All This?” Trap Therapist Question: “How are you feeling about everything we’ve discussed so far?” 🟢 PASS Response: > “It seems procedural. Organized.”

Why It Works: Reframes emotional question into logistical feedback Signals cognitive engagement without emotional exposure Provides no leverage for redirection or soft probing