Ch. 2 - Interviewing Flashcards Preview

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Flashcards in Ch. 2 - Interviewing Deck (78):



- a few similarities do not equal relational peers.
- relationships are fostered when both parties share cultural norms and values, education, experiences, personal traits, beliefs and expectations.
- you may find it easier to interact with people of the same gender or race, who share similar political views, have the same major, and love similar music.
- awareness of such similarities able interview parties to understand one another and establish a common ground - literally to expand the overlap of the circles until perceived similarities overcome perceived dissimilarities.
- be cautious because surface similarities such as age, dress and ethnicity may be all that you have in common.
- "similarity is based not on whether people actually are similar but on the perceived (though not necessarily real) recognition or discovery of a similar trait." - Judith Martin




- wanting to take part leads to collaboration
- relationships are enhanced when both parties want to take part actively as speakers and listeners, questioners and respondents.
- the more you are involved and share, the more satisfied you will be with the relationship and look forward to future interactions.
- degree or satisfaction may be apparent in each party's words, gestures, face, eyes and actions.
- effective relationships develop when interviewer and interviewee become interdependent, when "each become aware that what" they do and not do "will have an impact on the other" and each begins to act with the other person in mind.
- their behaviors are joint actions now, not individual actions.




- we interact more freely with person's we like.
- interview relationships are cultivated when parties like and respect one another and there is a marked degree of warmth or friendship.
- occurs when their is a "we" instead of a "me-you" feeling and you communication in a way the other party finds pleasant, productive and fair.
- it is important that both parties know whether feelings toward one another in an interview are likely to be positive, ambivalent, or negative. (signals for hostility are inconsistent)



Affection (continued)

- you may come to an interview with an ambivalent or hostile attitude toward the other party, perhaps due to relational history or what James Honeycutt calls relational memory.
- "even though relationships are in constant motion, relationship memory structures provide a perceptual anchor so that individuals can determine where they are in the relationship."
- relational memory may aid parties in dealing with what researchers call dialectical tensions that result from conflict between important but opposing needs or desires or between opposing or contrasting voices, each expressing a different or contradictory impulse.
- dialectical tensions are not necessarily bad because researchers believe they are a normal part of any close, interdependent relationships and they become problematic only when people fail to manage them properly.




- because each party participates in a continuous process, each is responsible for its success or failure.
- john stewart introduced the concept of "nexting" that he labels, "the most important communication skills" because whenever you face a communication challenge or problem, the most useful question you can ask yourself is "what can I help to happen next"
- he claims that since no one person determines all the outcomes of a communication event, you can help determine some outcomes, even if you feel almost powerless. since no one person is 1000% to blame or at fault, and all parties share responsibility, our next contribute can affect what's happening.



Control (continued)

- who controls what and when poses problems in interviews because interviews frequently involve organizational hierarchies or chains of command: president over vice president, professor over student, supervisor over intern.
- this upward and downward communication may encumber each party, perhaps in different ways.
- Edward Hall: one's status in a social system also affects what must be attended. people at the top pay attention to different things from those in the the middle or the bottom of the system.
- what you look for a value as a student may be quite different from what a professor looks for and values.
- hierarchy may hinder the flow in information and self-disclosure.




- trust is essential in every interview
- trust is the single most important element of a good working relationship.
- trust is essential because potential outcomes affect each party directly - your income, your career, your purchase, your profits, your health, your understanding.
- relationships are cultivated when parties trust one another to be honest, sincere, reliable, truthful, fair, even-tempered, and of high ethical standards - in other words, safe.
- when we trust others, we expect positive outcomes from interactions with them; when we have anxiety about interacting with others, we fear negative outcomes from our interactions with them.



Trust (continued)

- creating trust is a delicate process and may take months or years to develop with another party, but i can be destroyed in an instant if you feel betrayed by a colleague, coworker, friend, etc.
- trust provides a context in which interaction can be more honest, spontaneous, direct and open.
- disclosure is critical to the success of interviews and uninhibited disclosure requires trust.
- unpredictable persons and outcomes lead to cautious questions and responses and sharing of information and attitudes - risk is too high.
- a generation ago 2/3s said they trust other persons - not 2/3s say they don't trust others.
- the result is that their is a greater effort to protect ourselves when communication with other people.


Global Relationships

- in intercultural conflict situations, when we are experiencing high anxieties with unfamiliar behavior (for ex., accents, gestures, facial expressions), we may automatically withhold trust.
- some anxiety already exists in the early stages of relationships.
- this anxiety stems from fears about possible negative consequences of our actions. we may be afraid that we will look stupid or will offend someone because we're unfamiliar with that person's language or culture.


