Chapter 1 Flashcards
(207 cards)
1
Q
what are the 7 ways intimate relationships are unique from casual ones
A
knowledge, interdependence, caring, trust, responsiveness, mutuality, and commitment.
2
Q
interdependance is … (they often affect each other), …. (they have meaningful impact on each other),… (they influence each other in many different ways), and … (they influence each other over long periods of time).
A
frequent, strong, diverse, enduring
3
Q
The qualities that make these close ties tolerable are …3
A
caring, trust, and responsiveness.
4
Q
… is powerfully rewarding, and the perception that our partners recognize, understand, and support our needs and wishes is a core ingredient of our very best relationships
A
Responsiveness
5
Q
what is the difference between mutuality and interdependence
A
mutuality= they recognize their close connection and think of themselves as “us” instead of “me” and “him” interdep= the extent to which they need and influence each other
6
Q
what is the significant moment in a developing relationship when new partners first acknowledge their attachment to each other
A
the transition from me to us
7
Q
intimate partners are ordinarily…. That is, they expect their partnerships to continue indefinitely, and they invest the time, effort, and resources that are needed to realize that goal
A
committed
8
Q
are all 7 needed for intimacy to occur
A
no but feel closest when they all line up and most meaningful this way
9
Q
intimacy can also vary enormously over the course of a long relationship.
A
t
10
Q
we need frequent, pleasant interactions with intimate partners in lasting, caring relationships if we’re to function normally :T
A
human need to belong
11
Q
Our need to belong is presumed to necessitate “…..”
A
regular social contact with those to whom one feels connected
12
Q
how many intimate relationships do we need
A
when the need to belong is satisfied our drive for more relationships is reduced= quality over quantity
13
Q
who our partners are matters greatly
A
f just need to feel like we belong supported by the ease with which we form relationships with others and from the tenacity with which we then resist the dissolution of our existing social ties
14
Q
who is being along for long periods of time so stressful
A
anything that threatens our sense of connection to other people can be hard to take
15
Q
belonging is tied to health
A
t even influences mortality
16
Q
Our mental and physical health is also affected by the … of our connections to others
A
quality
17
Q
how does a lack of intimacy relate to social problems
A
a lack of intimacy can both cause such psychological problems and make them worse
18
Q
better marriages only helped peoples illnesses when they were less severe
A
f 3 times more likely to be alive 15 y later
19
Q
Why should we need intimacy so much?
A
the need to belong evolved over eons, gradually becoming a natural tendency in all human beings
20
Q
how many people married in 1965 vs now
A
95% vs less than 80% 50% presently married
21
Q
people are marrying later: what age?
A
27 and 29
22
Q
3 new marriage stats
A
- less marriage, marrying later and more cohabiting, less married parents, more divorce, working moms
23
Q
In 2015, … percent of the babies born in the United States had unmarried mothers
A
40
24
Q
About …. of all marriages end in divorce, a failure rate that’s 2-and-a-half times higher than it was when your grandparents married
A
one-half
25
is divorce still on the rise
the divorce rate has been slowly decreasing for couples with college degrees but it remains high and unchanged for people with less education
26
prejudice and discrimination against those who choose to remain single and opt not to devote themselves to a primary romantic relationship:T
singlism
27
Middle-aged Americans who have never married are ... more likely than those who are married to die an early death
two-and-half times
28
how many singles prefer being unattached than in a relationship
4%
29
so do people need a soulmate to be happy and healthy?
no not everyone wants or needs a constant companion or soulmate
30
do the people who do marry today hold it in the same regard?
no we’re less likely to consider it a solemn, life-long commitment (less norms to get and stay married)
31
do changes in cultural standards matter
yes provide foundation for our relationships they shape our expectations and define the patterns we think to be normal.
