L6 Social Relationships Flashcards Preview

Subjective Well-Being > L6 Social Relationships > Flashcards

Flashcards in L6 Social Relationships Deck (26):
1

Key ingredient to high SWB recipe

Strong social relatiomships

2

Gordon

The necessity of love
- very few report not being happy with lots of love
- fewer report being happy with no love

High amounts of love make a person happier than high amounts of money

3

Relationship studies

1. Seligman and Diener
- happiest people all had close relationships
2. Chrystakis
- happiness spreads in social networks
3. Cacioppo
- Loneliness-serious affliction
- Chronic loneliness leads to depression and health problems
4. Williams
- Ostracism is the worst punishment
- Study with the Amish & solitary confinement
- Lack of stimulation- emphasis on social stimulation

4

Friends

Lots of friends vs. Few very close friends
1. Introverts- a few close friends
2. Extroverts- lost of acquaintances & few close friends; thrive with more friends

5

Concentric circles of friendship

1. confidantes
2. friends
3. acquaintances
4. people you recognize
5. everyone else
* often the closest friend is your partner

6

Parental Marital Category

Predicts kid's happiness
* highest to lowest life satisfaction
1. harmonious marriage
2. average marriage
3. divorce & no remarriage
4. harmonious remarriage
5. conflicted marriage
6. conflicted remarriage

7

Supportive relationships

Fun is good, but not enough
- respect, trust, counting on each other, sharing

8

Social support

Having people you can count on in an emergency, also important to give suport

9

Marrying the right person

Good looking, nice, and fun are Not enough
- never marry a nice person who has a serious personality flaw

Finding the right person is important, but being the right person is also important. Having the capacity to love and be intimate

10

Love

1. Need love to live
- Skeel's study of infants at orphanage
- those children that received comfort, love, care and attention lived a normal life, whereas the other group died, was mentally handicapped or mentally ill
2. Love is important to SWB
3. But love can be short
- it's important to give attention to people at the right time

11

Sternberg's Triangular Theory

1. Intimacy
- closeness, boundedness
2. Passion
- romance, physical attraction
"infatuation"
3. Commitment
- decision to continue the relationship

12

Different types of love

Consummate love: intimacy, passion, and commitment
* ideal
Liking: intimacy alone
Infatuation: passion alone
Empty love: commitment alone
Romantic love: intimacy and passion
Companionate love: intimacy and commitment
Fatuous love: passion and commitment

13

Fromm's three levels of love

Three levels of love
1. Infatuation
- doesn't last
2. D-love- deficiency love
- loving the person because they fulfill your deficiencies
3. B-love- being love
- loving a person because they're them and wanting to help them

14

Characteristics of B-love

1. It's an activity, not an emotion
2. Self-love is required
3. Partners keep their individuality

examples
- teaching a child to ride a bike
- going to a boring part
- helping a person with their work
- saying no to a child
* not always fun, but often satisfying

15

Immature vs. Mature love

Immature love
- I love you because I need you

Mature love
- I need you because I love you

16

Inauthentic love

Must make decisions for the other person
Unrealistic expectations of the other
Personal change seen as a threat
Does not trust the other person
Needs other person to fill void
Lacks commitment
Unwilling to share thoughts and feelings
Manipulate the other person

Relationships can also be bad for SWB:
- conflictual, distrusting, manipulative, unequal giving

17

Suggestions to achieving positive partnerships

Similarity to partner in values and goals
Similar in work ethic
A partner who is giving, not too needy
A partner who is not too neurotic
A partner who is happy
A partner who is conscientious

*Important being that person yourself
- important to be realistic and choosing wisely, looking beyond cute and fun
- if you want to be loved, be lovable
- if you want to be loved, be loving

18

Gottman's positivity ratio

*Towards stronger relationships thru positivity
Negatives weigh more heavily than positives
- 5 or 6 positive for each negative just to be at neutral
ex. if you're half positive & half negative- you're in the extremely negative zone

19

Negative interchanges

Criticism
Correcting
Too much teasing
Ignoring
Talking over
Taking over
Laughing at mistakes

20

Positive interchanges

Expressing gratitude
Giving compliments
Sharing information
Sharing private things- intimacy
Showing interest
Helping
Defending
Smiling
Touching
Talking about things interesting to the other

21

Upward Spirals

Positive begets positive
Negative begets negative
- important to have a positivity habit

Leads to lasting relationships, makes everyone happier, and is more effective in getting things done
- Skinner and positive reinforcement (and occasionally negative reinforcement)

22

Critical Positivity Ratio

Myth of an exact ratio- Frederickson
2.84 : 1
Positive to negative actions
Based on faulty computing

23

Why are people negative?

Jealousy, bad moods, anger, hostility, wanting to feel superior, competitiveness, fear of too much closeness, self-centeredness, narcissistic, resentments, discrimination

24

Social Capital

Social support at neighborhood and societal levels
- Vancouver- asking for directions
- Neighborhoods- shoveling snow, welcoming with food
- School adopts neighborhood widow
- 4 hour road cleanup
- smiling and saying hi

Un-capital
- dog running down the street, letting neighbor know and getting door slammed in face without response

25

Two approaches toward popularity

1. Life of the party
2. Heart of champions
- overcoming the extremely competitive side and letting kindness guide

26

Social relations and health

Having social support and hugging is related to strong immunity to infections