What are the six social trends affecting the traditional view of marriage?
1. Increased acceptance of singlehood
2. Increased acceptance of cohabitation
3. Increased fagility of marriage
4. Transitions in gender roles
5. Increased voluntary childlessness
6. Decline of traditional nuclear family
In regards to the social trends affecting the traditional view of marriage, describe the increased acceptance of singlehood.
In regards to the social trends affecting the traditional view of marriage, describe the increased acceptance of cohabitiation.
Cohabitation means living together in a sexual, intimate relationship without the legal bonds of marriage.
Negative attitudes toward cohabitation have declined
Married couples are now the minority (49.7% of households are married)
Cohabitating couples increasingly include children
In regards to the social trends affecting the traditional view of marriage, describe the increasing fragility of marriage
There is a disagreement and controversy over the accuracy of divorce rates.
The divorce rate more than doubled between 1965 and 1979
66% of divorce rates are initiated by women
Describe ethnicity divorces
The divorce rate for African Americans is ~2% higher
Asian-Americans divorce rate is MUCH lower
In regards to the social trends affecting the traditional view of marriage, describe the transition in gender roles.
Role expectations for husbands and wives are becoming more varied, flexible, and ambiguous
500% increase in employment of mothers of small children
(1950- 12% of mothers with children
200-60% of mothers with children)
2006: Women earned earned 51% of all PhDs (compared to 39% of women in 1995 and 22% in 1975)
In regards to the social trends affecting the traditional view of marriage, describe the increased voluntary childlessness
And discuss the reasons that married couples want to be childless.
The percent of women without kids has risen in all age groups
The percent of childfree couples has DOUBLED since 1980
An increasing # of married couples who choose to not have children reasons: focus on career rather than family, desire independence, concerns about overpopulation.)
In regards to the social trends affecting the traditional view of marriage, describe the decline of the traditional nuclear family.
Less than 10% of American families fit the traditional
breadwinner husband+homemaker wife= ~2 Kids
The nuclear family has never existed for minority families and low SES families.
When deciding to marry, what are American women socialized to do?
How many Americans marry at least once?
American women are socialized to believe that their lives are not complete until they get married.
90% of Americans marry at least once
In regards to predictors of marital success, describe measuring
It is difficult to measure, many unhappy couples who do not get divorced.
There are no fool proof predictors of marital success
Length of time does not = success in relationship
In regards to predictors of marital success, descibe family background and age
In family background, intergenerational "divorce cycle"; people from dysfunctional families have negative relationship templates
Parental hostility level predicts marital hostility level of off spring
Age- As people marry older, divorce rates may decline
In regards to predictors of marital success, descibe length of courtship and personality.
Length of Courtship-
Waiting longer leads to greater chance of marital success
People who are cautious about marriage have attitudes and values that promote marital stability
Surprisingly, personality similarity is NOT predictive of marital success.
Traits that are bad for marriage= perfectionism and insecurity
**In regards to predictors of marital success, descibe premarital communication**
Marital distress and divorce are more likely if courtship has: negativity, sarcasm, insults, and lack of support
Positive communication elements:
Relationships with self disclosure and acceptance are the most successful-being understood and validated is strongly related to marital satisfaction.
Forgiveness is also related to marital satisfaction
Playfulness and positive emotion in mundane, everyday interactions.
In regards to predictors of marital success, describe stress.
Stressful situations surrounding a marriage increase conflict and distress and decrease stability.
Stressors include: financial issues, infidelity, distance, losing a job
In regards to adjusting to children discuss:
Do people change their mind
Voluntary childless women
Marital satisfaction is highest in marriage before the arrival of the first child.
~25% change their mind
Voluntary childless women have higher income and more work experience.
What are reasons that couples have children?
Responsibilites to procreate
Joy of watching children mature
Sense of purpose
Don't want to be lonely when old
In regards to adjusting to children discuss:
How many mothers experience Postpartum Depression
Transition to parenthood
10-13% of new mothers experience post partum depression
Risk Factors= Family histroy of depression, high stress, and marital dissatisfaction
Transition to Parenthood:
Is more difficult whewn father does not meet mother's childcare expectations
Fathers with nontraditional gender ideologies are more proactive with childrearing and have better relationships
In regards to adjusting to children, what is it associated with?