32
does cohabiting increase chances of successful marrying
not if they didn't already have that plan, cohabitation increases a couple’s risk that they will later divorce
33
why does cohabitation increases a couple’s risk that they will later divorce
they have been living together from younger ages
| less committed to each other (keeping options open)
34
cohabitation is more tumultuous and volatile than marriage usually is
t more conflict and physical aggression
35
the longer people cohabit, the less enthusiastic about marriage—and the more accepting of divorce—they become. does this mean they break up sooner
no they become les likely to marry but also don't break up
36
5 years down the road, cohabitating couples are just as likely to break up as they were when they moved in Page 11together. is this the same for married couples
f longer marriage less likely to div
37
so why do cohabiters fare worse
casual cohabitation that is intended to test the partners’ compatibility seems to undermine the positive attitudes toward marriage, and the determination to make a marriage work, that support marital success
38
if you are engaged then cohabit does this remove the negative effects
no even they tend to be less happy with their relationships than those who marry without cohabiting first
39
why are their fewer marriages and fewer lasting marriages
bus cohabiting is accepted as trial run but corrodes relationship
40
why are the norms governing our relationships today different
economics
individualism
new technologies
41
how do economics influence norms
Societies tend to harbor more single people, tolerate more divorces, and support a later age of marriage the more industrialized and affluent they become
42
how many American wives earn more than their partners
1 in 3
43
what's wrong with the rise in individualism
more materialistic, less trusting, and less concerned with others than our grandparents were. And arguably, this focus on our own happiness has led us to expect more personal gratification from our intimate partnerships. will pursue divorce for our own right
44
how do divorce rates in collectivist cultures compare
much lower bus of collective sense of self
45
what new technologies influence relational norms
art insemination
birth control (birth rate all time low)
com technologies
46
how many young adults sext
20% (who also found that 23 percent of the time, those who receive a sext share it with two or three others)
47
COULPES ARE HAPPIER IF THEy go through each others phones
t
48
what are the problems with Facebook and texting in relationships
need to establish more guidelines, make it official making the breakup public and embarrassing, more potential for conflict, temptation
49
T: the frequent interruptions of their interactions that are caused by their various technological devices
TECHNOFERENCE
50
T: which occurs when one partner snubs another by focusing on a phone—is particularly obnoxious
phubbing
51
only the use of a smartphone reduces the quality of the conversation of two people who are just getting to know each other
f simply having a stray smartphone lying nearby reduces
52
T: a simple count of the number of men for every 100 women in a specific population.
sex ratio
53
how does the sex ratio influence relationships norms
```
high = traditional gender roles and sexually conservative
low= more freedmen
```
54
what does it mean to say sex ratio is high
more men
| low= more women
55
a baby book does what to this ratio
low
56
The Roaring Twenties, a footloose and playful decade? high or low sex ration
low
57
what we expect and what we accept in our dealings with others can spring from ...
the standards of the time and place in which we live.
58
Our relationships are also affected by the histories and experiences we bring to them, and there is no better example of this than the global orientations toward relationships known as ...
attachment styles
59
T: They happily bonded with others and relied on them comfortably, and the children readily developed relationships characterized by relaxed trust.
securely attached
60
Other children encountered different situations. For some, attentive care was unpredictable and inconsistent. Their caregivers were warm and interested on some occasions but distracted, anxious, or unavailable on others.= what attachment style
anxious-ambivalent (freak out with leaving caregiver)
| needy in relationships
61
care was provided reluctantly by rejecting or hostile adults.= what attechment style
avoidant
Avoidant children were often suspicious of and angry at others, and they did not easily form trusting, close relationships.
62
how do secure children respond to strange enviro
secure children ran to their mothers, calmed down, and then set out to bravely explore the unfamiliar new setting
63
how do anxious children respond to strange enviro
Anxious-ambivalent children cried and clung to their mothers, ignoring the parents’ reassurances that all was well.
64
how long do these at styles stay with us
Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver (demonstrated that similar orientations toward close relationships could also be observed among adults.