Global Relationships

- in the US we tend to have many friendly, informal relationships and tend to place importance on how a person looks, particularly early on in the relationship.
- we created and discard friendships frequently, while australians make deeper and longer-lasting commitments.
- Arabs also develop friendships quickly, but they believe friends should do favors for one another and have a duty to one another.
- Chinese develop long-term relationships that tend to be strong, and, like the arabs, see friendships as involving obligations.
- relationships develop differently in different cultures.


Gender in Relationships

- gender differences have evolved but have not disappeared.
- "men are from north Dakota and women are from south Dakota" - Kathryn Dindia
- substantial similarity - not differences - in the values both sexes place on supportive communication skills, such as comforting and listening
- regardless of similarities, gender differences of interview parties may be critical in establishing and refining relationships.


Gender in Relationships

- men's talk tends to be directive and gaol oriented with statements that tend to press compliance, agreement or belief.
- women's talk may be more polite and expressive, containing less intense words, qualifiers (perhaps), and disclaimers (maybe I'm wrong, but..)
- women use communication as a primary way of establishing relationships, while men communication to exert control, preserve independence, and enhance status.
- women give more praise and compliments and are reluctant to criticize directly in the workplace while men remain silent when a coworker is doing something well and take criticism straight.
- women report greater satisfaction with their interactions than do men.
- women are more likely to betray and be betrayed by other women.
- men are more likely to be betrayed by other men with whom they are competing with


Interchanging Roles During Interviews:

- a single party cannot make an interview a success, but it can ensure it's failure.
- while one party may control an interview, both speak and listen from time to time, ask and answer q's, and take on the roles of interviewer and interviewee.
- neither party can sit back and expect the other to make the interview a success single-handedly.
- human communicators are always receiving and sending simultaneously. as a result, each communicator has the opportunity to change how things are going at any time in the process.
- the degree in which roles are exchanged and shared and control is shared is often affected by the status or expertise of the parties, who initiated the interview, type of interview, situation, atmosphere of the interaction - supportive, defensive, friendly or hostile.
- these factors determine which two fundamental interview approaches an interviewer selects - directive or nondirective.


Directive Approach

- a directive approach allows the interviewer to maintain control.
- the interviewer establishes the purpose of the interview and attempts to control the pacing, climate and formality of the interview.
- questions are likely to be closed with brief, direct answers.
- although an aggressive interviewee may assume some control as the interview progresses, the interviewer intends to control the interview.
- typical directive interviews are information giving, surveys and opinion polls, employee recruiting, and persuasive interviews such as a sales.
- it's easy to learn, takes less time, enables you to maintain control, and is easy to replicate.


Nondirective Approach

- the interviewee has significant control over subject matter, length of answers, interview climate, and formality.
- q's are likely to be open-ended and neutral to give the interviewee maximum opportunity and freedom to respond.
- typically nondirective interviews are journalistic, oral history, investigations, counseling, and performance review.
- this approach allows for greater flexibility and adaptability, encourages probing questions, and invites the interviewee to volunteer information.
- enables the interviewee to share control.


Combination of Approaches

- be flexible and adaptable when selecting approaches
- the roles we play should guide but not dictate approaches
- you can select a combination of the two approaches.
- you may choose the nondirective approach at first to relax the interviewee and then switch to a directive approach when giving information about the organization and position, and return to the nondirective approach when answering the applicant's questions.
- often the choice of interview approach is governed by societal and organizational rules and expectations.
- adherence to societal roles and expectations may lead to an ineffective interview.



- each party comes to an interview with perceptions of self and of the other party.
- these perceptions may change positively or negatively as the interview progresses.
- our relationships are largely due to these perceptions and determine how we communication.
- four perceptions drive our interactions

1. self-concept
2. self-identity
3. self-esteem
4. self-fulfilling prophecy



Perceptions of Self (self-concept)

- our self-perception - self concept - emerges from our experiences, activities, attitudes, accomplishments and failures, interactions, and the superior and subordinate roles we play.
- it is a demanding and assertive personal view of who we are and how we want to be seen and taken, of the kind of persons we feel ourselves to be or the kind of person we think we out to be.
- our self-concept is a mutual creation of interpretations - how we interpret and think others interpret who we have been, are and will be
- it's through these interpretations that we create our self-identity.



