3. trap recognition (love) Flashcards
(23 cards)
CATEGORY: Emotional Manipulation
- Guilt Hook
Sample Question: “Why didn’t you tell me?”
What They Want: An apology, emotional explanation, guilt-based access
Frameworks:
Reversal: “Would that have changed anything?”
Access Audit: “Was that something you were entitled to?”
- Emotional Label
Sample Question: “You seem angry…”
What They Want: An admission of emotional state to gain leverage
Frameworks:
Reflective Mirror: “What makes you think that?”
Frame Dissection: “Why do you see distance as a bad thing?”
- Victim Bait
Sample Question: “I guess you don’t care anymore.”
What They Want: Guilt-induced emotional validation
Frameworks:
Reflective Mirror: “Is that how it feels for you?”
Reversal: “What made you think that was my job?”
- Urgency Pressure
Sample Question: “So you’re just going to ignore this?”
What They Want: A reactive response instead of sovereign stillness
Frameworks:
Tone Flip: “Is urgency helping either of us right now?”
Reversal: “Why does this need to be handled on your timeline?”
- Caretaker Trap
Sample Question: “I just needed you to be there for me.”
What They Want: Make you feel selfish for having boundaries
Frameworks:
Access Audit: “What makes you think I was the right person for that?”
Reflective Mirror: “Was I the only one available?”
CATEGORY: Control & Access Probes
- Control Probe
Sample Question: “Don’t you trust me?”
What They Want: Emotional submission or affirmation
Frameworks:
Frame Dissection: “What makes you think trust = disclosure?”
Reversal: “Is there something I should know?”
- Entitlement Test
Sample Question: “After everything I’ve done for you?”
What They Want: To guilt you into reciprocation or explanation
Frameworks:
Access Audit: “Are you keeping score?”
Frame Dissection: “What do you think I owe you, exactly?”
- Transparency Demand
Sample Question: “You owe me honesty.”
What They Want: Forced disclosure
Frameworks:
Access Audit: “Who decides what’s owed here?”
Reversal: “And if I didn’t… then what?”
- Narrative Trap
Sample Question: “That’s not how I remember it.”
What They Want: To reframe the past and create doubt
Frameworks:
Frame Dissection: “Are we comparing memories or avoiding responsibility?”
Mirror: “Is that the part you want to focus on?”
- Accountability Twist
Sample Question: “So this is all my fault now?”
What They Want: To guilt you into softening your boundary or truth
Frameworks:
Reversal: “What makes you feel blamed?”
Frame Dissection: “Do you feel like accountability is attack?”
CATEGORY: Frame Control Tactics
- False Dichotomy
Sample Question: “So it’s either your way or no way?”
What They Want: To frame the conversation with limited options
Frameworks:
Frame Dissection: “Are those really the only two options?”
Mirror: “Is that how you see compromise?”
- Loaded Question
Sample Question: “When did you decide I wasn’t worth it?”
What They Want: Force a justification of a false accusation
Frameworks:
Reversal: “When did you decide I had to justify myself?”
Frame Dissection: “What are you really asking?”
- Invalidation Probe
Sample Question: “You’re being overdramatic, don’t you think?”
What They Want: To discredit your emotional reality
Frameworks:
Reflective Mirror: “What would a reasonable response look like to you?”
Tone Flip: “Does this feel productive to you?”
- Expert Bypass
Sample Question: “A therapist would say you’re avoidant.”
What They Want: To disqualify your stance with fake authority
Frameworks:
Frame Dissection: “Do you think quoting a therapist ends the conversation?”
Reversal: “Is that your belief, or something you heard?”
- Blame Mask
Sample Question: “I’m just being honest—sorry if that upsets you.”
What They Want: To disguise an attack as truth
Frameworks:
Tone Flip: “Sounds like you needed to say that more than I needed to hear it.”
Reversal: “Was that meant to help or just land a punch?”
CATEGORY: Social Shame Triggers
- Public Frame Check
Sample Question: “Are you really going to act like that in front of everyone?”
What They Want: Public compliance through shame
Frameworks:
Tone Flip: “Are you saying that because you’re uncomfortable or because I did something wrong?”
Reversal: “Why is that your concern?”
- Ally Pressure
Sample Question: “Everyone else thinks so too.”
What They Want: To isolate you through imagined group consensus
Frameworks:
Frame Dissection: “Does that make it more valid, or just louder?”
Mirror: “Who exactly is ‘everyone’?”
- Inconsistency Mirror
Sample Question: “That’s not what you said before.”
What They Want: Frame you as unreliable or dishonest
Frameworks:
Frame Dissection: “Are you looking for consistency or control?”
Reversal: “Do you want truth or predictability?”
- Gaslight Frame
Sample Question: “That never happened.”
What They Want: Make you question your memory or perception
Frameworks:
Mirror: “What makes you so sure?”
Frame Dissection: “Is it more important to win the memory or address the moment?”
CATEGORY: Collapse + Reconnect Hooks
- Reconnection Bait
Sample Question: “Can’t we just go back to how it was?”
What They Want: Reset intimacy without accountability
Frameworks:
Frame Dissection: “What part of the past are you hoping will fix the present?”
Reflective Mirror: “What do you miss exactly?”
- Soft Trap
Sample Question: “I just miss the old you.”
What They Want: Collapse your current growth into nostalgia-based guilt
Frameworks:
Tone Flip: “Is this about connection or control?”
Frame Dissection: “Do you miss me—or who I was when I tolerated more?”
- Love Bomb Recall
Sample Question: “I was only trying to show you how much I cared.”
What They Want: Reframe manipulation as love
Frameworks:
Frame Dissection: “Are you saying love excuses behavior?”
Reversal: “Was that for me—or for how you wanted to feel?”