65
how many adults had secure and insecure attachments in Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shavers study
40% insecure
66
Kim Bartholomew (1990) suggested that there were two different reasons why people might wish to avoid being too close to others- adding a fourth attachment style. what are the 2 reasons
In one case, people could want relationships with others but be wary of them, fearing rejection and mistrusting them. In the other case, people could be independent and self-reliant, genuinely preferring autonomy and freedom rather than close attachments to others.
67
what are the 4 attachment styles
secure, preoccupied, fearful, dismissing
68
a preoccupied style, was a new name for ...
anxious ambivalence (renamed the category to reflect the fact that, because they nervously depended on others’ approval to feel good about themselves, such people worried about, and were preoccupied with, the status of their relationships.)
69
describe a secure attachment in adulthood
T: It is easy for me to become emotionally close to others. I am comfortable depending on others and having others depend on me. I don’t worry about being alone or having others not accept me.
70
describe a preoccupied attachment in adulthood
I want to be completely emotionally intimate with others, but I often find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I am uncomfortable being without close relationships, but I sometimes worry that others don’t value me as much as I value them.
71
describe a fearful attachment in adulthood (avoidant)
I am uncomfortable getting close to others. I want emotionally close relationships, but I find it difficult to trust others completely or to depend on them. I worry that I will be hurt if I allow myself to become too close to others.
72
describe a dismissing attachment in adulthood (avoidant)
I am comfortable without close emotional relationships. It is very important to me to feel independent and self-sufficient, and I prefer not to depend on others or have others depend on me.
73
2 Dif ways you can be avoidant
Fearful people avoided intimacy with others because of their fears of rejection. Although they wanted others to like them, they worried about the risks of relying on others. In contrast, people with a dismissing style felt that intimacy with others just wasn’t worth the trouble.
74
It’s also now generally accepted that two broad themes underlie and distinguish these four styles of attachment what are these
people differ in their avoidance of intimacy
| anxiety about abandonment
75
T: which affects the ease and trust with which they accept interdependent intimacy with others
avoidance of intimacy and anxiety about abandonment
76
T: the dread that others will find them unworthy and leave them
anxiety about abandonment.
77
how do the 3 insecure attachment styles differ in their anxiety about abandonment
Preoccupied people want closeness but anxiously fear rejection. Dismissing people don’t worry about rejection but don’t like closeness. And fearful people get it from both sides, being uncomfortable with intimacy and worrying it won’t last
78
attachment styles are discrete, pure categories that do not overlap
f
79
When they are simply asked to pick which one of the four paragraphs fits them best, most people in the United States—usually around ...percent—describe themselves as being securely attached
60
80
attachment styles appear to be orientations toward relationships that are largely learned from our experiences with others.
t
81
the quality of parenting a baby receives can depend, in part, on the child’s own personality and behavior; in this way, people’s attachment styles are influenced by ...
the traits with which they were born, and our genes shape our styles
82
how does a moms attitude influence attachment style of their baby
Expectant mothers who are glad to be pregnant are more likely to have secure toddlers
83
why do secure moms have secure children
mothers who enjoy intimacy and who are comfortable with closeness tend to be more attentive and sensitive caregivers
84
a mother’s influence on the attachment styles of her children ends in preschool
f those who have nurturing and supportive relationships with their parents will be likely to have richer relationships with their lovers and friends 60 years later
85
are we prisoners of our experiences as children
no because our attachment styles continue to be shaped by the experiences we encounter as adults- at styles can be learned and unlearned
86
As many as... may encounter real change in our attachment styles over a 2-year period
a third of us
87
how are attachment styles stable
once they have been established, attachment styles can also be stable and long-lasting as they lead people to create new relationships that reinforce their existing tendencies
88
what are four influential types of individual variation that influence attachment
: sex differences, gender differences, personalities, and self-esteem.
89
what 2 things do normal curves tell us
Such curves describe the frequencies with which particular levels of some trait can be found in people, and they demonstrate that (a) most people have talents or abilities that are only slightly better or worse than average and (b) extreme levels of most traits, high or low, are very rare
90
men do tend to have higher sex drives, on average, than women do
t
91
they differ with respect to a ... that specifies the size of a difference between two groups
d statistic
92
do men mastrubate more than women
yes
93
how many large sex differences are there
A sprawling analysis of modern studies of human sexuality involving 1,419,807 participants from 87 different countries failed to find any difference in the sexual attitudes and behavior of men and women that was as large as that pictured in graph C
94
what are the three vital points about psychological sex differences
- Some differences are real but quite small.