Perceptions of Self (self-identity)

- our self-concept is a mutual creation of interpretations - how we interpret and think others interpret who we have been, are, and will be
- it's through these interpretations that we create our self-identity.
- we come to each encounter with an identifiable "self" built through past interactions, and as we talk, we adapt ourself to fit the topics we are discussing and the people we are talking with, and we are changed by what happens to us as we communicate.
- our self-concept and self-identity are affected by the expectations of our family, society, professions, and organizations place upon us.
- we may experience different self-concepts as we move from one situation or role to another.



Perceptions of Self (self-esteem)

- self-esteem is how we perceive our self-worth.
- it's a critical element of self-concept and self-identity
- we exert a great deal of mental and communicative energy attempting to gain and maintain recognition and approval from family members, friends, peers, and others because we have a "persistent and compelling" need to give an accounting of ourselves
- if we feel respected and taken seriously - have high self-esteem - we may be more perceptive, confident, and likely to express attitudes and ideas that are unpopular.
- low self-esteem can lead to us not correctly interpreting the behavior and communication of others.
- we may succeed or fail because we convince ourself that we will - the self-fulfilling prophecy that influence messages sent and received, risks taken, confident and self-disclosure.
- self-esteem is closely related to self-worth.



Perceptions of Self (self-fulfilling prophecy)

- if we feel respected and taken seriously - have high self-esteem - we may be more perceptive, confident, and likely to express attitudes and ideas that are unpopular.
- low self-esteem can lead to us not correctly interpreting the behavior and communication of others.
- we may succeed or fail because we convince ourself that we will - the self-fulfilling prophecy that influence messages sent and received, risks taken, confident and self-disclosure.



Cultural and Gender Differences

- self-concept, self-identity and self-esteem are central in American and Western cultures because they emphasize the individual.
- not central in Eastern cultures or South American countries.
- Japanese, Chinese and Indians are collectivist cultures, not individualists - they are more concerned with the image, esteem and achievement of the group
- failure to appreciate cultural differences has led to many communication problems for American interviewers and interviewees.
- many citizens of the global village are less concerned with self than with the group.
- China would consider focusing on the individual as egotistical, self-advancing, and disrespectful.



Cultural and Gender Differences

- gender matters in self-concepts because gender roles are socially constructed ideas about how women and men should think and behave.
- men are expected to be more assertive and in charge, and self-sufficient while women are taught to be feminine, submissive, and to show empathy and emotional expressiveness.
- not all men and women act this way but we can't ignore the role of society on gender and self-concept and it's potential impact on an interview.



Perceptions of the Other Party

- perceptions are a two-way process
- allow interactions to alter or reinforce perceptions
- how you perceive the other affects how you approach an interview and how you react during it.
- previous encounters with a party may lead you to look forward to or dread an interview.
- your perceptions may be influence by the other's age, gender, race, ethnic group, size and physical attractiveness - particularly if the person differs significantly from you.
- a positive endorsement of a third party may influence how you perceive a person.
- if you are flexible and adaptable, these perceptions may change as an interview progresses by how the interview begins, the other party's manner, dress, appearance, listening and feedback, verbal and nonverbal interactions, questions and answers, etc.
- warmth, understanding, and cooperation on the part of both parties can enhance perceptions of each.



- the three communication levels differ in relational distance, self-disclosure, risk encountered, perceived meaning, and amount and type of context exchanged.

- level 1
- level 2
- level 3



Level 1

- interactions on this level avoid judgements, attitudes, and feelings
- interactions are safe and superficial
- relatively safe, nonthreatening interactions about such topics as hometowns, professions, sporting events, college courses, families, etc.
- they generate safe, socially acceptable, comfortable and ambiguous answers such as "pretty good" "not bad" "can't complain" that do not reveal judgments, attitudes, or feelings.
- each level is a metaphorical door, with the door being slightly open in level 1 interactions.
- general ideas, surface feelings, and simple information pass through, but either party may close the door quicly and safely if necessary


Level 1 Interaction

- the thickness of the arrow in the figure means that level 1 communication exchanges are most common in interviews, and the length of the arrow symbolizes the relational distance
- level 1 interactions dominate interviews in which there is no relational history, trust, the issue is controversial, or the role relationship is between high-status and low-status parties.



