Chapter 10 - WHAT GETS IN YOUR WAY?

Question 1

What are the common obstacles coaching clients encounter?

Answer 1

• Energy drainers
• Unmet needs
• Fears

Fears will be explored in depth in Chapter 15.

Question 2

What are energy drainers?

Answer 2

Psychic vampires that suck the vitality out of each day.

Examples include clutter and other distractions.

Question 3

What is the first step in addressing energy drainers and unmet needs?

Answer 3

Identify obstacles that stand in the way of satisfaction.

Question 4

What are the costs associated with energy drainers?

Answer 4

• Energy
• Time
• Focus

Clients should assess how these blocks impact their lives.

Question 5

What are the two categories of blocks to satisfaction?

Answer 5

• The Little Annoyances—Life’s Gnats
• The Big or Chronic Complaints—Life’s Sufferings

Question 6

What are examples of ‘gnats’?

Answer 6

• Messy closets
• Crowded garage
• Unfinished marketing brochure
• Car that needs a tune-up
• Broken lock
• Dry cleaning to take in

Question 7

What characterizes ‘sufferings’ in the context of life blocks?

Answer 7

Issues that create tension and diminish the quality of life.

Question 8

According to Buddhism, what is the first Noble Truth?

Answer 8

‘To live is to suffer.’

Question 9

What is the recommended exercise for clients to manage their gnats and sufferings?

Answer 9

Identify personal gnats and sufferings, count the cost, and take action.

Question 10

What are the four strategies to address gnats and sufferings?

Answer 10

• Eliminate them
• Allow them to disappear
• Park or put aside the issue
• Neutralize them
• Convert them into learning opportunities or gratitude

Question 11

What does it mean to ‘neutralize’ a gnat or suffering?

Answer 11

Look for a compromise or short-term solution to reduce emotional charge.

Question 12

What can clients do to track their energy drainers?

Answer 12

Use the Energy Drainer Worksheet to identify and manage energy drainers.

Question 13

What is Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs?

Answer 13

A framework that categorizes human needs from basic security to self-actualization.

Question 14

What levels were added to Maslow’s original hierarchy after its development?

Answer 14

• Transcendence
• Aesthetic needs
• Need to know and understand

Question 15

What is self-actualization according to Maslow?

Answer 15

The need to find self-fulfillment and realize one’s potential.

Question 16

What does the aesthetic need refer to?

Answer 16

The need for symmetry, order, and beauty.

Question 17

What is an important realization about having needs?

Answer 17

Having needs is a normal and natural part of human existence.

Question 18

What happens when individuals deny their needs?

Answer 18

They drive their needs underground, gaining power over their lives.

Question 19

How can clients reclaim energy lost to drainers?

Answer 19

By addressing and eliminating items on their Energy Drainer list.

Question 20

What is the purpose of the Energy Gainers list?

Answer 20

To identify positive activities that impact life positively and reclaim energy.

Question 21

What should clients do periodically regarding their list of gnats and sufferings?

Answer 21

Revisit the list every 60 days to update and manage items.

Question 22

Fill in the blank: The first step in addressing energy drainers is to identify __________.

Answer 22

[obstacles]

Question 23

What is self-actualization according to Maslow?

Answer 23

The ability of people to bring their powers together in a particularly efficient and intensively enjoyable way.

Maslow redefined self-actualization in 1968 as a state of integration and living fully in the present.

Question 24

What are the characteristics of self-actualized individuals?

Answer 24

They are more integrated, self-supporting, self-accepting, open to experiences, idiosyncratic, expressive, spontaneous, creative, humorous, ego-transcending, and independent of lower needs.

These characteristics contribute to their ability to activate their potential.

Question 25

What does Maslow mean by 'inner-directedness'?

Answer 25

The ability to rely on one's internal gyroscope when making decisions. ## Footnote This concept suggests that individuals live with responsible awareness.

Question 26

True or False: According to Maslow, once basic needs are fulfilled, individuals no longer function at lower levels of the hierarchy.

Answer 26

False. ## Footnote Individuals constantly function at all levels of the hierarchy, but their primary awareness is at one or two levels.

Question 27

What is the significance of tracking emotions in recognizing needs?

Answer 27

When a need is not met, we feel frustrated, fearful, disappointed, hurt, or angry; when met, we feel pleased, excited, and motivated. ## Footnote Tracking emotions can help identify unmet needs.

Question 28

Fill in the blank: Needs occur at every level of Maslow’s hierarchy, and when insufficiently met they keep clients from being their _______.

Answer 28

best.

Question 29

What are the four major categories of needs identified in coaching?

Answer 29

* Needs for security * Needs for power and influence * Needs for achievement or attainment * Needs for connection or affiliation ## Footnote Each category encompasses specific needs that individuals seek to fulfill.

Question 30

What is the difference between needs and wants?

Answer 30

Needs exert a driving force when unmet, while wants are desirable but do not have the same urgency. ## Footnote This distinction is crucial for understanding human motivation.

Question 31

What can cause a person to feel empty, incomplete, or less than whole?

Answer 31

An unmet need. ## Footnote This feeling contrasts with the freedom experienced when needs are sufficiently met.