- The range of behavior and opinions among members of a given sex is always huge compared to the average difference between the sexes
- The overlap in behavior and opinions is so large that many members of one sex will always score higher than the average member of the other sex
95
Men are more accepting of casual, uncommitted sex than women are
t but that certainly doesn’t mean that all men like casual sex
96
a highly permissive man has more in common with the average woman on this trait than he does with a low-scoring man.
t
97
Research supports the view that men and women come from different cultures, let alone separate worlds
f does not
98
laypeople underestimate sex differences
f overestimate
99
we should think of think of ... differences, not sex differences, as the more important influences on interpersonal interaction
individual
100
how much less do men desire close relationships
men and women differ little in their desires in close relationships
Both women and men generally want their intimate partners to provide them with lots of affection and warmth
101
What are the consequences of wrongly believing that men are all alike, having little in common with women?`
Pessimism and hopelessness, for two
People who really believe that the sexes are very different are less likely to try to repair their heterosexual relationships when conflicts occur
102
what is the difference between sex and gender differences
sex differences refers to biological distinctions between men and women that spring naturally from their physical natures
gender differences refer to social and psychological distinctions that are created by our cultures and upbringing
103
why is Distinguishing sex and gender differences is often tricky /
because the social expectations and training we apply to men and women are often confounded with their biological sex
104
why is the distinction between sex and gender differences important
is meaningful because some influential differences between men and women in relationships—gender differences—are largely taught to us as we grow up.
105
what's the best example of taught gender differences
gender roles
106
T: the patterns of behavior that are culturally expected of “normal” men and women
gender roles
107
Men, of course, are supposed to be “masculine,” which means that they are expected to be ...
assertive, self-reliant, decisive, and competitive.
108
people inherit how much of their tendencies to be assertive or kind; most of these behaviors are learned
only about a quarter to a third of their
109
how many of us have attributes that fit these gender role expectations cleanly
only half of us
110
... percent—are both assertive and warm, sensitive and self-reliant.
35
111
Such people possess both sets of the competencies that are stereotypically associated with being male and with being female, and are said to be ...
androgynous
112
relationship researchers often use alternatives, referring to the “masculine” task-oriented talents as .. traits and to the “feminine” social and emotional skills as ... traits
instrumental
| expressive
113
what is the best way to think of masculinity and feminine traits
the best way to think of instrumentality and expressiveness is as two separate sets of skills that may range from low to high in either women or men
114
about 15 percent—are either high in the skills typically associated with the other sex :T
cross typed
115
Low in both mas and fem skills :T
undifferentiated
116
how many androgynous, cross-typed, and undifferentiated people in each categories
Equal proportions of men and women fall into the androgynous, cross-typed, and undifferentiated categories
117
gender differences make men and women more compatible
f they “may actually be responsible for much of the incompatibility” that causes relationships to fail
118
traditional men and women enjoy and like each other more than androgynous people do.
f less
119
Instrumental, masculine people often feel ill at ease when they are asked to provide warm, sensitive support to others.