Level 2

- this level requires trust and risk-taking
- this level deals with personal or controversial topics and probe into beliefs, attitudes, values and positions.
- responses tend to be half-safe, half-revealing, as parties seek to cooperate without revealing too much.
- the metaphorical door is half open (the optimist view) or half closed ( the pessimist's view) - as more specific and revealing ideas, feelings and information pass through
- through willing to take more risk, parties retain the option to close the door quickly if needed.
- thickness of the arrow signifies that level 2 interactions are less common than level 1, and the length of the arrows shows hat a close relationship between parties is necessary to move from superficial to more revealing exchanges (level 1 to level 2)



Level 3

- this involves full disclosure
- deal with more personal and controversial topics/levels of inquiry
- Respondents fully disclose their feelings, beliefs, attitudes, and perceptions
- little is withheld and sometimes questioners get more than they bargained for.
- the metaphorical door is fully and wide open.
- risk and benefits are considerable for both parties.
- the thin, short arrow indicates that level 3 interactions are the most uncommon, particularly in initial contacts, and the relationship between the parties must be trusting with a sharing of control.
- a positive relationship is essential for level 3 interactions.




- in most interviews, you must move beyond level 1 to level 2 to level 3 to obtain information, detect feelings, discover insights, attain commitments, etc.
- this requires varying degrees of self-disclosure, and this may not be easy to do.
- unlike being a member of a group or audience into which you can blend or hide, the interview often places your social, professional, financial or physical welfare on the line.
- interviews deal with your behavior, your performance, your reputation, your decisions, your weaknesses, your feelings, your money or your future.




- it carries a degree of risk
- suggestions for reducing risk: be aware of the nature of your relationship with the other party, begin with a safe level of disclosure, be sure disclosure is relevant and appropriate, be sensitive to the effect your disclosure will have on the other party and persons not involved with the interview, continue to disclose at a level at which the other party reciprocates.
- we tend to have few inhibitions when interacting online and may disclose to much info , what some refer to as "hyperpersonal'" revelations - and this info may come earlier in online interactions.


Self-Disclosure: Gender

- women disclose more freely than men, except for anger and are allowed to express emotions (fear, sadness, empathy) more than men.
- bc women are perceived to be better listeners and more responsive than men, disclosure is often highest between woman-to-woman parties, about equal in woman-to-man parties, and lowest among man-to-man parties


Self-Disclosure: Culture

- culture may dictate what we disclose and to whom
- Americans of European descent may disclose a wider range of times, including personal info than Chinese or Japanese.
- Asians disclose more to those with expertise and ability to exhibit honest and positive attitudes than to those who like to talk and show more emotional feelings.
- High context and collectivist cultures (Japan and China) were they are expected to work for the good of the group and to know/follow the cultural norms - disclose less than those in low-context, individualist countries (US and Great Britain)
- conflict can occur if we over-disclose, under-disclose or disclose to the wrong person in differing cultures.


Self-Disclosure: Culture

- while cultures may differ in how, when and tow home self-disclosure is appropriate, some theorists claim that the notion of politeness - maintaining positive rather than negative face - is universal.
- according to the "politeness theory" - all humans want to be appreciate and protected
- positive and negative face are universal motives
- you encounter situations when politeness is essential whenever you are involved in challenging, complaining, evaluating, disciplining, advising and counseling.
- people face a constant struggle between wanting to do whatever they want (which satisfies negative face needs) and wanting to dow hat makes them look good to others (which satisfies their positive face needs)


Self-Disclosure: Culture

- identify several "face threatening acts" such as behavior that violates an important cultural, social or professional rule; behavior that produces significant harm; behavior for which the party is directly responsible; the more power or authority the other party has over the offending party.
- the desire to be polite - to avoid hurting or upsetting another and to show appreciate, understanding or agreement - is one of the most common causes of deception.
- a misleading statement or answer may seem warranted to sustain politeness and harmony in an interview.



Verbal Interactions

- interactions in interviews involve intricate and inseparable combinations of verbal and nonverbal symbols, some intentional and some not.
- verbal interactions, words, are merely arbitrary connections of letters that serve as symbols for people, things, events, ideas, beliefs, and feelings.
- their imperfect nature is experience daily in misunderstandings, confusions, embarrassments, antagonisms, and hurt feelings over what seem to be common and neutral words



Verbal Interactions

- perhaps the greatest single problem with human communication is the assumption of it, and the use and misuse of words cause many problems in interviews.
- for ex., lack of college student's familiarity with what are assumed to be commonly understood words such as impetus, lucid, advocate, derelict, brevity.


Verbal Interactions: Multiple Meanings

- words have many meanings; a word rarely has a single meaning
- game may refer to a basketball game, a wild animal, or a person willing to try new things. to reveal may mean to tell, disclose, make known through divine inspiration, etc.