Question 32

What does Maslow’s research suggest about individuals in risk-taking situations?

Answer 32

They are not necessarily sick but are often seeking something. ## Footnote This perspective shifts the focus from pathology to potential.

Question 33

What is a common misconception about needs in consumer societies?

Answer 33

They teach individuals not to distinguish between needs and wants. ## Footnote Advertising often turns wants into perceived needs to drive sales.

Question 34

What is the first step in making friends with our needs?

Answer 34

Acknowledge that we have needs. ## Footnote Recognition of needs is essential for personal growth and fulfillment.

Question 35

Why is it important for coaches to understand the level at which their clients are functioning?

Answer 35

It helps determine how best to serve and support their clients' growth. ## Footnote Understanding clients' needs informs the coaching process.

Question 36

How can clients build an automatic system to meet their needs?

Answer 36

By recognizing their needs and creating consistent, healthy ways to fulfill them. ## Footnote This proactive approach reduces the driving force of unmet needs.

Question 37

What is the role of emotional intelligence in self-actualization?

Answer 37

Emotional intelligence scores tend to rise with age, aligning with self-actualization. ## Footnote This suggests a correlation between personal growth and emotional awareness.

Question 38

What does the term 'time-competent' mean in the context of Maslow's hierarchy?

Answer 38

The ability to live primarily and effectively in the present while integrating past and future experiences. ## Footnote It emphasizes the importance of present awareness for personal growth.

Question 39

What should clients do when they recognize a need?

Answer 39

Identify how their needs are being met and find satisfying and healthy ways to fulfill them. ## Footnote This awareness is crucial for making informed choices.

Question 40

What are the four major categories of needs?

Answer 40

* Needs for security * Needs for power and influence * Needs for achievement or attainment * Needs for intimacy, relationship, and connection ## Footnote These categories represent the broad areas in which human needs can be classified.

Question 41

Define 'needs for security'.

Answer 41

Safety, protection, stability, information, duty, clarity, certainty, honesty, financial security, order, authenticity, commitment to meet obligations. ## Footnote These needs focus on creating a stable and safe environment.

Question 42

Define 'needs for power and influence'.

Answer 42

Control, wealth, authority, management, morality, dominance, freedom, perfection, visibility, leadership, acknowledgment, praise, recognition, influence. ## Footnote These needs are associated with gaining control and recognition in various aspects of life.

Question 43

Define 'needs for achievement or attainment'.

Answer 43

Create, accomplish, achieve results, strive, perform, excel, attain calmness and peace, be busy, be responsible, succeed, contribute, be useful, be of service excellence. ## Footnote These needs relate to personal and professional accomplishments.

Question 44

Define 'needs for intimacy, relationship, and connection'.

Answer 44

Be listened to, needed, loved, touched, helped, included, cherished, appreciated, spiritual, connected, central to a group; to collaborate and communicate, be connected to something greater than oneself. ## Footnote These needs emphasize the importance of social connections and emotional bonds.

Question 45

What might indicate trouble in identifying your needs?

Answer 45

You may not think it acceptable to have needs or may feel ashamed of them. ## Footnote This can lead to a denial of one's needs.

Question 46

What is the rating system for assessing needs in various life dimensions?

Answer 46

+5 (fully met), 0 (not present), -5 (not met at all). ## Footnote This helps evaluate how well needs are satisfied in different areas of life.

Question 47

What should you do if you have too many meetings at work?

Answer 47

Consider attending fewer meetings while ensuring you still meet your need for inclusion. ## Footnote This reflects the need to balance commitments with personal needs.

Question 48

What are the steps to find satisfying and healthy ways to meet your needs?

Answer 48

1. Examine each need for easy fulfillment 2. List at least three satisfying ways to meet each need 3. Take action based on the list 4. Experiment until needs are fulfilled. ## Footnote This process encourages proactive engagement with personal needs.

Question 49

Describe Jerry's primary need.

Answer 49

Jerry has a significant need for achievement. ## Footnote His entrepreneurial efforts reflect this need, influencing his interactions at home and work.

Question 50

What could Jerry do to better meet his achievement need?

Answer 50

* Take on tasks he delegates * Involve others in community leadership * Start a short-term project at work ## Footnote These actions could help him find satisfaction without overextending himself.

Question 51

Why is fulfilling needs critical to clients?

Answer 51

Clients cannot live a fulfilled and balanced life while their needs drive them. ## Footnote Addressing needs helps clients align with their core values and purposes.

Question 52

How do people usually meet their needs?

Answer 52

By striving to gain something externally or comparing current life with desired life. ## Footnote This often involves managing external actions and opinions.

Question 53

What did Maslow say about meeting needs?

Answer 53

If a need were at least 60 percent met, it would set us free. ## Footnote This suggests that partial fulfillment of needs allows individuals to focus on higher-order needs.

Question 54

Fill in the blank: Once a need is met, it can become a _______.

Answer 54

[value] ## Footnote This transition indicates a shift from being driven by needs to living by values.

Question 55

What can happen when basic needs are met?

Answer 55

Individuals can focus on higher-order needs, such as responsibility and personal growth. ## Footnote This allows for the development of habits that support fulfilling lives.