t
120
the disadvantage faced by traditional couples disappears as time goes by
f does not
121
does pairing a traditional man with an androgenous women negative their lack of warmth
men or women who have spouses who are low in expressiveness are chronically less satisfied than are those whose partners are more sensitive, understanding, and kind
122
traditional men have romantic relationships of lower quality than more expressive men do
t
123
being low in expressiveness but not instrumental traits decreases relationship satisfaction
tend to have low self-esteem and to be less well adjusted than those who have better task-oriented skills
124
trad gender roles do both men and women a disservice
t
125
how does female gender roles also seem to cost women money
; around the world, traditional women earn less on the job than their nontraditional co-workers do = depriving them of skills that would facilitate more accomplishments and achievements
126
what gendered partners do most people think they want
when they ponder the partners they’d like to have, most people say that they’d prefer androgynous partners to those who are merely masculine or feminine
127
gender expectations are stricter for women than m
f gender expectations are stricter for men than for women
128
even if they limit our individual potentials and are right only half the time, gender stereotypes persist
t
129
how much does personality change over time compared to attachment and gender differences
not much
130
people who score what on the big 5 have happier relationships
extraverted, agreeable, and conscientious people who are open to new experiences have happier relationships than do those who score lower on those traits
131
do all big 5 traits have the same influence on relationships
no
132
list the big 5 traits from least important to most influential
```
Openness to experience
Extraversion
Conscientiousness
Agreeableness
Neuroticism
```
133
the degree to which people are imaginative, curious, unconventional, and artistic versus conforming, uncreative, and stodgy.
openness to experience
134
T: —the extent to which people are outgoing, gregarious, assertive, and sociable versus cautious, reclusive, and shy.
extroversion
135
T —the extent to which people are industrious, dependable, responsible, and orderly versus unreliable, disorganized, and careless.
conscientiousness
136
—the degree to which people are compassionate, cooperative, good-natured, and trusting versus suspicious, selfish, and hostile. T
agreeableness
137
—the degree to which people are prone to fluctuating moods and high levels of negative emotion such as worry, anxiety, and anger. T
neuroticism
138
People are happier when they have imaginative, adventurous, sociable partners, but what you really want is a lover who is ... and... 5
responsible, reliable, generous and thoughtful, and optimistic and emotionally stable.
139
why is neuritis so bad in a relationship
touchy, pessimistic, and argumentative interactions with others
140
... percent of the satisfaction and contentment spouses would experience in their marriages could be predicted from measures of their neuroticism when they were still engaged
10
141
our enduring traits are shaped by our genes
t but also can be shaped to a degree by our relationships
142
Dissatisfying and abusive relationships can gradually make us more ..., and warm, rewarding partnerships may make us more ... over time
anxious and neurotic
| agreeable
143
our relationships have much bigger effects on the last individual difference we will consider: ....
the self-evaluations we bring to our transactions with others.
144
how do people come to like themselves according to social gauge theory?
self-esteem is a subjective gauge, a sociometer, that measures the quality of our relationships with others. When others like us, we like ourselves; when other people regard us positively and value their relationships with us, self-esteem is high
145
how does evolution explain the sociometer self esteem explanation
Self-esteem became a psychological gauge that alerted people to declining acceptance by others, and dislike or disinterest from others gradually caused people to dislike themselves
146
public events that others witness affect our self-esteem more than do private events that are otherwise identical but are known only to us. what does this tell us
whether we realize it or not, our self-evaluations seem to be much affected by what we think others think of us
147
about .... percent of men and ... percent of women—have had genital sex with a member of the same sex
8, 9 (many of us have fantasies though)
148
about ... percent—consider ourselves to be lesbian, gay, or bisexual
4
149
the processes of intimacy don’t depend much on sexual orientation at all
t
150
There aren't any potentially important differences between same-sex and other-sex relationships
f
Gay men tend to be more expressive than heterosexual men, on average, and lesbians tend to be more instrumental than other women, so gays and lesbians are less likely than heterosexuals to adhere to traditional gender roles
better edu
more liberal
151
same-sex couples may behave differently than heterosexual couples do why
not because of their sexual orientations but because of the sexes of the people involved (about men and women not the gay relationship itself)
152
They have better relationships than heterosexuals do, on average why do you think that is
there are no sex differences in same-sex relationships
153
its hard to like ourselves unless others do
t
154
how do people develop poor self esteem
an unhappy history of failing to receive sufficient acceptance and appreciation from other people.