Having children is associated with lower marital satisfaction
Mothers of infants are the least satisfied
Negative relationship between # of children and marital satisfaction
Having children is associated with higher rates of stress and depression and a lower experience of positive emotionss
In regards to childrearing, discuss the "little adult myth" and when interacting with children what to do.
More productive to think of yourself as a wild animal trainer
You cannot reason with a small child. Reason and logic go out the window.
Techniques derived from Behaviorism are very effective with children-Contingency Managements (Reinforcing positive behaviors and ignoring/redirecting behavior)
When interacting with children...
Use active listening
Empower with a "feeling vocabulary"
Avoid negative reactions such as yelling, name-calling, sarcasn, pleasing, and guilt.
In regards to childrearing:
What does research show
What are better childrearing
What do children want more than anything.
Research consistently shows that physical discipline is always a BAD idea
Much better childrearing skills:
Reinforcing positive behaviors
Ignoring or redirecting negative behaviors
Empirically supported methods such as 1-2-3
More than anything children want:
If they don't get it in positive ways, then they will seek it by misbehaving. (Children communicate via "bad" behavior; Children can manipulate parents and control households)
What are the five parenting tips?
1. Let expectations be known
2. Communicate the consequences of noncompliance
3. Give a warning before disciplining
4. Follow through
5. *Be confident*
In regards to parenting tips, discuss:
Follow through and Consistency
Followthrough-children must understand that adults mean business
Consistency is important, because inconsistency makes discipline seem random. random discipline leads to random behavior.
Parental responses must be predictive
The importance of structure and repetition
In regards to adolescent children and elder care discuss:
What stage is most difficult as rated by parents
And discuss, middle aged couples.
Parents overwhelmingly rate adolescents as the most difficult stage of parenting. (Problematic parent-teen relationships are the exception rather than the rule)
Middle aged couples sometimes care for aging parents as well. ("sandwich generation"
33% of women aged 55-69 care for children and parents simultaneously
Caring for an aging parent is associated with increased psychological distress
Middle aged women have the highest stress levels of any demographic.
Discuss the importance of communication
Effective communication is the #1 ingredient in a healthy marriage
Most frequently cited problem and is the #1 cause of divorce
Importance of feeling safe to discuss conflict, and the importance of how conflict is handled
Unhappy couples get stuck in escalating cycles of conflict. Happy couples break the cycle.
The importance of momentum.
Discuss Unhappy Marriages
Unhappily married couples:
Have difficulty conveying positive messages
Are less likely to recognize misunderstandings
Use more frequent and more intense negative messages
Differ in the amount of self-disclosure they prefer
Discuss the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
1. Contempt Communicating that one's spuse is inferior
2. Criticism Negative evaluations of one's partner; "You" statements
3. Defensiveness Responding by invalidating, refuting, or denying the partner's statements
4. Stonewalling Refusing to listen to one's partner
In regards to divorce, discuss when divorce is likely and divorce rates. And, what are the stigmas of older and newer attitudes?
Divorce rates have recently gone down slightly because of the economy.
Most people underestimate their likelihood of experiencing divorce
Most divorces occur during the first decade of their marriage
Older attitudes: suffer in silence
Newer attitudes: the importance of individual fulfillment
When deciding on divorce, what are the pros and cons?
Divorce is a process rather than a discrete event
Higher rates of autonomy , self awareness, personal growth, and job success.
The importance of a social suppport network
Unhappily married people have lower life satisfaction and lower self esteem
Expense, stress, higher incidence of physical and psychological health problems, lower happiness.
When adjusting to divorce, who is it more disruptive towards?
Who assumes the childrearing responsibilities/?
And, preoccupation with an ex-spouse is associated with what?
Divorce is more difficult and disruptive for women, especially financially. Men also experience a decline in standard of living.
Women are more likely to assume childrearing responsibilities, whereas men are more likely to reduce their contact with children
Effect of divorce on well-being is similar for both sexes.
High preocccupation with an ex-spouse is associated with poorer adjustment. (this is referring to the person that was dumped)
What are some factors predicting favorable post-divorce adjustment?
Positive attitudes about the divorce
Being the initiator (thye will have control)
Forgiveness of the ex-spouse
Supportive social relationships