Verbal Interactions: Ambiguities

- words may be so ambiguous that two parties may assign different meanings to them
- what are a "nice" apartment, an "affordable" education, and a "simple" set of instructions, a "small" college, etc
- may me different things to different people due to their ambiguity


Verbal Interactions: Sound Alikes

- beware of words that sound alike
- similar sounding words may cause confusion in interviews because you usually hear rather than see words.
- examples are see and sea, do and due, sail and sale, to, too, and two


Verbal Interactions: Connotations

- words has positive and negative connotations
- is a suit "inexpensive" or "cheap"
- a car "used" or "preowned"
- persuasion may mean to inspire or to contrive; execution may mean to perform or to hang
- words are rarely neutral


Verbal Interactions: Jargon

- parties may cause problems by altering or creating words
-every profession has its specialized jargon: "vehicular control devices" are traffic lights
- spin doctoring is explaining or defending issues
- a hammer in the military is a manually powered fastener-driving impact device
- use the simplest, clearest, most appropriate words in each interview


Verbal Interactions: Slang

- slang comes and goes and often determines who's in and who's out
- each generation has an unofficial jargon called slang
- past powerful cars went from "keen" in the 1940s-50s to "cool" and "far out" in the 60s and 70s to "decent" and "mean" in the 80s
- today cars are "hot"


Verbal Interactions: Euphemisms

- a euphemism is a substitution of a better-sounding word for a common word.
- you are likely to purchase a lifelike christmas tree that than an artificial one, inquire about the location of the powder room rather than the toilet, purchase an appliance from an associate rather than a clerk, and experience discomfort rather than pain from an invasive procedure rather than surgery


Verbal Interactions: Naming

- you may label a person, place or thing to alter how you and the other party see reality.
- you may purchase a diet cola but not a diet beer, experience a downturn rather than a recession, and order a quarter pound hamburger but not a four-ounce burger.
- naming is an effort to alter social reality
- when substituting a woman for a girl, or firefighter for fireman, you are not being "politically" correct but are addressing the reality that men and women perform professional roles, not girls and boy.
- Words matter


Verbal Interactions: Power Words

- there are power and powerless speech forms
- power forms include certainty, challenges, orders, leading questions, metaphors, and memorable phrases such as "read my lips" "make my day" "take your best shot" "get a life"
- powerless forms include apologies, disclaimers, excuses, indirect questions, nonfluencies such as "uh" and "umm" and meaningless fillers like "you know what I mean" and "you know"; they are powerless, meaningless distractions that communication the inability of a person to articulate thoughts and sentences


Verbal Interactions: Regional and Role Differences

- most american's speak english but there are regional and role differences
- people in new jersey go to the shore, while those is cali go to the beach
- a person in New England asks for soda and a person in the midwest for pop, and a person from the south says a coke
- employees and management view downsizing and outsourcing differently


Verbal Interactions: Gender Differences

- gender differences may lead to power differences
- there are differences in languages used among men and women
- mend tend to be socialized into developing and use power speech forms and to dominate interactions, while women tend to be socialized into developing powerless speech forms and to foster relationships and exchanges during interactions
- women talk is more polite and expressive, contains more qualifiers an disclaimers, includes more second and third person pronouns (such as we rather than I and me), makes more color distinctions, includes fewer mechanical and technical terms, and is more tentative than men's talk
- men not only use use more intense language than women but they also are often expected to do so bc it is considered masculine.
- if a woman uses the same language she may be perceived as bitchy, pushy or opinionated.


Verbal Interactions: Gender Differences

- try to avoid stereotyping language and interaction differences among genders; stereotypes are dangerous assumptions
- despite jokes about women's talkativeness, research shows that men not only hold their own but also dominate the convos. men tend to interrupt women more than other men and do so to state opinions; women tend to interrupt to ask questions
- both men and women use tentative forms of speech
- several factors may influence the way men and women use language, such as the context of the interview, subject matter, length of interaction, status differences and roles being played.


Verbal Interactions: Global Differences

- global use of words may be more significant than foreign words
- language differences are magnified in the global village, even when parties are speaking the same language.
- north american's value precision, directness, explicit words, power speech forms, use of "I" to begin sentences, and straight talk
- other cultures value the group or collective rather than the individual and rarely begin with "I" or call attention to themselves.
- Chinese children are taught to downplay expression
- Japanese tend to be implicit rather than explicit and employ ambiguous words and qualifiers
- arabs tend to employ what is referred to as "sweet talk" or accommodating language with elaborate metaphors and similes
- idioms such as "bought the farm" "thats greek to me" "wild goose chase" "stud muffin" and "hit a home run" are unique and may pose serious problems for those with varying degrees of expertise in a language or culture.