155
What happens when those people enter new relationships with kinder, more appreciative partners? Does the new feedback they receive slowly improve their self-esteem?
not necisarily, people with low self-esteem sometimes sabotage their relationships by underestimating their partners’ love for them
and perceiving disregard when none exists
not optimistic love will last
156
Whereas people with high self-regard ... when frustrations arise, people with low self-esteem ..
draw closer to their partners and seek to repair the relationship
defensively distance themselves, stay surly, and behave badly
157
why do people with high self-esteem draw closer to their partners when difficulties arise. vs low SE withdrawl?
ecause they are confident about their partners’ love and regard for them,
In contrast, people with low self-esteem have lasting doubts about their partners’ regard and reliability, so when times get tough, they withdraw from their partners in an effort to protect themselves
158
We all need to balance ... with ..., Murray’s team suggests, but people with low self-esteem put their fragile egos before their relationships
connectedness with self-protection
159
why is low SE hard to overcome
They stay on alert for signs of rejection then respond in self defeating ways to try and get the reassurance they crave
160
even after 10 years of marriage, people with low self-esteem still tend to believe that their spouses love and accept them less but this reflects the reality
f than those faithful spouses really do but they are both less satisfied
161
Evolutionary psychology starts with three fundamental assumptions
1. sexual selection has helped make us the species we are today
162
what is sexual selection
advantages that result in greater success at reproduction
163
evolution is about survival of the fittest
f evolution has nothing to do with the survival of the fittest- It is not a question of whether you live or die. the key is reproduction
164
how does human nature explain relationships
motives such as the need to belong have presumably come to characterize human beings because they were adaptive, Page 34conferring some sort of reproductive advantage to those who possessed them
165
evolutionary principles assert that any universal psychological mechanism exists in its present form because ...
it consistently solved some problem of survival or reproduction in the past
166
what does evolution psychology say about gender differences
Second, evolutionary psychology suggests that men and women should differ from one another only to the extent that they have historically faced different reproductive dilemmas
167
according to evolution men and women should behave similarly in .... except when ....
close relationships except in those instances in which different, specialized styles of behavior would allow better access to mates or promote superior survival of one’s offspring
168
These biological differences in men’s and women’s obligatory ...—the time, energy, and resources one must provide to one’s offspring in order to reproduce—may have supported the evolution of ...
parental investment
| different strategies for selecting mates
169
women do choose their sexual partners more carefully than men do and have less casual sex
t
170
a man suffers ....; unless he is completely confident that his mate has been faithful to him, he cannot be absolutely certain that her child is his
paternity uncertainty
171
how does parental uncertainty exist in relationships today
women cheat less yet men are more preoccupied with worries about their partners’ infidelity than women are
172
An evolutionary perspective also makes a distinction between short-term and long-term mating strategies. what are these gender Dif
men have a greater desire than women do for sexual liaisons of short duration; they are more interested in brief affairs with a variety of partners, and when they enter new relationships, they’re ready to have sex sooner than women are
173
how does mens ST relationship drive influence behaviour
go for easy women then prefer chaste women when settling down
seek young and pretty wives
174
as men age, they marry women increasingly younger than themselves
t
175
what are women ST or LT relationship prospects
short-term mates—particularly when they have extramarital affairs they seek sexy, charismatic, dominant men with lots of masculine appeal.
LT good financial prospects
176
women care more than men do about the ... of their long-term partners
financial prospects and status
177
with men valuing good looks and women valuing good incomes, only in western cultures
f globally
178
an evolutionary perspective implies that culture is unimportant.
f
179
a third basic assumption of evolutionary psychology is that cultural influences determine whether ...—and cultural change occurs faster than evolution does
evolved patterns of behavior are adaptive
180
during caveman times how many infants survived to age 4 and how many met puberty
one in every four infants failed to survive their first year of life, and about half didn’t live long enough to reach puberty
181
how has culture changed how men mate
a desire for multiple partners is probably less adaptive for men than it was millions of years ago
modern men may reproduce more successfully if they display a capacity for commitment and monogamy that encourages their partners to allow a pregnancy to occur
182
an evolutionary perspective provides a fascinating explanation for common patterns in modern relationships- are these always fitting?
our inherited habits are triggered by the situations we encounter. Moreover, our habits may fit our modern situations to varying degrees.
