A child's needs

Question 1

What are a child’s 5 basic needs?

Answer 1

• To feel significant
• To feel loved
• To feel that they matter
• To feel celebrated
• To feel that their parents are proud of them

Question 2

What does learned helplessness mean?

Answer 2

A child can never meet their own needs. And when their needs aren’t met, they blame themselves (learned helplessness). They don’t know how to blame the adult. They think “it must be my fault”.

Question 3

What happens when a child’s needs are not met?

Answer 3

When a child’s needs are not met, two things can happen:
1. They form the belief that their needs will never be met.
2. They give up on their needs.

Question 4

The four S’s

Answer 4

Children need to be
- Seen
- Soothed
- Safe
- Significant

Question 5

How can RTT help clients whose needs were not met as a child?

Answer 5

RTT helps the client recognize that they are no longer that dependent child and realize that they can now meet their own needs.

Question 6

What are an adult’s needs?

Answer 6

• Purpose
• Own sense of identity / authenticity
• Certainty
• Growth
• Diversity
• Significance
• Connection
• Contribution
• Making a difference

Question 7

What are the ‘3 core beliefs’?

Answer 7

At the root cause, one or all three of these beliefs will be present:
1. It’s not available to me
2. I’m different and I can’t connect
3. I’m not enough

Question 8

The 4 roles

Answer 8

1. To be sick
2. To be perfect / brilliant
3. To be a carer
4. To be difficult (a rebel)

When seeing clients, describe the 4 roles to the client and ask them which role they play and which role their spouse, parents, siblings, boss, colleagues, etc. play.