Verbal Interactions: Guidelines for Reducing Language Problems

- Irving Lee wrote that we often "talk past" one another instead of with one another
- you can reduce this likelihood of talking past a party by choosing words with care, expanding your vocabulary, ordering words clearly, choosing words with care, listening to the context in which another party uses words, being aware of common and professional jargon, and keeping up to date with changing uses of language
- always be aware of how gender, age, race, culture and ethnic group of both parties may alter how words are processed and meaning determined.



Nonverbal Interactions

- nonverbal signals send many different messages
-bc of the interactive nature of interviews, each party relies on NV signals to interpret the other's verbal expressions and to know when it is time to talk and listen.
- a head nod, voice, pause, or leading back may invite turn taking or a role change bc we rely on NV cues to express ourselves and interpret the expressions of others.
- since the parties are in close proximity, they are likely to detect and interpret what the other does and does not do nonverbally: eye contact, facial expressions, winks, touches, glances, etc.
- a single behavioral act may convey a message. poor eye contact may tell the other party that you have something to hide, a limp handshake can mean that you are timid, serious facial expression that you are sincere, a puzzled facial expression that you are confused, etc.



Nonverbal Interactions

- your speaking rate may communicate urgency (fast speed), the gravity of the situation (slow speed), lack of interest (fast speed), lack of preparation (slow speed)
- silence may encourage the other to talk, signals that you are not in a hurry, express agreement with what is being said, and keep the other party talking.
- a combination of NV acts may enhance the impact of your message. you may show interest my leaning forward, maintaining good eye contact, nodding your head and having a serious facial expression
- when you fidget, cross and uncross your arms and legs, look down, furrow eyebrows, etc. you may reveal a high level of anxiety, fear, or agitation.
- any behavioral act, or its absence, can convey a message. & any behavioral act, or the lack of one, may be interpreted in a meaningful way by the other party
- physical dress and appearance are important in the first few minutes of interviews as you get to know and respect one another.
- ppl see attractive people are more poised, outgoing, interesting and sociable. how you dress and prepare yourself physically for an interview may reveal how you see yourself, the other party, the situation and the importance of the interview


Verbal & Nonverbal Intertwined

- In mixed messages, the how may overcome the what
- verbal and nonverbal messages are intricately intertwined
- you really can't isolate nonverbal and verbal messages from each other
- the NV often complements the verbal such as when you call attention to important words or phrases through vocal emphasis (like underlining, italicizing, or highlighting in print).
- we complement words with tone of voices, speaking rate, facial expression and eye contact
- the NV may reinforce words with a head nod or head shake. the NV may serve as a substitute for words, such as when we point to a chair without saying "sit here"
- silence can signal disagreement more tactfully than words even when the meaning is the same


Verbal & Nonverbal Intertwined

- research indicates, however, that the NV may be more powerful than the verbal in some circumstances.
- NV may exchange feelings and emotions more accurately; convey intentions relatively free of deception and confusion; be more efficient; and impart ideas indirectly.
- subjects in studies said they thought NV behaviors were more truthful than verbal messages, and if the messages conflicted - mixed messages, they were more likely to believe the NV.
- how trumps what. HOW someone does something trumps WHAT someone says


Nonverbal Messages: Gender and Cultural Differences

- women are more adept at NV communication.
- women are more skilled at and rely more on NV communication than men
- facial expressions, pauses, and bodily gestures are more important in women's interactions than men's, perhaps bc women are more expressive than men.
- women tend to gaze more and are less uncomfortable when eye contact is broke.
- men's lower pitched voices are viewed as more credible and dynamic than women's higher pitches voices.
- female parties tend or sit closer than opposite-sex parties, and males maintain more distance than opposite sex or female parties.
- also be aware of the diversity of NV messages in different part of the world (ex. a thumbs up in the US means way to go but it means screw you in Iran)



- feedback is immediate and pervasive in interviews, and is essential to verify what is being communicated and how.
- there is a heavy stream of feedback between the two interview parties.
- feedback is both verbal (questions, answers, arguments, counterarguments, agreements and disagreements, challenges and compliances) and nonverbal (facial expressions, gestures, raised eyebrows, eye contact, vocal utterances, and posture)
- you can detect critical feedback and asses how an interview is progressing by observing and listening to what is and is not taking place or being said.



- do not read too much into small NV actions and changes.
- a person may fidget because a chair is hard, not bc of a question or answer; pay less attention bc the noise and interruptions, not disinterest; speak loudly bc of habit, not bc of a hearing impairment.
- poor eye contact may be due to shyness or the person's culture, not deceptiveness or mistrust
- listening skills are essential to obtaining information, detecting clues, and generating level 2 and 3 responses.
- few ppl listen well, and poor listening creates barriers in all positions from entry level to CEO
- an interviewee may not listen carefully to a q, while the interviewer may not listen carefully to an answer.