Some of these emotions and reactions, derived from the species who were our ancestors, are unnecessary in a modern age, but these vestiges of a former existence are indelibly printed in our make-up
183
Behavior results from the interplay of both ... and ... influences, but some common reactions in people result from ....
personal and situational
| evolved human nature itself:
184
The pressures to which we have been exposed over millennia have left a ... and ... legacy.
mental and emotional
185
what is the support and criticism of evil persopective
the evolutionary perspective has prompted intriguing new discoveries
assumptions about the primeval social environments from which human nature emerged are necessarily speculative
an evolutionary model is not the only reasonable explanation for many of the patterns at issue
186
Women may have to pick their mates more carefully than men do, for instance, not because of the pressures of parental investment but ...
because cultures routinely allow women less control over financial resources
187
critics of an evolutionary perspective emphasize the role of ... in shaping male and female behavior, and they contend that patterns of behavior that are presumed to be evolved tendencies are both .... and ... across cultures than an evolutionary model would suggest
culture
| less noticeable and more variable
188
how would evol proponents respond to culture criticism
there are differences in the mating strategies and behavior of men and women that can’t be explained by social roles and processes
189
bottom line of the evolutionary perspective debate
Whether it evolved or was a social creation (or both), there may well be a human nature that shapes our intimate relationships.
190
The final building block of relationships is the ... that the two partners share
interaction
191
relationships are the sum of their parts
f emerge from the combination of their participants’ histories and talents
192
what does it mean to say trust is a fluid process rather than a static
it ebbs and flows in all of your relationships and depends who you are interacting with
193
Individually, two partners inevitably encounter fluctuating moods and variable health and energy; then, when they interact, their mutual influence on one another creates....
may produce a constantly changing variety of outcomes
194
what are relationships made of
relationships are constructed of diverse influences that may range from the fads and fashions of current culture to the basic nature of the human race. Working alongside those generic influences are various idiosyncratic factors such as personality and experience, some of them learned and some of them inherited
195
are our fears about relationships valid
yes! most of us (56 percent) have had a troublesome relationship in the last 5 years
196
whether our fears are overstated or merely realistic, we’re all likely to experience ...in our relationships on occasion
unexpected, frustrating costs
197
So why take the risk of the cost of relationships?
We need each other. We prematurely wither and die without close connections to other people
198
Intimate relationships differ from more casual associations in at least seven specific ways: ...
knowledge, interdependence, caring, trust, responsiveness, mutuality, and commitment.
199
Cultural norms regarding relationships in the United States have changed dramatically over the last 50 years. list them
Fewer people are marrying than ever before, and those who do marry wait longer to do so. People routinely cohabit, and that often makes a future divorce more, not less, likely.
200
list 4 sources of change in the cultural shift in relationships
Economic changes, increasing individualism, and new technology contribute to cultural change. So does the sex ratio
201
how do we develop our attachment styles
These orientations are mostly learned. Thus, our beliefs about the nature and worth of close relationships are shaped by our experiences within them.
202
There’s wide variation in people’s abilities and preferences, but individual differences are usually ... instead of abrupt.
gradual and subtle
203
define personality
Personality traits are stable tendencies that characterize people’s thoughts, feelings, and behavior across their whole lives
204
what personality traits help or hurt a relationship
Openness, extraversion, agreeableness, and conscientiousness help produce pleasant relationships, but neuroticism undermines one’s contentment.
205
People who have low self-esteem undermine and sabotage their close relationships by ...
underestimating their partners’ love for them and overreacting to imagined threats.
206
An evolutionary perspective assumes that sexual selection shapes humankind, influenced, in part, by sex differences in ... and ...
parental investment and paternity uncertainty.
207
The evolutionary perspective also assumes that cultural influences determine whether inherited habits are ...
still adaptive—and some of them may not be.
