Flashcards in Confidence Deck (47):
The instant confidence builder, for preparation
"I am Davis Reardon"
Epic Music of your choice
Explaining why you're doing something for someone
"Because I trust you. That's a gift not to be taken lightly- dont abuse that."
Responding to a threat
1) Calmly take away their ability to follow through
2) Do the opposite of what they want
The source of confidence
1) Make physical contact
2) Have a lower voice than the person you're talking to
3) Eye contact
4) Use their name, alot- especially when you first meet
5) Take up more space than the others
6) You determine when you meet again
7) Either leave first, or dismiss the person
8) Announce who you're meeting or what you're doing later
Your sentences start with a verb
No vocal fillers
"Hey, look at me..."
"Thank you" before they respond
Questions start with "Could you _?"
All greetings= "Hi there"
Only confident if you smile
Saying 'Thank you'
Smile "Thanks, I appreciate it"
Have to do something small for them in return later on
Someone wants to do something you don't want to
"No, I don't think so"
"Hi there" -everytime
Laughter-- "You're ____, (name), I like you."
After disarming someone
"Now if you were one of my students, I might teach you how to do what you just tried to pull the right way. But instead I think Im going to keep you here until you promise _____"
You need something to go a certain way...
"Okay, heres what's gonna happen_"
Someone tries to intimidate you
If someone is trying to intimidate you, it means they're panicking about somethin. So you need to respond as you would to someone who is panicking. "Hey, look at me. I need you to calm down. Okay? You think you can do that for me?"
The key to confidence is being more prepared than the other guy.
Preparedness means research, (and not just a quick Google search either) Need to see living space, phone, former associates, place of business, lovers.
Understand them better
Best method is an event tree
Multiple potential contacts/sources for the same thing
Based in different levels
1) Alternate strategy, from same source
2) Alternate source for the same goal
3) Alternate goal that achieves the same overall purpose
Either way, if things don't go your way, you could be doing the same thing within the hour
When you've dealt with a similar problem you're more likely to come out on top if it comes up again, regardless of how it turned out the last time. But you can research that situation and find others experience or also bluff through this by creating a story that endowed you with that same experience (gives you credibility)
A key component
Lead into the room with your torso and the bridge of your nose in sight
Perception of Control
You have it- always
That means never behaving as though things are out of control
You know exactly where you are, you know everyone in the room, you know exactly what to say and do, and you control the outcome of the situation even if they think they do
Say that its good
Issue a compliment
"You know what might make it even better?"
Explain your opinion
Confidence sound track
The Four Horsemen
No Church in the Wild
Knock on Wood
Gold on the Cieling
Someone uses violence
Means that you're in control, and you can tell them that
"Wow, now thats some desperation. You really don't like someone else having control do you? But hey thanks for showing me you who's in charge."
When someone disrespects you...
"You and me, we're done. I have no reason to respect someone who doesn't respect me, simple as that."
Someone is genuinely sorry (theyve done something to prove it)
That person is surrendering to your control
"Hey, look at me. I've already forgotten about that; like It never happened. I only do that once, don't abuse it."
Getting someone to cooperate with you
Solve a problem for them, discreetly
Approach them afterwords
When confronted about a dark time
"You see, most of the really exciting stories in this world will tell you about the guy who almost got to the top before things started going imperceptibly wrong: the archetypical tragedy- (your Hamlets, your Eddie Spinolas, your Walter Whites). But I find the rags-to-riches archetype far more interesting; and your at the introduction, not the conclusion. Next time wait til the story's finished before you write your review, okay buddy?"
Someone thinks you should do something
Or "No, I don't think so."
Before "Ive got a better idea... _____"
Someone tells you not to do something
Then do it anyway
Someone subtlety suggests you do something as an alternative
Stare them down with a 'I dont think so' look
When someone tells you why they're upset
"And is that why you're upset? Or is it something else?"
When you're worried about something
You problems just go away, half the time they were never there to begin with
If you acknowledge it, you call it into being- even if you're certain its already there
You have no problems
When someone does something that bothers you (and you would usually ignore it)
Look them dead in the eye, furrow your brow, raise your chin
The confident perspective on who you are
"Woman and potential clients alike think of me as a miracle worker, but why tell you that when i can show you?"
Keep your hands from shaking
Clutch them in front of in front of you with cofidence
Or touch something the environment... A rail in front of you. The sides of the door frame something.
Script for whenever you think "i miss her"
"Nope, no you you dont. Love is the sickness, this is a symptom, and phone numbers are the treatment. Go get em tiger."
Someone looks away when you're talking to them
"Hey, look at me, alright...?"
You tone is determined by who your talking to
Dominance when meeting someone new
Keep using the persons name
Tell them whats going to happen, and then leave before they can disagree or change their mind
Needs to be achieved immediately
The attitude: "This person works for me"
Getting your point across while establishing dominance
End your dialog with "Nod if your understand me"
Use "Im not done yet" if they interrupt.
Recovering from something
Rule 1) The first half of moving on is by DOING, not planning. Cant move on sitting down. Have to get up and be active.
If before 7:30PM, prepare for sleep in your calandar
Otherwise: Follow morning routine
AFTER THAT plan goals, order steps by urgency, and take action
The logic behind your confidence
Getting Tossome off the ground is just a matter of time
Because you're hiring the best and implementing consultants, it cannot fail
Which means money and power is just a matter of time
Women and fame will follow
Should be every bit as confident as you will be the day it happens
When you're feeling down... (3 things)
1) Happy Music
3) Call Someone
First thing every morning
Live out the dream sinereo
Most important thing when dealing with a loss
Do not break the routine
When you feel yourself start to slip into an 'ask' prayer
"No, God knows what I want, i've already asked. At this point, all you need to say is 'thank you'
Someone wants/needs something from you and they're willing to hurt you to get it
"There's no need. I work for the carrot, never the stick. So the real question is: what can you do for me?"
Someone begins to say no when you've offered them an opportunity
"Pay attention ___, this is very simple. This is happening. You need only decide the role you will play."
Someone asks you a rhetorical question that implies the word "no"