- parties may be so absorbed in their primary roles as questioner and responder that they don't listen well enough.
- there are four approaches to listening
1. for comprehension
2. for empathy
3. for evaluation
4. for resolution
- each plays a specific role in giving, receiving and processing information accurately and insightfully


Listening for Comprehension

- the intent of listening for comprehension is to understand content
- listening for comprehension is designed to receive, understand, and remember an interchange as accurately and completely as possible by concentration on a question, answer, or reaction to understand and remain objective, not to judge.
- this approach is essential when giving and getting information and during the first minutes of interviews when determining how to react.
- be sure to listen carefully and patiently to each question and answer.
- listen to content and ideas as well as tone of voice and vocal emphasis for subtle meanings.
- ask questions to clarify and verify


Listening for Empathy

- the intent of empathetic listening is to understand the other party
- listening for empathy communicates genuine concern, understanding, and involvement.
- empathetic listening reassures, comforts, expresses warmth, and shows regard.
- it is not expressing sympathy or feeling sorry for someone but the ability to place one's self in another's situation
- show interest and concern nonverbally and by not interrupting. be comfortable and nonjudgemental with displays of emotion.
- reply with tact and understanding and by providing options and guidelines.


Listening for Evaluation

- the intent of evaluative listening is to judge content and actions
- this is often referred to as critical listening - it's listening that judges what you hear and observe.
- it may follow comprehension and empathy because you are ready to judge when you comprehend the verbal and nonverbal interaction
- often expressing criticism may diminish cooperation and level of disclosure
- make judgements only after listening carefully to content and observing nonverbal cues.
- ask q's for clarification of exchanges and validations of your interpretations.
- do not become defensive when an interview party reacts critically to your criticisms


Listening for Resolution (dialogic listening)

- the intent of dialogic listening is to resolve problems
- john stewart developed a 4th type of listening called dialogic listening that focuses on "ours" rather than "mine" or "yours" and believes the agenda for resolving a problem or task supersedes the individual.
- most important for problem-solving interviews when the goal is the join resolution of a problem or task
- stewart likens dialogic listening to adding clay to a mold together, to see how the other person will react, what the person will add, and how this will affect the shape and content of the product.


Listening for Resolution (dialogic listening)

follow these guidelines:
- encourage interaction and trust the other party to make significant contributions.
- paraphrase and add to the other party's responses and ideas while focusing on the present
- center your attention on the communication taking place rather the the psychology of the interview


Listening (summary)

- active and insightful listening are critical to interviews, but it is a difficult and invisible skill to attain, party bc our educations and experiences as children, students, employees, and subordinates prepare us to be passive listeners.
- you become a more effective listener by being as satisfied as a listener as you are a talker
- be an active listener by attending carefully and critically to both verbal and NV signals
- learn to ignore distractions such as surroundings, appearance, and interruptions.
- always know which is the best listening approach to use
- listening, like speaking, is a learned skill



Initiating the Interview

- who initiates the interview and how may affect the control, roles and atmosphere
- either party may initiate an interview
- a situation can determine who initiates the interview - for example an insurance claims adjuster must interview the owner of a computer that was stolen from an apartment.
- you can enhance the climate of an interview by initiating it directly rather than through a third party and by informing the interviewee about the purpose, nature, and use of the information to be exchanged.




- settings are seldom neutral
- each party perceived the interview situation in similar and different ways
- parties will communication at levels 2 and 3 if they perceive the situation to be familiar rather than strange, informal rather than formal, warm rather than cold, private rather than open, and close rather than distant physically, socially and psychologically.
- organizations attempt to enhance concentration and motivation with well lighted, pleasantly painted, moderate sized rooms with comfortable furniture, temperature, and ventilation.
- some settings that resemble living rooms, dining rooms, family rooms and studies make interview parties feel more at home and willing to communicate
- perceptions are critical in moving beyond level 1 interactions



Time of Day, Week, Year

- each of us have optimum times for interactions
- we may interact best at certain time of the day, week or year
- holidays are good times for some interviews and bad for others.
- events that precede or follow interviews may make it difficult for either party to concentrate, listen or answer questions (academic or medical examination, possible layoffs, drops in the stock market)
- take into account events before and after interviews




- don't underestimate the importance of place
- consider who's turf is better for the interview
- we protect our turf, think of your reactions when you walked into your room or office and found another person in your personal space.
- few women have a particular and unviolated room in their homes, while men have dens or man caves, studies, or work areas that are off limits to others.




- surroundings help create a productive climate
- objects and decorations may create an appropriate atmosphere and interview climate
- trophies, awards, degrees, and license attractively displayed communicate achievements, professional credibility and stature
- pictures, statues and busts of leaders and famous people communicate organizational and person history, success, recognition and endorsement.
- colors of walls, types of carpeting, wall hangings, wallpaper, and curtains can provide a warm, attractive atmosphere conducive of effective communication




- noise in an interview is anything that interferes with the communication process, including background noise, doors opening and closing, music, others talking, objects being dropped, traffic, etc.
- eliminate negative influence of noise by selecting locations free of background noise or taking simple precautions like closing a door, window, curtain, turning off a cellphone, tv, or CD player.
- inform others that you don't want to be disturbed
- eliminate self-generated noise by coming to each interview physically and psychologically ready for the interview and ready to concentrate.
- try to focus your energy and attention on the other party, questions, answers and nonverbal signals.




- relationship affects territorial comfort zones
- age, gender, and culture influence territorial preferences
- you may select a seat, arrange books and papers, and place coats and hates strategically around you to stake our your physical and physiological space.
- you may resent those who invade this carefully crafted space with their choice of seating, possessions, eyes, voices or bodies.
- think about how you felt when someone walked into your professors office when you were discussing an issue, or a colleague talking loud at the next dest while you're talking with a client




- proximity of interview parties affect comfort level
- you may feel uncomfortable with ppl who insist on talking nose-to-nose, and may react by backing up, placing furniture between the two of you, or terminating the interview
- "territorial markers"
- "personal space" described an imaginary bubble around us that we consider to be almost as private as the body itself
- touching-18 inches is intimate distance
- personal distance is 1 1/2-4ft
- social distance is 4-12ft
- 2-4ft, approximately an arms length or on opposite sides of a table or desk is an optimum distance for most interviews




- relationship, status, situation, feelings of parties toward one another all influence the size of the bubble with which you are comfortable
- we maintain a greater distance with a stranger than with close associates or peers
- some ppl want to get in your face when angry and others widen the space bc their anger is translated into distancing themselves form your physically, socially and emotionally
- age, gender and culture determine space preferences
- ppl of the same age sit closer together than those of mixed ages, particularly when age differences is significant
- all-male parties tend to arrange themselves farther apart than all-female parties or mixed-gender parties




- north americans prefer greater personal distances than do middle easter and latin americans
- where you sit and on what you sit is often determined by status, gender, furnishings, cultural norms, relationship and personal preferences
- a superior and subordinate may sit across a desk from one another
- seating may equalize control and enhance the interview climate
- two chairs at right angles near the corner of the desk creates a less formal atmosphere and a greater feeling of equality between the two parties. students often prefer this arrangement with professors



- outside forces may determine roles in many interviews
- family, friends, associates, employers, government, professional associates, etc. = outside forces
- we are not really alone with the other party
- outside forces may suggest or dictate who takes part, when and where; attitudes assumed; topics covered; structure followed; questions asked and answers given
- organizational policies, union contracts, pressures of a political campaign, equal employment opportunity laws, and competitors influence perceptions, levels of exchanges, self-disclosure, and interviewing approaches.



- what may take place following the interview - a report you must submit, accounts in the media, possible grievances or lawsuits, reactions of peers - may make parties careful and wary or headstrong and hasty
- you may feel pressure to relate that you followed the rules, drove a hard bargain, got a deal, or told the other party where to get off.
- remember that the two interview parties are seldom truly alone in the process



variables present in each interview:
- two parties
- exchanging roles
- perceptions
- levels of exchanges
- verbal and nonverbal messages
- relationships
- feedback
- listening
- situations
- outside forces

- interviewing is a dynamic process between two complex parties operating with imperfect verbal and nonverbal symbols guides and controlled by perceptions and the situation.
- the ability to listen (for comprehension, empathy, evaluation and resolution) and to employ silence strategically are often more important than what you have to say
- a thorough understanding of the process is necessary for successful interviewing
- be aware of perceptions of the self, the other party, how the other party sees you, and the situation are critical in determining how interviews progress and whether desired outcomes are achieved.
- interviewer and interviewee must be flexible and adaptable in choosing which approach to take (directive, nondirective, or a combo), not only bc each party is unique and each situation is different, but bc each party is molded and affected by demographics such as age, gender, race and culture.